Fargo 1995 - Movie Quotes

Marge Gunderson [to Gaear] So, that was Mrs. Lundegaard on the floor in there. And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper. And those three people in Brainerd. And for what? For a little bit of money? There's more to life than a little money, you know. Don'tcha know that? And here ya are, and it's a beautiful day. Well. I just don't understand it.

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Marge Gunderson Say, Lou, didya hear the one about the guy who couldn't afford personalized plates, so he went and changed his name to J3L2404?

Lou Yah, that's a good one.

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Mr. Mohra So, I'm tendin' bar there at Ecklund and Swedlin's last Tuesday, and this little guy's drinkin' and he says, "So where can a guy find some action? I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake." And I says, "What kinda action?" and he says, "Woman action, what do I look like?" And I says, "Well, what do I look like? I don't arrange that kinda thing," and he says, "But I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake," and I says, "Well, this ain't that kinda place."

Officer Olson Uh-huh.

Mr. Mohra So he angrily says, "Oh I get it, so you think I'm some kinda crazy jerk for askin'!" only he doesn't use the word "jerk."

Officer Olson I understand.

Mr. Mohra And then he calls me a jerk, and says that the last guy who thought he was a jerk is dead now. So I don't say nothin' and he says, "What do ya think about that?" So I says, "Well, that don't sound like too good a deal for him, then."

Officer Olson [chuckles] Ya got that right.

Mr. Mohra And he says, "Yah, that guy's dead, and I don't mean of old age." And then he just pays his tab and walks out saying, "Geez, I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake!"

Officer Olson White Bear Lake?

Mr. Mohra Well... Ecklund & Swedlin's, that's closer ta Moose Lake, so I made that assumption.

Officer Olson Oh sure.

Mr. Mohra So, ya know, he's drinkin', so I don't think a whole great deal of it, but Mrs. Mohra heard about the homicides down here last week and she thought I should call it in. So... I called it in. End o' story.

Officer Olson What'd this guy look like, anyway?

Mr. Mohra Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'.

Officer Olson Uh-huh. In what way?

Mr. Mohra Oh, just in a general kinda way.

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Marge Gunderson I'm not sure I agree with you a hundred percent on your police work, there, Lou.

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Jerry Lundegaard You're darn tootin'!

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[Marge bends over next to the overturned car, as if she's looking at something on the ground]

Lou You alright there, Margie?

Marge Gunderson Oh, I just think I'm gonna barf...

Marge Gunderson [standing up again after a moment] ... Well, that passed. Now I'm hungry again.

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Airport Lot Attendant There's a minimum charge of four dollars. Long-term parking charges by the day.

Carl Showalter I guess you think you're... you know, like an authority figure, with that stupid fuckin' uniform, huh buddy? King clip-on-tie there, big fuckin' man, huh? You know these are the limits of your life, man! The rule of your little fuckin' gate here!

[gives the attendant the money]

Carl Showalter Here's your four dollars, you pathetic piece of shit!

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Norm Gunderson They announced it.

Marge Gunderson They announced it?

Norm Gunderson Yeah.

Marge Gunderson So?

Norm Gunderson Three-cent stamp.

Marge Gunderson Your mallard?

Norm Gunderson Yeah.

Marge Gunderson Oh, that's terrific.

Norm Gunderson It's just a three-cent stamp.

Marge Gunderson It's terrific.

Norm Gunderson Hautman's blue-winged teal got the 29-cent. People don't much use the three-cent.

Marge Gunderson Oh, for Pete's sake. Of course they do. Whenever they raise the postage, people need the little stamps.

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Marge Gunderson Oh, for Pete's sake! For Pete's sake, he's fleeing the interview. He's fleeing the interview!

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Carl Showalter Who the fuck are you?

[Wade doesn't answer]

Carl Showalter WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?

Wade Gustafson I got your damn money. Now, where's my daughter?

Carl Showalter I am through fuckin' around here! Drop that fuckin' briefcase!

Wade Gustafson Where's my daughter?

Carl Showalter Fuck you, man! Where's Jerry? I gave simple fuckin' instructions!

Wade Gustafson Where's my damn daughter? No Jean, no money!

Carl Showalter Drop that fuckin' money!

Wade Gustafson No Jean, no money!

Carl Showalter Is this a fuckin' joke here?

