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Kinoafisha Films Puss in Boots: The Last Wish Puss in Boots: The Last Wish Movie Quotes

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish Movie Quotes

The Big Bad Wolf I was there to witness all of them. Each frivolous end. But you didn't even notice me, because Puss in Boots laughs in the face of death, right? But you're not laughing now.

Puss in Boots You are no bounty hunter. You are...

The Big Bad Wolf Death. And I don't mean it metaphorically or rhetorically or poetically or theoretically or any other fancy way. I'M DEATH. STRAIGHT UP! And I've come for you, Puss in Boots.

Puss in Boots But... I'm still alive...

The Big Bad Wolf [chuckles] You know, I'm not really a cat person. I find the very idea of NINE lives absurd.

[angrily]

The Big Bad Wolf And you didn't value ANY of them. So why don't I do us both a favor, and take this last one now?

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Puss in Boots I know I can never defeat you, Lobo. But I will never stop fighting for this life.

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[Puss remembers his time with Kitty and Perrito]

The Big Bad Wolf What's the matter? Lives flashing before your eyes?

Puss in Boots No... just one. I'm done running.

[Puss drops the Wishing Star map and picks up his sword]

Puss in Boots [points his sword at the Wolf] FEAR ME IF YOU DARE!

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Goldilocks [to Kitty] I thought you were on a spiritual retreat.

Kitty Softpaws Namaste.

Goldilocks And you're supposed to be dead!

Puss in Boots I got better?

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Ethical Bug That was horrible! Your wish is horrible! *You're* horrible! You're an irredeemable monster!

Jack Horner [mockingly] Wha-wha! What took you so long, IDIOT?

[Jack flicks the Ethical Bug off his shoulder]

Jack Horner [sighs in annoyance before turning to the last surviving member of the Baker's Dozen] You're not chatty, are you?

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Puss in Boots Okay, okay, one more number. I call this one, "The Legend Will Never Di..."

[a huge bell falls on him]

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[last lines]

Perrito Where to, Puss?

Puss in Boots To new adventures and old friends.

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[last words]

Jack Horner [trapped in the wishing star] What did I do to deserve this? I mean, what specifically...?

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Puss in Boots Um... meow?

[the cats are shocked]

Ohhh Cat Ohhh...

Puss in Boots What? Did I say something salty? It's my second language.

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Perrito I'm Puss's best friend!

Puss in Boots No, he isn't!

Perrito And his therapy dog.

Puss in Boots Definitely not!

Kitty Softpaws Finally! You need therapy!

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Baby Bear Oy, you shut up you little mutt, or I'll cut you from pooper to snooter!

Perrito [gasps in excitement] I'm in the mix now! Okay, okay, here we go! You're all a bunch of... knuckle-dragging, honey-scrounging, grump-

[bleeped]

Perrito , oafish-

[bleeped]

Perrito ,

[bleeped]

Perrito -munching, mangy

[bleeped]

Perrito , nugget

[bleeped]

Perrito , and YOUR snooter!

[bursts out laughing]

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Puss in Boots [hears the Wolf's whistle] He's here for me.

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Kitty Softpaws [looks in the sky] I hate to say it... but should we make a wish?

Puss in Boots Kitty, one life spent with you is all I could ever wish for.

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[Puss meets his past eight lives]

Puss in Boots You guys are jerks, which makes this very conflicting for me!

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Puss in Boots [at a litterbox] So, this is where dignity goes to die.

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Puss in Boots [courts a lady] Hola, señorita. Do you like gazpacho?

[gets crushed by a stampeding bull]

Puss in Boots [wins a poker game with dogs by cheating] This is not your night, huh, fellas?

[the dogs tear him apart]

Puss in Boots [drunk] A cat always lands on its feet. Watch!

[walks off a tower]

Puss in Boots [about to weight-lift] No, Puss in Boots does not need a spotter. Watch!

[gets crushed]

Puss in Boots [about to be fired from a cannon] This will revolutionize travel. Watch!

[he is blown up]

Puss in Boots [his face swollen from eating seafood] Excuse me, does this have shellfish in it?

[keeps eating]

Puss in Boots [cooking] I am a master of the baking. Watch!

[opens a hot oven and is burned to death]

Puss in Boots And then there was the giant.

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Puss in Boots Welcome! Mi casa es su casa!

Governor No, su casa es *mi* casa!

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The Big Bad Wolf [to Puss] My compliments to your cobbler.

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Puss in Boots Say hello to my gatito blade.

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Ethical Bug You're not gonna shoot a puppy, are you, Jack?

Jack Horner Yeah, in the face, why?

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Jack Horner I'll get you, my kitties, and your little dog too.

