Jill Layton
Care for a little necrophilia? Hmmm?
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Sam Lowry
Give my best to Alison and the twins.
Jack Lint
Triplets.
Sam Lowry
Triplets? My how time flies
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Sam Lowry
I only know you got the wrong man.
Jack Lint
Information Transit got the wrong man. I got the *right* man. The wrong one was delivered to me as the right man, I accepted him on good faith as the right man. Was I wrong?
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Arresting Officer
This is your receipt for your husband... and this is my receipt for your receipt.
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Sam Lowry
Excuse me, Dawson, can you put me through to Mr. Helpmann's office?
Dawson
I'm afraid I can't sir. You have to go through the proper channels.
Sam Lowry
And you can't tell me what the proper channels are, because that's classified information?
Dawson
I'm glad to see the Ministry's continuing its tradition of recruiting the brightest and best, sir.
Sam Lowry
Thank you, Dawson.
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Santa Claus
What would you like for Christmas?
Little girl on his lap
My own credit card.
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Harry Tuttle
Listen, kid, we're all in it together.
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[last lines]
Mr. Helpmann
He's got away from us, Jack.
Jack Lint
'Fraid you're right, Mr. Helpmann. He's gone.
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Harry Tuttle
Bloody paperwork. Huh!
Sam Lowry
I suppose one has to expect a certain amount.
Harry Tuttle
Why? I came into this game for the action, the excitement. Go anywhere, travel light, get in, get out, wherever there's trouble, a man alone. Now they got the whole country sectioned off, you can't make a move without a form.
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Sam Lowry
My name's Lowry. Sam Lowry. I've been told to report to Mr. Warrenn.
Porter - Information Retrieval
Thirtieth floor, sir. You're expected.
Sam Lowry
Um... don't you want to search me?
Porter - Information Retrieval
No sir.
Sam Lowry
Do you want to see my ID?
Porter - Information Retrieval
No need, sir.
Sam Lowry
But I could be anybody.
Porter - Information Retrieval
No you couldn't sir. This is Information Retrieval.
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Guard
Don't fight it son. Confess quickly! If you hold out too long you could jeopardize your credit rating.
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Mr. Warrenn
What is this mess? An empty desk is an efficient desk.
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Jack Lint
It's not my fault that Buttle's heart condition didn't appear on Tuttle's file!
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Kurtzmann
[on Buttle]
You see? The population census has got him down as "dormanted." Uh, the Central Collective Storehouse computer has got him down as "deleted."
Sam Lowry
Hang on.
[goes to a computer terminal]
Kurtzmann
Information Retrieval has got him down as "inoperative." And there's another one - security has got him down as "excised." Administration has got him down as "completed."
Sam Lowry
He's dead.
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Sam Lowry
Can you fix it?
Harry Tuttle
No, I can't. But I can bypass it with one of these.
[Holds up a bizarre device]
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Mrs. Terrain
There's been a little complication with my complication
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Charlie, Department of Works
Bloody typical, they've gone back to metric without telling us.
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Mr. Helpmann
Bad sportsmanship. A ruthless minority of people seem to have forgotten good old-fashioned virtues. They just can't stand seeing the other fellow win. If these people would just play the game...
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T.V. Interviewer
How do you account for the fact that the bombing campaign has been going on for thirteen years?
Mr. Helpmann
Beginners' luck.
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Telegram Girl
[dancing wildly, while singing in an absurdly high soprano]
A-a-a-a-a-a-A-a-a-a-a-a-a-A-a-a-a-a-a-a-A-A! Mrs Ida Lowry requests the pleasure of your COMPANYYYY! At her APARTMENT TONIIIIGHTT! For eight thirtee-EE-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-EE, to MIDNIGHTTT! To celebrate the completion of her recent cosmetic SURGERYYY! E-e-e-e-e-e-E-e-e-e-e-e-E! wwwWWAAAAAAIIIIIIIII!
[very long pause, Sam glances around nervously]
Sam Lowry
ummm... Thanks.
Telegram Girl
It's reply paid.
Sam Lowry
Is it?
[telegram girl nods]
Sam Lowry
oh... um... two, three,
[singing]
Sam Lowry
Mother, I sorry that I am unable to come to your parrrttty...
