HolmesAllow me to congratulate you on a brilliant bit of deduction.
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WatsonWould you... Would you like to hear old uncle make a noise like a duck?
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HolmesElementary, my dear fellow, one of the first principles in solving crime is never to disregard anything no matter how trivial.
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Holmes[Holmes and Watson are in a pub to see Joe Cisto, a piano player. Holmes introduces Cisto to Watson]I want you to meet a friend of mine, Dr. Watson. Joe Cisto.
Joe CistoOh, well, any friend of Mr. Holmes is a friend of mine.
HolmesBy proving to the satisfaction of the police that he was busy at the time blowing open someone's safe.
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WatsonHumph, Irene Adler, what a striking looking woman from the brief glance I had of her. Seems only yesterday. What charm. Hmmmm. What poise. And what a mind! Sharp enough and brilliant enough to outwit the-the great Sherlock Holmes himself!
HolmesI take it that the new issue of the Strand Magazine is out containing another of your slightly lurid tales.
WatsonI call it "A Scandal in Bohemia." Not a bad title, huh?
HolmesHmm. If you must record my exploits, I do wish you would put less emphasis on the melodramatic and more on the intellectual issues involved.
WatsonMore on the intel... what do you mean by that?
HolmesWell I do hope you've given, um, *The* Woman a soul, she had one, you know.
WatsonBy *The* Woman, I suppose you mean Irene Adler?
HolmesYes... I shall always remember her... as *The* Woman.
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Commissioner of Scotland YardBefore going further, Dr. Watson, I must inform you that this matter is not to be mentioned outside of this room.
Watson[Indignantly]Of course not. Do I look like a man who'd gossip?
HolmesLet's not go into that now, old fellow, shall we?
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'Stinky' Emery[remarking on one of his music boxes]Charming, isn't it?
HolmesQuite!
Watson[bored]They all sound to me like a lot of mice running about a tin roof.
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Colonel Cavanaugh[remarking on the poison gas]That little attachment, my dear Mr. Holmes, contains the deadly fluid known as monosulfide. The Germans use it with gratifying results in removing their undesirables.
HolmesPerfectly, thank you, old fellow, but I think this gentleman on the floor requires some medical attention. We must see that he looks his best, you know, when he's hanged.
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Colonel Cavanaugh[to a handcuffed Holmes, who is hanging from a beam]You find yourself like Muhammad's coffin, Mr. Holmes, suspended between Heaven and Earth.
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HolmesHowever, it's a mistake to accept something that's true merely because it's obvious.
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Mrs. Hilda CourtneyMy friends call me Hilda.
'Stinky' EmeryThanks. Mine call me Stinky.
Mrs. Hilda CourtneyStinky? How quaint
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[last lines]
Inspector HopkinsI still don't understand how you solved it, Mr. Holmes.
HolmesIt's entirely due to Doctor Watson. He gave me the clue when he mentioned Doctor Samuel Johnson.
Inspector HopkinsWell, congratulations, Doctor.
WatsonOh, thank you, Inspector. I don't think I could have done it entirely without Mr. Holmes' help, you know.
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HolmesThe truth is only arrived at... by the pain staking process of eliminating the untrue.
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Hamid[angrily, after Cavanaugh has grabbed a book of poems from him inscribed by Mrs. Courtney]Some day you'll go too far.
Colonel CavanaughReaching for a star, you fool.
HamidYet a fool may touch a star, Colonel Cavanaugh, if he reaches high enough.
Colonel CavanaughBut not possess it as you would.
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Watson[remarking on the stolen music box]But that box is only worth two pounds!
HolmesIt's worth a man's life, Watson!
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Mrs. Hilda CourtneyIt's so fearfully awkward, having a dead body lying about. Don't you agree Mr. Holmes?
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HolmesSomehow, the tune... is the key to the mystery. It must be the tune. Otherwise, why use three musical boxes to convey the message? Why not collar boxes, or shoe boxes?