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Puss in Boots Pray for mercy from... Puss in Boots!

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Baby Bear 'Ey, I'm gonna bust you up, plum-thumb! And then I'm gonna wear your clothes!

Jack Horner That was weird.

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The Big Bad Wolf Well, well. If it isn't Puss in Boots himself.

[chuckling]

The Big Bad Wolf In the flesh!

Puss in Boots Uh, hey.

The Big Bad Wolf There's the famous hat, the feather and, of course, the boots.

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Baby Bear You crimin' us? After we crimed you? No, no crime backs!

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Puss in Boots Hey, you wanna see something cool?

[a huge bell slams into the Giant's face]

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Kitty Softpaws [Regarding Puss' beard] What is this? Are you a pirate now?

Puss in Boots I think it looks... distinguished.

Kitty Softpaws It looks like a possum crawled on your face and died. Of shame.

Puss in Boots Please mock me quietly.

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Mama Luna I told you health department people, there are no cats here!

Goldilocks Make her talk.

[Papa Bear goes near Mama Luna and growls in her face]

Papa Bear Excuse me, my darling. We're looking for the legendary Puss in Boots. Have you perhaps... seen him?

Goldilocks Too soft.

Mama Bear [uses her claw to her nasal] Out with it, you old biddy, or I'll have your guts for garters.

[Mama Luna faints]

Goldilocks Too hard! That was not just right! Oi, Baby, sniff him out.

Baby Bear You don't tell me what to do.

Mama Bear Listen to your sister, Baby.

Baby Bear Oh, she's not my sister! She's a fugitive orphan.

Papa Bear [slaps Baby Bear] She is your sister. Do what she says.

Baby Bear Fine, but all I can smell... is cats' pee.

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Perrito Okay, Kitty, I think I've got it now.

[tries to do cute eyes, but starts bulging his eye]

Perrito Trust me!

Kitty Softpaws Easy, easy. You're gonna give yourself a hernia. Here, one more time. Like this.

[shows cute eyes]

Kitty Softpaws Trust me.

Perrito Aw. But of course I trust you and Puss, even without the eyes.

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Gingy Puss, I think you set the oven too high!

Puss in Boots I am a master of the baking. Watch.

[opens the oven door, fire explodes out and Gingy screams]

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The Big Bad Wolf I came here for an arrogant little legend who thought he was immortal.

[sighs]

The Big Bad Wolf But I don't see him anymore.

[puts away his scythes]

The Big Bad Wolf Live your life, Puss in Boots. Live it well. You know we will meet again, right?

Puss in Boots Si, hasta la muerte.

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Puss in Boots [after he buries his outfit at Mama Luna's] We are gathered here today to say goodbye to Puss in Boots. There are no words to express such a loss. Thank you.

[walks away, then comes back]

Puss in Boots But it would be a crime not to try. He was known across the land by many names. The Stabby Tabby. El Macho Gato. The Leche Whisperer. To some, an outlaw. To more, a hero. To all, a legend. I was right. Words were not enough.

[walks away once again, then comes back]

Puss in Boots But perhaps a song. Who is your favorite fearless hero?

[starts crying]

Puss in Boots Who is your favorite fearless hero? You were, you were.

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Puss in Boots [Perrito's tail keeps thumping him] Do you mind? I'm trying to eat here. I mean, meow. Whatever.

Perrito Oh, sorry.

[gasps excitedly]

Perrito You're a talking cat. *I'm* a talking cat. Let's talk!

Puss in Boots [sighs] I'd rather eat.

Perrito Oh, not a problem. We can eat and talk at the same time.

Puss in Boots No hablo English.

Perrito [in Spanish] You speak Spanish? Me too! Where are you from? Do you like naps?

Puss in Boots I don't speak Spanish either.

Perrito [laughs] You're funny.

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Puss in Boots Without my nine lives, I'm not... I'm not...

Kitty Softpaws What, "The Legend"? I knew I couldn't compete with your true love.

[Throws the map at him]

Kitty Softpaws Here, get your lives back. Just keep them away from mine.

Puss in Boots Kitty! Death is after me!

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Puss in Boots What could they possibly want to offer Puss in Boots?

Perrito What's a Puss in Boots?

Puss in Boots Seriously?

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Perrito Wanna rub my belly?

Puss in Boots What-what's happening?

Perrito Rub!

Puss in Boots Hard pass.

Perrito Come on, rub! I need the practice. I'm gonna be a therapy dog someday.

Puss in Boots What the hell are you talking about?

Perrito I'm glad you asked. When people feel bad, they can rub my belly. It'll make 'em feel better.

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Kitty Softpaws You know, when you said Death was after you, I thought you were just being melodramatic.

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Jack Horner Don't you know I'm Dead Inside?