Telegram Girl
You DON'T have to sing it!
Sam Lowry
I don't?
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Holly
Put it on, big boy. I won't look at your willy.
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1
Harry Tuttle
Listen, this old system of yours could be on fire and I couldn't even turn on the kitchen tap without filling out a 27b/6... Bloody paperwork.
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[last lines]
Mr. Helpmann
He's got away from us, Jack.
Jack Lint
Afraid you're right, Mr. Helpmann. He's gone.
Mr. Helpmann
Mmm.
Jack Lint
Well...
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Mrs. Ida Lowry
Sam! Can't you do something about these terrorists?
Sam Lowry
It's my lunch hour. Besides, it's not my department.
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Mrs. Buttle
What have you done with his body?
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Sam Lowry
Oh, um yes. I always used to wonder if they were real.
Alison
My ears?
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Kurtzmann
Has anybody seen Sam Lowry?
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Bill - Dept. of Works
Mistakes? We don't make mistakes.
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Harry Tuttle
...well, that's a pipe of a different color.
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Sam Lowry
Yes, I always used to wonder if she wore falsies. False ears...
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Kurtzmann
Dead? That's awful. We'll never get rid of the bloody thing now!
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[first lines]
Singers
[TV commercial jingle] Central Services: We do the work, you do the pleasure.
TV commercial pitchman
Hi, there. I want to talk to you about ducts.
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Mr. Warrenn
There you are, your own number on your very own door. And behind that door, your very own office! Welcome to the team, DZ-015
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Jack Lint
Until this whole thing blows over, just stay away from me.
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Sam Lowry
Yes... No... I don't know. I don't know what I want.
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Sam Lowry
Tuttle!
Harry Tuttle
Call me Harry!
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Harry Tuttle
My good friends call me Harry.
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Kurtzmann
It's been confusion from the word go!
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Poster
Happiness: we're all in it together.
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Mr. Helpmann
Jill? Yes... Sam I think I ought to tell you. I'm afraid she's upped stumps and retired to the pavillion. Thrown in the towel.
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Mr. Helpmann
All I can say is don't fall at the last fence. The finishing post's in sight. See you in the paddock... keep your eye on the ball.
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Dr. Lewis Jaffe
Just me and my little knife! Snip snip - slice slice... can you believe it?
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[Lime blows the dust from the keyboard, then presses a key. waits for something to happen]
Lime
[worried and somewhat frustrated]
Sod it, it's broken!
Sam Lowry
You haven't switched it on.
[presses a key, the computer starts]
Lime
Oh, yes.
[looks at Sam, waiting for him to say something]
Lime
[convincingly]
Look, you're putting me off, standing there. Why don't you go back to your office and I'll give you a knock when I finish?
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Jack Lint
You won't get anywhere in a suit like that.
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Sam Lowry
Sorry, I'm a bit of a stickler for paperwork. Where would we be if we didn't follow the correct procedures?
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Sam Lowry
I assure you, Mrs. Buttle, the Ministry is very scrupulous about following up and eradicating any error. If you have any complaints which you'd like to make, I'd be more than happy to send you the appropriate forms.
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Mr. Helpmann
We're fielding all their strokes, running a lot of them out, and pretty consistently knocking them for six. I'd say they're nearly out of the game.
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Dr. Lewis Jaffe
Faces are a doddle compared to tits and ass. No hairline.
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Spoor
Where'd you get this from, eh? Out yer nostril?
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Spoor
All you've got to do is blow your nose and it's fixed, in't it?
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Jack Lint
This is information retrieval not information dispersal.
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[Sam is arguing with his mother while Jaffe tries to perform cosmetic surgery on her]
Dr. Lewis Jaffe
Mr. Lowry, can you wait in reception? You're giving her wrinkles.
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Sign
Suspicion builds Confidence.
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Dr. Chapman
In three weeks, she'll look like Grandma Moses!
Dr. Lewis Jaffe
At least mine don't end up looking like they've been mugged!
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Jill Layton
I want to report a wrongful arrest.
M.O.I. Lobby Porter
You want Information Adjustments. Different department.
Jill Layton
I've been to Information Adjustments. They sent me here. They said you have a form I need to fill out.
