No Strings Attached Movie Quotes
Adam
I'm warning you, if you take one step closer, I'm never letting you go.
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Adam
Hey, you can't call me and tell me that you miss me. I don't want to have that conversation on the phone. So you can't text me and you can't e-mail me and you can't write on my wall. Like, if you really miss me, you need to grow up and get in your car and come and see me.
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Emma
I made you a Valentine's Day card.
Adam
What?
[laughs]
Adam
It's perfect. Will you read it for me?
Adam
I'm assuming that's a good thing.
Emma
You make my heart skip a beat.
Adam
Aww.
Emma
Don't make fun of me!
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Alvin
We don't get to pick who we fall in love with, and it doesn't happen like it should.
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Emma
I can't stop thinking about him.
Katie
Who? Adam?
Emma
Yeah. I know it's over and I'm looking. It's just that no one is as.
Emma
He's so tall.
Katie
So tall.
Emma
And he's so, like.
Katie
Happy?
Emma
Annoyingly happy, all the time. But he has this.
[pauses]
Emma
He has the best heart.
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Patrice
It's like a crime scene in my pants.
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Emma
Hi. It's Emma Kurtzman from Camp Weehawken.
Adam
Yes. What is it?
Emma
So my sister's getting married in Santa Barbara tomorrow and, I don't know. I heard your show was tonight. Congratulations.
Adam
Thank you.
Emma
I know this is random. I just, um, I miss you. I miss you so much.
Adam
Ok. I don't know what to say. You're calling me because you're at your sister's wedding and she looks happy and everyone is happy and you're not
Emma
I thought.
[pauses]
Emma
I don't know what I thought. I guess I wanted to hear your voice. I mean, I know we broke up but.
Adam
[interrupts]
Emma. We didn't break up. We never started. Look, I gotta go. I'm still at work. Have fun at the wedding and tell your sister congratulations for me. Bye.
[hangs up]
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Adam
What?
Emma
We fell asleep and we were spooning.
Adam
We were?
Emma
Yeah. And we were spooning with our clothes on which is like 10 times worse.
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Eli
[banging his left fist on Adam's door]
I can't focus on my porn with all this real sex going on around me!
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Emma
This isn't really my place. I mean, who am I? I just have sex with your son sometimes.
Adam
Yes she does!
Emma
But, there is really no reason for you to bring a child into this world since you're acting like children already.
Vanessa
That was really mean.
Emma
Yeah, I'm mean. But you're fucking crazy. Because given the choice between Adam and his dad. Given the choice between Adam and anyone, really, I'd choose Adam. Every time.
[to Adam]
Emma
Do you want to get out of here?
Adam
Yeah. Fuck this.
Emma
Oh, by the way. It's the best sex of my life.
[yells]
Emma
Great Scott!
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Emma
Taxi!
[gets in car]
Emma
Take me to Adam's house!
Taxi Driver
Okay, ma'am, where's that?
Emma
Where Adam lives!
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Adam
I understand what's going on. You're all on the same cycle. This is very exciting. Your uterine walls will be shedding for the next three to five days.
Shira
Nice memorization. Did you Google that?
Adam
I may have. Because you're women. And I think that's a beautiful thing. Oh...
[takes out a CD]
Adam
I also made you this.
[hands it to Emma]
Adam
To help soothe your womb.
Patrice
It's a mix!..."Even Flow." "Red, Red Wine."
Shira
"Sunday Bloody Sunday"?
Emma
Adam. You made me... a period mix?
Guy
That's so romantic!
Patrice
Frank Sinatra, "I've Got the World on a String"!
Adam
It's a classic.
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Emma
Do you wanna do this?
Adam
Do what?
Emma
Use each other for sex, at all hours of the day and night. Nothing else.
Adam
Yeah, I could do that.
Emma
Good. It's gonna be fun.
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Shira
We're sluts, Emma! We're dirty dirty sluts!
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Eli
I'm not saying Alvin and I did mushrooms together, but I'm not prepared to say we didn't.
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Emma
Yeah, he was with a girl. It's his girlfriend. And I was in a bush.
Katie
Oh crap.
[pauses]
Katie
Are you still there?
Katie
Okay, get in your car and drive away. How much money do you have on you?
Emma
Uh, like 10 bucks.
Katie
Okay, the box of 50 doughnut holes is $5.79. You're gonna need two boxes.
Katie
I'm so sorry. I love you.
Emma
I know.
[hangs up]
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Adam
So, what's up with not calling me back?