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Goldilocks Give us the map, or else the baker man gets it!

Jack Horner I don't even have the map, Little Bo Creep.

[Goldilocks throws the man at Jack]

Jack Horner Stop throwing my men at me!

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Goldilocks So long, ya plonkers!

Kitty Softpaws [In Spanish] I'm going to make you all into bath mats!

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Mama Bear [watching Goldi's memories] Oh, this was it.

Goldilocks What was it, Mama?

Mama Bear The day a little orphan girl broke into our cabin and stole our hearts. The day when our world became just right.

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Pinocchio Cause, I'm a real boy! No strings attached!

[cheering]

Pinocchio Thank you, thank you.

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Ethical Bug There's good in everyone! There's good in everyone!

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Kitty Softpaws [In Spanish] Where did that idiot and his dog go?

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Little Boy Papa, he stepped on my face!

Little Boy's Father And we will never wash it again

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Little Boy [the giant picks him up] Whee! I'm flying!

Puss in Boots No, you are not flying. I will save you!

Governor [also gets picked up by the giant] Save me, too!

Puss in Boots If it's convenient.

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The Big Bad Wolf [in Spanish] Why the hell did I go and play with my food?

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Perrito I'm supposed to be a fearless hero; a legend, but without lives to spare, I am... nothing. I need that wish to get my lives back.

Perrito You should tell Kitty. She would understan...

Puss in Boots No, no, no, no. She cannot hear of this.

Perrito [confused] Okay?

Kitty Softpaws [grunts in anger] ¿Adónde fueron ese idiota y su perro?

Puss in Boots Kitty will never trust me again; not after Santa Coloma.

Perrito But that's just one bad heist.

Puss in Boots Santa Coloma wasn't a heist, Perrito. It was a church, with a priest, and guests... and Kitty. Everything but me. I ran away, then, too.

Perrito Oh...

[begins to understand]

Perrito Oh.

[gasps in realization]

Perrito OH!

[whispers]

Perrito You left her at the altar?

Puss in Boots It was wrong, I know. I am ashamed. I just wish I hadn't hurt her so badly. I regret that day.

Perrito So... maybe you should tell that to Kitty. Might make her feel better. Might make you feel better, too.

Kitty Softpaws [calling out] Puss? Dog? Oh, there you are.

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The Big Bad Wolf Pick it up. Pick. It. Up.

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[Puss is at the Wishing Star, preparing to make his wish]

Puss in Boots Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish...

Kitty Softpaws I can't believe I fell for it again.

Puss in Boots Kitty, you don't understand.

Kitty Softpaws Don't understand what? That you've been playing me this whole time?

Puss in Boots I need this wish.

Kitty Softpaws Oh, yeah? You wanna know what *my* wish was? Someone, *anyone* I could trust.

[Kitty swipes the map from Puss and points her Gatito Blade at him]

Puss in Boots Hey!

Kitty Softpaws In my whole life, I've never had that, but I thought I finally found that someone, without a wish. I thought it was you, but you're still running, still the same old Puss in Boots.

Puss in Boots But I am not, I am not Puss in Boots. I am.. I am on my last life. I need to get my lives back. Without them, I am not... I am *not*...

Kitty Softpaws What? The legend?

[chuckles sadly]

Kitty Softpaws I still can't compete with your one true love. Go on. Get your lives back.

[Puss gasps as he grabs the map]

Kitty Softpaws Just keep them out of mine.

Perrito [whimpers]

Puss in Boots kitty! Death Is After Me!

Kitty Softpaws [confused] What?

Jack Horner I've been called a lot of things... but never Death. I like it. That's *my* wish!

Mama Bear Oi! That's Goldi's wish!

[Goldi, Papa Bear and Baby Bear arrive at the Star, as the final battle initiates]

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[after the Wolf almost killed Puss, leaving blood cut on his face, he sniffs the air]

The Big Bad Wolf I just love the smell of *fear*!

[Wolf slowly marches, Puss had flashbacks]

The Big Bad Wolf What's the matter? Lives flashing before your eyes?

[Wolf kicks Puss' sword to in front of him]

The Big Bad Wolf Pick it up. Pick... it... up.

[Puss runs to the bathroom in fear and slams the door. Wolf begins whistling his tune, Puss locks himself in there. Wolf uses the sickle to break the door open, sees Puss gone]

The Big Bad Wolf Corre, corre, gatito.

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Ethical Bug [to Jack while riding the phoenix and holding a ripped piece of the Wishing Star map] You looking for something? Consider this my resignation mister!

[He uses the phoenix to burn the piece, causing the entire map to disintegrate]

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Jack Horner Now, about your payment.

