Star Trek 2009 - Movie Quotes

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy Are you actually suggesting they're from the future?

Spock If you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy How poetic.

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Spock Prime James T. Kirk!

James T. Kirk Excuse me?

Spock Prime How did you find me?

James T. Kirk Whoa... how do you know my name?

Spock Prime I have been and always shall be your friend.

James T. Kirk Wha...

[shakes head]

James T. Kirk Uh... look... I-I don't know you.

Spock Prime I am Spock.

James T. Kirk Bullshit.

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Leonard 'Bones' McCoy I may throw up on ya.

James T. Kirk I think these things are pretty safe.

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy Don't pander to me, kid. One tiny crack in the hull and our blood boils in thirteen seconds. Solar flare might crop up, cook us in our seats. And wait'll you're sitting pretty with a case of Andorian shingles, see if you're still so relaxed when your eyeballs are bleeding. Space is disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence.

James T. Kirk Well, I hate to break this to you, but Starfleet operates in space.

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy Yeah. Well, I got nowhere else to go. The ex-wife took the whole damn planet in the divorce. All I got left is my bones.

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Leonard 'Bones' McCoy Permission to speak freely, sir?

Spock I welcome it.

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy Do you? OK, then. Are you out of your Vulcan mind? Are you making a logical choice, sending Kirk away? Probably. But, the right one? You know, back home we have a saying: "If you're gonna ride in the Kentucky Derby, you don't leave your prize stallion in the stable."

Spock A curious metaphor, doctor, as a stallion must first be broken before it can reach its potential.

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy My God, man, you could at least ACT like it was a hard decision.

Spock I intend to assist in the effort to reestablish communication with Starfleet. However, if crew morale is better served by my roaming the halls weeping, I will gladly defer to your medical expertise. Excuse me.

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy [as Spock leaves] Green-blooded hobgoblin.

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Scotty I like this ship! You know, it's exciting!

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Vulcan Council President You have surpassed the expectations of your instructors. Your final record is flawless, with one exception: I see that you have applied to Starfleet as well.

Spock It was logical to cultivate multiple options.

Vulcan Council President Logical, but unnecessary. You are hereby accepted to the Vulcan Science Academy. It is truly remarkable, Spock, that you have achieved so much despite your disadvantage. All rise.

[the Vulcan Council stands in honor of Spock, who now looks slightly pissed]

Spock If you would clarify, Minister: to what disadvantage are you referring?

Vulcan Council President Your human mother.

Spock Council... Ministers, I must decline.

Vulcan Council President No Vulcan has ever declined admission to this academy!

Spock Then, as I am half-human, your record remains untarnished.

Sarek Spock, you have made a commitment to honor the Vulcan way.

Vulcan Council President Why did you come before this council today? Was it to satisfy your emotional need to rebel?

Spock The only emotion I wish to convey is gratitude. Thank you, Ministers, for your consideration.

[In a tone reserved for telling someone to 'Go to Hell']

Spock Live long and prosper.

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Christopher Pike You know, I couldn't believe it when the bartender told me who you are.

James T. Kirk Who am I, Captain Pike?

Christopher Pike Your father's son.

James T. Kirk [Turns toward the bar] Can I get another one?

Christopher Pike For my dissertation, I was assigned the U.S.S. Kelvin. Something I admired about your Dad: he didn't believe in no-win scenarios

James T. Kirk Sure learned his lesson!

Christopher Pike Well, it depends on how you define winning. You're here, aren't you?

James T. Kirk [as beer is brought to him] Thanks.

Christopher Pike You know that instinct to leap without looking, that was his nature too. And in my opinion it's something Starfleet's lost.

James T. Kirk [laughing] Why are you talkin' to me, man?

Christopher Pike 'Cause I looked up your file while you were drooling on the floor. Your aptitude tests are off the charts, so what is it? You like being the only genius level repeat offender in the Midwest?

James T. Kirk Maybe I love it.

Christopher Pike Look, so your Dad dies. You can settle for a less than ordinary life, or do you feel like you were meant for something better? Something special? Enlist in Starfleet.

James T. Kirk [scoffs] Enlist!

James T. Kirk [laughs] You guys must be way down on your recruiting quota for the month!

Christopher Pike If you're half the man your father was, Jim, Starfleet could use you. You could be an officer in four years. You could have your own ship in eight. You understand what the Federation is, don't you? It's important. It's a peacekeeping and humanitarian armada...

James T. Kirk Are we done?

Christopher Pike I'm done.

Christopher Pike [Gets up] Riverside Shipyard. Shuttle for new recruits leaves tomorrow morning, 0800.

Christopher Pike [pause] Now, your father was captain of a Starship for 12 minutes. He saved 800 lives, including your mother's and yours. I dare you to do better.

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[last lines]

Spock Prime [closing monologue] Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Her ongoing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life-forms and new civilizations; to boldly go where no one has gone before.

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Leonard 'Bones' McCoy How the hell did they do that, by the way? And where did the Romulans get that kind of weaponry?

Spock The engineering comprehension necessary to artificially create a black hole may suggest an answer. Such technology could theoretically be manipulated to create a tunnel through space-time.

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy Damn it man, I am a doctor, not a physicist!

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James T. Kirk [on Spock] Who was that pointy-eared bastard?

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy I don't know, but I like him.

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Spock Prime What if I told you that your transwarp theory was correct, that is is indeed possible to beam onto a ship that is traveling at warp speed?

Scotty I think if that equation had been discovered, I'd have heard about it.

