Hubert de Tartas
You believe yourself to be in 1900, eh? Well no! You are in 1970! Poof! And the North Pole? Does that mean anything to you, the North Pole? The North Pole! You've been frozen for sixty-five years in a block of ice and we only just found you intact two months ago!
Edmée de Tartas
Hubert!
Hubert de Tartas
[Hubert to Edmée]
Shut up!
[Hubert to Paul]
Hubert de Tartas
You are not twenty-five, you are ninety! Ninety! And you are the grandfather of your mother, that is to say, of my wife, and her name is not Clementine, her name is Edmée! Edmée! Her name is Edmée! Edmée! Edmée! Edmée! Edmée! Her name is Edmée! Edmée! Edmée! Edmée! Edmée! Edmée! Edmée! Edmée! Edmée! Edmée! Oh, I have things to- Hey! That's not all! That's not all!
[Hubert to the people on the balcony]
Hubert de Tartas
And you, get the hell out of here! So, at the North Pole, you never had a horse accident!
Paul Fournier
No?
Hubert de Tartas
Never! You were shipwrecked! And in the face of death, you were stuffed with whiskey and fell into glycerin. So all that was left to do was to find some ice cream...
Paul Fournier
For the whiskey?
Hubert de Tartas
No! It is thanks to the ice, the whiskey, and the glycerin that you are still with us.
Paul Fournier
Oh good.
Hubert de Tartas
Do not interrupt to say "Oh good!", "Oh yes!", "Blah blah blah"!
[Hubert to the people on the balcony]
Hubert de Tartas
No! Get out of here! Get out of here or I'll kill you!
[Hubert to Paul]
Hubert de Tartas
No! Don't look up there! Look here! Things happened in sixty-five years! Things happened! Things happened! The War of '14! Poof! The War of '40! Poof! The Maxixe, the Mazurka, over! Everything works with electricity! Even guitars work with electricity and all that! How are you? Huh? Are things going well? Hee hee hee hee hee hee! So, tell me- No, look here! Airplanes, how fast do you think they can fly? Come on!
Paul Fournier
They can fly forty?
Hubert de Tartas
My poor little- Two thousand eight hundred kilometers an hour! They have the shape of a cigar and
[Hubert makes the noise of an airplane flying]
Hubert de Tartas
! Twice the speed of sound! You arrive in New York before you've left Paris! Because of time difference of course!
Paul Fournier
Of course.
Hubert de Tartas
Of course! So what do you think of that?
Paul Fournier
That must use a lot of oil.
Hubert de Tartas
Oil, that's all over! Now it's kerosene! We're waiting for atomic fuel! We're going to get atomic fuel! The atom, the neutrons,
[Hubert makes a sound to represent neutrons spinning]
Hubert de Tartas
. And now, we're going to the moon! We're going to the moon in an insect!
Paul Fournier
An insect?
Hubert de Tartas
Oh yes, an insect module!
[Hubert makes a sound to represent a motor]
Hubert de Tartas
An insect module! Men go crazy! Go crazy! Men go crazy!
[Hubert hums a strange melody]
Hubert de Tartas
Men go crazy! Men go crazy! And I feel like I'm going crazy! Edmée! Edmée! Edmée! Edmée! Edmée! Edmée! Edmée! Edmée! Edmée!
Edmée de Tartas
Hubert!
Hubert de Tartas
I told him everything!