The Secret Life of Pets Movie Quotes
[from trailer]
Gidget
Hey, Max.
Max
Hey, Gidget.
Gidget
Any plans today?
Max
Yes. Big, big stuff today, Gidget. I got big plans. I'm gonna sit here and I'm gonna wait for Katie to come back.
Gidget
Oh, that sounds exciting. Well, I won't interrupt. I've got a very busy day too.
[sighs]
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Chloe
Max, Come on, I'm your friend. Okay? And as your friend, I gotta be honest with you. I don't care about you or your problems.
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Chloe
And, when that random cat tried to eat Sweet Pea, who saved him?
Buddy
It wasn't a random cat. It was you.
Chloe
The identity of the random cat is not the point. We're talking about who saved him!
Mel
Max did!
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Pops
This is uh, Puffball, Squash-Face, Weiner Dog, Yellow Bird, Eagle-Eye, Guinea Pig Joe. And, of course my, girlfriend Rhonda.
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Snowball
I feel heroic! And handsome! I'm a little wet, but I still look good. I look good.
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Pops
It's poo-poo with a dash of caca.
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Pops
Now, if we take the human route, getting there is gonna take days. You may have lots of time, but for me every breath is a cliffhanger.
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Tiberius
Okay. He's too stupid to talk and too ugly to eat.
Ozone
What? I-I...
[slaps him again]
Ozone
Well I... I can't.
[gets slapped again]
Ozone
Let me finish.
[and slapped again]
Ozone
Ow! Help me!
[and slapped again]
Gidget
Don't look at him!
[slaps Ozone again]
Gidget
Look at me! Nobody can help you! Where is *Max*?
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Snowball
The revolution has begun! Liberated forever! Domesticated never!
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Chloe
Because she's a dog person, Max. And dog people do weird, inexplicable things. Like... they get dogs instead of cats.
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Snowball
Welcome my dogs! Oh, you guys look weird. Hurry up, come on in.
Buddy
You said it was a costume party!
Mel
Why do you listen to me?
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Snowball
Who are we? *Who* are *we*? We are the Flushed Pets. Thrown away by our owners and now we are out for revenge! It's like a club, but with biting and scratching.
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Snowball
Death is coming to Brooklyn. And it's got buck teeth and a cotton tail!
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Pops
All right, party's over! *Myron*! *Vacuum*!
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Snowball
That raccoon is lying. He's not the president.
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Pops
That ball of fluff's got a screw loose.
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Tattoo
They say everyone's going to Brooklyn these days. It's making a real comeback.
Snowball
I'm not talking about hipster real estate trends. I'm talking vengeance, Tattoo!
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Max
Maybe the legend of dogs coming from wolves is jus... is just wrong. Maybe, like, maybe one puppy asked his mom, "Where did we come from?" And the mom said "Woof." And the kid was like, "Oh wolves?" And she was like, "Yeah, fine."
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Mel
I will never eat a pill like that again. Unless it's covered in peanut butter. Because, I mean, come on! Right? It's peanut butter!
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Duke
Don't make me angry, because when I get angry, I do this...
[Growls]
Duke
... and I hate doing that.
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Max
[after Duke accidentally causes a vase to crash to the floor]
Oh, Duke. Duke, Katie is not... Katie's gonna be so upset when she sees that... Katie's... gonna flip out...
[looks around mischievously]
Max
... when she sees how... you trashed her whole place.
Duke
Oh, it's just...
[scratches behind ear]
Duke
It's just one vase.
Max
Is it, Duke? Is it?
[Kicks a vase off a table]
Max
Oh that's a shame.
[pushes a bunch of papers onto the ground]
Duke
What are you doing?
Max
Whoa, what am I doing? Nothing. I'm a cute little doggy. Katie knows I'd never do anything like this
[pushes a table making it start to tip over]
Duke
No, no. Whoa!
[runs and manages to keep the table from falling over]
Max
This can only be the work of...
[pushes some books off a shelf]
Max
... a dangerous stray, Who hasn't laid down a foundation of trust.
