Once Upon a Time in Hollywood Movie Quotes
Jay Sebring
Is everybody okay?
Rick Dalton
Well... the fuckin' hippies aren't. That's for goddamn sure.
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Cliff Booth
Don't cry in front of the Mexicans.
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Bruce Lee
You're the one with the big mouth, and I would really enjoy closing it, especially in front of all my friends. But my hands are registered as lethal weapons. That means, we get into a fight, I accidentally kill you? I go to jail.
Cliff Booth
Anybody accidentally kills anybody in a fight, they go to jail. It's called manslaughter. I think all that lethal weapon horseshit is just an excuse so you dancers never have to get in a real fight.
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Cliff Booth
[to the Manson Family]
Oh... wait a minute. I know you. I know all three of you! Yeah, Spahn Ranch! Spahn Ranch, yeah! Woo!
[turns to Katie]
Cliff Booth
I don't know your name, but I remember that red hair.
[turns to Sadie]
Cliff Booth
And you're Sadie. I remember your white little face.
[turns to Tex]
Cliff Booth
And you were on a horsey! Yeah... you are?
Tex
I'm the Devil. And I'm here to do the Devil's business!
Sadie
God, shoot him, Tex!
Cliff Booth
Tex!
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Narrator
When you come to the end of the line, with a buddy who is more than a brother and a little less than a wife, getting blind drunk together is really the only way to say farewell.
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Tex
I'm as real as a donut, motherfucker.
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Rick Dalton
Hey! You're a good friend, Cliff.
Cliff Booth
I try.
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Rick Dalton
What the hell are you looking at, you little ginger-haired fucker?
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Rick Dalton
My buddy and his dog killed two of them and, no shit, I torched the last one.
Jay Sebring
Torched?
Rick Dalton
Yeah, I burnt her ass to a crisp.
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Cliff Booth
Hey! You're Rick fucking Dalton. Don't you forget it.
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Cliff Booth
All right. What's the matter, partner?
Rick Dalton
It's official, old buddy. I'm a has-been.
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Rick Dalton
[during a scene in "The 14 Fists of McCluskey" when his character burns several Nazis alive with a flamethrower]
Anybody order fried sauerkraut? Burn, you Nazi bastards! Ha ha ha!
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[Rick and Cliff are being interviewed on location for "Bounty Law" by a NBC journalist]
Allen Kincade
Hello, everybody! This is Allen Kincade, on the set of the exciting hit NBC and Screen Gems television series "Bounty Law".
[gesturing to Rick and Cliff sitting side by side]
Allen Kincade
Now if you think you're seeing double, don't adjust your television sets, because, well, in a way you are. To my right is "Bounty Law" series lead and Jake Cahill himself, Rick Dalton. And to my left is Rick's stunt double, Cliff Booth. Welcome, gentlemen and thanks for taking the time to visit with us.
Rick Dalton
Well, it's our pleasure, Al.
Allen Kincade
So Rick uh, explain to the audience exactly what it is a stunt double does.
Rick Dalton
Well... Actors are required to a lot of dangerous stuff. Well... Say Jake Cahill gets shot off a horse. Now can I fall off the horse? Yes, I can. Yes, I have.
[the three chuckle]
Rick Dalton
Let's say I fall off wrong and I and I sprain my wrist or I- or I twist my ankle, now... that can put an undue burden on production 'cause now maybe I can't work for a week. So, Cliff here is meant to help carry the load.
Allen Kincade
Is that, uh, how you describe your job, Cliff?
Cliff Booth
What, carrying his load?
[beat]
Cliff Booth
Yeah, that's about right.
Allen Kincade
Join me next week on the set of The Dick Van Dyke Show where I'll be talking to those comical cut-ups Morey Amsterdam and Rose Marie. Till then, this is Allen Kincaid signing off from Hollywood!
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Rick Dalton
All right, that's too hot. Anything we can do about that heat?
Flamethrower Trainer
Rick, it's a flamethrower.
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Pussycat
Want me to suck your cock while driving?
Pussycat
What?
Cliff Booth
How old are you?
Pussycat
Wow, man. First time anybody asked that in a long time.
Cliff Booth
What's the answer?
Pussycat
Okay, we gonna play kiddie games? Eighteen. Feel better?
