Barnyard Movie Quotes
Ben the Cow
Otis, a strong man stands up for himself, a stronger man stands up for others.
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Mrs. Beady
Randall, There is a cow outside.
Mr. Beady
This is a cow farm. You're gonna find cows outside.
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Pizza Delivery Guy
Dude, I got a ARM!
Pizza Delivery Guy
Yah, Righteous!. Doodley Doodley Doo Doo!
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Otis the Cow
That's called boy tipping... HA..HA..HA..
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Otis the Cow
[Miles has kicked the farmer unconscious a third time]
WILL YOU... STOP... DOING... THAT?
Miles the Mule
Well, unless you get him a blindfold, I'm gonna kick him!
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Freddy the Ferret
[the unconscious farmer has discovered the animals]
He knows too much! We gotta take care of him. We gotta whack him!
Otis the Cow
There will be NO WHACKING! Okay? The farmer's a good guy! He's been good to us.
Miles the Mule
He's a vegan! God bless him.
Pig the Pig
And, uh, what is a vegan again?
Freddy the Ferret
Oh, I know this one...
Pip the Mouse
Naw, I got it... it means you can't eat anything with a face.
Peck the Rooster
No, no, that's a vegetarian.
Pig the Pig
Vegetarians have to eat in the dark, right?
Duke the Dog
That's a VAMPIRE. C'mon!
Pip the Mouse
You can't eat cheese?
Bessy the Cow
It's not just cheese, vegans can't have ANY dairy products.
Peck the Rooster
Cake?
Pig the Pig
Cake has egg products...
Pip the Mouse
But you can't have any dairy!
Freddy the Ferret
No dairy? But I LOVE dairy! Does that mean I can't be a vegan?
Pig the Pig
I love the smell of bacon! There, I said it.
[the animals all gasp as the farmer awakens and reacts. Miles kicks him in the head a second time]
Otis the Cow
WOULD YOU NOT DO THAT?
Miles the Mule
It's not like we have a lot of options.
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Dag the Coyote
See ya around. Get it? "Round"? You're fat.
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Ben the Cow
Grey market goods. As if I needed to say it again, the purchase of human articles from the gopher underground is strictly prohibited.
[start to play the Motorola tune, Otis coyly answers]
Gopher
Hey, Otis!
[giggles]
Gopher
Listen, I think your Nikes are...
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Ben the Cow
Put the hen down, Dag.
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Barn Boys
Now, every heifer, every cow, hold tight to your udders now/Farmer Brown is beddin' down, let's turn this barn to Funkytown/Chickens on the left, dance with your neighbor, Hogs, don't slobber on the pool table/Try to go easy on the manure, it's a dance floor, not a sewer
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Pip the Mouse
I got a pulse. Wheeee!
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Pig the Pig
[watching Daisy giving birth]
Man, that looks like it hurts.
Duke the Dog
Oh, that's very profound, 'Insight Man'.
Pig the Pig
Well excuse me for being a pig!
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Dag the Coyote
[after taking down Otis]
Well, look at the hero! You thought you could come into my den! Now, why don't you lay there and watch while we eat your friends.
[laughs evilly]
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Ben the Cow
Hello, son.
Otis the Cow
Dad, I've been thinking, and well I'm willing to accept your apology.
Otis the Cow
Sure, I mean it's only right. I mean... Okay. Uhh... I don't mean to let you down, Pop. I'm just out trying to have some fun.
Ben the Cow
[looking up at the stars]
It's a beautiful night. I remember when I used to sit out here with your sister.
Otis the Cow
I don't have a sister.
Ben the Cow
Oh, yeah.
[Rubbing Otis' head]
Ben the Cow
That was you, wasn't it?
[They both laugh]
Otis the Cow
Thank you, all right. So. Are we okay?
Otis the Cow
Great. See, 'Cause I wanted to ask you something. Uh, my friends are all going to the barn tonight, and not that it matters either way to me, but evidently, I'm needed. I'm sort of an integral part of a musical number.
[Puts jar of fireflies on his head]
Otis the Cow
Yeah, I tried to tell them no, you know? But they were just so.. Yeah, I told them... I told, my dad's not going to want to cover my shift I mean it's my shift, not his. It isn't his! You know? I don't want to be selfish. What's mine is mine, and... What do you think?
Ben the Cow
Otis. I never thought I was going to amount to much. And I certainly didn't think I'd be in charge of anything. But that all changed one day. It was the day you showed up. I head out into the meadow and I see this little baby calf all alone, stumbling around. You know, before you became a nightmare. Well, I took you home that night, and I know it doesn't sound possible, but I looked up into the sky and I would have swore I saw the stars dance. At that moment, I knew my place was here, taking care of things. I guess you helped me realize that. I love you, son. You still want to go don't you?
