The Little Rascals Movie Quotes
[Delivering Alfalfa's letter to Darla]
Buckwheat
Dear Darla, I hate your stinking guts. You make me vomit. You're scum between my toes! Love, Alfalfa.
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Buckwheat
Quick, what's the number for 911?
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Uh Huh
Actually, I've always had a rather extensive vocabulary, not to mention a phenomenal grasp of grammar and a superlative command of syntax. I simply chose not to employ them.
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Stymie
You only meet your once in a lifetime friends... once in a lifetime.
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Butch
When's the last time we beat you up?
Alfalfa
Well, let's see... today's the 10th, 30 days hath September, April, June, and November. It's not a leap year... yyyesterday.
Butch
You're due!
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Alfalfa
Then the clouds opened up and God said, "I hate you, Alfalfa!"
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Stymie
Wood doesn't grow on trees!
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Mr. Welling
[Stymie and Spanky go into a bank trying to get a loan disguised as two Amish men]
What is your account...
[looks up and pauses]
Mr. Welling
number?
George "Spanky" McFarland
Uh, seven.
Billy "Froggy" Laughlin
[is under Spanky to hold him up]
Try eight.
George "Spanky" McFarland
Eight?
Mr. Welling
[pulls their fake beards and lets them go hitting Stymie and Spanky in their faces]
Mr. Welling
If you were *my* kids, I'd punish you.
Stymie
If we were *your* kids, we'd punish ourselves!
George "Spanky" McFarland
You can't treat people like this, Mister!
Mr. Welling
You're not people, you're kids.
[as Spanky and Stymie leave, two actual Amish men are walking in]
Stymie
[to the two Amish men]
Good luck!
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Stymie
I... Stymie... Member in good standing of the He-Man Woman Haters Club... Do solemnly swear to be a he-man and hate women and not play with them or talk to them unless I have to. And especially: never fall in love, and if I do may I die slowly and painfully and suffer for hours - or until I scream bloody murder.
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George "Spanky" McFarland
Howdy, Mister. Me and my buddies have to build a new clubhouse.
Stymie
We have buy some lumber.
Lumberyard Clerk
What kind?
Stymie
Wood!
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Alfalfa
I'm usually a lover, not a fighter, but in your case, I'm willing to make an exception!
[punches Butch and he falls in the mud]
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Stymie
You're not thinkin' about Darla, are ya?
Alfalfa
No, of course not.
George "Spanky" McFarland
Good.
Alfalfa
I wonder if she's not thinking of me, too?
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Mr. Welling
Six kids, hard-working father, honest and trustworthy. Loan... denied!
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A.J. Ferguson
Is that a cowlick, or are you just happy to see me?
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Waldo
We just moved into town. My father bought the oil refinery.
Darla
That explains why you're so refined!
Alfalfa
Yeah, and so oily!
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Darla
Just as I thought, you are ashamed of me
Alfalfa
I'm not ashamed of you I'm proud of you... I just don't want anyone to see you.
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[about Spanky and Alfalfa's friendship]
Stymie
You're a team, like Bert and Ernie, Superman and Clark Kent, Milli and Vanilli.
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[the girls are talking about boys]
Twin #1
Twin #1, Twin #2: They like to moon ya!
[back at the Clubhouse]
Buckwheat
No, we don't!
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Alfalfa
Why am I soaking wet?
Porky
Don't worry, Alfalfa. I used to have the same problem.
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Buckwheat
We've got a dollar, we've got a dollar, we've got a dollar, hey, hey, hey, hey.
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George "Spanky" McFarland
People, people, we need your money!
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Buckwheat
[singing, as he and Porky are jogging to the race]
We're goin' to the race, we're gonna win first place, and you have an ugly face!
[Porky giggles happily]
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Buckwheat
Hey, my mom's here!
Porky
[sarcastically]
Whoopi!
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Butch
Any last words?
Alfalfa
[waves nervously]
Yeah, uh... see ya!