Cliff Booth
You got some I.D., you know, like, a driver's license or something?
Cliff Booth
No, I'm not. I need to see something official that verifies that you're eighteen, which you don't have because you're not.
Pussycat
Talk about a bring-down bummer, dude. That's you.
Cliff Booth
Yeah.
Pussycat
Obviously, I'm not too young to fuck you, but obviously, you are too old to fuck me.
Cliff Booth
What I'm too old to do is go to jail for poon tang. Prison tried to get me all my life, ain't got me yet. Day it does, it won't be because of you. No offense.
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Rick Dalton
You fuckin' hippies came up here to smoke dope on a dark road, huh?
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Cliff Booth
And away we go.
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Gypsy
Welcome to our community.
Cliff Booth
Thanks for having me.
Gypsy
And thanks for giving our precious Pussy a ride home.
Cliff Booth
Think nothing of it.
Gypsy
We love Pussy.
Cliff Booth
Yes, we do.
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Bruce Lee
You know, you're kinda pretty for a stuntman.
Cliff Booth
That's what they tell me.
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Marvin Schwarz
So Rick, who's gonna kick the shit out of you next week? Mannix? The Man from U.N.C.L.E.? The Girl from U.N.C.L.E.? How about Batman and Robin?
[pantomimes the fight choreography]
Marvin Schwarz
Ping! Pow! Choom! Zoom! Down goes you, down goes your career as a leading man.
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Marvin Schwarz
It is so much fun. All the shooting...
[Marvin imitates machine gun noises]
Marvin Schwarz
I love that stuff, you know, with the killing.
Rick Dalton
Lot of killing, lot of killing.
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Rick Dalton
Thank you.
[Trudi walks away. Rick seems touched by her compliment]
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Rick Dalton
Look, chief. You don't belong here. Now take this mechanical asshole and get it off my fucking street!
[drinks from blender of margaritas, walks to the front of the car]
Rick Dalton
Hey, Dennis Hopper! Move this fucking piece of shit!
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Sharon Tate
[to Jay Sebring]
Aww, what's the matter? You afraid I'll tell Jim Morrison you were dancing to Paul Revere & The Raiders? Are they not cool enough for you?
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[while watching an episode of the FBI]
Cliff Booth
All the streets are silent... except when Rick Dalton's got a fucking shotgun, I'll tell you that.
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Trudi
I don't like names like 'Pumpkin Puss'... but since you're upset, we'll talk about it some other time.
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Trudi
I believe it's the job of an actor - and I say actor, not actress because the word actress is nonsensical - it's the actor's job to avoid impediments to their performance. It's the actor's job to strive for one hundred percent effectiveness. Naturally, we never succeed, but it's the pursuit..that's meaningful.
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Cliff Booth
If something were to happen to my boss's car, well, I'd get in trouble. Lucky for you, he's got a spare. Fix it!
Cliff Booth
[as The Family members advance on him as he beats Clem]
Stay Where You Fucking Are... Or I'll KNOCK HIS FUCKING TEETH OUT!
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Rick Dalton
I could be one pool party away from starring in a Polanski movie!
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Pussycat
This was a mistake; you should leave.
Cliff Booth
Way ahead of you.
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Rick Dalton
[as his Lancer character]
I ain't gonna hurt her. I just want her to play the fiddle. Now go fetch her and tell her I'll give her a fat, five-dollar gold piece if she play her little chili pepper heart out!
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Sadie
Fuck you, Katie! Sorry I don't know the name of every fascist on TV in the 50s.
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Bruce Lee
Did I say something funny, stuntman?
Cliff Booth
Yeah, you kind of did.
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Cliff Booth
*click click*
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[yelling after Cliff, who is leaving Spahn Ranch]
Pussycat
George isn't blind! YOU'RE THE BLIND ONE!
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Trudi
Naturally, we never succeed, but it's the pursuit..that's meaningful.
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Randy
What's up, babe?
Janet
What's up, Randy, is that your loser arsehole, wife-killing buddy boy here was beating the shit out of Bruce!
Randy
What?
Cliff Booth
Hey, Randy.
Randy
Cliff! What the fuck, man!
Bruce Lee
Let me just say, nobody beat the shit out of Bruce. It was a friendly contest. He barely touched me.