Spock Prime The reason you haven't heard of it, Mr. Scott, is because you haven't discovered it yet.

Scotty I'm s... Wha... It... Are you from the future?

James T. Kirk Yeah, he is. I'm not.

Scotty Well, that's brilliant. Do they still have sandwiches there?

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[Spock notices a elder Vulcan walking in the docking bay]

Spock Father!

[the elder Vulcan turns and is revealed as Spock Prime]

Spock Prime I am not our father.

[Young Spock, now recognizing who he is, approaches]

Spock Prime There are so few Vulcans left, we cannot afford to ignore each other.

Spock Then why did you send Kirk aboard when you alone could have explained the truth?

Spock Prime Because you needed each other. I could not deprive you of the revelation of all that you could accomplish together, of a friendship that will define you both in ways you cannot yet realize.

Spock How did you persuade him to keep your secret?

Spock Prime He inferred that universe-ending paradoxes would ensue should he break his promise.

Spock You lied.

Spock Prime Aww... I... I implied.

Spock A gamble.

Spock Prime An act of faith. One I hope that you will repeat in your future in Starfleet.

Spock In the face of extinction, it is only logical that I resign my Starfleet commission and help rebuild our race.

Spock Prime And, yet, you can be in two places at once. I urge you to remain in Starfleet. I have already located a suitable planet on which to establish a Vulcan colony. Spock, in this case, do yourself a favor: Put aside logic. Do what feels right.

[Spock Prime turns and leaves]

Spock Prime Since my customary farewell would appear oddly self-serving, I shall simply say...

[Shows Vulcan hand salute]

Spock Prime Good luck.

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Spock We are traveling at warp speed. How did you manage to beam aboard this ship?

James T. Kirk Hey, you're the genius. You figure it out.

Spock As acting captain of this vessel, I order you to answer the question.

James T. Kirk Well, I'm not telling, "Acting Captain." What, did...?

[Kirk smiles]

James T. Kirk What, now, that doesn't frustrate you, does it? My lack of cooperation? That-that doesn't make you angry...

Spock [Spock turns to Scotty] Are you a member of Starfleet?

Scotty I, um, yes. Can I get a towel, please?

Spock Under penalty of court martial, I order you to explain to me how you were able to beam aboard this ship while moving at warp.

Scotty Well...

James T. Kirk Don't answer him.

Spock You will answer me.

Scotty [pause] I'd rather not take sides.

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Spock Prime To stop Nero, you alone must take command of your ship.

James T. Kirk How? Over your dead body?

Spock Prime Preferably not.

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Spock I am as conflicted as I once was as a child.

Sarek You will always be a child of two worlds. I am grateful for this, and for you.

Spock I feel anger for the one who took Mother's life - an anger I *cannot* control.

Sarek I believe... that she would say, "Do not try to." You asked me once why I married your mother. I married her because I loved her.

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James T. Kirk So what kind of combat training do you have?

Hikaru Sulu Fencing.

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Christopher Pike [whistles to break up fight between cadets and Kirk] Outside! All of you! Now!

Christopher Pike [to Kirk] You all right, son?

Kirk [Looks at him upside down and stunned] You can whistle really loud, you know that?

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James T. Kirk [hurling to his death with Sulu] Kirk to Enterprise. We're falling without a chute. Beam us up!

Transport Chief I'm trying. I can't lock onto your signal.

James T. Kirk Beam us up!

Transport Chief You're moving too fast!

James T. Kirk Beam us up!

Pavel Chekov I can do zat! I can do zat!

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James T. Kirk Now, what is it with you, Spock? Hm? Your planet was just destroyed, your mother murdered, and you're not even upset!

Spock If you are presuming that these experiences in any way impede my ability to command this ship, you are mistaken.

James T. Kirk And yet you were the one who said fear was necessary for command. I mean, did you see his ship? Did you see what he did?

[pause]

Spock Yes, of course I did.

James T. Kirk So are you afraid or aren't you?

Spock I will not allow you to lecture me about the merits of emotion.

James T. Kirk Then why don't you stop me?

Spock Step away from me, Mister Kirk.

James T. Kirk What is it like not to feel anger... or heartbreak... or the need to stop at nothing to avenge the death of the woman who gave birth to you?

Spock Back away from me.

James T. Kirk You feel NOTHING! It must not even COMPUTE for you! You NEVER loved her!

[Spock snaps and attacks Kirk, nearly killing him]

Sarek SPOCK!

[Spock regains control]

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James T. Kirk Your ship is compromised, too close to the singularity to survive without assistance, which we are willing to provide.

Spock [speaking privately] Captain, what are you doing?

James T. Kirk Showing them compassion may be the only way to earn peace with Romulus. It's logic, Spock. I thought you'd like that.

Spock No, not really. Not this time.

Nero [replying to the offer of assistance] I would rather suffer the end of Romulus a thousand times. I would rather die in agony than accept assistance from you.

James T. Kirk You got it! Arm phasers. Fire everything we've got!

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Scotty Except, the thing is, even if I believed you, right, where you're from, what I've done - which I don't, by the way - you're still talking about beaming aboard the Enterprise while she's traveling faster than light, without a proper receiving pad.

Scotty [to Keenser] Get off there! It's not a climbing frame!

Scotty [back to Spock Prime] The notion of transwarp beaming is like trying to hit a bullet with a smaller bullet whilst wearing a blindfold, riding a horse.

[Spock writes on a paper]

Scotty What's that?

Spock Prime Your equation for achieving transwarp beaming.

