[last lines]
Rod Williams
I mean, I told you not to go in that house. I mean...
Chris Washington
How you find me?
Rod Williams
I'm TS-motherfuckin'-A. We handle shit. That's what we do. Consider this situation fuckin' handled.
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Rose Armitage
You know I can't give you the keys, right, babe?
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Commercial Voiceover
A mind is a terrible thing to waste.
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Missy Armitage
Now, sink into the floor.
Chris Washington
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Missy Armitage
Sink. - - - Now, you're in the sunken place.
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Jim Hudson
I want your eye, man. I want those things you see through.
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Chris Washington
He's different.
Rod Williams
No shit! Why is he dressed like that?
Chris Washington
It's not that, it's everything. He came to the party with a white woman like 30 years older than him.
Rod Williams
Sex slave! Oh, shit! Chris, you gotta get the fuck up outta there, man! You in some 'Eyes Wide Shut' situation. *Leave*, motherfuck -
[cell phone line goes dead]
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Rod Williams
[to Detective Latoya and two other detectives]
Then he sent me some weird pictures. I'm like, "Ah man, that's Andre Hayworth." This dude's been missing for 6 months, right? So I do all my research, you know, 'cause as a TSA agent. You know, you guys are detectives. You know, I got the same training. We might know more than y'all sometimes, you know, 'cause we are dealing with some terrorist shit, so... but that's a totally different story. So look, I-I go do my... my detective work, right? And I start putting pieces together. And see, this is what I came up with. They're probably abducting black people, brainwashing them and making them slaves... or sex slaves. Not just regular slaves, but sex slaves and shit. See? I don't know if it's the hypnosis that's making 'em slaves or what not, but all I know is they already got two brothas we know and there could be a whole bunch of brothas they got already. What's the next move?
[after a few seconds, the three detectives look at each other and burst out hysterically in laughter]
Detective Latoya
Don't ever, ever say that I don't do nothing anymore.
[still laughing]
Detective Latoya
Oh, white girls. They get you every time.
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Rose Armitage
You were one of my favorites.
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Dean Armitage
You know what I say? I say one down, a couple hundred thousand to go. I don't mean to get on my high horse, but I'm telling you, I do not like the deer. I'm sick of it; they're taking over. They're like rats. They're destroying the ecosystem. I see a dead deer on the side of the road and I think, "That's a start."
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Detective Latoya
Different how?
Rod Williams
[shows picture that Chris sent him]
This dude is from Brooklyn, huh. He didn't dress like this.
Detective Latoya
I didn't use to dress like this.
Rod Williams
Plus, he is married to a white woman twice his age.
Detective Latoya
That would explain the clothes... All right.
[laughs]
Detective Latoya
Oh Lord, Rod Williams from TSA.
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Chris Washington
I got hypnotized last night.
Rod Williams
Nigga, get the fuck outta here!
Chris Washington
No. Yo, yo, yeah it's to quit smoking. But Rose's mom's a psychiatrist, so...
Rod Williams
Bro, I don't care if the bitch is Iyanla Vanzant, okay? She can't fix my motherfuckin' life. You ain't getting in my head.
Chris Washington
I know, she caught me off guard, right? But it's cool because... I'm cured. It worked!
Rod Williams
Bro, how you not scared of this, man? Look they could have made you do all types of stupid shit. They have you fuckin' barking like a dog. Flyin' around like you a fuckin' pigeon, lookin' ridiculous. Okay? Or, I don't know if you know this. But, white people love making people sex slaves and shit.
Chris Washington
Yeah, I'm pretty sure they are not a kinky sex family, dawg.
Rod Williams
Look, Jeffrey Dahmer was eatin' the shit out of niggas' heads. Okay? But that was after he fucked the heads. Do you think they saw that shit comin'? Hell no! Okay? They were coming over there like "I'm just gonna suck a little dick, maybe jiggle some balls or shit." No! They didn't get a chance to jiggle shit because their head was off their fuckin' body! Yeah, they still sucked the dick, but without their heads. It was fuckin' weird detached heads shit. You know, that's Jeffrey Dahmer's business.
Chris Washington
Thanks for that image right there, man.
Rod Williams
Hey man, I ain't makin' this shit up. I saw it on A&E. That is real life.
Chris Washington
Yo, and the black people out here too. It's like all of them missed the movement.
Rod Williams
It's because they probably hypnotized. Look bro, all I'm doin' is connectin' the dots. I'm takin' what you presented to me, okay? I'm gonna tell you this, I think that mom is puttin' everybody in a trance and she's fuckin' the shit out of 'em.
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Dean Armitage
By the way, I would have voted for Obama for a third term, if I could. Best President in my lifetime, hands down.
Chris Washington
I agree.
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Chris Washington
It's fine. I wasn't trying to snitch.
Georgina
Snitch?
Chris Washington
Rat you out.
Chris Washington
Yeah.
