American Psycho Movie Quotes
[Recurring line]
Patrick Bateman
I have to return some videotapes.
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Patrick Bateman
Do you like Huey Lewis and The News?
Paul Allen
They're OK.
Patrick Bateman
Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor.
Paul Allen
Hey Halberstram.
Patrick Bateman
Yes, Allen?
Paul Allen
Why are there copies of the style section all over the place, d-do you have a dog? A little chow or something?
Patrick Bateman
No, Allen.
Paul Allen
Is that a rain coat?
Patrick Bateman
Yes it is! In '87, Huey released this, Fore, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to be Square", a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself.
[raises axe above head]
Patrick Bateman
Hey Paul!
[he bashes Allen in the head with the axe, and blood splatters over him]
Patrick Bateman
TRY GETTING A RESERVATION AT DORSIA NOW, YOU FUCKING STUPID BASTARD! YOU, FUCKING BASTARD!
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[last lines]
Patrick Bateman
There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it I have now surpassed. My pain is constant and sharp, and I do not hope for a better world for anyone. In fact, I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape. But even after admitting this, there is no catharsis; my punishment continues to elude me, and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself. No new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing.
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Patrick Bateman
I like to dissect girls. Did you know I'm utterly insane?
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Patrick Bateman
There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there.
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Patrick Bateman
Ask me a question.
Club Patron
So, what do you do?
Patrick Bateman
I'm into, uh, well, murders and executions, mostly.
Club Patron
Do you like it?
Patrick Bateman
Well, it depends. Why?
Club Patron
Well, most guys I know who are in Mergers and Acquisitions really don't like it.
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Patrick Bateman
You're a fucking ugly bitch. I want to stab you to death, and then play around with your blood.
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Patrick Bateman
I live in the American Gardens Building on W. 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.
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Patrick Bateman
Howard, it's Bateman, Patrick Bateman. You're my lawyer so I think you should know: I've killed a lot of people. Some girls in the apartment uptown uh, some homeless people maybe 5 or 10 um an NYU girl I met in Central Park. I left her in a parking lot behind some donut shop. I killed Bethany, my old girlfriend, with a nail gun, and some man uh some old faggot with a dog last week. I killed another girl with a chainsaw, I had to, she almost got away and uh someone else there I can't remember maybe a model, but she's dead too. And Paul Allen. I killed Paul Allen with an axe in the face, his body is dissolving in a bathtub in Hell's Kitchen. I don't want to leave anything out here. I guess I've killed maybe 20 people, maybe 40. I have tapes of a lot of it, uh some of the girls have seen the tapes. I even, um... I ate some of their brains, and I tried to cook a little. Tonight I, uh, I just had to kill a LOT of people. And I'm not sure I'm gonna get away with it this time. I guess I'll uh, I mean, ah, I guess I'm a pretty uh, I mean I guess I'm a pretty sick guy. So, if you get back tomorrow, I may show up at Harry's Bar, so you know, keep your eyes open.
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Patrick Bateman
I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.
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ATM Machine
Feed me a stray cat.
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Patrick Bateman
New card. What do you think?
Craig McDermott
Whoa-ho. Very nice. Look at that.
Patrick Bateman
Picked them up from the printer's yesterday.
David Van Patten
Good coloring.
Patrick Bateman
That's bone. And the lettering is something called Silian Rail.
David Van Patten
It's very cool, Bateman, but that's nothing. Look at this.
Timothy Bryce
That is really nice.
David Van Patten
Eggshell with Romalian type. What do you think?
Patrick Bateman
Nice.
Timothy Bryce
Jesus. That is really super. How'd a nitwit like you get so tasteful?
Timothy Bryce
But wait. You ain't seen nothin' yet. Raised lettering, pale nimbus. White.
Patrick Bateman
Impressive. Very nice.
David Van Patten
Hmm.
Patrick Bateman
Let's see Paul Allen's card.
Patrick Bateman
[Thinking]
Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh, my God. It even has a watermark.
Luis Carruthers
Is something wrong, Patrick? You're sweating.