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Buckwheat's Mom
[after Alfalfa and Spanky win the race by the matter of Alfalfa's pointed hair]
Winner by a hair! *Yes*!
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Alfalfa
Is Spanky home?
Spanky's Dad
Sorry, Alfalfa. Spanky isn't here.
Alfalfa's Dad
I'm sorry, Spanky, Alfalfa's not here.
George "Spanky" McFarland
Darn.
Alfalfa
Darn.
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The Rascals
[singing] We are he-man woman haters/ We feed girls to alligators/ Our clubhouse burned down mighty low/ But we've got a plan to make some dough!
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George "Spanky" McFarland
[to Alfalfa]
How's the tooth ache, bub?
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Buckwheat
Hey, Spanky, me and Porky have an idea.
George "Spanky" McFarland
Keep it, you might need it when you grow up!
Buckwheat
Oh-tay.
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Alfalfa
Everything's working out perfectly. The guys are at the swimming hole, and I'm home with a tooth ache. Nothing could possibly go wrong.
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Darla
Waldo, I think we have to turn here!
Waldo
Girls have no sense of direction.
Darla
You know, you're starting to get on my nerves!
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Alfalfa
All knights ride into battle wearing the colors of their lady fair!
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Darla
This tastes like somebody poured it through an old boot!
Billy "Froggy" Laughlin
Actually, it's a sneaker!
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George "Spanky" McFarland
The clubhouse is fried crispy.
Billy "Froggy" Laughlin
Our lives are over.
George "Spanky" McFarland
And it's all your fault!
[Alfalfa stares off toward the now-burned club house]
George "Spanky" McFarland
That's right. Sure is.
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Alfalfa
[during the bloopers at the end]
I winded my ear up.
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A.J. Ferguson
Now the race course is marked off with arrows, and it ends right back here, where it started from.
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Alfalfa
Love note? No, this is gonna be a hate note!
Buckwheat
Buckwheat, Porky: Sounds good to me!
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Stymie
Porky, you sure know how to make a sand-wich!
Porky
That wasn't sand, that was kitty litter.
Buckwheat
Don't worry, it's pretty fresh.
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Buckwheat
Hey, Uh-Huh, does it stink in there?
Uh-Huh
Uh-Huh!
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Darla
Alfalfa, that's a part of you I've never seen before!
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Race Announcer
Hey everybody, don't forget: following the Go-Cart Derby, there will be a tiny tot bunny race at 3:30. Entrants must be five years and under. See you there!
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Alfalfa
[to Spanky]
Don't talk to me you Benedict Arnold! You, you Judas Priest!
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George "Spanky" McFarland
[during the Go-Cart Derby]
You snot wads stole our racer!
Butch
Finders keepers, losers suck!
Alfalfa
Ahhh - bite me!
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Alfalfa
Look!
[Butch and Woim look to their rights, then Alfalfa runs away very fast]
Woim
I don't see nothin'.
Butch
Come on, you doink!
[they get out of the go-cart and chase after Alfalfa]
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A.J. Ferguson
And now it gives me great pleasure to present this beautiful trophy and the prize money... to Alfalfa Switzer... and Spanky McFarland.
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Alfalfa
[Using the microphone]
I'm the barber of Seville!
[Swings the microphone down while Waldo pours a chemical into Alfalfa's cup, causing him to blow bubbles out on stage]
Alfalfa
Figaro! Figaro! Figaro!
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Alfalfa
Don't take this personal, lady, but my pal's real disappointed.
A.J. Ferguson
Ohh! What's the matter, sugar pie?
George "Spanky" McFarland
Well, we were just kinda hopin' that... A.J. Ferguson was gonna give us the trophy.
A.J. Ferguson
Well, boys, today's your lucky day.
[takes off patch on her suit, revealing her name "A.J. Ferguson"]
A.J. Ferguson
'Cause that's exactly who I am!
George "Spanky" McFarland
[shocked]
You're the best driver there is!
A.J. Ferguson
Well, thank you very much! You didn't do so bad yourself!
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