[shoots Wade]

Wade Gustafson [as he sinks to his knees and falls back] Aww, Jeez.

Carl Showalter Happy now, asshole? What's with you people? Ya fuckin' imbeciles!

[as Carl reaches for the briefcase, Wade shoots him in the face]

Carl Showalter Ah! You fuckin' shot me!

[Carl shoots Wade six more times, screams, then kicks the dead Wade twice]

Carl Showalter You fuck!

[takes briefcase]

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Marge Gunderson Okay, I want you to tell me what these fellas looked like.

Hooker No. 1 Well, the little guy was kinda funny-lookin'.

Marge Gunderson In what way?

Hooker No. 1 I dunno, just funny-lookin'.

Marge Gunderson Can you be any more specific?

Hooker No. 1 I couldn't really say. He wasn't circumcised.

Marge Gunderson [amused by this unhelpful detail] Was he funny lookin' apart from that?

Hooker No. 1 Yah.

Marge Gunderson So, you were havin' sex with the little fellow, then.

Hooker No. 1 Uh huh.

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[Jean is making noise in the back of the car]

Gaear Grimsrud Shut the fuck up! Or I'll throw you back in the trunk, you know?

Carl Showalter Jesus, that's more than I've heard you say all week.

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Marge Gunderson Ah, hon, ya got Arby's all over me.

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Jerry Lundegaard [Jerry and Wade discuss business opportunity] This could work out real good for me and Jean and Scotty.

Wade Gustafson [coldly] Jean and Scotty never have to worry.

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Jerry Lundegaard Well, that's it then. Here are the keys.

Carl Showalter No, that's not it, Jerry.

Jerry Lundegaard Huh?

Carl Showalter The new vehicle plus $40,000.

Jerry Lundegaard Yah, the deal was the car first then the $40,000 as if it was the ransom. I thought Shep told you that.

Carl Showalter Shep didn't tell us much, Jerry. Except that you were gonna be here at 7:30.

Jerry Lundegaard Yah, I'm sorry. That was a mix up.

Carl Showalter Yeah, you already said that.

Jerry Lundegaard Yah, but this is not a whole pay in advance deal. You see, I give you a brand new vehicle in advance and...

Carl Showalter I'm not gonna debate you, Jerry.

Jerry Lundegaard Okay.

Carl Showalter I'm not gonna sit here and debate.

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Carl Showalter You ever been to Minneapolis?

Gaear Grimsrud Nope.

Carl Showalter Would it... kill you to say something?

Gaear Grimsrud I did.

Carl Showalter "No." That's the first thing you've said in the last four hours. That's, a fountain of conversation there, buddy. That's a geyser.

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[last lines]

Norm Gunderson [rubbing Margie's pregnant stomach] Two more months.

Marge Gunderson [smiling] Two more months.

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Jerry Lundegaard [answering the phone] Jerry Lundegaard.

Carl Showalter [voice over the phone] Alright, Jerry, you got the phone to yourself? Are you alone?

Jerry Lundegaard [into the phone] Well, yeah.

Carl Showalter [voice] You know who this is?

Jerry Lundegaard Well, yeah, I got an idea. How's that Ciera working out for ya?

Carl Showalter [voice] Circumstances have changed, Jerry.

Jerry Lundegaard Well, what do ya mean?

Carl Showalter [voice] Things have changed, circumstances, Jerry... force majeure, acts of God.

Jerry Lundegaard How's Jean?

Carl Showalter [puzzled] Who's Jean?

Jerry Lundegaard My wife! What the-?

Carl Showalter [voice] Oh... right. She's alright, but there's a few people in Brainerd who aren't so okay, I'll tell you that.

Jerry Lundegaard What the heck are ya talking about? Let's just finish this deal up here.

Carl Showalter [voice] Blood has been shed, Jerry.

Jerry Lundegaard What the heck do ya mean?

Carl Showalter [voice] Three people, in Brainerd... are dead.

Jerry Lundegaard Oh, jeez!

Carl Showalter [voice] That's right, we need more money.

Jerry Lundegaard What the heck are ya talking about? What do you fellas have yourself mixed up in?

Carl Showalter [voice] Never mind that. We need more money...

Jerry Lundegaard [interrupting] This was supposed to be a no rough stuff type deal!

Carl Showalter [angry] DON'T EVER INTERRUPT ME, JERRY! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Jerry Lundegaard Well, I'm sorry, but I just... I don't...

