Jane
That's the world, that's politics. That's how it works. It starts out with big promises and ends up with jackshit happening. But like the man said: "If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal."
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Pat Candy
You know, when Adlai Stevenson was running for president, a woman came up to him on a rally one night and said, "Every thinking person will be voting for you." And Stevenson said, "Ma'am, that's not enough. I need a majority."
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Jane
[the llama walks off the set and is hit by a car]
It's like he killed himself rather than be in our commercial.
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Jane
"It may be possible to hold power based on guns; it is far better to win the heart of the nation".
Pat Candy
That's nice.
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[last lines]
Jane
I just kept going round and round and round. So I got out. I got off the carousel.
Jane
It's like someone said: "If you don't like the road you're on, start paving another one".
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Castillo
Did you hire me?
Jane
I'm sorry?
Castillo
Did you hire me?
Jane
No, no...
Castillo
I hired *you*!
Jane
No, nobody hired me. I cannot be hired. Unless you mean in the uh, you know, the technical sense, then yes, I probably was hired.
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Castillo
A leader must be a father to his people. I've always believed that. Sometimes a father has to be strict with his children for their own good. The people back there, they don't understand that.
Eddie
Whatever happens, sir, whatever happens, I'm very proud to be working for you.
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Pat Candy
[to Jane sitting silently]
If you fight with monsters for too long, you become a monster. And if you stare into the abyss too long..."Whatever the fuckin' rest of it is. I don't know...
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Jane
He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.
Hugo
Oh, look. Come on, we don't wanna hear any more Sun Tzu.
Jane
It is not Sun Tzu. It's Muhammad Ali.
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Castillo
I am the one in charge. Do you understand?
Jane
Uh, no, no. See, you're not in charge. You're not in charge. *I'm* not in charge. Okay? Why can't you understand that?
Castillo
What did you just say?
Jane
Maybe nobody's in charge! Maybe we're all just rollin' down a fucking hill and there's no one at the wheel. I don't know! Sir, why can you not say what you're supposed to say? Where is there a problem?
Castillo
Because I'm not just a puppet for you to play with!
Jane
Of course you are! Of course you're a puppet! As am I! We're just... We're just pawns.
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Pat Candy
So listen, um, when this is all over - I mean, no matter which way it goes - when we get back home, I'm going to spend hours pleasuring myself thinking about you.
Jane
That would be an honor, Pat. Thank you very much.
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Jane
[her first chat with Castillo]
People forget what you say, but they remember how you make them feel. Warren Beatty. And right now, you make people feel like you're gonna shoot them. People don't like you. But that's okay. Since love and fear can hardly exist together, if we must choose between them, it is far safer to be feared than loved. That's Warren Beatty as well. No, it's not. It's Machiavelli.
[hearty chuckle]
Jane
Sorry. I was just totally kidding.
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Jane
Is it soul-stealing? Yeah, it's soul-stealing. It's advertising. You convince people of something they don't need, and then you give it to 'em, and then you profit from it.
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Pat Candy
So maybe later, huh?
Jane
Maybe.
Pat Candy
Yeah?
Jane
Mmm-hmm.
Pat Candy
You know what I mean, right?
Jane
I can only assume.
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Interviewer
When you began your career, you must've had heroes, role models?
Jane
Who are my heroes? Well, when I first started in this business, my heroes were politicians and leaders. And then I met them.
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Jane
Lyndon Johnson was running for congress, and he tells his campaign manager to start a rumor that his opponent fucks pigs. And the manager said, 'nobody's gonna believe that.' And he says, 'I know. I just want to hear him deny it.'
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