The Dead Pool Movie Quotes
Harry Callahan
Well, opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one.
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Gunman #1
[confused, yells]
What?
Harry Callahan
It says...
[pauses]
Harry Callahan
"You're shit outta luck!"
[Harry shoots him]
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Harry Callahan
You're out of bullets. And you know what that means... you're shit outta luck.
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Harry Callahan
Do you have any kids, lieutenant?
Lt. Ackerman
Me? No.
Harry Callahan
Lucky for them.
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Harry Callahan
Fuck with me, buddy, I'll kick your ass so hard you'll have to unbutton your collar to shit.
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Peter Swan
Do you mind, gentlemen? I happen to be at a funeral.
Harry Callahan
Like to talk to you about your list.
Peter Swan
It's no big secret. Most of the cast and crew knew about it. I didn't tell you because the dead pool is just a harmless game.
Harry Callahan
Sounds pretty sick to me.
Peter Swan
Let me tell you something, Callahan. People... people are fascinated with death and violence. That's why my films make money. They're an escape, a vicarious release of fear. Same thing with this game. Nobody takes my films *or* the dead pool seriously.
Harry Callahan
Well, someone gave Squares the drugs that killed him - maybe it was you.
Peter Swan
You can't tie me into Johnny's death just because of a coincidence. My assistant and my effects supervisor were playing the game too, why don't you talk to them?
Harry Callahan
Oh, we will - but nobody on their list is dead yet.
Peter Swan
Hey, look, Callahan, Johnny was a major drugs user, and I predicted he'd die this year, but that's all I did. Don't you get it? The whole idea is to pick celebrities who aren't going to make it, because they're old, or because they're sick or because they're in a high-risk profession.
Harry Callahan
Like police work?
Peter Swan
Nothing personal, love.
Harry Callahan
I don't like your list, Swan. I don't like being on it.
Peter Swan
Ah, that's, that's what this is really all about, isn't it? Well, if you got a charge to make...
Harry Callahan
Maybe I'll start my own dead pool, and put you on it.
Peter Swan
You threatening me?
Harry Callahan
You want to play the game, you'd better know the rules, love.
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Harry Callahan
Do you like cops?
Samantha Walker
As long as they're not in my rearview mirror.
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Harry Callahan
[points out the biggest, nastiest-looking guy in the prison to Janero]
See that gorilla down there? That's Butcher Hicks... and he's killed three men. You know how he did it? He tore 'em apart with his teeth! Didn't even find all the pieces... you might say he has an unhealthy appetite.
Lou Janero
[nervous, but trying not to show it]
So what?
Harry Callahan
So Hicks there is my new pen pal. I'm going to be sending him a letter once a week, and I'm going to be telling him how I'm gonna be looking in on his sick mother, and how I'm trying to get him special privileges here at the prison. And you know what's the interesting part? The interesting part is if anything happens to me, and Hicks doesn't get his letter, he's going to be really pissed off, and he's going to come down here and see you because you're the mail man. In fact he'll probably come down here to this post office and cancel your ass like a stamp. So you'd better ensure prompt, courteous delivery, and pray that nothing happens to me.
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Insp. Al Quan
It's like I was telling you, Harry. Celebrities, they always die in...
Harry Callahan
...in threes.
Insp. Al Quan
At least the guy went out with...
Harry Callahan
...a bang. Yeah, I know.
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Butcher Hicks
[Harry pays Hicks his box of smokes for just standing]
That's it?
Harry Callahan
That's it. Oh, you see that dirtbag I was talking to down there?
[points to Janero]
Harry Callahan
He says that smoking can cause cancer, and anyone who smokes as much as you do is one dumb son-of-a-bitch!
[Hicks growls menacingly and stares daggers at Janero who shuts himself back in his cell]
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Capt. Donnelly
13,453 dollars and 63 cents. That's how much an unmarked squad car costs this department. That's the third goddamned car you trashed this month.
Harry Callahan
Lou Janero.
Capt. Donnelly
What?
Harry Callahan
It's his men who shot up the car, why don't you send him the bill?
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Harry Callahan
[after partner karated a crook]
Well, personally I think teaming up with a Chinese American is good for the department's image.
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Harlan Rook
Now you've locked yourself in, asshole!
Harry Callahan
Yeah. Just you and me, asshole.
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Capt. Donnelly
Where's Rook?
Harry Callahan
He's hanging out back there.
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Capt. Donnelly
[with sheet of paper]
You know what this is, Callahan? It's a bill for a TV camera and lens. When I told you to stop wrecking our cars, I didn't mean go out and find something else to destroy!
Harry Callahan
They were interfering with an official investigation, Sir.
Lt. Ackerman
Don't give us that. Is this your idea of cooperation with the media?
Harry Callahan
Cooperation works two ways, Lieutenant.
Lt. Ackerman
Just what is it you have against reporters, Callahan?
Harry Callahan
Well some of them are just marvellous people. But others like to walk through a pile and track it through an investigation. I don't like that.
Lt. Ackerman
Well you'd better change your attitude fast, Callahan, because unless we come to some kind of an agreement with these people, it's just liable to cost this city two million dollars and your career!
