The Wicker Man 2006 - Movie Quotes

Edward Malus [a helmet has been placed onto his head, and a villager approaches him with a basket] WH-WHAT IS THAT? WHAT IS THAT? WHAT IS IT?

[bees are poured into the helmet]

Edward Malus OH, NO, NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! AAAAAHHHHH! OH, THEY'RE IN MY EYES! MY EYES! AAAAHHHHH! AAAAAGGHHH!

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Edward Malus [holding Rowan's doll] Is this hers? How'd it get burned? How'd it get burned? HOW'D IT GET BURNED, HOW'D IT GET BURNED?

Sister Willow I... DON'T... KNOW!

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Edward Malus [before his legs are broken] THIS IS MURDER! *MURDER!* YOU'LL ALL BE *GUILTY!* AND YOU'RE DOING IT FOR *NOTHING!* KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GODDAMN HONEY!

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Edward Malus BITCHES! YOU BITCHES!

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Edward Malus [seeing some of the women holding a bloody bag] What's in the bag? A shark or something?

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Edward Malus [pointing gun at Rose] Step away from the bike!

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Edward Malus [waking up from the second dream in a row] Goddamn it!

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Edward Malus [38:16] You little liars. Rowan Woodward IS your classmate, isn't she? ISN'T SHE? That is HER desk! And you're the biggest liar of them all. I am warning you, you tell me another and I'll arrest you myself. That is a promise, MISS...

Sister Rose Rose, SISTER Rose.

Edward Malus Of course, another plant! Rose!

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Edward Malus [a cracking sound is heard] Ahhh, my legs!

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Edward Malus [showing his badge to a classroom of young girls] I'm a policeman. See my badge?

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Sister Rose And Daisy, will you tell us what man represents in his purest form?

[pause]

Sister Rose Yes?

Chorus of schoolgirls [whole classroom raises hands] Phallic symbol! Phallic symbol!

[Edward laughs awkwardly]

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Village Sister You wait a minute! Do you have permission to charge in and disturb...

Edward Malus No! I don't need anybody's goddamn permission! I'm gonna search every inch of this town and anybody who interferes will be brought up on murder charges, got that? You have my permission to stay out of the fucking way!

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Edward Malus [runs over to help Rowan and pulls off the mask of his bear costume] My name is Edward. I'm gonna save you.

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Edward Malus Whose desk is this?

[he opens up the desk and a raven suddenly flies out]

Edward Malus WHAT...?

School Girl #1 We trapped the little ol' bird inside to see how long he can stand it.

Edward Malus [to Sister Rose] Now why in the hell would you let them do a sick thing like that?

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Edward Malus Do you know her?

[holds up picture of Rowan]

Sister Oak Hm. I don't recognize this child. Do you, Violet?

Sister Violet No, can't say I do.

Edward Malus Just a tip there, it often helps to actually glance at the photo.

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Edward Malus [to the girl in his bear suit] DON'T BE FRIGHTENED! I'm here to help!

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Sister Summersisle They nearly had you.

Edward Malus Excuse me?

Sister Summersisle Our little friends, the bees. They almost did you in.

Edward Malus Yeah.

Sister Summersisle Pity.

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Edward Malus The name's Malus. Edward Malus. I'd just like a room and a meal. Can you swing it?

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Edward Malus What happened to her?

Sister Rose She'll burn to death.

Edward Malus Excuse me, what did you say?

Sister Rose Precisely what I meant to say: "She burned to death."

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[last lines]

Sister Honey When you go home, promise you'll take me with you?

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Edward Malus Okay, look, how 'bout you take all of us there?

Sea Plane Pilot What do you mean "all"?

Edward Malus [pulling bills from his wallet] Well, me, Mister Grant here, and his twin brother Ulysses.

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Edward Malus Are you the barmaiden, or barkeep, or whatever you call it around here?

Sister Beech I am Sister Beech, yes.

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Edward Malus Maybe you could stop bullshitting me, especially when a little girl's life is at stake - MY little girl, as you may have guessed!

Sister Summersisle As a matter of fact, yes.

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Edward Malus [when first entering the bar] It must be ladies' night.

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Edward Malus Have you seen what she's drawn? Under her desk? It's... pretty disturbing.

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Sister Summersisle Prepare the drone!