[walks along a counter-top, knocking things over]
Max
You're the new dog. And, hey Duke, what'd you go and do this for?
[pushes a bowl of fruit to the ground]
Duke
Oh! I'm gonna...
Max
What? Bite me? Rip my face off? Perfect. Wait till Katie finds out.
[imitates an injured dog]
Max
Oh! Help, Katie! Thank goodness you're here! I tried to stop him, but he's crazy!
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[first lines]
Max
[narrating]
I've lived in this city all my life. I'm Max. And I'm the luckiest dog in New York because of her. That's Katie. Katie and I, well, we have the perfect relationship. We met a few years ago and, boy, let me tell ya', we got along right away. You know, it was one of those relationships where... where you just know.
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[Begins to weep]
Snowball
He's a flat-jack! Oh Viper! Viper you in a better place! You with Ricky! You ain't never did nothin' to nobody! Well, you bit a lot of people Viper, so technically, you might actually deserve this, this might be something that's long overdue. But... it shouldn't have came like this! Not on my watch!
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Snowball
I feel heroic! And handsome! I'm a little wet, but I still look good...
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Max
Hey, uh, Gidget, wait up.
Gidget
Oh, uh, hi, Max.
[her tail starts wagging]
Max
Yeah, uh...
[Her tail stops wagging, and she giggles]
Max
Yeah, I just wanted to, uh...
[clears throat]
Max
Look. Have you ever lived across from someone your whole life, but you don't really appreciate them until... I don't know, until they're beating up dozens of animals on the Brooklyn Bridge? I guess, what I'm trying to say is... if you ever want to...
[Gidget wags her tail, and her eyes lighten up. Then she barks and happily hops onto Max and starts licking him and nuzzling him]
Max
Okay!
Pops
Oh, great, you're in love! How gross for everyone! Now, move it!
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Ozone
What's goin' on here?
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[Snowball glances at him suspiciously]
Max
... ly good!
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Snowball
[to snakes guarding the entrance]
The new password is "Don't ask the leader for the password!"
[the snakes eyes turn green and they smile]
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Gidget
[climbs up through the drawers and shelves of a cabinet]
Friends, I am afraid that I have some terrible news.
Mel
The squirrels are gonna take over the world, I knew it! I always said, squirrels are little shifty little guys.
Gidget
No, we're not doing the squirrel thing right now, that's not, no!
[sighs]
Gidget
Max is missing! He's out there somewhere. Lost. Scared. So, so handsome. We've got to find him and bring him home!
Mel
But the outside world is loud and scary, whoa! Is that a hawk?
Gidget
This is my friend, Tiberius. He's going to help us.
[Tiberius flies next to Gidget]
Gidget
He's not going to eat us. We've already been over it.
Buddy
Come on, Gidget. We go out there without a leash, we'll get caught by a net... or something worse.
Mel
Yeah, like a hawk!
Gidget
We're wasting time. Max need us.
Buddy
Come on, girl. Max doesn't even know you're alive.
Gidget
Well, I don't care. I love him! I love him with all of my heart! And I'm gonna go look for Max, no matter who's with me. So... Who's with me? All right, fine. Fine.
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[Gidget is watching La Pasión de la Pasión on TV]
Maria
[Bursting into a room with much flouncing]
Why? Why?
Gidget
What's the matter, Maria?
Fernando
Maria! Your face! It wears a thousand sorrows! What is wrong?
Maria
[More flouncing]
Oh, I have come face to face with the worst thing in the world!
Gidget
[Getting really into it]
What? Oh, tell me Maria! Tell me now! I CANNOT BEAR ANOTHER MOMENT WITHOUT KNOWING!
Maria
[Yet more flouncing]
Loneliness!
[Fernardo gasps, then Gidget gasps]
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Max
Wait a minute. This is my fault? I was trying to help you!
Duke
You were trying to get rid of me!
Max
You know what, Duke? I don't need this. I'll see you later.
[Max suddenly gets captured by the animal control, Duke saves him]
Duke
GO HOME, MAX!
[Duke gets put into the animal control truck, Max chases]
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