Carl Showalter [voice] I'm not gonna debate with you on this, Jerry! I'm not gonna debate! Three people in Brainerd were killed last night. We now want the entire 80,000!

Jerry Lundegaard Oh, for chris'sake here!

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Norm Gunderson I love you, Margie.

Marge Gunderson I love you, Norm.

[she leaves, closing the door; after getting in the car briefly, she comes back in the door]

Marge Gunderson Hon?

Norm Gunderson Yah?

Marge Gunderson Prowler needs a jump.

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Carl Showalter Would it... kill you to say something? "No." That's the first thing you've said in the last four hours. That's a... that's fountain of conversation, man. That's a geyser. I mean, whoa daddy! Stand back, man. Shit. I'm sitting here driving. Doing all the driving, man. The whole fucking way from Brainard driving. Just trying to... chat, you know. Keep our spirits up, fight the boredom of the road, and you can't say one fucking thing just in the way of conversation. Oh fuck it. I don't have to talk to you either, man. See how you like it. Just total fucking silence. Two can play at that game, smart guy. We'll just see how you like it. Total silence.

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Shep Proudfoot [beating Carl Showalter violently] Fucking little weasel! Fuck you! You fucking motherfucker son of a bitch! Fucking cock! Jesus Christ! You fucking shitbag motherfucker!

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Gaear Grimsrud Where is pancakes house?

Carl Showalter What?

Gaear Grimsrud We stop at pancakes house.

Carl Showalter What... are you nuts? We had pancakes for breakfast. Gotta go to a place I can get a shot and a beer, steak, maybe, not more fuckin' pancakes, c'mon.

[Gaear just stares at Carl]

Carl Showalter Oh, come on, man! Okay, here's an idea: we can stop outside of Brainerd. I know a place there we can get laid. Whaddya think?

Gaear Grimsrud I'm fucking hungry now, you know!

Carl Showalter Yeah yeah Jesus, I'm sayin' we can... stop, get pancakes and then we'll get laid, alright?

[Gaear glares briefly]

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Carl Showalter [entering cabin, with shot-up face] You should see the other guy.

Carl Showalter [he sees Jean Lundegaard's dead body] What the fuck happened to her?

Gaear Grimsrud [watching TV and eating TV dinner] Uh, she started shrieking, y'know. She wouldn't stop...

Carl Showalter Geesus. Well, it doesn't matter. I got the money. All of it. All eighty grand.

Carl Showalter [he puts a couple stacks of bills down on table] That's forty for you, forty for me.

[Grimsrud pokes at the stacks of bills with his fork]

Carl Showalter [puts a set of keys next to the money] That's it, then. You can have my truck. Here's the keys. I'm takin' the Ciera.

Gaear Grimsrud We split that.

Carl Showalter [pause] How the fuck do you split a fuckin' car, ya dummy? With a fuckin' chainsaw?

Gaear Grimsrud One of us pays the other for half.

Carl Showalter Hold on! No fuckin' way! You fuckin' notice this? I got fuckin' shot! I got fuckin' shot in the face! I went and got the fuckin' money. I got shot fuckin' picking it up! I've been up for thirty-six fuckin' hours! I'm taking' that fuckin' car! That fucker's mine, you fuckin' asshole!

[as usual, no response from Grimsrud]

Carl Showalter You know, I've been listening to your fuckin' bullshit all week! Are we square?

[no response from Grimsrud who continues staring at the TV]

Carl Showalter [flashing his gun] Are WE square?

[no response]

Carl Showalter Yeah, ya fuckin' mute. And if you see your friend Shep Proudfoot, tell him I'm gonna nail his fuckin' ass!

[he exits angrily toward the Ciera; after a few seconds, Grimsrud follows him out the door with an axe in hand]

Carl Showalter [Showalter turns and sees Grimsrud striding toward him, axe raised] Oh no! Aaaaaah!

[Grimsrud brings the axe down toward Carl's neck]

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Jerry Lundegaard I told ya. We haven't had any vehicles go missing.

Marge Gunderson [cheerful tone] Okay! But are ya sure? 'Cause I mean, how do you know? Do you do a count, or what kind of a routine do you have here?

Jerry Lundegaard [growing uncomfortable with the questioning] Ma'am, I answered your question!

Marge Gunderson [long pause] I'm sorry, sir?

