The Sure Thing Movie Quotes
Professor Taub
[reading Gib's Paper]
'It could be tonight,' he though as he stood in the corner, pretending to have a good time. He would meet her tonight. All his young life, he had dreamed of a girl like this. 5'6, silky hair, trim, nubile body. Nubile, by the way, is spelled with a "u".
[Continuing]
Professor Taub
Trim, nubile body that really knew how to move. And soft, deeply tanned skin. Now as for personality traits, she needed only one. She had to love sex and all the time. To arrive at this moment, he had traveled vast distances enduring many hardships. Abject poverty, starvation, show tunes, you name it. From across the room, he saw her. She was perfect. He knew almost nothing about her and she didn't know much more about him. It was exactly how it was supposed to be. He brought her to his room. The lights were soft, the moment was right. Then she leaned over and whispered in his ear, 'Do you love me?' Thoughts raced through his mind. Did she really want him? What had he done to deserve this bounty? Does God exist? Who invented liquid soap and why? 'Do you love me?' Staring into her eyes he knew that she really needed to hear it but for the first time in his life, he knew these were no longer just words and if he said it, it would be a lie. 'Do you love me?' she whispered. 'Do you love me?' It would not be tonight. The answer was no.
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Walter (Gib) Gibson
[suddenly appearing from hiding in the back of the pick-up and hopping into the passenger seat]
Thanks for the ride. I've been out here all day. I'm not interrupting anything am I?
Pick-Up Driver
[holding Alison]
Me and the wife just having a little squabble, OK.
Walter (Gib) Gibson
Oh. It's not easy getting rides. Do you know what I mean? I mean most people are real afraid to pick up hitchhikers. I mean you never know who you might pick up. I mean I could be some crazed slime ball. I mean a real deranged, violent psycho. You know what I mean? I mean a guy who would rip out your heart and eat it
[singing]
Walter (Gib) Gibson
just for pleasure.
[maniacally]
Walter (Gib) Gibson
I'm talking about a total maniac! You know what I mean?
[beat]
Walter (Gib) Gibson
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
Pick-Up Driver
[unsettled]
Yeah...
[creepily]
Walter (Gib) Gibson
Don't you want to give me a ride?
Pick-Up Driver
I'm only goin' about another mile.
Walter (Gib) Gibson
[flipping out]
Then what the hell did you pick me up for? You think I got nothing better to do with my life then to sit here and pass the time with you,
[leans over inches away from his face]
Walter (Gib) Gibson
SHIT BRAAAIN!
[sits back]
Walter (Gib) Gibson
I don't think I want this ride after all.
[gets out, then comes back]
Walter (Gib) Gibson
And I think I think I'll take your wife, if you don't mind.
[Gib pulls the relieved Alison out of the pick-up, cackling maniacally]
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Gib
[encounter a padlocked trailer while attempting to get out of the rain]
It's locked! Good! This is very good! It's important that this place should have an air-tight security system... in the middle of nowhere!
Alison
[digs through her bag]
I might have a nail file... I have a credit card. I have a credit card!
Gib
Credit cards work on a completely different kind of lock.
Alison
No, you don't seem to understand. I have a credit card!
Gib
You have a credit card?
Alison
I have a credit card!
Alison
[suddenly crestfallen]
Oh. My dad told me *specifically* I can only use it in case of an emergency.
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Cop
[reading off citations to Gary Cooper]
Indecent exposure, driving as so to endanger...
Gib
...Driving with the load not properly tied down.
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Alison Bradbury
Spontaneity has its time and place.
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Gib
[talks to Alison while she swims]
I flunk English, I'm outta here. Kiss college goodbye. I don't know what I'll do. Dad will be pissed off. Mom will be heartbroken. If I play my cards right, I get maybe a six-month grace period and then I gotta get a job, and you know what that means.
