Broadcast News Movie Quotes
Paul Moore
It must be nice to always believe you know better, to always think you're the smartest person in the room.
Jane Craig
No. It's awful.
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Aaron Altman
Ok, I'll meet you at the place near the thing where we went that time.
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Aaron Altman
I know you care about him. I've never seen you like this about anyone, so please don't get me wrong when I tell you that Tom, while being a very nice guy, is the Devil.
Jane Craig
This isn't friendship. You're crazy, you know that?
Aaron Altman
What do you think the Devil is going to look like if he's around?
Jane Craig
God!
Aaron Altman
Come on! Nobody is going to be taken in by a guy with a long, red, pointy tail! What's he gonna sound like?
[hisses]
Aaron Altman
No. I'm semi-serious here.
Jane Craig
You're seriously...
Aaron Altman
He will be attractive! He'll be nice and helpful. He'll get a job where he influences a great God-fearing nation. He'll never do an evil thing! He'll never deliberately hurt a living thing... he will just bit by little bit lower our standards where they are important. Just a tiny little bit. Just coax along flash over substance. Just a tiny little bit. And he'll talk about all of us really being salesmen. And he'll get all the great women.
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Paul Moore
[Paul and Martin emerge from an office in which Paul had just laid off Martin]
Now, if there's anything I can do for you...
Martin Klein
Well, I certainly hope you'll die soon.
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Tom Grunick
What do you do when your real life exceeds your dreams?
Aaron Altman
Keep it to yourself.
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Aaron Altman
Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive? If "needy" were a turn-on?
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Aaron Altman
A lot of alliterations from anxious anchors placed in powerful posts!
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Bill Rorich
This is a brutal layoff. And all because they couldn't program Wednesday nights.
Paul Moore
You can make it less brutal by knocking a million or so off your salary... Bad joke, I'm sorry.
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Aaron Altman
And if things had gone differently for me tonight, then I probably wouldn't be saying any of this. I grant you everything. But give me this: He personifies everything that you've been fighting against. And I'm in love with you. How do you like that? I buried the lede.
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Aaron
Here's a good one. They allow us to have cameras at an execution in Florida. Do you broadcast tape of the guy in the chair when they turn on the voltage?
Martin Klein
Sure.
Jennifer Mack
Why not?
Ernie Merriman
Absolutely.
George Wein
You bet.
Aaron
Nothing like wrestling with a moral dilemma, is there?
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Blair Litton
Except for socially, you're my role model.
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Aaron Altman
Six years from now, I'll be back here with my wife and two kids. And I'll see you, and one of my kids will say, "Daddy, who is that?" And I'll say it's not nice to point at single fat women.
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Aaron Altman
And in the middle of all this, I started to think about the one thing that makes me feel really good and makes immediate sense... and it's you.
Jane Craig
Oh, Bubba.
Aaron Altman
I'm going to stop right now. Except that I would give anything if you were two people, so that I could call up the one who's my friend and tell her about the one that I like *so much*!
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Aaron Altman
I think we have the kind of friendship where if I were the devil, you'd be the only one I would tell.
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Jane Craig
So you like me, huh?
Tom Grunick
I like you as much as I can like anyone who thinks I'm an asshole.
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Aaron Altman
If anything happens to me, you tell every woman I've ever gone out with I was talking about her at the end. That way they'll have to reevaluate me.
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Jane Craig
People called in complaining about your sweating?
Aaron Altman
No, NICE calls, worried that I was having a heart attack.
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[someone shots "commercial", now Aaron's off the air]
Aaron Altman
I wish I were one of them.
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Jane Craig
Bastard! Sneak! Quitter!
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[Playback on monitor]
Reluctant Interviewee
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Can you use that?
Aaron Altman
Depends on how slow a news day it is.
[Reacting to the playback]
Jane Craig
I can't believe you said that!
Aaron Altman
I'm very proud of that.
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Jane Craig
No, no, no it wasn't just the speech, the same thing happened with this guy. I have passed some line, some place. I am beginning to repel people I'm trying to seduce.
Aaron Altman
He must've been great looking...
Jane Craig
Why do you say that?
Aaron Altman
Because nobody invites a *bad* looking idiot up to their bedroom.
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[Watching Aaron's flop sweat attack]
News Producer
This is more than Nixon ever sweated.
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[On Aaron's sweating incident on the air]
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Martin Klein
OK. What about this? Here's a tough ethical one. Would you tell a source that you loved them? Just to get some information?