Jan Serpent Hold up. You promised us our weight in gold.

Jack Horner I did, didn't I? Ever hear of the Midas Touch?

Jo Serpent Ah, cool, dibs!

[she grabs the Midas Touch and begins to turn into solid gold]

Jo Serpent Oh, no. I misjudged the situation!

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Puss in Boots Okay, just get in and get out. Easy peasy.

Perrito [appears next to Puss] Lemon squeezy!

Puss in Boots Aah! What are you doing here?

Perrito I brought you a sword.

Puss in Boots That's not a sword, that's a stick!

Perrito It's a stick sword!

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Jack Horner I hate talking fairy tale animals.

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Jack Horner Kitty Softpaws. My, you have a lot of nerve coming back here.

Kitty Softpaws Please. I was the best thief you ever hired.

Jack Horner You robbed me!

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The Big Bad Wolf [In Spanish] Run, run, kitty.

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Perrito What's going on with you, Puss?

Puss in Boots I... I am down to my last life, and uh, I... I am afraid.

Perrito Well... it's okay to be afraid.

Puss in Boots No, not for Puss in Boots. I-I'm supposed to be a fearless hero, a legend. But... without lives to spare, I am... nothing.

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Kitty Softpaws Why are you so ridiculous, dog? What's your story?

Perrito My story? Oh, it's actually a very funny story.

[laughs]

Perrito Back when I was a pup, me and my litter mates lived with a family. A family full of pranksters who liked to play hide-and-seek, and I was always "it". Pick on the little guy, am I right?

Perrito They tried putting me in a packing crate, a dumpster. No matter how hard they tried, I'd always find them. So one day, they get creative and they put me in a sock with a rock in it.

[laughs]

Perrito And then throw me in a river!

[falls over laughing]

Perrito I gnawed a hole in the sock and I swam to the surface.

[Puss and Kitty look horrified]

Perrito Never found them or my litter mates, so I guess I'm still "it"!

[laughs]

Kitty Softpaws Wow, that is the saddest funny story I've ever heard.

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Baby Bear Them cats ain't gonna risk their lives for this daft little pup.

Goldilocks You're just saying that because you want to eat him.

Baby Bear I do not. I just want to pet him with my teeth.

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Kitty Softpaws You know what trust gets you? A sock, a rock and a swim in the river.

Perrito You have to trust somebody, right?

Kitty Softpaws Not me. Uh-uh. Whenever I've let my guard down, I've been double-crossed, declawed, played and betrayed. Never again. I am a solo act. I keep my secrets and I play my cards close. That's how you get a winning hand. Take it from me; never trust anyone.

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Puss in Boots [after being advised to retire by the village doctor/barber] That Doctor is a quack and a crazy man! He should stick to cutting hair!

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Ethical Bug [after the Baker's Dozen fall into the ravine] Sweet mother of goose, Jack!

Jack Horner Well, you know what they say. Can't bake a pie without losing a dozen men.

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Kitty Softpaws Nice granny bag, Little Jack.

Jack Horner It's not granny bag! It is a magic nanny bag.

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The Big Bad Wolf Fear. I just LOVE the smell of fear, it's so intoxicating.

Puss in Boots [Drunk past Puss] It is?

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The Big Bad Wolf Go ahead, run! Makes it more fun for me.

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Baby Bear So what is it, eh? What's your "just right"? What's so blasted important that you've got us stranded in this haunted forest?

Goldilocks I'm getting a family! That's what. A proper family. Then everything will be just right.

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Kitty Softpaws What's your name?

Perrito Oh, I've been called all kinds of things. Dog. Bad Dog. Stupid Dog. Hey You! You There! Get Out! Leave It! Drop It! Big Rat. Small Pig. Rat Face. Butt Nugget.

[beep]

Perrito For Brains. You know, that sort of thing.

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Goldilocks Just give us the map.

Papa Bear And throw in a dozen pies!

Goldilocks Eh?

Mama Bear Ooh, have you got any savory pies?

Goldilocks What?

Baby Bear Yeah, what flavors you got?

Goldilocks N-No!

Mama Bear Can we get all of that in a bag to-go?

Goldilocks Oh, would you stop talking about bloomin' pies? Focus!

[smashes the bottle with the shrunken Lilliputian ship, the people fall out screaming]

Goldilocks Hand over that map, or I'll punch holes in the lot of ya!

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Perrito I live under the porch. It can get a little lonely down there. It's mostly controlled by the rats and the centipedes, but I have my own little corner.

Puss in Boots Congratulations.

Perrito I just come up here for the food and the friends!

[a cat growls and hisses at Perrito]

Perrito Most-mostly the food.

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Mama Luna You think this is the first time I've been stuffed in a piano?

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