Emma
I'm not good at this stuff.
Adam
At what? Talking?
Emma
Yeah, talking. Communicating. Relationship stuff. If we were in a relationship I would become a weird scary version of myself. My throat starts constricting. The walls start throbbing. It's like a peanut allergy, like an emotional peanut allergy.
Adam
Well, I can't date you either. You're not my dad's type.
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Emma
Ring ring! It's the pumpkin patch. They want their pumpkins back!
Lisa
We're not pumpkins!
Joy
We're ladies!
Emma
But you're so orange!
[Adam tries carrying Emma inside]
Emma
Hey! Someone call Charlie Brown! We found the Great Pumpkin!
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Shira
God, I am single as fuck.
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Emma
Adam, you're wonderful. If you're lucky you're never gonna see me again.
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Adam
You're crazy. I felt like Flava-Flav.
Emma
I can't believe you chose those girls.
Adam
You jealous?
Emma
Don't do that. Don't just disappear like that on me.
Adam
You told me to.
Emma
You shouldn't listen to me.
Adam
Alright, I won't.
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Adam
You're fucking my ex-girlfriend?
Alvin
Well, yeah. But... She's just so hot.
Adam
I know how hot she is.
Adam
Fuck you!
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Sandra Kurtzman
You know I worry about you sometimes.
Emma
Why? Is this about me not having a date?
Sandra Kurtzman
No, I know you can dance alone. I know that you'll be fine. You're always fine.
Emma
So?
Sandra Kurtzman
I don't know. When we lost your father I couldn't stand to see you in pain and I think you knew that. I think that you got good at being strong for me.
[pauses]
Sandra Kurtzman
I'm telling you be hurt. I can take it. The world can take it.
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Emma
The height difference! When we stand next to each other it looks like he's kidnapping me.
Patrice
You always do this. You always find something wrong with everybody who likes you. And I date guys who have real problems. I date guys who steal my credit card and then they tell me it's my fault because I left it out. You find these perfect guys and then you're like, it will never work he's too happy.
Emma
What's up, Dr. Metzner!
[shocked]
Emma
Did I just say what's up to Steven Metzner?
Patrice
That was really hard to watch.
Emma
Look I know I'm supposed to want to be in a relationship, but I just end up with a broken heart and a bunch of his old t-shirts.
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Emma
I think monogamy goes against our basic biology.
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Emma
Congrats? For what, having sex with you?
Adam
You did a good job, so... I thought you deserved a balloon.
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Alvin
When you're married and you do blow, try to stay away from women who want to fuck you. Even ugly women. Blow is blind, Adam. Blow is blind.
Adam
You're an asshole.
Alvin
But you're not. You got a good heart, Adam. Try to keep it.
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Guy
I love it when we're all on the same cycle. We all get to be passive-aggressive and fight.
Patrice
You are not even a woman.
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Shira
[to Emma]
Can I say something? And don't take this the wrong way because you know I'll be your friend no matter what. You've been kind of depressing to be around lately and I might start avoiding you in the hallway. Just thought you should know.
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Emma
I'm going to start peeing with the door open, it's going to get weird.
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Lucy
So then when I was, like, 11 I was in therapy because I was, like, obsessively biting my hair and then three months in my therapist died. I know! So that was, like, kind of a bummer. But yeah, that's why I hate planes.
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Emma
Don't list me as your emergency contact. I won't come.
Adam
Isn't that against your Hypocratic Oath?
Emma
Yeah. I'd let you die!
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Adam
My dad invited me to dinner and he's bringing Vanessa. You have to come with me.
Emma
No, I don't. I just worked 14 hours. I'm not gonna meet your parents.
Adam
You know what? Just help me. These are really powerful painkillers. I can't feel anything.
Adam
Yeah. I felt that.
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Adam
You eat like a baby dinosaur; you don't even chew.
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Emma
I know...
Adam
No, do not call me to say you miss me. Do not text me, do not e-mail me... do not write it on my wall! If you really miss me, come here and tell me that!
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Eli
You know what the best part about my gay dads is?
Adam
What?
Eli
They're never gonna eat out my ex-girlfriends.
Wallace
You and your dad are tunnel buddies, huh?
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Emma
You look like a pumpkin, bitch!
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Young Adam
So, I'm pretty good at archery.
Young Emma
That'll be useful if you ever have a time machine and your time machine breaks and you're stuck in the Medieval Ages.
Young Adam
You're funny, it's weird.
Young Emma
Yeah. I'm weird.
Young Adam
Me too.