Scotty [to himself] He's out of it

Scotty [reads the equation] Imagine that! It never occurred to me to think of SPACE as the thing that was moving!

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Spock [standing across Lt. Uhura before he and Kirk are about to be beamed onto the Romulan warship] I will be back.

Lt. Nyota Uhura [leaning in] You better be! I'll be monitoring your frequency.

Spock [actually quite emotional] Thank you, Nyota.

James T. Kirk [after Uhura leaves] So her first name's Nyota?

Spock I have no comment on the matter.

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Lt. Nyota Uhura [During the Kobayashi Maru test] We are receiving a distress signal from the U.S.S. Kobayashi Maru. The ship has lost power and is stranded. Starfleet Command has ordered us to rescue them.

James T. Kirk [clearly enjoying himself] "Starfleet Command has ordered us to rescue them... CAPTAIN."

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy [rolls his eyes] Two Klingon vessels have entered the Neutral Zone and are locking weapons on us.

James T. Kirk [Smugly] That's okay.

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy "That's okay?"

James T. Kirk Yeah, don't worry about it.

Test Administrator Did he say "Don't worry about it?"

Test Administrator Is he not taking the simulation seriously?

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Leonard 'Bones' McCoy Well, congratulations, Jim. We've got no captain and no god-damned first officer to replace him.

Kirk Yeah, we do.

[Kirk sits himself into the captain's chair]

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy What?

Hikaru Sulu Pike made him first officer.

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy You gotta be kidding me!

Kirk Thanks for the support.

Lt. Nyota Uhura I sure hope you know what you're doing...

Lt. Nyota Uhura [sarcastically] ... CAPTAIN.

Kirk So do I.

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Hikaru Sulu The fleet has cleared spacedock, Captain. All ships ready for warp.

Christopher Pike Set a course for Vulcan.

Hikaru Sulu Aye-Aye, Captain. Course laid in.

Christopher Pike Maximum warp. Punch it.

[One by one, the rest of the star fleet jumps into warp drive, leaving the Enterprise behind. Sulu frowns at the console, puzzled]

Christopher Pike Lieutenant, where is Helmsman McKenna?

Hikaru Sulu He has lungworms, sir. He couldn't report to his post. I'm Hikaru Sulu.

Christopher Pike And you are a pilot, right?

Hikaru Sulu Very much so, sir.

[he trails off, hitting buttons]

Hikaru Sulu I'm, uh, I'm not sure what's wrong here.

Christopher Pike Is the parking brake on?

Hikaru Sulu Uh, no. I'll figure it out. I'm just...

Spock Have you disengaged the external inertial dampener?

Hikaru Sulu [Embarrassed. Without looking at anyone, he punches in the correct sequence] Ready for warp, sir.

Christopher Pike Let's punch it.

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Spock Prime You are, in fact, the Mr. Scott who postulated the theory of transwarp beaming?

Scotty That's what I'm talking about! How do you think I wound up here? Had a little debate with my instructor on relativistic physics and how it pertains to subspace travel. He seemed to think that the range of transporting something like a... like a grapefruit was limited to about 100 miles. I told him that I could not only beam a grapefruit from one planet to the adjacent planet in the same system - which is easy, by the way - I could do it with a life form. So, I tested it out on Admiral Archer's prized beagle.

James T. Kirk Wait, I know that dog. What happened to it?

Scotty I'll tell you when it reappears. Ahem. I don't know, I do feel guilty about that.

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Lt. Nyota Uhura I'm impressed. For a moment there, I thought you were just a dumb hick who only has sex with farm animals.

James T. Kirk Well, not "only".

[emphasis on "only. Uhura chuckles]

Burly Cadet #1 This townie isn't bothering you, right?

Lt. Nyota Uhura Oh, beyond belief, but it's nothing I can't handle.

James T. Kirk You could handle me, if that's an invitation.

Burly Cadet #1 Hey, you better mind your manners.

James T. Kirk Oh relax, cupcake, it was a joke.

Burly Cadet #1 Hey, farm-boy, maybe you can't count, but there are four of us and one of you.

James T. Kirk So go get some more guys and then it'll be an even fight.

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Spock [Kirk has been appointed captain, and the Enterprise is preparing to depart. Spock enters the bridge] Permission to come aboard, Captain.

James T. Kirk Permission granted.

Spock As you have yet to select a first officer, respectfully, I would like to submit my candidacy. Should you desire, I can provide character references.

James T. Kirk It would be my honor, Commander.

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Sarek Speak your mind, Spock.

Spock That would be unwise.

Sarek What is necessary is never unwise.

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Spock [volunteering for what could be a suicide mission] Romulans and Vulcans share a common ancestor. Our cultural similarities will make it easier for me to access the ship's computer to locate the device. Also, my mother was human, which makes Earth the only home I have left.

James T. Kirk I'm coming with you.

Spock I would cite regulation, but I know you will simply ignore it.

James T. Kirk See? We are getting to know each other.

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Spock [on intercom] Dr Puri, report.

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy It's McCoy. Dr. Puri was on Deck 6. He's dead.

Spock Then you have just inherited his responsibility as Chief Medical Officer.

[McCoy looks at a burning medical room full of casualties from the attack]

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy Yeah, tell me something I DON'T know!

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Spock Acting Captain's Log, Stardate 2258.42. We have had no word from Captain Pike. I've therefore classified him a hostage of the war criminal known as Nero. Nero, who has destroyed my home planet and most of its six billion inhabitants. While the essence of our culture has been saved in the elders who now reside upon this ship, I estimate no more than 10,000 have survived. I am now a member of an endangered species.