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Patrick Bateman
Do you like Phil Collins? I've been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch was the group's undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums. Christy, take off your robe. Listen to the brilliant ensemble playing of Banks, Collins and Rutherford. You can practically hear every nuance of every instrument. Sabrina, remove your dress. In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, the sheer songwriting, this album hits a new peak of professionalism. Sabrina, why don't you, uh, dance a little. Take the lyrics to Land of Confusion. In this song, Phil Collins addresses the problems of abusive political authority. In Too Deep is the most moving pop song of the 1980s, about monogamy and commitment. The song is extremely uplifting. Their lyrics are as positive and affirmative as anything I've heard in rock. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. Phil Collins' solo career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying, in a narrower way. Especially songs like In the Air Tonight and Against All Odds. Sabrina, don't just stare at it, eat it. But I also think Phil Collins works best within the confines of the group, than as a solo artist, and I stress the word artist. This is Sussudio, a great, great song, a personal favorite.
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Patrick Bateman
I'm fucking serious. It's fucking over, us, this is no joke. I don't think we should see each other any more.
Evelyn Williams
But your friends are my friends and my friends are your friends. I really don't think it would work. You have a little something...
Patrick Bateman
I know that your friends are my friends and, uh... I've thought about that. You can have 'em.
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Jean
What's that?
Patrick Bateman
Duct tape. I need it for... taping something.
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Patrick Bateman
Do you know what Ed Gein said about women?
David Van Patten
Ed Gein? The maitre 'd at Canal Bar?
Patrick Bateman
No, serial killer, Wisconsin, the '50s.
Craig McDermott
So what did he say?
Patrick Bateman
"When I see a pretty girl walking down the street, I think two things. One part wants me to take her out, talk to her, be real nice and sweet and treat her right."
David Van Patten
And what did the other part think?
Patrick Bateman
"What her head would look like on a stick... "
[laughs]
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Waiter
Would you like to hear today's specials?
Patrick Bateman
Not if you want to keep your spleen.
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Patrick Bateman
Hey, I'm a child of divorce, gimme a break!
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Patrick Bateman
[voice-over]
There is a moment of sheer panic when I realize that Paul's apartment overlooks the park... and is obviously more expensive than mine.
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Evelyn Williams
You're inhuman.
Patrick Bateman
No... I'm in touch with humanity.
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Patrick Bateman
[after being kicked in the face by Christie the call girl]
Not the face! You bitch! Not the fucking face, you piece of bitch trash!
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Patrick Bateman
Come on, Bryce. There are a lot more important problems than Sri Lanka to worry about.
Timothy Bryce
Like what?
Patrick Bateman
Well, we have to end apartheid for one. And slow down the nuclear arms race, stop terrorism and world hunger. We have to provide food and shelter for the homeless, and oppose racial discrimination and promote civil rights, while also promoting equal rights for women. We have to encourage a return to traditional moral values. Most importantly, we have to promote general social concern and less materialism in young people.
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Patrick Bateman
He was into that whole Yale thing.
Donald Kimball
Yale thing?
Patrick Bateman
Yeah, Yale thing.
Donald Kimball
What whole Yale thing?
Patrick Bateman
Well, for one thing, I think he was probably a closet homosexual who did a lot of cocaine. That whole Yale thing.
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Patrick Bateman
I think, um, Evelyn that, uh, we've lost touch.
Evelyn Williams
Why? What's wrong?
Patrick Bateman
My need to engage in homicidal behaviour on a massive scale cannot be corrected but, uh, I have no other way to fulfill my needs.
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Patrick Bateman
Evelyn, I'm sorry. I just, uh... you're not terribly important to me.
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Luis Carruthers
Patrick? Is that you?
Patrick Bateman
No Luis. It's not me. You're mistaken.
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[Just after breaking up]
Evelyn Williams
Where are you going?
Patrick Bateman
I am just leaving.
Evelyn Williams
But where?
Patrick Bateman
I have to return some videotapes.
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[Looking at Paul Allen's business card]
Patrick Bateman
Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark!
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Patrick Bateman
I'm on a diet.
Jean
What, you're kidding, right? You look great... so fit... and thin.
Patrick Bateman
Well, you can always be thinner... look better.
Jean
Then maybe we shouldn't go out to dinner. I wouldn't want you to lose your willpower.
Patrick Bateman
That's okay. I'm not very good at controlling it anyway.