Young Emma
Yeah, well everyone loves you and your dad's like famous or something.
Young Adam
My parents are getting a divorce. That's why I had to go to camp.
[cries]
Young Emma
Are you crying?
Young Adam
No.
Young Emma
Look, I'm not really an affectionate person. People aren't meant to be together forever.
Young Adam
You think so?
Young Emma
Yeah.
Young Adam
Can I finger you?
Young Emma
No.
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Adam
I'm cumming... Uh! Fuck!
[Adam comes on Emma's face]
Emma
Did you just cum at me?
Adam
I thought you just said it.
Emma
Hmm... These glasses must be really good then.
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Emma
People aren't meant to be together forever.
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Adam
Hey!
Emma
What?
Adam
Thank you for what you did back at the restaurant.
Adam
Go on a date with me.
Emma
You're heavily sedated.
Adam
Come on, it's... It's one date. Just do it.
Emma
Why? So I can wear make up and act perfect all night?
Adam
Yeah. I'll pick you up, and we can talk about our favorite books and our favorite TV shows. I'll pay for everything and you can reward me with an over-the-jeans cock rub. Like a real date.
Emma
Is that really what you want?
Adam
This Friday.
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Emma
Dr. Metzner? Adam, what's going on? What happened?
Dr. Metzner
He sprained his wrist punching a wall.
Emma
You texted me that you were dying.
Adam
It really hurt.
Dr. Metzner
I gave him some Hyrdocodone for the night. It's a very strong painkiller. You might want to have Dr. Kurtzman here drive you home. And here is a prescription for an anti-inflammatory.
[hands to Emma]
Dr. Metzner
Don't worry, you're in good hands. Your girlfriend here is a very talented doctor.
Emma
No! I'm not his girlfriend.
Adam
She is not my girlfriend.
Dr. Metzner
Oh sorry. I saw that he listed you as an emergency contact. My mistake. Oh by the way, I enjoyed your dad's TV show. Great Scott! It's funny stuff.
Adam
I'll tell him you said that.
[pops pill]
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Emma
I'm Emma Kurtzman. You tried to finger me!
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Adam
You know, I don't want to freak you out, but I'd love to hang out with you in the daytime sometime.
Emma
It's not really possible. I have no time. I work 80 hours a week doing 36-hour shifts. What I need is someone who's going to be in my bed in 2 a.m. who I don't have to lie to or eat breakfast with.
Adam
I hate breakfast.
Emma
Do you want to do this?
Adam
Do what?
Emma
Use each other for sex at all hours of the day and night, nothing else.
Emma
Good.
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Lucy
Fuck you, Chuck! You're very talented, but fuck you!
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Katie
Mom is so excited. She was like screaming and crying last night! Oh, and she's going to fly down with Bones and help me shop for the dress.
Katie
He's mom's friend. I wasn't supposed to tell you about him.
Emma
She has a boyfriend named Bones? What is he a drifter?
Katie
No!
Emma
Why didn't she tell me?
Katie
Emma, you're so good at being alone. Mom and I aren't like that.
Emma
What's that supposed to mean?
Katie
Just, it's true.
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Eli
Who do you think you are, the old guy from "Up"?
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Wallace
Look at my face.
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Emma
Yeah, I stuck it in.
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Patrice
Don't worry, we're all doctors here, so we've seen plenty of penises.
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Alvin
How long have you two been together?
Emma
Oh, we're not.
Adam
We're sex friends.
Emma
Yes we are.
Adam
Friends with benefits. Fuck buddies.
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Alvin
Come on. Hit me!
Adam
What? No. I'm not going to hit you. I don't want to hurt you.
Alvin
You're not going to hurt me. Come on!
[flexes]
Alvin
Come on, quick before I get a hernia!
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Alvin
Let's smoke some weed!
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Shira
Thank you!
Adam
Normally I would remember the name of someone that I've
Guy
Hey Adam. You left your socks in my room.
Adam
Did I?
Guy
You did.
Adam
Did I, by chance, leave my pants in your room?
Guy
No. When we met you weren't wearing pants.
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Katie
Oh.
Emma
Yeah.
Katie
Crap. Are you still there?
Emma
Yeah.
Katie
Okay, get in your car, and drive away. And how much money do you have on your?
Katie
Okay. The box of 50 Doughnut Holes is $5.79... and you're gonna need two boxes.
Katie
I'm so sorry.
Emma
Yeah.
Katie
I love you.
Emma
I know.