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[Kirk rushes onto the bridge, urging the ship to stop. Three-way arguing ensues between him, Spock, and Pike]

Spock I can remove the cadet...

James T. Kirk Try it!

Christopher Pike Kirk!

James T. Kirk This cadet is trying to save the bridge!

Spock By recommending a full stop, mid-warp, during a rescue mission?

James T. Kirk It's not a rescue mission. Listen to me, it's an attack!

Spock Based on what facts?

James T. Kirk That same anomaly, a "lightning storm in space" that we saw today, also occurred on the day of my birth, shortly before a Romulan ship attacked the U.S.S. Kelvin. You know that, sir, I read your dissertation. That ship, which had formidable and advanced weaponry, was never seen or heard from again. The Kelvin attack took place at the edge of Klingon space, and at 2300 hours last night, there was an attack: forty-seven Klingon warbirds destroyed by Romulans, sir, and it was reported that the Romulans were in one ship, one massive ship.

Christopher Pike And you know of this Klingon attack how?

[Kirk glances at Uhura]

Lt. Nyota Uhura Sir, I intercepted and translated the message myself. Kirk's report is accurate.

James T. Kirk We're warping into a trap, sir. The Romulans are waiting for us, I promise you that.

[Unsettled, Pike looks at Spock]

Spock The cadet's logic is sound. And Lt. Uhura is unmatched in xenolinguistics, we would be wise to accept her conclusion.

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James T. Kirk [to Spock] The test itself is a cheat, isn't it? I mean, you programmed it to be unwinnable.

Spock Your argument precludes the possibility of a no-win scenario.

James T. Kirk I don't believe in no-win scenarios.

Spock Then not only did you violate the rules, you also failed to understand the principal lesson.

James T. Kirk Please enlighten me.

Spock You of all people should know, Cadet Kirk, a captain cannot cheat death.

James T. Kirk [reminiscing] I of all people...

Spock Your father, Lieutenant George Kirk, assumed command of his vessel before being killed in action, did he not?

James T. Kirk I don't think you like the fact that I beat your test.

Spock Furthermore, you have failed to divine the purpose of the test.

James T. Kirk Enlighten me again.

Spock The purpose is to experience fear, fear in the face of certain death, to accept that fear, and maintain control of oneself and one's crew. This is the quality expected in every Starfleet captain.

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Lt. Nyota Uhura [Having just learned that she is assigned to the Farragut] Commander, a word?

Spock Yes, Lieutenant?

Lt. Nyota Uhura Was I not one of your top students?

Spock Indeed you were.

Lt. Nyota Uhura [the scene cuts to another location, where Uhura is still hounding Spock] And did I not, on multiple occasions, demonstrate an exceptional aural sensitivity, and I quote, "an unparalleled ability to identify sonic anomalies in subspace transmissions tests?"

Spock Consistently, yes.

Lt. Nyota Uhura And while you are well aware of my own qualified desires to serve on the U.S.S. Enterprise, I'm assigned to the Farragut?

Spock It was an attempt to...

[he glances around, keeping his voice low]

Spock ...avoid the appearance of favoritism.

Lt. Nyota Uhura [Adamantly] No. I'm assigned to the Enterprise.

Spock [He adjusts his roster list] Yes, I believe you are.

Lt. Nyota Uhura Thank you.

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James T. Kirk [still suffering from the vaccine] My mouth is itchy. Is that normal?

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy Well, those symptoms won't last long. I'm going to give you a mild sedative.

James T. Kirk Oh, I wish I didn't know you.

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy Don't be such an infant.

[He jabs Kirk with a hypodermic needle]

James T. Kirk OWW! How long's it supposed to...

[he suddenly collapses on the bed]

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy [Shaking his head] Unbelievable.

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George Kirk What are we gonna call him?

Winona Kirk We could name him after your father.

George Kirk Tiberius? You kidding me? No, that's the worst. Let's name him after your dad. Let's call him Jim.

Winona Kirk Jim. OK, Jim it is.

George Kirk Sweetheart, can you hear me?

Winona Kirk I hear you.

George Kirk I love you so much. I love you...

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James T. Kirk You know, coming back in time, changing history... that's cheating.

Spock Prime A trick I learned from an old friend.

[With an uncharacteristic smile, he gives the Vulcan salute to Kirk]

Spock Prime Live long and prosper.

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Spock [to Kirk] Out of the chair.

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Christopher Pike Russian whizkid, what's your name? Chanko? Cherpov?

Pavel Chekov Ensign Chekov, Pavel Andreievich, sir.

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Leonard 'Bones' McCoy Wait a minute, kid. How old are you?

Pavel Chekov Seventeen, sir.

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy Oh... oh, good, he's seventeen.

Spock Doctor... Mr. Chekov is correct.

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Flight Officer You need a doctor.

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy I told you people I don't need a doctor, dammit - I AM a doctor!

Flight Officer You need to get back to your seat.

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy I had one. In the bathroom with no windows.

Flight Officer You need to get back in your seat, NOW.

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy I suffer from aviophobia - it means fear of dying in something that flies!

Flight Officer Sir, for your own safety, sit down or else I'll make you sit down!

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Kirk [highly agitated and suffering side effects from McCoy hypospray] Uhura! Uhura!

Lt. Nyota Uhura Kirk? What are you doing here?

Kirk The transmission from the Klingon prison planet. What exactly...