[Alison ignores him]
Gib
That's right, they start me at the drive-up window and I gradually work my way up from shakes to burgers, and then one day my lucky break comes: the french fry guy dies and they offer me the job! But the day I'm supposed to start, some men come by in a black Lincoln Continental and tell me I can make a quick 300 just for driving a van back from Mexico! When I get out of jail I'm 36 years old. Living in a flop house. No job. No home. No upward mobility. Very few teeth. And then one day they find me, face down, talking to the gutter, clutching a bottle of paint thinner. And *why*? Because *you* wouldn't help me in English, no! You were too busy to help me! Too busy to help a drowning man!
[he falls into the pool]
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[after seeing Alison]
Gib's friend
Forget her, I hear she only likes intellectuals
Gib
So? I'm intellectual and stuff.
Gib's friend
You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff.
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Alison
What are you doing?
Gib
I'm going to bed.
Alison
Not with me you're not.
Gib
I'm not going to bed with you, I'm going to bed in a bed you happen to be in also.
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Alison Bradbury
[checking her calendar]
Let's see, Friday. 5:30, dinner. 6:00, Calculus. 7:00, news. 7:30, shower. 7:45, phone call. Eight o'clock?
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Alison
You didn't sleep with her?
Gib
Still seeing Jason?
Alison
Broke up.
Gib
That's too bad.
Alison
You didn't sleep with her.
Gib
Wasn't my type.
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Lady in Car
What are you gonna name it?
Alison Bradbury
What?
Lady in Car
The baby.
Alison Bradbury
[realizing she's faking being pregnant]
Oh, the baby. Well, if it's a girl, Cynthia, and if it's a boy, Elliot.
Lady in Car
Those are lovely names.
Walter (Gib) Gibson
Elliot? You're gonna name the kid Elliot? No, you can't name the kid Elliot. Elliot is a fat kid with glasses who eats paste. You're not gonna name the kid Elliot. You gotta give him a real name. Give him a name. Like Nick.
Alison Bradbury
Nick?
Walter (Gib) Gibson
Yeah, Nick. Nick's a real name. Nick's your buddy. Nick's the kind of guy you can trust, the kind of guy you can drink a beer with, the kind of guy who doesn't mind if you puke in his car, Nick!
[Alison looks disgusted]
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Gib
Sorry I'm late. There was this big problem... and I'm late because of it.
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Gib
You know, I've never met anyone like you before. Usually when I meet someone new I feel awkward and shy. But with you it's different. I can talk to you. You know what I'm thinking without my having to explain to you in fancy terms. We speak each other's unspoken language... fluently. I love you.
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Gib
[opening lines]
Consider outer space. You know, from the time of the first NASA mission, it was clear that outer space has a clear effect on the human psyche. Why, during the first Gemini mission, thought was actually given to sending up a man and a woman... together.
Gib
A cosmic 'Adam and Eve,' if you will. Bound together by fate, situated on the most powerful rocket yet known to man. It's giant thrusters blasting them into the dark void, as they hurtle towards their final destination: the gushing wellspring of life itself.
[she is entranced]
Gib
How would you like to have a sexual encounter so intense it could conceivably change your political views?
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Fat Guy in Bar
What's wrong with me? I'm a good-looking guy.
Gib
You are. You are a good-looking guy. And I'm a good-looking guy.
Fat Guy in Bar
You are.
Gib
I am.
Cowboy Guy
We're all three good-looking guys.
Gib
That's right. We are. And it's Christmas time, and I'm gonna buy you a drink.
Fat Guy in Bar
Something light...
Gib
What, like a nice Chablis?
Fat Guy in Bar
No... Spritzer.
Gib
Spritzer?
Fat Guy in Bar
Yeah.
Gib
Barkeep! Get this man a trough of Spritzer. And you, Cowboy Guy, what do you wanna drink?
Cowboy Guy
I'll have a beer.
Gib
Get Cowboy Guy a beer.