[sobbing, call ends]
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Lucy
Oh, my God. This is happening. Is this really happening? Oh, my God. You're touching me. This is so happening.
Adam
Maybe we don't need to talk about everything.
Lucy
Oh. Okay, great. Okay. Cool. Wait. Are you sure that you want to do this, though?
Adam
Yes. Yeah.
Lucy
Okay, 'cause, like, we can just talk about it, if you want...
Adam
Let's *not* talk about it.
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Eli
I'd have sex with a pioneer, for sure.
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Sandra Kurtzman
[Bones snoring in the backseat] He's an amazing lover.
Emma
Oh, boy.
Sandra Kurtzman
That's - why they call him Bones.
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Wallace
It reminded me of my senior prom. I got a hand job on the dance floor to "Who Let The Dogs Out."
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Vanessa
I don't want to have kids. I want to have fun.
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Adam
Don't take this the wrong way, but you're a *terrible* person.
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Lucy
Oh, okay. Okay. Wait. Should I take my shirt off, or do you want to - do you want to take it off yourself?
Adam
I'll take it off.
Lucy
You know what? I'll take it off. I'll take it off. Okay. Glad I wore a good bra.
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Alvin
So... Are you having sex?
[hands marijuana to Adam]
Adam
Yes. I'm having sex.
Alvin
'Cause if you want any pointers, you know... I can help you out. If there's one thing you learn after two failed marriages, it's how to eat kitty. Anyone special?
Adam
No. I mean, not since Vanessa.
Alvin
It's been a year. It's time to move on.
Adam
It's been eight months, Dad.
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Lisa
She is so good at impressions.
Adam
Do an impression, then.
Lisa
Yes, do an impression then.
Joy
All right, guess who this is.
[Joy sucks in her lips]
Joy
Dad!
[she sucks in her lips again]
Joy
Dad!
Lisa
Oh my God, that's so cute.
Adam
I don't know.
Lisa
Come on.
Joy
Where are you?
Adam
I don't know.
Joy
Where are you, Dad?
[Wallace walks over]
Wallace
It's Nemo.
Lisa
Yes!
Joy
Yeah.
Adam
Nemo.
Lisa
Amazing.
Adam
I don't know why I didn't get that. How did you know that?
Wallace
'Cause I've seen it a thousand times. That's how.
Lisa
Mmmm. Drew Barrymore.
Joy
I don't know if I'm drunk enough.
Lisa
Come on.
Adam
You can't do Drew Barrymore.
Wallace
Oh, but she can.
[normal voice]
Joy
That's it. That's all I have.
Adam
That was kind of an amazing Drew Barrymore.
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Joy
What's going on?
Adam
This is Joy.
Joy
I'm Joy. Hi.
Emma
Good for you.
Lisa
Adam?
Adam
And this is Lisa.
Emma
You are such an overachiever.
Adam
Thank you.
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Adam
I'm gonna call every girl in my phone until someone agrees to have sex with me.
Wallace
That's strong. Toast to that.
Eli
Toast. That is a terrible, self-destructive plan, and we're behind you a hundred percent.
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Adam
Hey.
Man with Dog
Hey.
Adam
We're sex friends. Just friends who have sex.
Man with Dog
That's not possible.
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Adam
So, what's up with not calling me back?
Emma
I'm not good at this stuff.
Adam
At what? Talking?
Emma
Yeah, talking, communicating, relationship stuff. It's just... This is... If we were in a relationship, I'd become a weird, scary version of myself, and...
[shakes her head]
Emma
My throat starts constricting, the walls start throbbing. It's like a peanut allergy, like... an emotional peanut allergy.
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Eli
Ten years from now you're gonna be having sex with your wife. And it's gonna be in the missionary position. And one of you is going to be asleep.
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Emma
I'll be gone for like, an hour... I'm just getting some... Yogurt.
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Shira
You bringing Adam to the Christmas party tonight?
Emma
No. Things were getting too intense so we decided not to see each other until we hook up with other people.
Shira
Okay. Yes. Good! We are getting laid tonight. This is going to be like Sideways only you're Paul Giamatti and I'm the guy who gets laid.
Emma
I can't get laid?
Shira
No. Tonight is about me, Emma. I'm feeling hot. I'm feeling good. I'm wearing bikini bottoms because my other underwear is dirty. Alright, we're hot. You feel hot?
Shira
We're sluts, Emma. We're dirty, dirty sluts!
Emma
Okay.
Shira
Remember, we're sluts!
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Lucy
That was such a fail on my part.
