Sisters Movie Quotes
Kate Ellis
Hey. Lollapazuzu, I'm partying now. You ready for me?
Pazuzu
I've been ready. My safe word is "keep going".
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Kate Ellis
We are looking for... to buy drugs.
Pazuzu
What'chu want? I got ketamine, MDMA, Adderall, Bromo-Dragonfly, heroin, coke, crack, codeine, oxys, percs, vikes, PCP, LSD, Dilaudid, mescaline, mushrooms, bath salts, cortisone, Toradol. I got molly. I got her sister Sandra. I got big Frank. I got birth control, I got Plan B. I got that morphine from China they took off the market. Shit to make your dick hard, shit to make your dick soft, shit'll find your dick. That shit there's from Kenya, supposed to be a scurvy cure for silverback gorillas but for humans it just makes them violently masturbate. Did I say crack? because I got more of that, too. I got some Ibuprofen, Aspirin. I got Flintstone Gummies if you want.
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Maura Ellis
[the sisters are clothes shopping for the party]
We need a little less Forever 21 and a little more Suddenly 42.
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Kate Ellis
Do you have any kids?
Pazuzu
I'm sure I do.
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Kate Ellis
You're so full of shit, I'm gonna buy you Pull-Ups.
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James
Is it past the tutu?
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Kate Ellis
What fresh fuckery is this?
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Kate Ellis
You can't start with 'Mony Mony'. That's like starting with anal.
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Kate Ellis
What kind of last name is Geernt? Geernt. Sounds like a queef on a yoga ball.
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Pazuzu
Fuck this shit! I'm not going to work tomorrow. TSA can kiss my ass!
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[Brinda has crashed Kate and Maura's party and is talking to James, whom Maura has a crush on]
Kate Ellis
Are you serious? 'Cause I am straight-up baffled.
Brinda
I'm sorry?
Kate Ellis
I believe you called this party "a sad and desperate event"?
Brinda
Well, I just figured I'd pop in and say hello to everyone. I mean, we're all adults now, right?
Kate Ellis
Nice try. On your bike, bitch.
Maura Ellis
[whimpers]
Kate Ellis
Get your peanut butter outta my sister's chocolate.
Brinda
Wow.
Kate Ellis
I respect your jumpsuit, but not its contents. Hit it.
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Maura Ellis
[the sisters have visited their parents uninvited only to realize that they are otherwise engaged]
Did we just cock block our parents?
Kate Ellis
They were fresh off the sex griddle!
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Brinda
Everyone say a non-denominational silent prayer to themselves, please.
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Maura's Patient
No, I don't need lotion in there!
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James
A house is just a building, home is a feeling.
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Maura Ellis
I've been thinking...
Kate Ellis
Why?
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Kate Ellis
I'm not a hothead, I'm brassy!
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Alex
Hey I'm sorry, hold on one second, hold on one second.
[Pretends to answer phone call during party]
Alex
Mom?
Hae-Won
Oh, my god!
Alex
Yeah. I'll be right there.
[Onlooking party-goers groan]
Alex
I'm kidding!
[All laughing]
Alex
But thanks for finally laughing, you fucking assholes!
[laughs]
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Maura Ellis
How can one person have two colonoscopy stories?
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Kate Ellis
I wish being gay was a choice, because I always did like that shorts and boots look.
Maura Ellis
Yeah I dunno, for me the deal breaker might be the eating of the pussy.
Kate Ellis
Oh really? 'Cause for me, it would just be the fucking unbearable amount of talking.
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Brinda
Winter is coming, bitches!
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Maura Ellis
Can I borrow me your bathroom? Number one only.
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Maura Ellis
Blue? What would possess a person to paint stained wood blue? What, were you raised on a tugboat?
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Maura Ellis
I don't wear thongs. I have a very fussy taint.
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Kate Ellis
You know, I never met a Brayla before.
Brayla
I know like three.
Kate Ellis
Oh, so you're trending. God bless.
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Maura Ellis
E-A-T... S-H-I-T.
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Alex
I can feel my hair growing!
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Maura Ellis
We are on the way to a shelter to give people this party food.
Brinda
Oh, is that why you're dressed like the homeless?
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Kate Ellis
Kelly. Your profile pic is a low-fat Mexican casserole.
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[Unrated version only]
Kate Ellis
Oh, I'm so sorry that you couldn't get laid for the last five millionth time in your life.
Maura Ellis
Oh, I get! I get my fucking dick when I want to.
Kate Ellis
I know you get tons of dick!
Maura Ellis
Just not tonight and not recently.
Kate Ellis
Mmmm-hmmm.
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Kelly
We did it, you guys. We stopped time!
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Kate Ellis
There's a drunk, blind guy swinging a gun around!
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Alex
Okay, guys, can you guess who I am? Ready? "You wanna play rough? Okay. Say hello to my little friend!"
Liz
Cheech! No, Chong.
Alex
No, no, no. "Say hello to my little friend!"
[sprays glue gun]
Rob
Tim Allen.
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Kate Ellis
We're grown-ups! We don't have to clean up after ourselves.
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Maura Ellis
Maura Ellis, Kate Ellis: Fuck the haters!
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Mr. Geernt
My apologies. I was worried you were having a party, but I see now you really are having a wake.
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[Unrated edition only]
Kate Ellis
Why don't you go drive yourself to fucking Petco and find a fucking husband? Or go breastfeed a squirrel, you sad excuse for a woman.
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