Grandpa Gustafson
What the... what the hell is this?
John Gustafson
That's lite beer.
Grandpa Gustafson
Gee, I weigh ninety goddamn pounds, and you bring me this sloppin' foam?
John Gustafson
Ariel's got me on a diet because the doc said my cholestorol's a little too high.
Grandpa Gustafson
Well, let me tell you something now, Johnny. Last Thursday, I turned 95 years old. And I never exercised a day in my life. Every morning, I wake up and I smoke a cigarette. And then I eat five strips of bacon. And for lunch, I eat a bacon sandwich. And for a midday snack?
John Gustafson
Bacon.
Grandpa Gustafson
Bacon! A whole damn plate! And I usually drink my dinner. Now, according to all of them flat-belly experts, I should've took a dirt nap like thirty years ago. But each year comes and goes, and I'm still here. Ha! And they keep dyin'. You know? Sometimes I wonder if God forgot about me. Just goes to show you, huh?
John Gustafson
What?
Grandpa Gustafson
Huh?
John Gustafson
Goes to show you what?
Grandpa Gustafson
Well, it just goes... what the hell are you talkin' about?
John Gustafson
Well, you said you drink beer, you eat bacon, and you smoke cigarettes, and you outlive most of the experts.
Grandpa Gustafson
Yeah?
John Gustafson
I thought maybe there's a moral.
Grandpa Gustafson
No, there ain't no moral. I just like that story. That's all. I like that story.