[ushers in reporter]
Lt. Ackerman
Would you join us please? This is Miss Samantha Walker of Station KWSF. Captain Donnelly...
Capt. Donnelly
Miss Walker...
Samantha Walker
Captain...
Lt. Ackerman
And this is Inspector...
Samantha Walker
...Callahan. Yes, we've met.
Lt. Ackerman
Oh yes, of course. Will you sit down?
Samantha Walker
Oh, thank you.
Capt. Donnelly
Miss Walker, ah, Lt. Ackerman here tells me you have a proposal to make, er, regarding the accidental damage to a television camera.
Capt. Donnelly
Well, I think the department might have something else to say about that.
Samantha Walker
Well, although the camera itself was destroyed, I have the entire incident on video.
Capt. Donnelly
I see.
[glares at Callahan]
Capt. Donnelly
And your proposal?
Samantha Walker
We may be willing to drop the lawsuit against the city... but that all depends on Inspector Callahan.
Lt. Ackerman
Well I'm sure the Inspector would be more than willing to cooperate in any...
Harry Callahan
Just what do you have in mind?
Samantha Walker
Dinner.
[the men all stare at one other]
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Harry Callahan
She's right. Oh you can set yourself into a bonfire, we'll break out the marshmallows and the weenies, but you ain't gonna be on "News at Eleven".
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Harry Callahan
Oh you can set yourself into a bonfire and we'll break out the marshmallows and the weenies but you ain't gonna be on News at Eleven.
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Harry Callahan
Yeah, and I hope my last.
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Peter Swan
We don't do drugs, Callahan. We do film.
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Harlan Rook
Did you ever notice how time seems to slow down at night?
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Peter Swan
Don't worry, Johnny's like a trained seal. Throw him a fish, he'll perform.
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Molly Fisher
[Rook breaks into Fisher's home]
Please, whatever you want, money, credit cards, just take it!
Harlan Rook
You ever notice how time seems to slow down at night? Just like in my films. A dream world.
Molly Fisher
Please.
Harlan Rook
Shut up! I can't hear the colors. I've got to hear the colors. That's the mark of a good director. You've got to be able to hear the colors. You've got to be able to taste the sounds.
Molly Fisher
Please, I have a heart condition.
Harlan Rook
A critic with a heart, that's a laugh. Do you like my films?
Molly Fisher
What?
Harlan Rook
I said, do you like my films?
Molly Fisher
Who are you?
Molly Fisher
I don't. I don't know you.
Harlan Rook
God... What kind of a film critic are you? "Shadows of the Dead"! "Hell Without the Devil"! "Night of the Slasher"!
Molly Fisher
Peter Swan.
Harlan Rook
Brilliant, love. What do you think of my films? Give me your honest opinion.
Molly Fisher
I like them.
Harlan Rook
LIAR!
[kills Fisher]
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Harlan Rook
[after kidnapping Walker and holding her hostage at Swan's studio]
Yes. That's the shot I'm looking for.
Samantha Walker
What is it you want from me?
Harlan Rook
Oh, you've got it wrong, love. This is what you wanted - an exclusive interview.
Samantha Walker
But you're not Peter Swan.
Harlan Rook
Shut up! You don't know! You don't know! I know who I am. You know who you are? Do you?
Samantha Walker
Yes...
Harlan Rook
All those films he made, those are my nightmares, not his! Every night I dream, and somehow, somehow he reads my mind. He stole my thoughts. He put my thoughts on film for everyone to see and he takes all the credit! He can't get away with it. He has to pay.
[plays "Welcome to the Jungle" on his boombox]
Harlan Rook
He stole my nightmares and made them real, so I stole his dead pool. I'll play his game and make it real. Let him take the credit for that.
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[arguing with Johnny Squares]
Peter Swan
This is not a rip-off. It's an homage, you stupid...
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Insp. Al Quan
You know, Harry, they always die in threes.
Harry Callahan
Hmm?
Insp. Al Quan
Haven't you ever noticed? When one celebrity dies, two more always go in a week or two. Well it's a fact, Harry. Celebrities always die in threes.
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Suzanne Dayton
[hysterical with grief and restrained by uniformed officers]
No! No!
[Samantha and her camera crew surround Suzanne, the camera is inches from her face]
[Callahan, angry, wades into the melee]
Harry Callahan
Back off with that camera!
Samantha Walker
Hey! I can film whatever I want! Keep shooting!
Harry Callahan
I said knock the camera off...
[something unintelligible as he wrestles the camera away and hurls it as far as he can. It bounces down some steps and breaks apart]
Samantha Walker
Smart.
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Harry Callahan
Ed Butler may be an alias for Rook.
[gets in Capt. Donnelly's car]
Capt. Donnelly
[standing beside car holding car's radio microphone]
Harry, where are you going? Harry? Harry!
[the mike lead snaps as Callahan drives off]
Capt. Donnelly
That's my car!
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Gus Wheeler
[drenched in gasoline and with flare]
You all stay back! Everyone! It's gonna go up. Where's the news crew? You better get them here! I mean it, now!
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Harlan Rook
[while holding Samantha hostage, in his arm]
You let me down, "Mr. Famous Fuckin' Cop". You let Swan, get away!
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