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Sam Wanamaker
Give me evil, sexy Hamlet. Settle into it. Enjoy it. And cut!
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[scene during credits]
Rick Dalton
Better drag. More flavor. Less throat burn. That's the Red Apple way.
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Steve McQueen
Jay loves Sharon. That's what's up. And he knows, as sure as God made little green apples, that one of these days that Polish prick's gonna fuck things up and when he does, Jay's gonna be there.
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Rick Dalton
Bunch of goddamn fuckin' hippies.
Rick Dalton
What the fuck?
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Sharon Tate
I'm in the movie. I'm Sharon Tate.
Bruin Box Office Girl
You're in this?
Sharon Tate
I play Miss Carlson. That's me.
Bruin Box Office Girl
But, that's the girl from "Valley of the Dolls."
Sharon Tate
Well, that's me - the girl from "Valley of the Dolls."
Bruin Box Office Girl
Really?
Sharon Tate
Really!
Bruin Box Office Girl
Hey, Ruben. Come out here. This is the girl from "Valley of the Dolls."
Movie Theater Manager
Patty Duke?
Bruin Box Office Girl
No, the other one.
Movie Theater Manager
The girl from "Peyton Place?"
Bruin Box Office Girl
No, the other one.
Sharon Tate
The one who ends up doing dirty movies.
Movie Theater Manager
Oh.
Bruin Box Office Girl
She's in this movie.
Sharon Tate
Sharon Tate.
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Sadie
We are in fucking Hollywood, man. The people an entire generation grew up watching kill people, live here. And they live in pigshit fucking luxury. I say fuck 'em. I say we cut their cocks off and make them eat it.
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Rick Dalton
You want me to look like a hippie?
Sam Wanamaker
Think less hippie, more Hells Angel. Wroom! Wroom-wroom!
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[first lines]
Bounty Law Promo Announcer
This man is worth 500 dollars. And this man's going to collect. He's Jake Cahill, and he lives by... "Bounty Law".
Bounty Law Promo Announcer
This man is worth 500 dollars. And this man's going to collect. He's Jake Cahill, and he lives by... "Bounty Law".
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Cliff Booth
I'm the devil and I'm here to do devil shit.
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Cliff Booth
Is he back there?
Squeaky Fromme
Door at the end of the hallway. You might have to shake him awake. I fucked his brains out this morning. - He may be tired.
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Tex
You two ready to kill some piggies?
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[punches her in the face]
Francesca Capucci
How dare you come into my house, motherfucker!
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Connie Stevens
One thing's for sure.
Steve McQueen
Yeah? What's that?
Connie Stevens
Sharon absolutely has a type. A cute, short, talented guys who look like 12 year old boys.
Steve McQueen
Yeah. I never stood a chance.
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Cliff Booth
George, I just want to make sure you're okay - and that all these hippies weren't taking advantage of you.
George Spahn
Squeaky?
Cliff Booth
Yeah.
George Spahn
She - loves me. So, suck on that.
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Gypsy
You can't see him right now.
Cliff Booth
Why can't I see him right now?
Pussycat
Cause he's napping. This is his nap time.
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Sharon Tate
What's going on at the dirty movie place?
Jay Sebring
Well, they're having a premier.
Sharon Tate
Dirty movies have premiers?
Jay Sebring
Yeah. They're fun!
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Radio Station Jingle
Los Angeles Weather
[sung as jingle]
Weather Announcement
Hot today! Heated 95 the high, sunny, NO smog.. well, what I mean is A LOT of smog. Up to 105 in the San Fernando Valley...
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George Spahn
Who are you?
Cliff Booth
It's Cliff Booth. I just stopped in to say hello and see how you're doin'.
George Spahn
John Wilkes Booth?
Cliff Booth
Cliff Booth.
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Billie Booth
You know, this is probably the shittiest weather ever. The shittiest weather on the shittiest boat with the shittiest person. Natalie, my sister said, he's a loser. He's a loser. They all said it. He's a fuckin' loser and I didn't believe them. Because, I guess I'm the fuckin' idiot. Now you're not gonna talk to me? What? You don't feel like fighting?