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Lucy
Chuck! If I catch you taking pictures of your dick one more time I'm taking that thing away.
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Patrice
This is a frat party. You just have to be drunk and look hot. Watch and learn.
[gets on table and yells to the whole party]
Patrice
Hey! Hey! I'm so drunk!
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Adam
Don't call my penis cute. Even if it's dressed up as a Care Bear and it's giving you a care stare.
Emma
Don't dress up your penis. Ever!
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Adam
So, did I just pass out on your couch?
Emma
No. Then you did this thing. It was like, a dance?
Adam
Dance?
Emma
Yeah, like...
[impersonates Adam's dance]
Adam
I shook my dick at you?
Emma
Yeah.
Adam
Oh, shit. I'm sorry.
Emma
No, no. It was exciting. It was like, you were cheering while you were doing it. You were like, "Look at my dick!"
Adam
Did you look at it?
Emma
Yeah, I looked. It was nice. You have a really nice penis.
Adam
Nice?
Emma
Seems kind of like carefree.
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Adam
Did you look at it?
Emma
Yeah. I looked. It was nice. You have a really nice penis.
Adam
Nice?
Emma
It seems kind of, like, carefree.
Adam
Yeah?
Emma
Yeah.
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Adam
Hey, I was wondering - do you have someplace I could put my boner?
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Eli
She just texted him, "Where are you?"
Wallace
Oh, she wants the dick.
Eli
Adam, you want to come back strong here. Go from a position of power. Something like, "Where am I? Why don't you check your underpants."
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Wallace
Did you fuck Emma and then bring her a balloon?
Adam
What?
[to Eli]
Adam
Did you tell him?
Eli
No! Yes!
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Eli
It's after 10pm. Come on, the "Where are you?" text is like saying: "Hey, I want to have sex with you, but I just need to know how drunk you are."
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Emma
[in bed, naked, after sex] There were so many interesting things going on.
Adam
Yeah.
Emma
That flippy thing, what was that?
Adam
Sure, I just, I don't know, I had an idea, I just went with it.
Emma
That was a really good call.
Adam
Thank you.
Emma
We probably shouldn't snuggle.
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Alvin
[singing] I'm so happy, To be your Pappy...
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Emma
[drunk, at a Christmas party] Hi. I'm Emma Kurtzman. I've been ho-ho-hoping that I'd get the chance to talk to you.
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Emma
Go hook up with someone else.
Adam
Are you serious?
Emma
Yeah. Go. Go to the nearest bar and have sex with a stranger.
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Katie
Are you there? You're not there, are you?
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Adam
Well, this hole's a little bit more complicated. You're gonna have to bank it off there. It's all about the geometry.
Emma
I'm a doctor.
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Emma
You know me. This stuff freaks me out.
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Adam
How drunk was Megan? She tried to hump my leg.
Lucy
You have no idea. You have no idea, the stories that I could tell you.
Adam
No, she really tried to like mount it.
Lucy
Yeah, I know.
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Wallace
Why are you not trying to fuck that girl?
Eli
Yeah. Yeah, she's crazy hot, Adam. She's like a sexy scientist.
Wallace
You need to go over there, man up, you need to go for it. We're counting on you here, man. Man up, man!
Eli
Man up.
Wallace
Go for it! Man up!
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Vanessa
Don't freak out, okay? Your dad overdosed on cough syrup.
Adam
He what?
Vanessa
The Purple Drank.
Adam
"The Purple Drank"?
Vanessa
It's Seven-Up, cough syrup, and a Jolly Rancher.
Adam
Why would he do that, Vanessa?
Vanessa
Because he loves Lil Wayne, okay? You don't know everything about your dad.
Adam
Why are you making him listen to Lil Wayne?
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Emma
[crying and singing with a mouth full of donut holes] I keep bleedin', I keep, keep bleedin'...
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Alvin
I really don't like the Little Wayne. Can't understand what he's saying.
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Alvin
I've got six pictures of my cock on my phone, and two of someone else's, and I'm still pretty high on the cough syrup, so you can take this with a grain of salt, but - we don't pick who we fall in love with. And it never happens like it should.
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Emma
So, what happens now?
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Adam
You really think she's just using him for his car?
Eli
No, Adam, I don't. I think he wants to fuck her in his Prius. And the thing about fucking in a Prius is that you don't have to feel guilty afterwards.
Adam
'Cause of the carbon footprint.
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Alvin
Check it out. Vinyasa yoga and the Army Ranger workout. I combined them!