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Patrick Bateman
[voice-over]
Paul Allen has mistaken me for this dickhead Marcus Halberstram. It seems logical because Marcus also works at P&P and in fact does the same exact thing I do and he also has a penchant for Valentino suits and Oliver Peoples glasses. Marcus and I even go to the same barber, although I have a slightly better haircut.
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Luis Carruthers
Patrick, where did you get that overnight bag?
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Patrick Bateman
Don't you want to know what I do?
Christie
No. No, not really.
Patrick Bateman
Well, I work on Wall Street... for Pierce & Pierce. Have you heard of it?
[the girls shake their heads. Patrick's jaw tightens]
Christie
You have a really nice place here, Paul. How much did you pay for it?
Patrick Bateman
Well, actually, that's none of your business, Christie. But I can assure you, it certainly wasn't cheap.
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Patrick Bateman
I don't want to get you drunk, but, ah, that's a very fine Chardonnay you're not drinking.
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Patrick Bateman
[voiceover]
I'm on the verge of tears by the time we arrive at Espace, since I'm positive we won't have a decent table. But we do, and relief washes over me in an awesome wave.
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David Van Patten
They don't have a good bathroom to do coke in.
Craig McDermott
Are you sure that's Paul Allen over there?
Timothy Bryce
Yes. McDufus, I am.
Craig McDermott
He's handling the Fisher account.
Timothy Bryce
Lucky bastard.
Craig McDermott
Lucky Jew bastard.
Patrick Bateman
Jesus, McDermott, what does that have to do with anything?
Craig McDermott
I've seen that bastard sitting in his office, talking on the phone to the CEOs, spinning a fucking menorah.
Patrick Bateman
Not a menorah. You spin a dreidel.
Craig McDermott
Oh, my God. Bateman, do you want me to fry you up some fucking potato pancakes? Some latkes?
Patrick Bateman
No. Just cool it with the anti-Semitic remarks.
Craig McDermott
Oh, I forgot. Bateman's dating someone from the ACLU.
Timothy Bryce
The voice of reason... the boy next door.
[looks at restaurant bill]
Timothy Bryce
Speaking of reasonable, only $570...
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Evelyn Williams
Thousands of roses and lots of chocolate truffles. Godiva, and oysters in the half-shell.
Patrick Bateman
[Bateman narrating]
I'm trying to listen to the new Robert Palmer tape, but Evelyn, my supposed fiancée, keeps buzzing in my ear.
Evelyn Williams
Annie Leibovitz. We'll get Annie Leibovitz. And we'll have to get someone to videotape. Patrick, we should do it.
Patrick Bateman
Do what?
Evelyn Williams
Get married. Have a wedding.
Patrick Bateman
No, I can't take the time off work.
Evelyn Williams
Your father practically owns the company. You can do anything you like, silly.
Patrick Bateman
I don't want to talk about it.
Evelyn Williams
You hate that job anyway. I don't see why you just don't quit.
Patrick Bateman
Because I want to fit in.
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Evelyn Williams
What does Mr. Grinch want for Christmas? And don't say breast implants again.
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Patrick Bateman
I know my behavior can be... *erratic* sometimes.
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Patrick Bateman
I'm leaving. I've assessed the situation, and I'm going.
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Craig McDermott
If they have a great personality and they're not great looking... then who fucking cares?
Patrick Bateman
Well, let's just say hypotetically ok? What if they have a great personality?
[pause, all laugh]
Patrick Bateman
I know, I know.
[all in unison]
Patrick Bateman
Patrick Bateman, Craig McDermott, David Van Patten: There are no girls with good personalities.
David Van Patten
A good personality consists of a chick with a little hard body, who will satisfy all sexual demands without being too slutty about things, and who essentially will keep her dumb fucking mouth shut.
Craig McDermott
The only girls with good personalities who are smart or maybe funny or halfway intelligent or talented, though god knows what the fuck that means, are ugly chicks.
David Van Patten
Absolutely.
Craig McDermott
And this is because they have to make up for how fucking unnattractive they are.
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Timothy Bryce
[after snorting "cut" cocaine] It's a fucking milligram of sweetener. I want to get high off this, not sprinkle it on my fucking oatmeal.
Patrick Bateman
Definitely weak, but I have a feeling that if we do enough of it we'll be okay.