Aaron Altman
Yes.
George Wein
Yes.
Ernie Merriman
Me too.
Jennifer Mack
Sure.
George Wein
You bet.
Aaron Altman
Jennifer didn't know there was an alternative.
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Aaron
I say it here, it comes out there.
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Blair Litton
Oh, you think anyone who's proud of the work we do is an ass-kisser.
Aaron Altman
No, I think anyone who puckers up their lips and presses it against their bosses buttocks and then *smooches* is an ass-kisser.
Blair Litton
My gosh... and for a while there I was attracted to you.
Aaron Altman
Well, wait a minute, that changes everything!
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Young Jane
Dad, you want me to choose my words so carefully, then you throw a word like 'obsessive' at me. Now, unless I'm wrong, please correct me if I am. But obsession is practically a psychiatric term concerning people who don't have anything else but the object of their own obsession, who can't stop and do anything else. Well, here I am stopping to tell you this, OK, so would you please try and be a little bit more precise instead of calling a person something like 'obsessive'? Good night.
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Aaron Altman
I think I better be alone for awhile.
Ernie Merriman
I understand. I'll go with you.
Aaron Altman
Thanks.
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Tom Grunick
I'm going to miss you. You're a prick in a - great way. You know what I mean.
Aaron Altman
No, I liked how that made me *sound*.
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Jane Craig
Just what do you want from me anyway, permission to be a fake? Stop whining. Do something about it!
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Tom Grunick
You're an *amazing* woman - what a *feeling* having you inside my head!
Tom Grunick
It's like - indescribable - you knew *just* when to feed me the next line, you knew the m... second before I needed it. There was like, a *rhythm* we got into - it was like - *great sex*!
[he pulls her toward him while she laughs]
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Jane Craig
[handing the phone to Aaron Altman so he can speak with Tom Grunick]
Don't say anything about anything.
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Aaron Altman
Can you name all the members of the cabinet?
Tom Grunick
OK, let's drop it.
Aaron Altman
What?
Tom Grunick
I mean, I am not gonna take a test for you. I mean, if that came up in conversation...
Aaron Altman
We're conversing. 'Oh no, the names of the cabinet have slipped my mind. Say, do you know them?' OK, don't name them for me. Just tell me if you know.
Tom Grunick
Yes, Aaron, I know the names of the cabinet.
Aaron Altman
OK. All 12?
Tom Grunick
Yes!
Aaron Altman
There's only 10.
Tom Grunick
You're feeling good, aren't you?
Aaron Altman
I'm starting to, yeah. Hey, we may do capitals of the states next.
Tom Grunick
50, right?
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Jane Craig
It's amazing. You commit this incredible breach of - ethics and then you act as if I'm nit - I'm giving you a hard time about nothing!
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Aaron Altman
Just how noticeable is this, huh?
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Aaron Altman
Sorry... sex, tears... this must be the news.
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Aaron Altman
Pretty peppy party pal.
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Tom Grunick
I would really - a lot - appreciate it if...
Jane Craig
"Really - a lot - appreciate it"?
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Jennifer Mack
[pointing at Tom's penis' shadow]
Do you do bunny rabbits?
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Jane Craig
I-I can't help you. Sorry, I'm not here to teach remedial reporting.
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Aaron Altman
Can you believe it? I just risked my life for a network that tests my face with focus groups.
[Jane Laughs]
Aaron Altman
I don't feel good.
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Aaron Altman
The pointers were great, I'll study the tape.
Tom Grunick
Just remember that you're not just reading the news, you're narrating it. Everybody has to sell a little. You're selling them this idea of you, you know, you're sort of saying, trust me I'm, um, credible. So when you feel yourself just reading, stop! Start selling a little.
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Aaron Altman
I'm not really mad. I'll miss you, we'll talk, we'll always be friends, we'll get hot for each other every few years at dinner and we'll never act on it, okay?
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Aaron Altman
You can't end up with Tom because it goes totally against everything you're about.
Jane Craig
Yeah, being a basket case.
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Tom Grunick
It's nice to see you.
Aaron Altman
Hey, congratulations on history's longest winning streak.
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Jane Craig
So, you're not well educated, you have almost no experience... and you can't write.
Tom Grunick
Yeah, and I'm... and I'm making a fortune.
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Tom Granick
You keep on thinking I'm somebody who lacks confidence. That's not it. I know I can talk well enough and I'm not bad at making contact with people, but I don't like the feeling that I'm pretending to be a reporter. And half the time I don't get the news that I'm talking about. It's not that I'm down on myself. Trust me. I stink.