M.O.I. Lobby Porter
Have you got an arrest receipt?
Jill Layton
Yeah.
[Takes it out of her pocket.]
M.O.I. Lobby Porter
Is it stamped?
Jill Layton
Stamped?
M.O.I. Lobby Porter
[Takes the arrest receipt and scans it.]
No, no. There's no stamp on it, you see. I can't let you have the form until this is stamped.
Jill Layton
Where do I get it stamped?
M.O.I. Lobby Porter
Information Adjustments.
[Flashing her a quick, sarcastic little smile.]
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Sign
Consumers for Christ
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Mr. Warrenn
Get a new suit.
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Mrs. Terrain
You must have hopes, ambitions, dreams?
Sam Lowry
No! Not even dreams!
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Mrs. Terrain
Shirley and I come here wegularlily. We love romantic lingerie!
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Mr. Helpmann
You're running up an enormous bill by not cooperating!
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Answering Machine
This has not been a recording.
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Lime
So this is your dream girl, is it?
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Sam Lowry
[gives him a present] Merry Christmas, Dawson!
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Sign
[billboard for toilet paper] Soft Weve - Mountain Smooth
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Jill Layton
Doesn't it bother you, the sort of things you do at Information Retrieval?
Sam Lowry
What? I suppose you'd rather have terrorists.
Jill Layton
How many terrorists have you met, Sam? Actual terrorists?
Sam Lowry
Actual terrorists? Well it's only my first day.
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First 'Black Maria' Guard
These helmets are enough to make your scalp itch!
Second 'Black Maria' Guard
Oh don't mention it. And they make you sweat. Half the time I can't even see where I'm going! There's a great Niagara of perspiration coming down.
First 'Black Maria' Guard
Well, I'm lucky. I got these thick eyebrows. That keeps it up and channels it out to the ears.
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First 'Black Maria' Guard
[knocks Sam out with a billy club] Sorry about that sir, regulations!
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Spoor
Sorry, I'm a bit of a stickler for paperwork!
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Sam Lowry
You didn't!
Kurtzmann
I did!
Sam Lowry
You didn't.
Kurtzmann
... I did.
Sam Lowry
Well what did you do that for?
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Lime
Best to take it slowly where some women are concerned.
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Jill Layton
You touched me. Nobody touches me.
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Mr. Warrenn
This is a black eye for the department, Lowry!. And I don't care how you behaved when you were at Records! Information Retrieval is an executive branch! We're proud of our reputation and we protect it!
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Mrs. Ida Lowry
Sam, I'm so glad you came.
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Jack Lint
She witnessed the Tuttle, um, the Buttle arrest and since then she's been getting around making wild allegations, obviously trying to exploit the situation. She's working for someone and I don't think it's us.
Sam Lowry
A terrorist?
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Jack Lint
I believe that this whole Tuttle-Buttle mixup was planned from the inside!
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Mr. Helpmann
I understand this concern on behalf of the taxpayers. People want value for money. That is why we always insist on the principle of Information Retrieval Charges. It's absolutely right and fair that those found guilty should pay for their periods of detention and for the information retrieval procedures used in their interrogation.
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Second 'Black Maria' Guard
Who's he?
First 'Black Maria' Guard
Oh, I don't know. Somebody from Information Retrieval. They're always hanging around in Lingerie.
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Dr. Lewis Jaffe
This is just the beginning.
Sam Lowry
Oh, really?
Dr. Lewis Jaffe
Oh, Christ, yes. You've seen her with her clothes off. Faces are a doddle compared to tits and ass.
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Lime
When there's a woman involved - there's no stopping me.
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Kurtzmann
I don't - know what I'd do if you ever got promoted.
Sam Lowry
God, don't worry about that.
Kurtzmann
No, but if they did promote you...
Sam Lowry
I've told you before. I'd turn it down.
Kurtzmann
Would you, really?
Sam Lowry
Really.
Kurtzmann
You've been promoted. It's your mother, isn't it? Pulling strings again.
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Sam Lowry
Long time no see. What are you doing here? Didn't expect to see you slumming it in Records. What's the problem?