Club Patron
[leans over from another booth] Will you keep it down? I'm trying to do drugs!
Timothy Bryce
Fuck you! Calm down. Let's do it anyway. That is if the FAGGOT in the next stall thinks it's okay!
Club Patron
FUCK YOU!
Timothy Bryce
HEY FUCK YOU! Sorry, dude. Steroids. Okay, let's do it.
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Patrick Bateman
I think if you stay, something bad will happen. I think I might hurt you. You don't want to get hurt, do you?
Jean
No. No, I guess not. I don't want to get bruised.
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David Van Patten
What are you so fucking zany about?
Patrick Bateman
I'm just a happy camper! Rockin' and a-rollin'!
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Patrick Bateman
Did you know that Whitney Houston's debut LP, called simply Whitney Houston had 4 number one singles on it? Did you know that, Christie?
Elizabeth
[laughing]
You actually listen to Whitney Houston? You own a Whitney Houston CD? More than one?
Patrick Bateman
It's hard to choose a favorite among so many great tracks, but "The Greatest Love of All" is one of the best, most powerful songs ever written about self-preservation, dignity. Its universal message crosses all boundaries and instills one with the hope that it's not too late to better ourselves. Since, Elizabeth, it's impossible in this world we live in to empathize with others, we can always empathize with ourselves. It's an important message, crucial really. And it's beautifully stated on the album.
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Donald Kimball
Huey Lewis and the News. Great stuff! I just bought it on my way here. You heard it?
Patrick Bateman
Never. I mean I don't really like singers.
Donald Kimball
Not a big music fan, huh?
Patrick Bateman
No, I like music. Just they're... Huey's too black sounding for me.
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Jean
Are you dating anyone?
Patrick Bateman
Maybe. I don't know... Not really.
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Patrick Bateman
You're dating Luis, he's in Arizona. You're fucking me and we haven't made plans. What could you possibly be up to tonight?
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Patrick Bateman
Pumpkin, you're dating the biggest dickweed in New York. Pumpkin, you're dating a tumbling, tumbling dickweed.
Courtney Rawlinson
Patrick, stop calling me pumpkin, OK?
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Patrick Bateman
Did you know that Ted Bundy's first dog, a collie, was named Lassie?
[laughs]
Jean
Who's Ted Bundy?
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Harold Carnes
[to his party]
Face it. The Japanese will own most of this country by the end of the 90's.
[Carnes halfheartedly greets him with a small nod and looks away, putting a cigarette in his mouth]
Patrick Bateman
So, Harold, did you get my message?
Harold Carnes
[looks back at him with sudden interest, takes cigarette out of his mouth and shakes Bateman's hand, smiling]
Jesus, yes! That was hilarious! That was you, wasn't it?
Patrick Bateman
Yeah, naturally.
Harold Carnes
Bateman killing Allen and the escort girls. That's fabulous. That's rich.
Patrick Bateman
What exactly do you mean?
Harold Carnes
The message you left. By the way, Davis, how's Cynthia? You're still seeing her, right?
Patrick Bateman
W-w-wait, Harold. What do you mean?
Harold Carnes
Excuse me. Nothing. It's good to see you.
[looks to the other side of the room]
Harold Carnes
Is that Edward Towers?
[he tries to walk off but Bateman stops him, totally bewildered]
Patrick Bateman
Wait, um...
Harold Carnes
Davis, I'm not one to badmouth anyone. Your joke was amusing, but come on, man. You had one fatal flaw. Bateman is such a dork. Such a boring spineless lightweight.
[Bateman closes his eyes, trying to shrug it off]
Harold Carnes
Now if you said Bryce or McDermott... Otherwise, it was amusing. Now if you'll excuse me, I really must be going.
[Carnes' smile diminishes, Bateman speaks softly]
Patrick Bateman
I did it, Carnes. I killed him. *I'm* Patrick Bateman. I chopped Allen's fucking head off.
[Carnes' amusement is gone, simply stares at Bateman]
Patrick Bateman
The whole message I left on your machine was true.
Harold Carnes
[deadpan tone]
Excuse me. I really must be going now.
Patrick Bateman
[Carnes tries once again to leave but Bateman pulls him back]
No, listen! Don't you know who I am? I'm not Davis. I'm Patrick Bateman.