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Sister Summersisle Welcome, Mr. Malus. You have come of your own free will to keep your appointment with the Wicker Man.

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Edward Malus Oh, my God... Oh, my God! OH, MY GOD!

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Sister Rose [Malus interrupts her school lesson] I was unaware any of my girls needed arresting.

Edward Malus They don't, no. I'm just up here to find a missing girl whom people are pretending doesn't exist.

Sister Rose How quixotic of you.

Edward Malus Quixotic?

Sister Rose From "Don Quixote"; pursuer of lofty but impractical ideals.

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Edward Malus You know, traditionally, the guy gets his ring back when the fiancee runs away.

Sister Willow [taking a necklace out] I still wear it. Sort of. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come.

Edward Malus How could I not?

Sister Willow Easily. You could have thought I was a madwoman or something raving about my lost daughter. They all do.

Edward Malus Look, I'm barely adjusted to the fact that you have a daughter, okay? So... let's go slow here.

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Sister Beech This here is mead. It's one of the pleasures of our island. A brew of honey, herbs... and whatnot.

Edward Malus [sniffing it] Thanks.

[taking a sip]

Edward Malus Yeah.

[taking another long gulp]

Edward Malus I think you ought to know...

[pounding the bartop with his badge to get everyone's attention]

Edward Malus I think you all should know that I'm here on business. This is official police business, and I want to speak to each one of you at some point.

Sister Beech Official California business, is it? Because... this is Washington.

Edward Malus I'm aware of that.

Sister Beech Then fine.

Edward Malus No, Mrs. Beech, it is not fine. It is anything but fine when a person is lost. Especially a child.

[as a bee lands on the bartop, he smushes it with his stein]

Sister Beech Now, why would you go and do a thing like that?

Edward Malus Sorry, I'm allergic.

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Edward Malus What is the Day of Death and Rebirth?

Sister Willow It's a story. That's all it is; a story.

Edward Malus Look, I'm trying to trust you here, but every time I turn my head, there's something that doesn't make any sense.

Sister Willow Well, I'm frightened of this place, too. I was happy to leave here when I did. Even though I came back, I wish I hadn't. I wish that I stayed and made a life with you, been with you all these years, but I didn't.

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Edward Malus [squeezing out the last remnants of a honey bottle] Why do you have store-bought? I thought you made the stuff here.

Sister Honey Look, I just serve what I'm handed. If you don't like it, you'll have to talk to Sister Beech, all right?

Edward Malus What's with this "Sister" thing, anyway?

Sister Honey It's just our way. We don't have any royal honey for you.

Edward Malus None at all?

Sister Honey No, not a drop. Our crop was cursed last year. I might find you a little bit of sugar.

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Dr. T.H. Moss You came to find our little Rowan. But it is we who found you, just as we intended to do.

Edward Malus I don't understand. Rowan was missing. I had to come. I had a letter. Willow, tell them. Willow, please tell them.

Sister Beech The letter was from all of us here. Your invitation to visit... one might say.

Sister Summersisle You see, you were just the man we needed. And we were determined to get you here.

Sister Rose Notice, Sir Knight, how we led you to believe that your daughter would be sacrificed, due to the failure of the crops last year.

Edward Malus But they did fail. I saw the photo.

Sister Summersisle Yes, they failed, all right; disastrously so. One of the few times since my ancestors moved here. But we are always prepared with a powerful sacrifice. And that, my friend, is your destiny.

Edward Malus [aiming his gun around as he's circled] BACK UP!

Sister Summersisle What we require is a stranger, yet one who is connected to us.

Sister Rose Connected by blood.

Edward Malus Willow... why have you done this to me?

Sister Willow We orchestrated all of this with the greatest care; everything that's happened. Be proud of yourself. You have done so well.

Sister Summersisle Yes. My daughter speaks the truth. Your fate was sealed many years ago, when she chose to be with you.

Edward Malus Your daughter.

Sister Summersisle Yes. My Willow. This is a story whose chapters were carefully written. You have been chosen to die a martyr's death. You will sit beside the gods and goddesses for all of eternity.

Edward Malus [the townsfolk move in closer] BACK UP! I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL SHOOT YOU!

Sister Summersisle It is a great honor. One that you cannot refuse. It is ordained. There is no way out.

Edward Malus STAY BACK!