Lt. Nyota Uhura Oh, my God, what's wrong with your hands?

Kirk [waves off the question with his bloated hands] I-i-it's... Look, who is responsible for the attack...

Lt. Nyota Uhura What?

Kirk ...and was the ship walullaa?

Lt. Nyota Uhura And was the ship... WHAT?

Kirk [to McCoy] Whass happening to my mouth?

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy You got numb-tongue?

Kirk NUM-TUNG?

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy I can fix that!

[hurries off to find another hypospray]

Lt. Nyota Uhura Was the ship what?

Kirk Womulan!

Lt. Nyota Uhura What? I...

Kirk WOMULAN!

Lt. Nyota Uhura Romulan?

Kirk Yeah!

Lt. Nyota Uhura Yes!

Kirk Yes?

[Bones injects him with another hypospray]

Kirk ACK! ACK!

[trying to say 'stop it']

Kirk STAHHMIT!

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[Pike previously told Kirk he would be an officer in four years]

James T. Kirk Four years? I'll do it in three.

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Pavel Chekov Ensign Authorization code: nine-five-wictor-wictor-two!

[Authorization is not recognized]

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[the U.S.S. Enterprise is being sucked into a black hole, seconds away from doom]

Scotty I'm giving her all she's got, Captain!

[the bridge ceiling begins to crack as the ship's drawn closer]

James T. Kirk All she's got isn't good enough! What else ya got?

Scotty Um... Okay, if we eject the core and detonate, the blast could be enough to push us away! I cannae promise anything, though!

[the viewing window starts to rupture]

James T. Kirk DO IT, DO IT, DO IT!

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Admiral Richard Barnett This is Commander Spock. He is one of our most distinguished graduates. He's programmed the Kobayashi Maru exam for the last four years. Commander?

Spock Cadet Kirk, you somehow managed to install and activate a subroutine in the programming code, thereby changing the conditions of the test.

James T. Kirk Your point being?

Admiral Richard Barnett In academic vernacular, you cheated.

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[as the Narada pursues Spock, he suddenly whips the ship around and heads directly for it]

Nero What's he doing?

Spock's Ship's Computer Ambassador Spock, you are on a collision course.

Nero [panicking] FIRE EVERYTHING!

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Lt. Nyota Uhura Gaila, who is he?

Gaila Who's who?

Lt. Nyota Uhura The mouth-breather hiding under your bed?

James T. Kirk [comes out from under Gaila's bed] You can hear me breathing?

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James T. Kirk I relieve you, sir.

Christopher Pike I am relieved.

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James T. Kirk [Stepping aboard the bridge as its official captain] Bones! Buckle up!

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Young Spock I presume you've prepared new insults for today.

Vulcan Bully #1 Affirmative.

Young Spock This is your thirty-fifth attempt to elicit an emotional response from me.

Vulcan Bully #2 You're neither human nor Vulcan, and therefore have no place in this universe.

Vulcan Bully #1 Look. He has human eyes. They look sad, don't they?

Vulcan Bully #2 Perhaps an emotional response requires physical stimuli.

[shoves Spock]

Vulcan Bully #2 He's a traitor, you know, your father, for marrying her, that human whore.

[Spock beats up the bully]

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[through a mind meld with Kirk]

Spock Prime Billions of lives lost because of me, Jim, because I failed.

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James T. Kirk Stardate: 2258.42... or, uh, 4... Whatever. Acting Captain Spock has marooned me on Delta Vega, in what I believe to be a violation of Security Protocol 49.09 governing the treatment of prisoners aboard a star...

[Kirk breaks off abruptly before completing the word starship as the howl of a predatory animal is heard, possibly heading his way]

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Gaila Jim, I think I love you.

James T. Kirk That is so weird.

Gaila Lights.

Computer Lights on.

Gaila Did you just say, "That is so weird"?

James T. Kirk Yeah, I did, but...

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Spock [finding himself aboard the ship of his future self] It appears that you have been keeping important information from me.

James T. Kirk You'll be able to fly this thing, right?

Spock Something tells me I already have.

James T. Kirk Good luck.

Spock Jim... the statistical likelihood that our plan will succeed is less than 4.3%.

James T. Kirk It'll work.

Spock In the event that I do not return, please tell Lieutenant Uhura...

James T. Kirk Spock. IT'LL WORK.

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Captain Robau If I don't report in 15 minutes, evacuate the crew.

George Kirk Sir, we could issue...

Captain Robau There is no help for us out here. Use autopilot... and get off this ship.

George Kirk Aye, Captain.

Captain Robau You're captain now, Mr. Kirk.

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Amanda Grayson There's no need to be anxious. You'll do fine.

Spock I am hardly anxious, Mother. And "fine" has variable definitions. "Fine" is unacceptable.

Amanda Grayson Okay.

Spock May I ask a personal query?

Amanda Grayson Anything.

Spock Should I choose to complete the Vulcan discipline of Kolinahr and purge all emotion, I trust you will not feel it reflects judgment on you.

Amanda Grayson Oh, Spock. As always, whatever you choose to be, you will have a proud mother.

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James T. Kirk What are you doing?

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy I'm doing you a favor. I couldn't just leave you there looking all pathetic. Take a seat. I'm gonna give you a vaccine against viral infection from Melvaren mud fleas.

James T. Kirk OW! What for?

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy To give you the symptoms.

James T. Kirk What are you talking about?

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy You're gonna start to lose vision in your left eye.

James T. Kirk Yeah, I already have.