[Carnes continues to stare, saying nothing]
Patrick Bateman
We talked on the phone all the time. Don't you recognize me? You're my lawyer.
[leans in closer]
Patrick Bateman
Now, Carnes, listen. Listen very, very carefully... I killed Paul Allen, and I liked it.
[Carnes looks disbelievingly at him]
Patrick Bateman
I can't make myself any clearer.
Harold Carnes
But that's simply not possible. And I don't find this funny anymore.
Patrick Bateman
It never was supposed to be. Why isn't it possible?
Harold Carnes
It's just not.
Patrick Bateman
Why not, you stupid bastard?
Harold Carnes
Because I had dinner with Paul Allen twice in London, just 10 days ago.
Patrick Bateman
No, you...
[suddenly dumbfounded]
Patrick Bateman
... didn't.
Harold Carnes
Now if you'll excuse me.
[Carnes finally walks away, leaving the puzzled and horrified Bateman all alone]
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Courtney Rawlinson
Stop it, I'm...
Patrick Bateman
- on a lot of lithium?
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Patrick Bateman
[narrating]
I'm fairly certain that Timothy Bryce and Evelyn are having an affair. Timothy is the only interesting person I know. I'm almost completely indifferent as to whether Evelyn knows I'm having an affair with Courtney Rawlinson, her closest friend. Courtney is almost perfect looking. She's usually operating on one or more psychiatric drugs; tonight I believe it's Xanax. More disturbing than the drug use, though, is the fact that she's engaged to Luis Carruthers, the biggest dufus in the business.
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Patrick Bateman
Your compliment was sufficient, Luis.
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Patrick Bateman
That's a very fine chardonnay you're drinking. I want you to clean your vagina.
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Patrick Bateman
[voiceover]
When I get to Paul Allen's place, I use the keys I took from his pocket. There is a moment of sheer panic when I realize that Paul's apartment overlooks the park and is obviously more expensive than mine. I calm myself and move into the bedroom, where I find his suitcase and start to pack.
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Patrick Bateman
[Impersonating Paul Allen's voicemail]
Hi, this is Paul Allen. I'm being called away to London for a few days. Meredith, I'll call you when I get back. Hasta la vista, baby.
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[to Al, a homeless person]
Patrick Bateman
Get a god-damn job Al.
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Donald Kimball
When was the last time you were with Paul Allen?
Patrick Bateman
We'd gone to a new musical called 'Oh Africa, Brave Africa'. It was a laugh riot.
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Patrick Bateman
[faking a conversation on the phone]
Now, John, you've to wear clothes in proportion to your physique. There are definite dos and don'ts, good buddy of wearing a bold striped shirt. A bold stripe shirt calls for solid colored or discreetly patterned suits and ties.
[pause]
Patrick Bateman
Yes, always tip the stylist 15%. Listen, John, I've gotta go, T. Boone Pickens just walked in.
[laughs]
Patrick Bateman
Just joking. No, don't tip the owner of the salon. Okay John? Right? Got it.
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[first lines]
Waiter #1
Our pasta this evening is squid ravioli in a lemon grass broth with goat cheese profiteroles, and I also have an arugula Caesar salad. For entrees this evening, I have swordfish meatloaf with onion marmalade, rare roasted partridge breast in raspberry coulis with a sorrel timbale.
Waiter #2
...and grilled free-range rabbit with herbed french fries. Our pasta tonight is a squid ravioli in a lemon grass broth, and the fish tonight is a grilled...
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Timothy Bryce
God, I hate this place. It's a chick restaurant. Why aren't we at Dorsia?
Craig McDermott
Because Bateman won't give the maitre d' head.
[Bateman chuckles sarcastically and flicks a toothpick at McDermott]
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Craig McDermott
}: I'm not really hungry, I just need to have reservations somewhere.
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Paul Allen
This is really a beehive of, uh, activity, Halberstam. This place is hot, very hot.
Patrick Bateman
Listen, the mud soup and the charcoal arugula are outrageous here.
Paul Allen
Yeah, well. You're late.
Patrick Bateman
Hey, I'm a child of divorce. Give me a break.
[studies menu]
Patrick Bateman
Hmmmm, I see they've omitted the pork loin with lime Jell-O.