Otis the Cow
Yeah, I really do. Uh, not that your stuff... . Y-You know, the stuff you're saying isn't nifty and everything...
Ben the Cow
No one says nifty.
Otis the Cow
I say nifty, I do and sometimes even swifty I'll stay that
Ben the Cow
Very impressive. Go ahead, have fun. I'll cover your shift.
Otis the Cow
Thanks, Pop. You're the best.
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[Miles kicks the farmer in the face with his leg]
Otis the Cow
What did you do that for?
Miles the Mule
What else was I gonna do? He saw you.
Otis the Cow
You coulda killed him!
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Mrs. Beady
[Sees her car on the news]
It's our car! There was a huff. There's a cow in our car that is a hoof!
[Dials 911]
Mrs. Beady
Yes, this is Nora Beady. What do you mean what now? My car is on TV and I think there's a cow in it, and I saw a cow outside my window. I think they may be linked.
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Dag the Coyote
[grabs a hen and shushes her, turns around]
Good evening, ladies. Sorry to call on you so late in the evening, but we did have a previous engagement.
[laughs evilly and takes out a chicken feet keychains]
Dag the Coyote
Now we're gonna take 6 of you. Anyone makes a sound, we don't mind the extra company.
[turns to his coyotes]
Dag the Coyote
Boys, take your pick.
Etta the Hen
You won't be taking any hens tonight.
Dag the Coyote
[growls at Etta]
And you're gonna stop us? Hmm? Is that what's gonna happen? Are you gonna stop us, hen? How are you gonna do that, huh?
[laughs evilly]
Etta the Hen
No. *He* is.
[points at Ben]
Dag the Coyote
[turns his head to find Ben]
Ben. How are you, Ben? Yeah, we would've said hello had we seen ya.
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Eddy the Cow
[Otis and the Jersey cows are running from the cops]
Two all-beef patties! That's our future!
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Mrs. Beady
Nathan Randall the third, I am not crazy, I am medicated for a chemical imbalance, don't you sit there and think that I am crazy.
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Freddy the Ferret
Yeah, hi. Hey there. Having a good day? So, uh, this was Otis' idea?
Peck the Rooster
Oh, yeah. We're like the second line of defense. We see or hear anything suspicious, and I just signal Otis with a crow. Oh, oh, and I've really been working on it. Listen.
[he clears his throat, then crows weakly for much longer, then squeaks]
Peck the Rooster
Well, you-you know, in the moment, it'll be really strong. But for now, we just stand watch.
Freddy the Ferret
Yeah, watch.
[Freddy has a vision, the hens turn into rotisserie-style whole chicken meats]
Freddy the Ferret
[vision]
Come and get it!
[dings the triangle]
Freddy the Ferret
[the camera zooms back into reality]
Peck the Rooster
Freddy? You okay?
Freddy the Ferret
BONELESS WHITE MEAT! What? I'm not hungry! I mean, I don't wanna eat anyone... thing... you... uh...
[slaps himself in the face]
Freddy the Ferret
What happened? What? What, what?
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Pip the Mouse
Shotgun!
Pig the Pig
Piggyback!
Peck the Rooster
Never! You are all gonna die.
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Dag the Coyote
I love chicken. My favorite part is the skin.
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Duke the Dog
Order, here! Hey, am I bothering you? Let's get this meeting started.
Peck the Rooster
Duke, who's gonna run the meeting?
Duke the Dog
That's what the meeting's about.
Freddy the Ferret
The meeting's about finding someone to run the meeting? Is that a good idea?
Pip the Mouse
We should take a meeting about it.
Duke the Dog
Someone has to do this. We don't have Ben. Therefore, I would like to nominate myself.
[the others begin expressing their disdain]
Duke the Dog
Dogs are... Listen to me. Dogs are watchful, they're loyal, and very protective.
Pip the Mouse
And they lick themselves. I don't a leader who licks himself.
Peck the Rooster
Me neither.
Pig the Pig
I can't even reach mine.
Duke the Dog
I don't do that.
[Awkward silence]
Duke the Dog
Anymore. One time, I was bored, lonely and a little snacknish.
Pig the Pig
Yeah, I saw you drink out of a toilet once.
[in sing-song voice]
Pig the Pig
Hey, you drink potty water!
Peck the Rooster
Peck the Rooster, Freddy the Ferret, Pip the Mouse, Pig the Pig: You drink potty water!
Duke the Dog
My bowl was empty, my friend. Come on, we're getting off track here.
Miles the Mule
Duke, with all respect, I think there are certain traits that would make you unqualified to be leader.
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Nora Beady
Nathan Randall the Third, *I* am not crazy!
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Mrs. Beady
Randall, There is a cow outside!
Mr. Beady
It's a cow farm, Your gonna find cows outside!
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