[first lines]
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Fannie Brice
I'm a bagel on a plate full of onion rolls!
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Fanny Brice
Where I come from, when two people... well, sort of love each other... oh, never mind.
Nick Arnstein
Well? What do they do when they "sort of love each other"?
Fanny Brice
Well, one of them says, "Why don't we get married?"
Nick Arnstein
Really?
Fanny Brice
Yeah, and sometimes it's even the man.
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Fanny Brice
He's a gentleman. A gentleman fits in anyplace.
Rose Brice
A sponge fits in anyplace.
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Rose Brice
When you look at him, you only see what you want to see.
Fanny Brice
I see him as he is. I love him as he is!
Rose Brice
Fanny. Love him a little less. Help him a little more.
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Nick Arnstein
[Nicky Arnstein has just ordered "filet de boeuf, sauce bordelaise" in French]
Fanny Brice
I would have ordered roast beef and potatoes.
Nick Arnstein
I did.
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Florenz Ziegfeld
Miss Brice, do I have to remind you this is my theatre?
Fanny Brice
So what, nobody argues with the landlord?
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Rose Brice
What kind of mother would name a boy Florence?
Eddie Ryan
It's Florenz-zzz
Rose Brice
What kind of mother would name a boy Florenz-zzzzzz?
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Fanny Brice
"No law against waiting," I said, "people do it all the time." For once, I didn't say too much, I didn't say too little, I said just what I said and then walked.
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Fanny Brice
You could get lonesome being that free.
Nick Arnstein
You could get lonesome being that busy.
Fanny Brice
Now who'd think to look at us that we got the same problem!
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Nick Arnstein
I'd be happy to wait while you change.
Fanny
I'd have to change too much, nobody could wait that long.
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Nick Arnstein
So long, funny girl.
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Mrs. Strakosh
[referring to Nick Arnstein]
Candidly, Mrs. Brice, that's one good-looking fella.
Rose Brice
Hmm... gorgeous. Like Fanny's papa, my ex. Also gorgeous. Wherever he is... he should only stay there.
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Fanny Brice
Flo! Flo, quit yelling or your ulcer will flare up.
Florenz Ziegfeld
That's funny coming from you, you gave me that ulcer!
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Fanny Brice
You think beautiful girls are going to stay in style forever? I should say not! Any minute now they're going to be out! Finished! Then it'll be my turn!
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Fanny Brice
[said with a thick Jewish accent to the prince during a comedic version of Swan Lake]
Whaddya gonna do, shoot the schwanzs? These lovelies... my beautiful schwanz guyrls? What ah ya, dumb?
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Fanny Brice
If I can't tell when you're ordering roast beef and potatoes, how will I know when you're making advances?
Nick Arnstein
You'll know. I'll be much more direct.
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Fanny Brice
No harm in waiting, I said, people do it everyday... For once, I didn't say too much, I said just enough, and then walked away!
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Fanny Brice
You were wrong, Mrs. Strakosh.
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Florenz Ziegfeld
Flo! Flo, quit yelling or your ulcer will flare up. That's funny coming from you, you gave me that ulcer!
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Nick Arnstein
Fanny, I... I've had months to think about us.
Fanny Brice
You want to hear something funny? I've had the same months, and I never thought about us. I mean... I simmered, I stewed, I cried my eyes out... but I never really thought, not until today. Then I saw that you were right. You did a lot for me, Nick. That's what I'm going to remember.
Nick Arnstein
What did I ever gave you darling? What did I ever give you that you couldn't have gotten yourself?
Fanny Brice
[referring to the blue marble egg on her makeup table]
A blue marble egg. No one would have given me that but you. And you... you made me feel sort of beautiful for a very long time.
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