Jerry Lundegaard Ma'am, I answered your question! I answered the darned... I'm cooperatin' here!

Marge Gunderson [serious tone] Sir, you have no call to get snippy with me. I'm just doing my job here.

Jerry Lundegaard I'm... I'm not arguing here! I'm cooperating. So there's no need to... we're doin' all we can here.

Marge Gunderson Sir, could I talk to Mr. Gustafson?

[Jerry gives her a glassy-eyed look, knowing full well that Gustafson is dead]

Marge Gunderson Mr. Lundegaard?

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Gaear Grimsrud You're a smooth smoothie, you know?

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Carl Showalter [irately, over the phone] Alright, Jerry, I'm through fuckin' around! You got the fuckin' money?

Jerry Lundegaard [into the phone] Yeah, I got the money, but... uh...

Carl Showalter Don't you fuckin' fuck me, Jerry! I want you to get this money to the parking garage at the Dayton Radisson, top level, in 30 minutes, Jerry. We wrap this thing up.

Jerry Lundegaard Yeah, but...

Carl Showalter Hey, you're there in 30 minutes, Jerry, or I find you, Jerry, and I shoot you and I shoot your fuckin' wife and I shoot all your fuckin' children and I shoot them all in the back of their little fuckin' heads! You got it?

Jerry Lundegaard Okay, now you stay away from Scotty, now.

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[repeated line]

Jerry Lundegaard The heck do ya mean?

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Marge Gunderson Mind if I sit down? I'm carrying quite a load here.

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[first lines]

Jerry Lundegaard I'm, uh, Jerry Lundegaard.

Carl Showalter You're Jerry Lundegaard?

Jerry Lundegaard Ya. Shep Proudfoot said...

Carl Showalter Shep said you'd be here at 7:30. What gives, man?

Jerry Lundegaard Shep said 8:30.

Carl Showalter We've been sitting here an hour. He's

[motioning to Gaer]

Carl Showalter peed three times already.

Jerry Lundegaard I'm sure sorry. Shep told me 8:30. It was a mix-up, I guess.

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Marge Gunderson You betcha!

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Carl Showalter [Shep Proudfoot, enraged, bursts into apartment and knocks Carl out of bed while having sex with hooker] Shep, whatthefuckyadoin'? I'm banging that girl!

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[Jerry and an irate customer argue over a sealant that the customer had previously indicated he didn't want, after Jerry has gone off to pretend to talk to his boss]

Jerry Lundegaard Well, we've never done this before. But seeing as it's special circumstances and all, he says I can knock a hundred dollars off that Trucoat.

Irate Customer [stunned that Jerry still intends to charge him for something he didn't order] One hundred... You lied to me, Mr. Lundegaard. You're a bald-faced liar. A... fucking liar.

Irate Customer [to his wife, frustrated] Where's my goddamn checkbook? Let's get this over with.

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Carl Showalter [voice] Three people were killed last night in Brainerd. We're in a load of trouble, Jerry. I'm comin' there tomorrow. You have the money ready by then.

Jerry Lundegaard [into the phone] Now, we had a deal. A deal's a deal.

Carl Showalter [voice] Is it, Jerry? Why don't you ask those three poor souls in Brainerd if a deal's a deal? Go ahead, ask them!

Jerry Lundegaard [into the phone] The heck do ya mean?

Carl Showalter [mimicking Jerry mockingly] "The heckya mean?" I'll call you tomorrow!

[hangs up]

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Carl Showalter [on date with hooker] So, how long you been with the escort service?

Escort I don't know, a few months.

Carl Showalter Find that work interesting, do ya?

Escort What're you talkin' about?

[quick cut to next scene, where he's having sex with her]

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[as Shep angrily approaches Carl]

Carl Showalter You stay away from me, man! Hey, smoke a fuckin' peace pipe!

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Stan Grossman But you're sayin'... what are ya sayin'?

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Mike Yanagita [moves to Marge's side of the table and puts arms around her] Do you mind if I sit over here?

Marge Gunderson No. Why don't you sit over there? I'd prefer that.

Mike Yanagita Huh? Uh... ok.

[moves back to other side of table]

Mike Yanagita Sorry.

Marge Gunderson Oh, no, no. Just so I can see you. I don't have to turn my neck.

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[repeated line]

Norm Gunderson I'll fix you some eggs.

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Marge Gunderson Well, I'm sorry, sir!