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Bruce Lee
Now, I admire Cassius Clay. I do. What I admire is - in his sport there's an element of true combat. When Cassius Clay meets Sonny Liston in the ring, that's not two athletes posturing. That's combat. Two men trying to kill each other right now. If you don't beat him, he kills you. That's beyond athletics. That's beyond 'Wide World of Sports,' you know. That's two warriors engaged in combat. That's what I admire. In martial arts tournaments, they won't let you fight like that. It's very frustrating. You stand in front of a guy, you just want to let him have it! But you can't. So, you got to do this play-acting patty cake version. Cassius Clay, Sonny Liston, Joe Louis. The colored boxer, not that white kickboxing asshole. They do what they need to do to win. They unleash as much punishment as they have to - to defeat the other guy. But, in martial arts tournaments, I do to win what they do to win. I unleash all my power. I kill people.
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Sam Wanamaker
Your idea about throwing the little girl on the ground, just worked like a charm.
Rick Dalton
You said Shakespeare.
Sam Wanamaker
Yeah, that's right! And that's what I mean by, "Scare me!" Evil Hamlet scares people.
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Tex Watson
Ready, pig killers? Let's go kill some piggies.
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Rick Dalton
[shooting a commercial for Red Apple Cigarettes]
Hi, this is Rick Dalton, better known as bounty hunter Jake Cahill, speaking on behalf of Red Apple Cigarettes. Now, I smoke Red Apples, been smoking them for years, but since the Red Apple Company has been around since 1862, you'll see Jake Cahill smoke Red Apple too. Now, back in Jake's day, Red Apple came in a pouch and he had to roll his own, but today Red Apple comes factory rolled for the best drag with the best tobacco flavor with less burn on your throat than any other non-filter cigarette.
[Lights up a cigarette and begins smoking]
Rick Dalton
Mmm. That's the way a cigarette should taste. Mmm. Better drag, more flavor, less throat burn.
[Takes another puff on the cigarette and walks over to a life-sized standee of himself]
Rick Dalton
That's the Red Apple way. So look for this life-sized standee of me, Jake Cahill, wherever fine Red Apple Tobacco products are sold. Take a bite and feel all right. Take a bite of a Red Apple. Tell 'em Jake sent you.
Rick Dalton
All right, this cigarette tastes like fucking shit!
[Tosses the cigarette to the ground in disgust]
Rick Dalton
And by the way, who chose this photo? All right? I have a double chin! All right? Nobody notices that crap?
[Throws the standee to the ground in anger]
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Squeaky Fromme
Me and George like to watch TV on Sunday night. FBI and Bonanza. But, George finds it hard to stay awake that late; so, I make him take a nap around now so I don't get gypped out of my George TV time.
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'Sadie'
We grew up watching murders. Every show in the 50s that wasn't "I Love Lucy" was about murder.
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Cliff Booth
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
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Marvin Schwarz
Sounds like a good friend.
Cliff Booth
I try.
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Rick Dalton
Good friend, Cliff
Cliff Booth
I try.
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Pussycat
You embarrassed me.
Cliff Booth
Yeah, sorry about that.
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George Spahn
I'm not doing okay.
Cliff Booth
What's the matter?
George Spahn
I can't see shit! Would you call that "the matter"? The man can't see shit, okay?
Cliff Booth
I'm sorry about that. I was told.
George Spahn
Squeaky sent me to bed.
Cliff Booth
Would that be the little redhead out front?
George Spahn
What the fuck is the matter with you? First, you wake me up, and now you're pretending that I didn't tell you I was fucking blind! How am I going to know what the hell color the head of the girl is that's with me all the time?
Cliff Booth
Oh, fair enough, George.
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Rick Dalton
[as Jake Cahill on "Bounty Law"]
Amateurs try and take men in alive. Amateurs usually don't make it.
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Squeaky Fromme
Oh, Mr. eight years ago? George is blind, so you'll probably have to tell him who you are.
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Bruce Lee
Oh yeah? What'd he do?
Allen Kincade
He killed his wife.
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Ugly Owl Hoot on Bounty Law
What are you looking at, bounty killer?
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Bruce Lee
How about a friendly contest? No punching in the face. Two out of three. Who puts who first on the ground? Nobody tries to hurt nobody, just who ends up on their butt?
Cliff Booth
That's a great idea, Kato.
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