Jack Lint
Problem? No problem. Everything's fine. Wonderful. Marvelous. Alison's in great shape. Kids are fine. I'm on Security Level 5 now, so Mr. Helpmann relies on me more and more. It's been a great year.
Sam Lowry
You sound worried.
Jack Lint
Worried? Me? If I'm worried about anyone, Sam, it's you. Sam, whatever happened to you?
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Jack Lint
Sam, let a friend tell you your life is going wrong. Records is a dead-end department. No security that's worth a damn. It's impossible to get noticed.
Sam Lowry
I know. Wonderful. Marvelous. Perfect.
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Sam Lowry
There's a mismatch on the personnel code numbers. Tuttle should've had 31 pounds and six pence debited against his account, not Buttle.
Kurtzmann
My God, a mistake!
Sam Lowry
Well, at least it's not ours.
Kurtzmann
Isn't it? Whose is it?
Sam Lowry
Information Retrieval.
Kurtzmann
Oh, good.
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Mrs. Ida Lowry
Alma! You wicked girl. You've started your treatments.
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Mrs. Ida Lowry
Oh! By the by, I saw the most wonderful idea for Christmas presents at the chemist's. Gift tokens. Medical gift tokens.
Mrs. Terrain
Oh, that sounds marvelous!
Mrs. Ida Lowry
It's good at any doctor's and most of the major hospitals. It's also accepted for gynecological examinations.
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Mrs. Ida Lowry
The acid man?
Mrs. Terrain
Really, Ida. Just because his techniques are revolutionary. I don't go around calling Dr. Jaffe the knife man.
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Mrs. Ida Lowry
[so Sam] Jack Lint is a lesson to you. He doesn't have your brains, but he's got the ambition. You haven't got the ambition. Luckily you've got me.
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Sam Lowry
Mother, I just wish you would stop interfering. I don't want a promotion. I'm happy where I am.
Mrs. Ida Lowry
No, you're not.
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Kurtzmann
Well, that's it then. I might just as well go and hang myself now. This could never have happened before the stupid 7th tier reorganization. That's Simmons' doing. He and Jeffries always sit together at lunch. Bastards!
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Harry Tuttle
Thanks, Lowry. You're a good man in a tight corner.
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Priest
In life, Mrs Terrain was beautiful. In death, not so beautiful. But the Spirit is still the same!
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Sam Lowry
Are you alive? Well you don't deserve to be! It was a bomb, I knew it!
Jill Layton
Here's your bomb! A bribe for corporate stooges like you. Come on, make yourself useful.
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Sam Lowry
No, they'll be lying in wait!
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Sam Lowry
So you don't trust me?
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Lime
Computers are my forte!
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Sam Lowry
Mr. Helpmann, I'm keen to get into Information Retrieval. Mr. Helpmann, I'm dying to get at this woman... no, no, no.
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Sam Lowry
Are you telling me that this is illegal?
Harry Tuttle
Well, yes and no. Officially, only Central Services Operators are supposed to touch this stuff. Would you hold this, please?
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Sam Lowry
[on the phone] Hello. Central Services? I'm at 579B, Block 19, Northwestern Section D. That's Exit 1 on Green Pastures Highway at the Orange Blossom Flyover. And I've got trouble with my air conditioning. It's an emergency.
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Sam Lowry
If I wanted to upset you, Mother, I'd tell you where to stick it.
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Kurtzmann
Perhaps we could lose the thing behind a - filing cabinet or something - or burn it, eat it.
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Sam Lowry
Actually, you know, my coming here is rather unorthodox. Bringing you this check. As any payments are normally made through Central Computer. But, as there were certain difficulties, we thought rather than cause delay, we'd let you have it now. You know, it being Christmas and all.
Mrs. Buttle
My husband's dead, isn't he?
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Kurtzmann
My wrist is all limp. What a pathetic creature I am!
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Sam Lowry
Are you Mrs. Buttle? My name is Lowry. Sam Lowry. I'm from the Ministry of Information. I've come to give you a check. It's a refund, actually. There was a mistake.
Mrs. Buttle
Mistake?
Sam Lowry
Yes. They don't usually make mistakes, but - well, I suppose we're all human.
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Spoor
Who fixed your ducts?
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2010, USA / Great Britain, Family, Fantasy, Drama, Mystery, Adventure