Patrick Bateman
[looks across the room]
Is that Ivana Trump over there? Jeez, Patrick, I mean Marcus, what are you thinking? Why would Ivana be at Texarkana?
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Patrick Bateman
Just cool it with the anti-Semitic remarks.
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[at Paul Allen's apartment, empty and painted white]
Real estate agent
You saw the ad in the Times?
Patrick Bateman
No... Yeah, I mean yeah, in the Times.
Real estate agent
There was no ad in the Times. I think you should go now.
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Evelyn Williams
You hate that job anyway. I don't see why you don't just quit.
Patrick Bateman
Because I want to fit in.
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Jean
Make someone happy. Have you ever wanted to?
Patrick Bateman
I'm looking for, uh...
[Puts nail gun to the back of Jean's head]
Patrick Bateman
I guess you could say I just want to have a meaningful relationship with someone special.
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[repeated line]
Patrick Bateman
I'm not here.
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Patrick Bateman
Hamilton, have a holly-jolly Christmas.
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Evelyn Williams
What about the past?
Patrick Bateman
We never really shared one.
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Patrick Bateman
Wasn't Rothschild originally handling the Fisher account? How did you get it?
Paul Allen
Well, Halberstram, I could tell you... but then I'd have to kill ya.
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Patrick Bateman
Not quite blonde, are we? More of a dirty blonde.
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Timothy Bryce
Don't you know anything about Sri Lanka? About how the Sikhs are killing like tons of Israelis over there?
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Timothy Bryce
He makes himself out to be a harmless old codger, but inside... inside...
Craig McDermott
"Inside," yes, "inside... " - believe it or not, Bryce, we're actually listening to you...
Timothy Bryce
Come on, Bateman, what do you think?
Patrick Bateman
Whatever.
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Patrick Bateman
Jean, I'm not going to make it... I'm not going to... make it... to the office this afternoon.
Patrick Bateman
Stop sounding so fucking... sad! *Jesus*!
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[about Paul Allen's mysterious disappearence]
Patrick Bateman
The world just opens up and swallows them.
Donald Kimball
Eerie. Very eerie.
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Patrick Bateman
[excusing himself from Detective Kimball]
Listen, you'll have to excuse me. I have a lunch meeting with Cliff Huxtable at the Four Seasons in 20 minutes.
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Courtney Rawlinson
Listen Patrick, can we talk?
Patrick Bateman
You look... marvelous. There's nothing to say.
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Victoria
[referring to the bloodstains on Bateman's sheets]
What are those?
Patrick Bateman
Oh, uh, it's - cranberry juice. Uh, cran-apple.
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Donald Kimball
I just have some questions about Paul Allen and yourself.
Patrick Bateman
Coffee?
Donald Kimball
No, I'm okay.
Patrick Bateman
Apollinaris?
Donald Kimball
No, I'm okay.
Patrick Bateman
Can you bring Mr...?
Donald Kimball
Kimball.
Patrick Bateman
Mr. Kimball a bottle of Apollinaris. It's no problem.
Patrick Bateman
So, what's the topic of discussion?
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Patrick Bateman
New York Matinee called it "a playful but mysterious little dish".
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Donald Kimball
I'm sorry. I should've made an appointment. Was that anything important?
Patrick Bateman
Oh, that? Just mulling over business problems, examining opportunities, exchanging rumors, spreading gossip.
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Patrick Bateman
Don't you know all this?
Donald Kimball
I just wanted to know if you know.
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Patrick Bateman
I hope I'm not being cross-examined here.
Donald Kimball
Do you feel that way?
Patrick Bateman
No, not really.
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Patrick Bateman
Hey, is that Donald Trump's car?
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Patrick Bateman
I killed Paul Allen. And I liked it.
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Patrick Bateman
Mistletoe alert!
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Timothy Bryce
Gorbachev is downstairs. McDermott went to sign a peace treaty between the United States and Russia. He's the one behind Glasnost.
Young Woman
He said he was in mergers and acquisitions.
Timothy Bryce
You're not con-fused, are you?
Young Woman
No, not really.
Caron
Gorbachev is not downstairs.
Timothy Bryce
Caron's right. Gorbachev's not downstairs. He's at Tunnel.