Adam
Wow. That's very impressive.
Alvin
I'm gonna do a video, I think. Vinyasa Power..
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Adam
Sari, I told you to play hard to get.
Sari
I'm incredibly easy to get!
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Wallace
She chose your dad over you, man. That's like trading an iPod for a 8-track.
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Lucy
Wait, wait, wait. Fuck, fuckety-fuck. What was it? Stop. You wanted to know if you could get off early?
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Bar Group
[singing] If you're havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son, I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one...
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Adam
Did I have sex with anyone in this apartment last night?
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Adam
That's funny. Let's make fun of the hung-over naked guy.
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Emma
That would be bad. Condom? Condom! Condom. Okay. Got it!
Adam
Got it.
Emma
Hurry! You need help?
Adam
I got it. Here we go! Let's, oh, you got your...
Emma
Yep.
Adam
Let me just,..
[pulls down Emma's panties]
Emma
Ah. Ah. Ah. Ahh. Ah. Ah. Mmm. Ah-ah. Yeah.
Adam
We're having sex.
Emma
I know.
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Eli
You know, you shouldn't have gotten her a balloon actually. Who do you think you are, the old guy from "Up"?
Adam
You told me to get her a balloon.
Eli
Well, I didn't think you'd actually do it.
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Emma
[wearing a lab coat] Does your insurance cover invasive procedures?
Adam
[lying naked on an examination table] Okay. Okay, this is getting a little too realistic.
Emma
[whispers] Trust me.
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Wallace
I like to be kind of scary. Like, "Boo! Here comes my dick."
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Adam
[after eating fast food] I have to say, this is probably the best birthday dinner ever.
Emma
I wanted to make it special.
Adam
Yeah? Where's the cake?
Emma
That comes later, baby.
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Alvin
So, all is forgiven?
Adam
No. *Nothing* is forgiven.
Alvin
Adam, don't you think it's been weird for me, too? Knowing that - my own son had sex with *my* girlfriend? But I got over it. You should, too.
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Adam
What are you gonna do? You're never gonna feel anything? How you gonna do that?
Emma
I don't know. I'll figure it out.
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Lucy
Honestly, like, I didn't think that you could write, mainly 'cause you're just - so beautiful. Seriously, it's distracting for me.
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Adam
You can't fight me, you're miniature. You're like a girl Rick Moranis. You fight like a hamster.
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Emma
I don't need you to take care of me. I take care of myself. That's what I do.
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Lucy
I told her she'd be crazy to not like it. But then again, she is a functioning psychotic, so it's like, who knows?
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Vanessa
[to Adam]
I know this might be hard, but just because I'm your ex-girlfriend, doesn't mean that you can't look at me as... a kind of... mum?
Emma
Oh, boy.
Vanessa
Especially because, well... Alvin and I have been talking about...
[reverently:]
Vanessa
creating new life... together.
Alvin
You see, we were at... Burning Man.
Vanessa
And we were dressed up.
Alvin
Yeah. I was dressed as a... fire bird.
Vanessa
I was naked. And we were just out there in the desert... and... and he was burying my bare body in the sand.
Alvin
Yeah, and I was pecking at it... with my fire bird.
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Lisa
[after Joy does her impersonations]
Oh, my God, Joy. I love you so much.
Joy
You do?
Lisa
Yeah...
Joy
Lisa... I love you.
[as Adam looks from one to the other, taking a sip straight from the bottle]
Joy
Wait. I'm seriously in love with you.
Lisa
Wait.
[leaning forward over Adam's lap]
Lisa
Why didn't you tell me sooner?
Joy
I didn't have the courage.
Lisa
Oh, my God. This is amazing.
[giggles, as Adam doesn't know where to look]
Joy
God, you look so beautiful.
Lisa
And your eyes are so pretty.
[Adam and Wallace share a bemused look]
Joy
Have you got-?
Lisa
Let's do this.
Joy
Wallace, could you take a picture of this?
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Sam
I'm the guy she marries, Adam. You're the guy she fucked a couple of times in the handicapped bathroom.
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Shira
I just pulled a penis out of a Vitamin Water yesterday, so we are cool with penises here.
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Eli
Hey!
Patrice
Did we? Yes, we did. We went to college together. You have two gay dads.
Eli
Yeah, I'm the man with the two gay dads.
Patrice
They helped me move my boxes sophomore year.
Eli
They're the best. I love them. I'm super straight, though.
Patrice
Okay.
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Emma
You want to go with me to this stupid thing?
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