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Professor Taub
[commenting on students' papers]
Miss Bradbury. You, on the other hand, you express your ideas very clearly. Except that, your paper is dry, Alison. There's not enough of *you* coming through. Loosen up, Alison. Have some fun! Yes, sleep when you feel like it, not when you think you should. Eat food that is bad for you - at least once in a while. Have conversations with people whose clothes are not color coordinated.
[class laughs]
Professor Taub
Make love in a hammock!
[class hoots, hollers, and high-fives]
Professor Taub
Life is the ultimate experience, and you have to live it to write about it.
[Alison raises her hand]
Professor Taub
Yes, Alison?
Alison Bradbury
What did you say after "hammock?"
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Gib
[slams Lance against a wall after a conversation with the Sure Thing]
You told her I was a virgin?
Lance
So I exaggerated a little. Girls like virgins. They find them a challenge.
Gib
She thought I was gay!
Lance
It's a bigger challenge.
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Alison
[ranting about Gib]
And you should see the crap he eats! Cheese balls and beer for breakfast!
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Gib
I'm gonna miss you, Lance.
Lance
It's your own fault, you know. You should be coming out to California with me.
Gib
Yeah, right. Get a totally bitchin' education out there, dude. California. You could be coming to New England with me, you know.
Lance
Are you crazy? The Ivy leagues stink. All they got there are those ugly intellectual girls with Band-Aids on their knees from playing the cello. No thank you.
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Walter (Gib) Gibson
[dancing with the Sure Thing, shouting over the loud party music so Alison will hear]
So, what else did Lance say about me?
Walter (Gib) Gibson
What?
[everybody hears, stops and stares at them]
The Sure Thing
I didn't say it, Lance said it!
[the music starts up again]
Walter (Gib) Gibson
[loud]
Excuse me won't you, I have to go and kick the shit out of someone. Just one second.
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Lance's frat brother
Three thousand miles just to get laid. I really respect that.
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Gib
You know, junk food doesn't deserve the bad rap that it gets. Take these pork rinds for example. This particular brand contains two percent of the R.D.A. - that's Recommended Daily Allowance - of riboflavin.
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Gib
What the hell's wrong with being stupid once in awhile? Does everything you do always have to be sensible? Haven't you ever thrown waterballoons off a roof? When you were a little kid didn't you ever sprinkle Ivory flakes on the living room floor 'cause you wanted to make it snow in July? Didn't you ever get really shitfaced and maybe make a complete fool of yourself and still have an excellent time?
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Cowboy Guy
I was in Paris once with my wife... boy am I glad she's dead.
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Trucker
I hope you appreciate the magnitude of your impending good fortune.
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The Sure Thing
Come on, Giblet. One more time. One more time.
Gib
I can't. Tomorrow, I promise.
The Sure Thing
It was so good. It was so masterful. Relentless, but with a delicate touch. Confident. Creative. I was overwhelmed. You're a true artist.
Gib
Just let me sleep a while. Regain my strength. Five minutes. A grace period, if you will.
The Sure Thing
Please.
Gib
Ah, what the heck.
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Gary Cooper
Hi, I'm Gary Cooper, but not the Gary Cooper that's dead.
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Fat Guy in Bar
I had some more fried food for lunch.
[waitress gives him a look]
Fat Guy in Bar
I know, I know, I shouldn't have had it but I just couldn't help myself. Do you think I lack self-discipline?
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Gib
How's this for an opening line: "Did you know that Nietzsche died of syphilis?"
Jimbo
How do you spell zucchini?
Gib
Z-u-c-h-i-n-i. No, Nietzsche's too obscure. Umm... how about: "Did you know that Shakespeare died of syphilis?" No, she probably knows that isn't true. I don't know what to say.
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Lance
Gib, you want a relationship? That's fine. Just remember that every relationship starts with a one night stand. You came 3,000 miles for a reason didn't you? Would you look at that reason. Go for it Gib, you've earned it.
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