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Aaron Altman
Let's never forget, we're the real story, not them.
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Aaron Altman
Hi, Elli. Remember me? I've been to your house...
Ernie Merriman
And Aaron was on that 14-day rafting trip we took.
Elli
Oh, yeah...
Aaron
It was raining... I had a hood on...
Elli
Oh, yeah!
[Aaron smiles and walks away]
Aaron
She remembers me!
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Aaron Altman
You really blew the lid off of nookie
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Aaron Altman
Can I watch the news?
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Aaron Altman
I figured out why it is I'm so hung up on getting a chance at weekend anchor. It's because if I do it well, then they'll pay me more and my life will be great and they'll treat me better. That's why.
Jane Craig
Sounds like you may be on to something.
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Young Aaron
Go ahead Steven. Take your last licks! But this will heal! What I'm going to say can never be erased! It'll scar you forever! Ready? Here it is. You'll never make more than $19,000 a year!
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Tom Grunick
Why can't I let go of this woman?
Jane Craig
Well.
[Tom caresses the top of Jane's strapless dress, Jane giggles]
Jane Craig
At least kiss me when you do that.
Tom Grunick
You just can't stop editing me, huh?
Jane Craig
This is hysterical.
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Aaron Altman
Ernie said you're lucky if you can get out when you can still cry. Which means I should have quit this place three years ago.
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Blair Litton
We're not going to make it!
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Tom Grunick
It's the first time I've seen you dressed like this. You look so clean and pretty.
Jane Craig
What do you mean? Clean?
Tom Grunick
Well, at the office you always have this sort of film over you.
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Aaron Altman
I feel like I'm slipping. But, do people who are actually slipping feel that way or is it always the really good people who are moving up who invariably think they're slipping because their standards are so high?
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Tom Grunick
I'm no good at what I'm being a success at.
Jane Craig
How are you at back rubs?
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Young Tom
What can you do with yourself if all you can do is look good?
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Jane Craig
Yes. I am so exhausted. Punchy. Sick, tired. I can't think and I can't move. I'm just a dead lump - of poured out *flesh*. Would you like to come up?
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Tom Grunick
I have an idea for something?
Jane Craig
What?
Tom Grunick
If I tell you, can you manage not to put it down or - or - or tell me why it won't work or is in bad journalistic taste or anything like that?
Jane Craig
Yes, Tom. I think I can *manage*.
Tom Grunick
Okay, It's about women who are attacked by someone they know on a date.
Jane Craig
Ugh!
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Aaron Altman
What are you doing? Don't touch me.
Aaron Altman
No, but, just don't handle me.
Tom Grunick
Sit on it.
Aaron Altman
I'm sitting on it!
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Jane Craig
[removing herself from a conversation with Tom]
I've gotta find someone. It's important. Excuse me.
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Aaron Altman
Ah, damn - those fucking jerks - they want to fire me.
Ernie Merriman
All I know is that they got to fire a large number of people - and they're not even going by seniority. There's a recklessness in the air.
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Aaron Altman
You look like - this porcelain thing. You look *beautiful*. You look beautiful. That's gorgeous!
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Tom Grunick
More and more lately when I've been watching you in action - seeing you in all your energy - I've been wondering what it would be like to be inside all that energy.
Jane Craig
Me too.
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Tom Grunick
That's yes?
Jane Craig
That's more than 'yes' -- that's 'you bet.'
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Jane Craig
These people - it's all so awful. It just hurts physically, doesn't it? Like something's wrong with your bones, like your organs are shifting inside your body.
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Tom Grunick
Where's Jane? I'm still juiced.
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Aaron Altman
Jane Craig
[handing the phone to Aaron Altman so he can speak with Tom Grunick]
Aaron Altman
"Don't say anything about anything."
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Young Aaron
You'll never leave South Boston and I'm going to see the whole damn world. You'll never know the pleasure of writing a graceful sentence or having an original thought. Think about it!
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Paul Moore
Anyway, they seem to be very, very serious about making me cut 24 million from the budget. Now, this is going to mean massive firings. I'm doing whatever I can. But, I did want you to be aware of this very serious situation. Now, we're going to also be covering the Alaskan serial killer trial on a continuing basis.
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Ernie Merriman
This guy downstairs, a clerk brought in and vouched for him. He says he has something to say about gays getting promotions at State.
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