Scary Movie 5 Movie Quotes
Jody Campbell
Hey! We don't lick our balls in this house!
Dan
Sorry, won't happen again.
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Christian Grey
Your safe word is... Deeper.
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Snoop Dogg
When we get this reward, we gonna get ourselves a boat, some bitches and a shark
Mac Miller
Why are we gonna need a shark?
Snoop Dogg
We just gon' need one.
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Martin
Caesar has got to show some human intelligence at that board meeeting or...
Dan
Caesar's probably smarter than half of those board members.
Martin
Dan...
Dan
I know what you're going to say, if he's so smart, why is he in the cage?
Martin
You're in the cage.
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Charlie Sheen
Do me a favor. Promise me you won't drive.
Lindsay Lohan
That's sweet. You're worried about me driving.
Charlie Sheen
I'm worried about me. I'm a pedestrian.
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Snoop Dogg
Told you that shark was gonna come in handy.
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[from trailer]
Jody Campbell
So, a demon is the worse thing you can have?
Priest
No, ma'am, an STD is the worse thing you can have.
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Christian Grey
How do you like my blue room?
Jody Campbell
It's red.
Christian Grey
Oh. I'm color blind, my decorator assured me... never mind.
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Pierre
Alright, attention! I do not wish to repeat myself. I repeat, I do not wish to repeat myself.
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Jody Campbell
I'm not gonna get pregnant am I?
Kendra Brooks
No.
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Lindsay Lohan
I'm going to blow you across the room!
Charlie Sheen
Sounds awesome.
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Martin
Look, they still throw their shit.
Dan
But now they can keep score.
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Lindsay Lohan
I don't want to end up all over the Internet. I pride myself on keeping a low profile. My private life is private... wait, what are all these?
Charlie Sheen
Oh, just some movies I rented.
Lindsay Lohan
Me and Brandy, missionary?
Charlie Sheen
A tale of two girls who become nuns.
Lindsay Lohan
And what are all those?
Charlie Sheen
Oh, it's just your standard home security setup, basic run of the mill.
Lindsay Lohan
And why do you need security cameras pointing at your bed.
Charlie Sheen
In case a burglar tries to steal my sex tapes.
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Pierre
Do you accept euros?
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Charlie Sheen
Get out of here, Emilio.
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[from trailer]
Charlie Sheen
I've come back from worse than this.
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[from trailer]
Priest
Demon's got my fist, man!
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Lindsay Lohan
I don't wanna end up all over the internet. I pride myself in keeping a low profile. My private life is private.
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Peter
Okay, well let's at least finish the song. Everyone hold hands... except for Eric.
Eric
Damn.
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Peter
I'm gonna need a little help, I have to go to the bathroom. My penis is in the corner.
Eric
This is fucked up.
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Jody Campbell
I feel like there's something in this house.
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Snoop Dogg
We need to get to that cabin in the woods.
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Jody Campbell
Gort klaatu barada nikto, it says the curse ends with one word: Adunda.
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Dan
Isn't that one of Jody's bathing suits?
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Dom Kolb
You need to clear your subconscious, and watch what you think about. Nothing crazy.
Jody Campbell
Right. Like having your crotch burst into flames.
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[first lines]
Lindsay Lohan
I just don't want to make one of these tapes if it's something you do with every girl.
Charlie Sheen
Every girl? No, no. I am strictly a one-woman guy.
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Lindsay Lohan
Okay, what is that?
Charlie Sheen
Just unraveling the old hose.
Charlie Sheen
Save it for tomorrow, Raul!
Raul - the Gardener
Si senor.
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[from trailer]
Jody Campbell
Hi, we're looking for a book that can stop evil spirits.
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[to Dom after hitting Charlie]
Lindsay Lohan
You were driving.
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