Jerry Lundegaard [storming off to do a lot count] Aw, what the Chris'!

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Marge Gunderson [reporting over her police radio] There's the car! There's the car!

Lou What car?

Marge Gunderson My car, my car! Tan Ciera, Tan Ciera!

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Gaear Grimsrud Unguent. I need unguent.

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Jerry Lundegaard Well, heck! If you wanna... If you wanna play games here, I'm working with ya on this thing here, but... Okay!

[slams table as he stands up]

Jerry Lundegaard I'll do a damn lot count!

Marge Gunderson Sir, right now?

Jerry Lundegaard Yeah! Right now. You're darn tootin'! If it's so damned important to ya!

Marge Gunderson Well, I'm sorry, sir.

Jerry Lundegaard Ah, what the Christ!

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Carl Showalter I decided not to park there.

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Reilly Diefenbach [voice] Mr. Lundegaard? This is Reilly Diefenbach from GMAC. How are you this morning?

Jerry Lundegaard [into the phone] Real good. How are you?

Reilly Diefenbach [voice] Pretty good, Mr. Lundegaard. I must say, you are damn hard to get a hold of over the phone.

Jerry Lundegaard Well, we're pretty darn busy here, but that's the way we like it.

Reilly Diefenbach [voice] Well, that's for sure. The reason why I've been trying to reach you is that these last financing documents that you sent over to us... I can't read the serial numbers of the vehicles...

Jerry Lundegaard [getting nervous] Yah, well I already got the money. The loans are in place. I already got the...

Reilly Diefenbach [voice] Yah, the 320 thousand... you got the money last month from us.

Jerry Lundegaard So, we're all set then.

Reilly Diefenbach [voice] Yah, but the vehicles that you're borrowing on, I just can't read the serial numbers on your application. Maybe if you could just read...

Jerry Lundegaard Yah, but the deal's already done. I've already got the money.

Reilly Diefenbach [voice] Yah, but we have an audit here and I just have to know that these vehicles that your financing with this money that they really exist.

Jerry Lundegaard [getting more nervous] Well... they exist all right.

Reilly Diefenbach [voice] Well, I'm pretty sure they do, but I can't read the serial numbers here. Maybe if you could read the numbers to me on the first...

Jerry Lundegaard Yah... well... see... I don't have them in front of me. Why don't I just fax you over a copy?

Reilly Diefenbach [voice] No, no, a fax is no good. That's what I have here and I can't read the darn thing.

Jerry Lundegaard Yah, I'll have my girl send you a copy then.

Reilly Diefenbach [voice] Okay, that's good. But I need to tell you that if I can't correlate these numbers with those specific vehicles, then I'm gonna have to call back all that money.

Jerry Lundegaard How much money did you say that was?

Reilly Diefenbach [voice] $320,000. I have to correlate that money with the cars that it's being lent on.

Jerry Lundegaard Okay, no problem. I'll just fax...

Reilly Diefenbach [voice] No, no...

Jerry Lundegaard I mean send it right over. I'll shoot it right over. Good bye.

[hangs up]

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Irate Customer We sat right here, in this room, and went over this and over this.

Jerry Lundegaard Yeah, but that TruCoat...

Irate Customer I sat right here and said I didn't want any TruCoat.

Jerry Lundegaard Yeah, but I'm saying that TruCoat. You don't get it, you get oxidation problems. It'll cost you a heck of a lot more than $500.

Irate Customer You're sitting there. You're talking in circles. You're talking like we didn't go over this already.

Jerry Lundegaard Yeah, but this TruCoat...

Irate Customer We had a deal here for nineteen-five. You sat there and darned if you didn't tell me you'd get me this car, these options, without the sealant for nineteen-five.

Jerry Lundegaard All right, I'm not saying I didn't...

Irate Customer You called me 20 minutes ago and said you had it ready to make delivery! You says, "Come on down and get it." And, and, and here you are and you're wasting my time and my wife's time, and I'm paying nineteen-five for this vehicle here!

Jerry Lundegaard All right. I'll talk to my boss.

[gets up and turns before leaving]

Jerry Lundegaard See, they install that TruCoat at the factory. There's nothing we can do about that.

[Customer ready to shout]

Jerry Lundegaard but I'll talk to my boss.

Irate Customer These guys here. These guys. It's always the same! It's always more!