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy Oh, and you're gonna get a really bad headache and a flop sweat.

James T. Kirk You call this a favor?

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy Yeah. You owe me one.

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Scotty So, the Enterprise has had its maiden voyage, has it? She is one well-endowed lady. I'd like to get my hands on her "ample nacelles," if you pardon the engineering parlance.

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Ayel Your species is even weaker than I expected.

[chokes Kirk]

James T. Kirk I can't...

Ayel You can't even speak!

[Kirk garbles]

Ayel What?

James T. Kirk I got your gun!

[shoots Ayel]

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[Kirk rescues Pike]

Christopher Pike What're you doing here?

James T. Kirk Just following orders.

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[Spock Prime and Kirk arrive at a derelict Starfleet outpost, and discover...]

Scotty You realize how unacceptable this is?

Spock Prime Fascinating!

Scotty Okay, I'm sure you're just doing your job, but could you not have come a wee bit sooner? Six months I've been here, living off Starfleet protein nibs and the promise of a good meal! And I know exactly what's going on here, okay? Punishment, isn't it? Ongoing! For something that was clearly an accident!

Spock Prime [pleased] You are Montgomery Scott.

James T. Kirk You know him?

Scotty Aye, that's me. You're in the right place. Unless there's another hardworking, equally starved Starfleet officer around.

Keenser Me.

Scotty Get aff! Shut up! You don't eat anything! You can eat, like, a bean, and you're done. I'm talking about food. REAL food!

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Christopher Pike Kirk, you, too. You're not supposed to be here, anyway.

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Scotty I've never beamed three people from two targets onto one pad before!

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James T. Kirk [upon taking command of the Enterprise] Attention crew of the Enterprise, this is James Kirk. Mr. Spock has resigned commission and advanced me to acting captain. I know you are all expecting to regroup with the fleet, but I'm ordering a pursuit course of the enemy ship to Earth. I want all departments at battle stations and ready in ten minutes. Either we're going down... or they are. Kirk out.

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Leonard 'Bones' McCoy Three more Klingon warbirds decloaking and targeting our ship. I don't suppose this is a problem either.

Simulator Tactical Officer They're firing, Captain.

James T. Kirk Alert Medical Bay to prepare to receive ALL crew members from the damaged ship.

Lt. Nyota Uhura And how do you expect us to rescue them when we're surrounded by Klingons, Captain?

James T. Kirk [not taking anything or anyone seriously] Alert Medical

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy Our ship's being hit. Shields at sixty percent.

James T. Kirk [nonchalantly] I understand.

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy [exasperated] Well, should we - I dunno - fire back?

James T. Kirk [pulls an apple out of nowhere and starts munching] No.

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy Of COURSE not.

[the entire simulation suddenly shuts down, then starts back up]

Test Administrator What is this? What's going on?

James T. Kirk Hm. Arm photons. Prepare to fire on the Klingon warbirds.

Simulator Tactical Officer Yessir.

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy Jim, their shields are still up!

James T. Kirk Are they?

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy [checks again] No... They're not.

James T. Kirk Fire on all enemy ships. One photon each should do. Let's not waste ammunition.

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy Target locked and acquired on all warbirds. Firing.

[the simulation shows the birds being destroyed one by one]

Simulator Tactical Officer All ships destroyed, Captain.

James T. Kirk Begin rescue of the stranded crew.

James T. Kirk [grandstanding his victory] So! We've managed to eliminate all enemy ships, no one on board was injured AND the successful rescue of the Kobayashi Maru crew is... underway.

[takes a large bite out of his apple]

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[Kirk drives his stepfather's Corvette toward a cliff. As he skids sideways, he jumps out before the Corvette falls off while he hangs on the edge of the cliff. The Iowa cop chasing him steps off his bike as Kirk climbs off the cliff]

Young Kirk Is there a problem, officer?

Iowa Cop Citizen, what is your name?

Young Kirk My name is James Tiberius Kirk!

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Nero James T. Kirk was considered to be a great man. He went on to captain the U.S.S. Enterprise... but that was another life. A life I will deprive you of just like I did your father!

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Spock [sits in the cockpit of his future self's ship, which springs to life] Fascinating!

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Spock Prime [after Kirk relieves Pike of command] Thrusters on full.

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James T. Kirk Bones, doesn't it bother you that no one's ever passed the test?

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy Jim, it's the Kobayashi Maru. NO one passes the test, and no one goes back for seconds, let alone thirds.

James T. Kirk [leaving] I gotta study.

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy Study, my ass.

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Christopher Pike Mr. Spock, I'm leaving you in command of the Enterprise. Once we have transport capability and communications back up, you'll contact Starfleet and report what the hell's going on here. And if all else fails, fall back, rendezvous with the fleet in the Laurentian system. Kirk, I'm promoting you to First Officer.

James T. Kirk What?

Spock Captain? Please, I apologize. The complexities of human pranks escape me.

Christopher Pike It's not a prank, Spock. And I'm not the captain. You are.

Christopher Pike [to Kirk] Let's go.

James T. Kirk Sir, after we knock out that drill, what happens to you?

Christopher Pike Ah, I guess you'll have to come and get me.

Christopher Pike [last word to Spock] Careful with the ship, Spock. She's brand new.

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James T. Kirk I don't feel right. I feel like I'm leaking!

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[deleted scene: Spock's birth]

Sarek I was thinking that we could name him after one of Vulcan's early society builders. His name was Spock.

[Amanda considers it]

Sarek Your silence does not suggest enormous enthusiasm.