[he pulls the trigger, but the gun clicks empty, and Willow reveals the bullets in her hand]

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Sister Willow So...

Edward Malus No. No. That's the only way to start this. What in the hell happened to you?

Sister Willow I didn't, um... look, it... it was a long time ago. We were young.

Edward Malus So what?

Sister Willow Well... why do we do anything in this life?

Edward Malus I need some kind of answer here. I mean... was it some other guy or...? I mean, obviously, you met someone, but...

Sister Willow Look, I... I was scared, and... I don't know. I just... I wasn't ready for this. So... I ran back home.

Edward Malus It's quite a home, by the way. This place.

Sister Willow We're different here. I know that. If you've grown up around it, it's one thing, but... it's... yes, odd. Anyway... my daughter is what matters to me now. Rowan.

Edward Malus Why do this? Stir this all up again. It's so... why don't you just get her dad to help you?

Sister Willow Because the only person I trust is you. Even after all these years.

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Edward Malus So, I hear you were expecting me. Well, why is that?

Sister Summersisle Just a matter of time before you came here. I believe you're looking for a child?

Edward Malus I might have found her.

Sister Summersisle Excellent.

Edward Malus Not exactly. In a grave. And I'd like your permission to exhume the body, if one exists, and have it removed for an autopsy.

Sister Summersisle You suspect foul play.

Edward Malus Yeah, murder.

Sister Summersisle How perplexing for you. In that case, you must carry on.

Edward Malus You don't seem very concerned.

Sister Summersisle No. I suppose because I have... confidence that your suspicions are wrong. We don't murder here.

Edward Malus [unconvinced] Uh-huh. Yeah. Well, even if a victim complies, it's still murder.

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Edward Malus Here.

[he gives Station Wagon Girl her doll but she throws it back out the window]

Station Wagon Mom I'm sorry; she's not usually like this.

Edward Malus It's OK, goes with the territory.

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Sister Rose Mr. Malus, no one is lying to you. I told you that if Rowan Woodward existed, we would know of her.

Edward Malus If she existed? If?

Sister Rose But you cannot come barging into our...

Edward Malus I just saw that she existed with my own two eyes. And I suppose her mother is lying to me, too, huh? She's lying?

Sister Rose Not lying, no. Grieving. We all are.

Edward Malus Wait, wait, wait, wait. When you say that she's grieving, you mean that Rowan is... dead?

Sister Rose You would say so, yes.

Edward Malus She's dead or she isn't.

Sister Rose We never use that word here.

Edward Malus [sarcastic] No, that'd be too quixotic.

Sister Rose Yes.

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Sister Summersisle My Celtic ancestors, all the way back, rebelled against this oppression of the feminine. So, in the late 17th century, they fled to the New World. Unfortunately, they settled near Salem. So when they saw that the persecution continued even here, well, that started a long and painful migration westward. Until in the 1850s, my great-great-grandmother led a group of people here and vowed never to enter into that other world again.

Edward Malus How is that possible? You can't just...

Sister Summersisle Oh, those pioneers needed little urging to isolate. They were looking for a simpler way of life. Of course, some do leave, like our Willow, you know, to test themselves or us. Or to find a man. But they always come home... eventually.

Edward Malus Men are, what, second-class citizens?

Sister Summersisle No, not at all; we love our men. We're just not subservient to them. Men are a very important part of our little colony. Breeding, you know?

Edward Malus God. Quite a little racket you've got going for yourself here. Breeding? Sounds like inbreeding to me.

Sister Summersisle Please don't criticize what you know nothing about.

Edward Malus Don't any of you want to just be with someone, fall in love?

Sister Summersisle We procreate 'cause that's the desire of the goddess, to assure ourselves of worthy offspring; the strongest, the finest, the most sturdy of our kind.

Edward Malus I see. Female, right? And what if someone just happens to have a boy? What do you do then?

Sister Summersisle That depends.

Edward Malus Let me ask you one other thing, because frankly, I just don't get you. I do not get this place.

Sister Summersisle Oh, you will. In time, perhaps.

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Edward Malus Rowan, wait.

[after grabbing Rowan and running through the woods in his bear suit, he hears his cellphone and takes half his bear suit off to answer]

Edward Malus Hello, hello? Pete! Pete! Help us. Help. Please! P- eh! Please help!