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Wade Gustafson What kind of finders fee are you looking for?

Jerry Lundegaard Huh?

Stan Grossman The financials are pretty through. The only thing we don't know is your fee.

Jerry Lundegaard My fee? Wade, what the heck you talking about?

Wade Gustafson Stan and I are okay. We gotta load in. But we never talked about your fee for bringing it to us.

Jerry Lundegaard Wade, no. I was bringing you this deal for you to loan me the money to put in. It's my deal here, see?

Stan Grossman Jerry, we thought you were bringing us an investment.

Jerry Lundegaard Yah, right.

Stan Grossman But you're saying that... what are you saying?

Wade Gustafson You're saying that we put in all the money and you collect when it pays off?

[both Wade and Stan laugh]

Jerry Lundegaard [getting nervous; stammering again] No... it's just... I'd pay you back the principle and interest. Heck, I'd go... one over prime.

Stan Grossman We're not a bank, Jerry.

Wade Gustafson If I wanted a bank interest loan on $750,000 I'd go to Midwest Federal and and talk to old Bill Deal.

Stan Grossman Does he work at North Star now?

Jerry Lundegaard No, no, it just... I... I don't need a finders fee. Finder's fee that's... what? Ten percent? Heck, that's not gonna do it for me. I need the principle!

Stan Grossman Jerry, we're not going to just give you $750,000 of our money.

Wade Gustafson What the heck were your thinking? If I am getting bank interest, I want complete security. Heck, FDIC. I don't see nothing like that here.

Jerry Lundegaard [getting desperate] Yah, but... it's... I... just... I guarantee all your money back with interest when the deal starts paying. You have my word.

Wade Gustafson I'm not talking about your damn word here, Jerry! What the hell were you thinking? Jesus! Look... I don't want to cut you out of the loop here. This here is a good deal. I assume that if you are not interested in getting a finders fee, you won't mind if we move on with the deal independently.

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Marge Gunderson So, where you girls from?

Hooker No. 1 Chaska.

Hooker #2 Le Sueur. But I went to high school in White Bear Lake. Go bears.

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Mike Yanagita So, uh, you married old Norm son-of-a-Gunderson?

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Carl Showalter Just keep it still back there, lady, or we're going to have to, you know, shoot you.

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Marge Gunderson So, Mike, should we get together another time?

Mike Yanagita No!

[sobs]

Mike Yanagita I'm sorry, I... I shouldn't have done this. I shouldn't have done this, I shouldn't have... I thought we'd have a really terrific time.

Marge Gunderson It's OK, Mike.

Mike Yanagita You were such a super lady... and I'm, I'm so lonely.

[sobs]

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Marge Gunderson OK, so we got a trooper pulls someone over, we got a shooting, these folks drive by, there's a high-speed pursuit, ends here and then this execution-type deal.

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Jerry Lundegaard You see, my wife's dad is real well off.

Carl Showalter So, why don't you just ask him for the money?

Gaear Grimsrud Or your fucking wife, you know.

Carl Showalter Or your fuckin' wife, Jerry?

Jerry Lundegaard Well, it's all part of... look, the thing is they don't know that I'm in trouble. My wife and father-in-law don't know I need money. And if they did... I still won't get it. Okay? These are personal matters.

Carl Showalter Personal matters? Okay, you're tasking us to perform this mission, but you won't tell us what... oh, fuck it. Let's have a look at the Ciera.

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Scotty Lundegaard [finishing supper] May I be excused?

Jerry Lundegaard Ya done, there?

Scotty Lundegaard Yah. Can I go out?

Jean Lundegaard Where ya goin'?

Scotty Lundegaard Just to McDonalds.

Jerry Lundegaard Be back at 9:30.

[Scotty exits]

Wade Gustafson He just ate - he didn't finish! He's goin' to McDonalds instead of finishin' here.

Jean Lundegaard He sees his friends there. It's okay.

Wade Gustafson It's okay, MAC-Donalds. Heh. Whaddya think they do there? They don't drink milkshakes, I assure you.

Jean Lundegaard It's okay, Dad!

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[repeated line]

Stan Grossman We're not a bank, Jerry.

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Jean Lundegaard [reprimanding Scotty, who is eating and watching TV, paying no attention] I am talking about your potential. You're not a 'C' student.

Scotty Lundegaard Uh huh...