Amanda Grayson No...

[trying it]

Amanda Grayson Spock... Spock.

Sarek He has your eyes.

Amanda Grayson [laughs] And your ears.

[shakes her baby's hand]

Amanda Grayson Hello, Spock.

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James T. Kirk Where you came from... did I know my father?

Spock Prime Yes... you often spoke of him as being your inspiration for joining Starfleet. He proudly lived to see you become captain of the Enterprise.

James T. Kirk CAPTAIN?

Spock Prime A ship we must return you to as soon as possible.

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Nero That ship. Take it out.

Romulan Sir, if you ignite the Red Matter...

Nero [yelling] I want Spock dead now!

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Kirk Make that two. Her shot's on me.

Lt. Nyota Uhura Her shot's on her.

[Turns to Kirk]

Lt. Nyota Uhura Thanks but no thanks.

Kirk Don't you at least wanna know my name before you completely reject me?

Lt. Nyota Uhura I'm fine without it.

Kirk You ARE fine without it. It's Jim, Jim Kirk.

[Waits for Uhura to introduce herself, and gets no reply]

Kirk If you don't tell me your name I'm gonna have to make one up.

Lt. Nyota Uhura [Reluctantly] It's Uhura.

Kirk Uhura? No way! That's the name I was gonna make up for you! Uhura what?...

Lt. Nyota Uhura Just Uhura.

Kirk They don't have last names in your world?

Lt. Nyota Uhura Uhura is my last name.

Kirk Then they don't have... uh first names in your world?

[Uhura smiles]

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Kirk [Bolts out of bed suddenly from being sedated] Lightning storm!

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy Ah, Jim, you're awake. How do you feel?

[He looks down, suddenly growing alarmed]

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy Good God, man!

Kirk What? AH!

[He yelps and raises his hands, which are now twice their normal size]

Kirk What the hell's this?

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy A reaction to the vaccine, dammit! Nurse Chapel, I need 50 cc's of cortizone!

Nurse Chapel Yes, sir!

[He starts scanning Kirk while Kirk replays Chekov's message]

Pavel Chekov [on the computer] ... appeared to be a lightning storm in space.

Kirk Bones! We gotta stop the ship!

[He takes off running down the hall]

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy [running after him] Jim! I'm not kidding, you need to keep your heart rate down!

[he fumbles through a first aid kit while Jim accesses another computer console]

Kirk Computer, locate crew member Uhura.

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy You know, I haven't seen a reaction this bad since med school!

Kirk We're flying into a trap!

[He starts running again]

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy Dammit, Jim, stand still!

[injects him yet again]

Kirk [yelps in pain] OW! STOP THAT!

[he runs through the engine room, looking for Uhura]

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Test Administrator How the hell did that kid beat your test?

Spock I do not know.

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Ayel I will speak for Captain Nero.

Captain Robau Then ask Captain Nero what gives him the right to attack a Federation vessel.

Ayel [activates a hologram with Spock Prime's face] Do you know the location of Ambassador Spock?

Captain Robau I'm unfamiliar with Ambassador Spock.

Ayel What is the current stardate?

Captain Robau Stardate? Twenty-two thirty-three zero-four.

[a beat]

Captain Robau Where are you from?

[Nero rushes out of his throne and murders Captain Robau]

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Christopher Pike I'm Captain Christopher Pike. To whom am I speaking?

Nero Hi, Christopher. I'm Nero.

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Security Officer [McCoy is half-carrying a loopy Kirk after injecting him with a vaccine. Kirk is scanned] Kirk, James T. He is not cleared for duty aboard the Enterprise.

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy Medical code states "The treatment and transport of a patient is to be determined at the discretion of his attending physician" - which is me! - so I'm taking Mr. Kirk aboard, or would you like to explain to Captain Pike why the Enterprise warped into a crisis without one of its senior medical officers?

Security Officer As you were.

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy [irritably] As YOU were!

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy [to Kirk] Come on!

[He drags Kirk onto the ship]

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James T. Kirk Where are we?

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy Medical Bay.

James T. Kirk This isn't worth it.

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy A little suffering's good for the soul.

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James T. Kirk Scotty, how we doin'?

Scotty Dilithium chamber at maximum, Captain.

Scotty [noticing Keenser straddling a console] GET DOWN!

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[Kirk and Scott run around the Enterprise's engineering section, evading capture, when they are finally cornered by an officer pointing a phaser at them - the same officer involved in the bar fight with Kirk in Iowa]

Burly Cadet #1 Come with me, cupcake!

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Christopher Pike Scan Vulcan space, look for any transmissions in Romulan.

Enterprise Communiations Officer Sir, I'm not sure I can distinguish the Romulan language from Vulcan...

Christopher Pike What about you? You speak Romulan, Cadet...?

Lt. Nyota Uhura Uhura. All three dialects, sir.

Christopher Pike Uhura, relieve the Lieutenant.

Lt. Nyota Uhura [taken aback, then] Yes, sir.

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Young Spock You suggest I should become completely Vulcan, and yet you married a human.

Sarek As Ambassador to Earth it is my duty to observe and understand human behaviour. Marrying your mother was... logical.

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Spock We must gather with the rest of Starfleet... to balance the terms of the next engagement!

James T. Kirk There won't BE a next engagement! By the time we've "gathered," it'll be too late! But you say he's from the future - knows what's gonna happen? - then the logical thing is to be unpredictable!