Georgina
Oh, don't you worry about that. I can assure you, I don't answer to anyone.
Chris Washington
Right. All I know is sometimes, if there's too many white folks, I get nervous, you know.
Georgina
[stops smiling, smiles again, tear rolls down her face, laughs]
Oh, no. No. No! No, no. No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no. Aren't you something. That's not my experience. Not at all. The Armitages are so good to us. They treat us like family.
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Rod Williams
I'm mad at you because you never take my advice.
Chris Washington
Like what?
Rod Williams
Like don't go to a white girl's parents' house. What is she doin'? Lickin' your balls or somethin'?
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Chris Washington
Do they know I'm - Do they know I'm black?
Rose Armitage
No. Should they?
Chris Washington
It seems like something you might want to, you know, mention.
Rose Armitage
Mom and Dad, my black boyfriend will be coming up this weekend and I just don't want you to be shocked that he's a black man - a black.
Chris Washington
So, I was the first black guy you ever dated.
Rose Armitage
Yeah, so what?
Chris Washington
Yeah, so this is uncharted territory for them. You know, I don't want to get chased off the lawn with a shotgun.
Rose Armitage
You're not going to. First of all, my Dad would have voted for Obama a third time if he could've. Like, the love is so real.
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Dean Armitage
You're gonna love this. My Dad's claim to fame. He was beat by Jesse Owens in the qualifying round for the Berlin Olympics in 1936. Those were the ones where...
Chris Washington
Where Owens won in front of Hitler.
Dean Armitage
Yeah, what a moment. What a moment. I mean, Hitler was up there with all those perfect Aryan race bullshit. This black dude comes along and proves him wrong in front of the entire world. Amazing!
Chris Washington
Tough break for your Dad, though.
Dean Armitage
Yeah, he almost got over it.
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Jim Hudson
Please don't lump me in with that, you know, I could give a shit what color you are. No, what I want is deeper. I want your eye, man. I want those things you see through.
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Jim Hudson
I used to dabble myself. Wilderness mostly. I submitted to Nat Geo 14 times before realizing I didn't have the eye. I began dealing. Then, of course, my vision went to shit.
Chris Washington
Damn.
Jim Hudson
I know. Life can be a sick joke. One day you're developing prints in the dark room and the next day you wake up - in the dark. Genetic disease.
Chris Washington
Shit ain't fair, man.
Jim Hudson
Oh, you got that right! Shit ain't fair.
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Jim Hudson
Believe me, the irony of being a blind art dealer isn't lost on me.
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Chris Washington
I didn't get to met you, actually, up close. I'm Chris.
Walter
I know who you are. She is lovely, isn't she?
Chris Washington
Rose? Yes, she is.
Walter
One of a kind. Top of the line! A real doggone keeper.
[laughs]
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Jim Hudson
Ignorants.
Chris Washington
Who?
Jim Hudson
All of 'em. They mean well, but they have no idea what real people will go through.
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Lisa Deets
[to Rose after gazing at Chris' crotch]
So, is it true? Is it better?
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Georgina
I owe you an apology. How rude of me to have touched your belongs without asking.
Chris Washington
Oh, no. That's cool. I was just confused.
Georgina
Well, I can assure you, there was no - funny business.
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[as Logan and his wife leave]
Dean Armitage
Yes, yeah, let's get this party back on track. How about sparklers and BINGO.
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Dean Armitage
What is your purpose, Chris?
Chris Washington
What?
Dean Armitage
In life. What is your purpose?
Chris Washington
Right now, it's finding those keys.
Dean Armitage
Fire. It's a reflection of our own mortality. We're born, we breathe, and we die.
Chris Washington
Rose?
Rose Armitage
I'm looking.
Dean Armitage
Even the sun will die someday. But, we are divine. We are the gods trapped in cocoons.
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Chris Washington
You're all I got. I'm not going to leave here without you. I'm not going to abandon you here.
Rose Armitage
You're not?
Chris Washington
No. No, not. No.
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Parker Dray
Fair skin has been in favor for, what, the past hundreds of years. But, now the pendulum has swung back. Black is in fashion!
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Roman Armitage
Behold, the Coagula.
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Gordon Greene
You ever play golf?
Chris Washington
Once. A few years ago. I wasn't very good.
Emily Greene
Gordon was a professional golfer for years!
Gordon Greene
Well, I can't quite swing the hips like I used to, though. But, I do know Tiger!
Rose Armitage
Oh, that's great.
Emily Greene
Gordon loves Tiger.
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Missy Armitage
[stirring a spoon in her tea]
We do use focal points sometimes to guide someone to a state of heightened suggestibility.
Chris Washington
Heightened suggestibility?
Missy Armitage
That's right. That's right!
[continues to stir a spoon in her tea]
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Chris Washington
She lay there bleeding by the side of the road. Cold and alone. That's how she died in the early morning. Cold and alone. And I was watching TV.
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Chris Washington
What the fuck?
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