Jean Lundegaard Yet you're gettin' 'C' grades. It's the disparity here that concerns your dad and me.

Scotty Lundegaard [mumbling] Mmmm.

Jean Lundegaard Ya know what a disparity is?

Scotty Lundegaard [attentive now] Yeah!

Jean Lundegaard Okay, then! That's why we don't want ya goin' out for hockey!

Scotty Lundegaard [upset] Oh, come on! What's the big deal? It's just an hour a... what's the big deal?

Jean Lundegaard [phone rings] Hold on.

[answers phone]

Jean Lundegaard Hullo? Oh, hi, Dad! Yah! He's here, I'll catch him for ya!

Jean Lundegaard [to Jerry] Hon, it's Dad.

Scotty Lundegaard [to his father, entering the room] Look, Dad, there's no fucking way...

Jerry Lundegaard [putting his hand over the phone's mouthpiece] Hey, let's watch that language there!

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Wade Gustafson I'm not talking about your damn word, Jerry.

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Cashier How was everything today?

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Marge Gunderson So, do you remember getting a phone call late Wednesday night?

Shep Proudfoot [after a short pause] No.

Marge Gunderson You do reside there at 1425 Freemont Terrace?

Shep Proudfoot Yes.

Marge Gunderson Anyone else residing there?

Shep Proudfoot No.

Marge Gunderson Well, Mr. Proudfoot, this call came in past three in the morning. It's just hard for me to believe you don't remember anyone calling. Now, I know you've had some problems; struggling with the narcotics, some other entanglements, currently on parole.

Shep Proudfoot So?

Marge Gunderson Well, associating with criminals, if you're the one they talked to, that right there would be a violation of your parole; would end you up back in Stillwater. I saw some rough stuff on your priors, but nothing like a homicide. I know you don't wanna be an accessory to something like that.

[after another pause]

Marge Gunderson So... you think you might remember who those folks were who called ya?

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Gaear Grimsrud [after being bit on the hand by Jean Lundegaard] Unguent... I need unguent.

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Marge Gunderson [on lobby phone, asking advice about a restaurant] Is it reasonable?

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Jerry Lundegaard [Jerry just got off the phone with a furious Carl who demanded the entire $80,000 instead of the $40,000 that was promised after him and Gaear killed three people in Brainerd when the phone goes again] Yah!

Reilly Diefenbach [over the phone] Jerome Lundegaard?

Jerry Lundegaard [slightly friendlier] Yah.

Reilly Diefenbach [over the phone] This is Reilly Diefenbach from GMAC. Sir, I've not received those vehicle ID's you promised.

Jerry Lundegaard Yah, I... those are in the mail.

Reilly Diefenbach [over the phone] That very well may be. I must inform you, however, that absent the receipt of those numbers by tomorrow afternoon I will have to refer this matter to our legal department.

Jerry Lundegaard Yah.

Reilly Diefenbach [over the phone] My patience is at an end.

Jerry Lundegaard Yah.

Reilly Diefenbach [over the phone] Good day, Sir.

Jerry Lundegaard Yah.

[Jerry hangs up the phone and then suddenly throws things off his desk in a fit of rage]

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Hooker No. 1 Hey, they said they were goin' to the Twin Cities.

Marge Gunderson Oh, yah?

Hooker #2 Yah!

Hooker No. 1 Yah. Is that useful to ya?

Marge Gunderson Oh, you betcha, yah.

Hooker No. 1 Hooker No. 1, Hooker #2: Yah.

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Marge Gunderson [to Radisson hotel concierge] I'm doing really super there, thanks. I am Mrs. Gunderson. I have a reservation.

Hotel Clerk Yep, you sure do, Mrs. Gunderson.

Marge Gunderson [smiling] Is there a phone down here, you think?

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Marge Gunderson Hon? Prowler needs a jump.

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Lou How's it look, Marge?

Marge Gunderson Well he's got his gun on his hip there and... he looks like a nice enough guy. It's a real shame.

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Jerry Lundegaard Wade, have ya had a chance to think about, uhm, that deal I was talkin' about, those forty acres there on Wayzata?

Wade Gustafson You told me about it.

Jerry Lundegaard Yeah, you said you'd have a think about it. I understand it's a lot of money.

Wade Gustafson A heck of a lot. What'd you say you were gonna put there?

Jerry Lundegaard A lot. It's a limited...

Wade Gustafson I know it's a lot.