Spock You're assuming that Nero knows how events are predicted to unfold. The contrary, Nero's very presence has altered the flow of history, beginning with the attack on the U.S.S. Kelvin, culminating in the events of today, thereby creating an entire new chain of incidents that cannot be anticipated by either party.

Lt. Nyota Uhura An alternate reality.

Spock Precisely. Whatever our lives might have been, if the time continuum was disrupted, our destinies have changed.

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[from trailer #3]

Nero I've been waiting for this day my whole life... This day of reckoning.

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James T. Kirk Sulu, let's go home.

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Sarek Spock, you are fully capable of deciding your own destiny. The question you face is: which path will you choose? This is something only you can decide.

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Lt. Nyota Uhura [to Spock, after the destruction of Vulcan] I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry.

[She kisses him along his face and hugs him; after a short hesitation, he hugs her back and leans into her]

Lt. Nyota Uhura What do you need? Tell me.

[Uhura takes his face into her hands]

Lt. Nyota Uhura Tell me.

Spock [fighting for control] I need everyone to continue performing admirably.

[pushes the elevator button to continue]

Lt. Nyota Uhura [tears in her eyes, nods] Okay.

[She kisses him and he kisses her back and when the elevator doors open and leaves her behind without a backward glance]

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Spock Get him off this ship.

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Lt. Nyota Uhura [catches Kirk hiding under her roommate's bed] You!

James T. Kirk [scheduled to take the Kobayashi Maru test the next day] Big day tomorrow.

Lt. Nyota Uhura [throws his clothes at him] You're gonna fail.

James T. Kirk Gaila, see you around.

Lt. Nyota Uhura [hustling him to the door] Get out!

James T. Kirk If I pass, will you tell me your first name?

Lt. Nyota Uhura NO! Good night!

James T. Kirk I think the fact that you picked up a transmission is *very* interesting...

[She shuts the door in his face]

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[from trailer #2]

Nero The wait is over.

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Nero We wait. We wait for the one who allowed our home to be destroyed, as we've been doing for 25 years.

Ayel Once we've killed him?

Nero Kill him? I'm not gonna kill him. I'm gonna make him watch.

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[first lines]

Communication Operator U.S.S. Kelvin, go for Starfleet Base.

Kelvin Crew Member Starfleet Base, we've sent you a transmission. Did you receive?

Starfleet Base Kelvin, have you double-checked those readings?

Kelvin Crew Member Our gravitational sensors are going crazy here. You should see this. It looks like a lightning storm.

Starfleet Base What you've sent us doesn't seem possible.

Kelvin Crew Member Yes ma'am. I understand. That's why we sent it.

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Nero I know your face from Earth's history.

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Spock Prime It is remarkably pleasing to see you again, old friend. Especially after the events of today.

Kirk Uh, sir, I appreciate what you did for me today, but -- but if you were Spock you would know we're not friends at all. You hate me, you marooned me here for mutiny.

Spock Prime Mutiny?

Kirk Yes.

Spock Prime You are not the Captain?

Kirk No, no. Umm... you're the Captain. Pike was taken hostage.

Spock Prime By Nero.

Kirk What do you know about him?

Spock Prime He is a particularly troubled Romulan.

[stands]

Spock Prime Please, allow me. It will be easier.

[attempts to mind-meld with Kirk]

Kirk Whoa, whoa. What are you doing?

Spock Prime Our minds. One and together.

[Spock Prime melds with Kirk]

Spock Prime One hundred twenty-nine years from now, a star will explode, and threaten to destroy the galaxy. That is where I'm from, Jim. The future. The star went supernova... consuming everything in its path. I promised the Romulans that I would save their planet. We outfitted our fastest ship. Using red matter, I would create a black hole, which would absorb the exploding star. I was en route, when the unthinkable happened. The supernova destroyed Romulus. I had little time. I had to extract the red matter, and shoot it into the supernova. As I began my return trip, I was intercepted. He called himself Nero. Last of the Romulan Empire. In my attempt to escape, both of us were pulled into the black hole. Nero went through first. He was the first to arrive. Nero spent the next twenty-five years awaiting my arrival. But what was years for Nero, was only seconds for me. I went through the black hole. Nero was waiting for me. He held me responsible for the loss of his world. He captured my vessel, and spared my life for one reason. So that I would know his pain. He beamed me here, so that I could observe his vengeance. As he was helpless to save his planet, I would be helpless to save mine. Billions of lives lost, because of me, Jim. Because I failed.

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Christopher Pike All power to forward shields. Prepare to fire all weapons!

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Chief Engineer Olson I can't wait to kick some Romulan ass!

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James T. Kirk You're coming with us, right?

Spock Prime No, Jim. That is not my destiny.

James T. Kirk Your des--? H--The other Spock is not gonna believe me. Only you can explain what the hell's hap...

Spock Prime Under no circumstances can he be made aware of my existence. You must promise me this.

James T. Kirk You're telling me I can't tell you that I'm following your own orders? Why not? What happens?

Spock Prime Jim, this is one rule you cannot break. To stop Nero, you alone must take command of your ship.

James T. Kirk How? Over your dead body?

Spock Prime Preferably not. However, there is Starfleet regulation six-one-nine. Six-one-nine states that any command officer who is emotionally compromised by the mission at hand must resign said command.

James T. Kirk So you're saying I have to emotionally compromise you guys.

Spock Prime Jim, I just lost my planet. I can tell you, I am emotionally compromised. What you must do is get me to show it.

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Kelvin Crew Member Captain, we have visual!

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Star Trek Movie Quotes