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Patrick Bateman
Pumpkin, you're dating an asshole.
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[repeated line]
Patrick Bateman
Just say no.
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Craig McDermott
Cheer up, Bateman. What's the matter? No shiatsu this morning?
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Elizabeth
[to Christie the prostitute]
What do you do?
Patrick Bateman
She's my... cousin.
Elizabeth
Mm-hmm.
Patrick Bateman
She's from... France.
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Patrick Bateman
What's wrong with that? It's totally disease-free.
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Courtney Rawlinson
Will you call me before Easter?
Patrick Bateman
Maybe.
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Patrick Bateman
Negative. Cancel it.
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Paul Allen
Is that a raincoat?
Patrick Bateman
Yes it is!
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Elizabeth
I'm not a lesbian. Why would you think I would be into that?
Patrick Bateman
Well, you went to Sarah Lawrence, for one.
Elizabeth
Those are Sarah Lawrence GUYS, Patrick.
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Elizabeth
[talking on phone] I'm at this guy's place... sorry what's the name again?
Patrick Bateman
Paul Allen.
Elizabeth
[into phone] Anyway I'm at Paul Norman's...
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[to Christie the prostitute]
Elizabeth
You look familiar. Where do you summer? Southampton?
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Donald Kimball
Where were you the night he disappeared?
Patrick Bateman
Well... I guess I was probably returning videotapes.
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Patrick Bateman
Do not wear that outfit again. Wear a dress, or a skirt or something.
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Night Watchman
[his last words]
Burning the midnight oil, Mr. Smith? Don't forget to sign in.
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David Van Patten
Whose idea was it to order dry beers? I need a scotch.
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Patrick Bateman
So, Dorsia... is where Jean wants to go.
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Patrick Bateman
This Saturday? I can't. I have a matinee of Les Mis.
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Courtney Rawlinson
[heavily drugged] Is this Dorsia?
Patrick Bateman
[holding a Barcadia menu] Yes, dear.
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Patrick Bateman
Can I get a table for two at 8 or 8:30 perhaps?
Dorsia Maitre Di
We're totally booked.
Patrick Bateman
Perfect.
Dorsia Maitre Di
No I said we're...
Patrick Bateman
Two for 8:00? Perfect. See you then!
[hangs up]
Patrick Bateman
What?
Jean
You didn't give them your name.
Patrick Bateman
They know me.
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Donald Kimball
Frankly I think the guy went a little nutso. He'll probably turn up somewhere sooner or later. I mean the idea that one of his friends killed him for no reason whatsoever would be too ridiculous. Isn't that right, Patrick?
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Paul Allen
Why are there copies of the style section all over the floor? Do you have a dog? A little chow or something?
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Paul Allen
Great tan, Marcus. Really impressive. Where do you tan?
Patrick Bateman
Salon.
Paul Allen
I've got a tanning bed at home. You should look into it.
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Harold Carnes
You had one fatal flaw. Bateman is such a dork. Such a boring spineless lightweight.
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Patrick Bateman
What? She was a hot number.
Elizabeth
If you had a platinum card she'd give you a blowjob, need I say more?
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[Patrick prepares to strangle him from behind with leather gloves, but Luis turns around and kisses the glove]
Luis Carruthers
Patrick... why here?
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Paul Allen
Evelyn! Great ass! She goes out with that loser Patrick Bateman, what a dork!
Patrick Bateman
[chuckles] Another martini, Paul?
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Patrick Bateman
He went to the New York Yacht Club...
Donald Kimball
He owned a yacht?
Patrick Bateman
No, he just hung out there.
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Patrick Bateman
You want a lime? I can always get you a lime.
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Patrick Bateman
No! Not on the table! Put the spoon in the carton!
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Patrick Bateman
No! Not on the table! Use a coaster!
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Luis Carruthers
That's a wonderful suit. Don't tell me. Don't tell me. Let me guess. Mmm, Valentino Couture?
Patrick Bateman
Uh-huh.
Luis Carruthers
[Reaches out to touch it] It looks so soft.
Patrick Bateman
[Swats hand away] Your compliment was sufficient, Luis.
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David Van Patten
What about dinner?
Patrick Bateman
Is that all you ever have to contribute, Van Patten? "What about fucking dinner"?
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