Ambrose Bierce
My singular critique of the Good Book is that its covers are too far apart.
Mary Newlie
Excuse me?
Ambrose Bierce
I am of the opinion that the, uh, Bible is perhaps, the greatest assemblage of lies and untruths ever gathered together, with the possible exception of the Congressional record.
Mary Newlie
Are you an atheist, sir?
Ambrose Bierce
Yes, ma'am. Thanks to your God, I am an athiest.
Mary Newlie
Then there is no hope for your soul on the final day. When Gabriel blows his horn, your ears will be deaf to the resounding tone of its glory, Mr. Bierce.
Ambrose Bierce
Oh no. On the contrary, when Gabriel blows his horn, I shall be playing the tuba.