Jerry Lundegaard I mean a parking lot.

Wade Gustafson Yeah, well, seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars is a lot.

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Marge Gunderson Okay. So we got a trooper pulls someone over, we got a shooting, these folks drive by, there's a high-speed pursuit, ends here, and then this execution-type deal.

Lou Yah.

Marge Gunderson I'd be very surprised if our suspect was from Brainerd.

Lou Yah.

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Wade Gustafson I give these sons a bitches a million dollars, where's my guarantee they're gonna let her go.

Jerry Lundegaard Well, they...

Wade Gustafson A million dollars is a lot a damn money!

Jerry Lundegaard Yah, but they...

Wade Gustafson And there they are, they got my daughter!

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[repeated line]

Carl Showalter I'm not gonna debate you.

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Escort So, are you from around here?

Carl Showalter Just in town on business. Just in and out.

[chuckles]

Carl Showalter Just a little of the old in-and-out!

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Carl Showalter Oh, fuck it, I don't have to talk, either, man! See how you like it. Just total fuckin' silence. Two can play at that game, smart guy. We'll just see how you like it. Total silence.

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Carl Showalter You know, it's proven that second-hand smoke is, uh, carcin-... uh, you know, cancer related.

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Shep Proudfoot [to Carl after he inadvertently put a police chief on Shep's trail who's an ex-con] Fuckin' asshole!

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Jean Lundegaard [chopping vegetables] Hiya, hon! Welcome back! How was Fargo?

Jerry Lundegaard Yah, real good now.

Jean Lundegaard Dad's here.

[Jerry's mood changes as he hears this news]

Jerry Lundegaard Is he stayin' for supper then?

Jean Lundegaard I dunno... I think so. Dad?

Wade Gustafson What?

Jean Lundegaard [thick Minnesota accent] You stayin' for supperrrrr?

Wade Gustafson Yah!

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[repeated line]

Marge Gunderson Oh yah!

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Carl Showalter [banging on the TV] Come on, plug me into the ozone, baby, come on!

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[repeated line]

Wade Gustafson No Jean, no money!

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Escort Count your Dollar Bills!

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Marge Gunderson [sitting up in bed, while Norm lies next to her, sleeping] Norm?

Norm Gunderson [Norm wakes up] Yeah, Marge?

Marge Gunderson I'm turning in now.

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Jerry Lundegaard I'm in a bit of trouble...

Carl Showalter What kind of trouble are you in, Jerry?

Jerry Lundegaard Well, that's, that's... I'm not gonna go into, inta... see, I just need money.

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Carl Showalter Whoa. Whoa Daddy.

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José Feliciano It goes like this.

[singing]

José Feliciano Let's find each other tonight, Everything will be alright, Don't hesitate now, Let's find each other tonight...

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Marge Gunderson I'm a police officer from up Brainerd investigating some malfeasance and I was just wondering if you've had any new vehicles stolen off the lot in the past couple of weeks - specifically a tan Cutlass Ciera? Mr. Lundegaard?

Jerry Lundegaard Brainerd?

Marge Gunderson Yah. Yah. Home a Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox.

Jerry Lundegaard Babe the Blue Ox.

[forced laugh]

Marge Gunderson Yah, you know we've got the big statue there. So, you haven't had any vehicles go missin', then?

Jerry Lundegaard No. No, ma'am.

Marge Gunderson Okey-dokey, thanks a bunch. I'll let you get back to your paperwork, then.

[knocks on Jerry's desk]

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Marge Gunderson [on the phone] Oh, my. Where? Yeah? Oh, geez. I'll be there in a jif.

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Marge Gunderson Geez. Well - geez. That's a surprise.

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Officer Olson Hiya, Norm. How ya doin', Margie? How's the fricasse?

Marge Gunderson Pretty darn good, ya want some?

Officer Olson No, I gotta - hey, Norm, I thought you was goin' ice fishin' up at Mille Lacs?

Norm Gunderson Yah, after lunch.

Officer Olson Ah.

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Marge Gunderson It sounds like you're doin' really super!

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Marge Gunderson Hiya, Lou. Woo! Whatcha got there?

Lou Margie. Thought you might need a little warm-up.

[hands her a cup of coffee]

Marge Gunderson Thanks a bunch. So what's the deal, now? Gary says triple homicide?

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Fargo Movie Quotes