Unfriended Movie Quotes
Text from Trailer
[from trailer] Online, your memories live forever... but so do your mistakes.
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Blaire's account
[a text suspiciously came out of nowhere, probably by Laura, who may have hacked into Blaire's account] What's fat and white and red all over? Ken in a blender.
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Val Rommel
[a message came from billie227, which Ken and his friends thought was a glitch]
Well, the glitch just typed!
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Laura
Never Have I Ever... got Adam arrested for selling weed.
Mitch Roussel
That was me...
Adam Sewell
WHAT? They put me in handcuffs!
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Laura
I wish I could forgive you.
[signs off following Blaire's apology and scroll through their shared facebook photos]
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Val Rommel
Ken if this is you I swear I will burn you alive.
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Blaire Lily
Look Laura, do you remember all the good times we had together, we were close friends and we drifted apart I'm sorry...
Laura
Drifted apart? Is that how you remember it?
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Adam Sewell
[when he hears some unusual noises inside his house]
Who's there? I HAVE A FUCKING GUN, YOU HEAR ME?
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Blaire Lily
Mitch? Mitch! MITCH!
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Laura
[from trailer]
This is gonna be fun.
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Laura
Let's play a game...
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Mitch Roussel
[to Adam, after founding out that he was sleeping with Blaire]
Uh, YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD! YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD!
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Blaire Lily
Please, Laura we are not bad people... we are good people
Laura
Really? Are you sure about that?
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Blaire Lily
[as the seconds drastically count down and Laura begins to type on facebook inbox]
Mitch... do you hate me...? Could you ever forgive me, I am so sorry...
[crying profusely]
Mitch Roussel
Blaire... I don't hate you, I love you... I love you so much
[Laura sends in her message to Blaire]
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[last lines]
Laura
'Drifted apart'? Is that how you remember it? I think there's more to the story.
[Laura then tags Blaire with the Leaky Laura video on her Facebook page]
Blaire Lily
No...
[the video shows Laura sleeping drunk on the ground, Blaire is then shown laughing in the video]
[video ends]
Blaire Lily
I'm sorry.
Laura
What you've done will live here forever.
[many of Blaire's Facebook friends post several angry comments on Blaire's page]
Laura
I wish I could forgive you, Blaire.
[Laura signs off Skype as Blaire is left alone consumed in guilt and fear, the door is then heard creaking open, a pair of hands slams the laptop screen shut]
Blaire Lily
NO! Laura?
[Laura's demonic face lunges at the screen until it cuts to black]
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Jess Felton
Who would hack into a dead girl's account?
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Adam Sewell
Fuck you Blaire.
Blaire Lily
I Hate you so much Adam.
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Val Rommel
Hey did you guys order your tickets two weeks ago like I asked youse to do...
Blaire Lily
Wh-... what seats are better... balcony or orchestra?
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Mitch Roussel
Never Have I Ever... roofied Ashley Dane and forced her to get an abortion
Adam Sewell
What the fuck Mitch? I did not roofie Ashley Dane and never I have ever forced her to an abortion... what the fuck!
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Ken Smith
Uh-oh! Someone's in their chonies! Oh someone's in their chonies!
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Blaire Lily
I got her!
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Jess Felton
Guys, who posted the video?
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Laura
Thank you Blaire, that must of been a hard thing to do...
Blaire Lily
No, please...
[shocked and slowing down in breath]
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Blaire Lily
I can't... I can't show you the note
[sinking her head in tears and shock]
Mitch Roussel
What more notes being passed between you and Adam? No fuck this! Either you show me the note Blaire or I am signing out, I swear to god! No fuck this! I am signing out you hear me, I've had enough of this, I'm signing out.
Laura
If Mitch signs out, he dies...
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Val Rommel
[In response to her tagged photos on Jess' facebook entitled VAL GETS SH*TFACED]
Jess, what the shit?
Val Rommel
These just came from your account, why did you post these?
Jess Felton
[laughing and still confused]
I've never seen these before but Val these are incredible, I didn't know you were so much fun.
Val Rommel
Delete them Jess.
Jess Felton
I don't what to say but I've never...
Val Rommel
Oh my god Jess you trashy little bitch delete them.
Jess Felton
[laughing in disbelief and curling back]
Wait a second, did you just call me trashy, seriously?
Val Rommel
Yes Jess, yes I did.
Jess Felton
[Angry and defensive]
Okay so you're asking me to do you a fucking favor by taking down these photos which I didn't post in the fucking first place.
Val Rommel
Oh my god, I'm asking for you a favor! I'm asking you for a favor really?
Jess Felton
Yeah, so you can either be nice to me and I can help you, or you can suck my fucking dick and piss off.
Val Rommel
Can you just close your trashy little mouth for like one second.
Jess Felton
Okay I will beat your goddamn ass any day if you come over here bitch.
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Adam Sewell
Hey Mitch whose your buddy?
[glances at the icon of billie227 on the six-way call]
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Mitch Roussel
Ok, everybody right now put your hands up... whose doing this?
[raises hands and is followed at seconds later by Blaire, Jess, Adam, Ken and Val's hands as well]
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Blaire Lily
Please, I need you to call the police, my friend's being attacked, my friend's being hurt.
[whimpers and cries]
Chatroulette Girl
911, police please, ok so I have this girl on webcam who says her friend is being attacked, location is Fresno, California.
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Laura
Never Have I Ever... defaced Laura Barns' grave.
[the countdown of seconds going from 19 continues]
Adam Sewell
Please Laura she's telling the truth, it was me Laura, it wasn't Jess.
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Blaire Lily
I wanna make prom night, the night.
Mitch Roussel
You serious? You wouldn't lie to me now
[teases Blaire with knife in front of his cam]
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Blaire Lily
This is Laura's account.
[surprised as a skype message surfaces from billie227]
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Adam Sewell
You guys are so cute.
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Val Rommel
Hey billie, why don't you give me your address so I can come over there and knock the trash out of your mouth.
Ken Smith
Oooh fight!
Laura
You wouldn't like it here...
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[begins chuckling quietly whilst recording Laura and zooming in on her face]
Laura
[murmuring]
mmmhm...
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Jess Felton
[Upon Blaire revealing her note causing Adam's death, screaming, hyperventilating and crying]
You stupid bitch! You killed him.
Blaire Lily
[Crying and in shock rocking back up against bedside wall]
I'm so sorry Jess, I didn't know what else to do.
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Laura
[as Skype account IM billie227]
Whose ready for a bonus round?
Jess Felton
[Crying and whimpering as she still brandishes her two remaining fingers in Never Have I Ever]
No!
Adam Sewell
[standing upwards and brandishing his father's gun]
No fuck this! I'm fucking ready for you motherfucker! Come on over! I'll fucking kill you!
[Living room printer then begins printing one paper copy]
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Laura
[Via billie227 Skype IM]
Never Have I Ever Crashed Jess' Mom's Car.
Jess Felton
That was one of you guys? That was fucking one of you guys.
Blaire Lily
[Puts finger down]
It was me Jess, I'm sorry, I was drunk and it happened and I didn't know how to tell you Jess.
Jess Felton
F-Fuck you.
Adam Sewell
Great friend Blaire.
Blaire Lily
I've apologized, she has not apologized for starting this rumor thing about me. Which is not true by the way.
Mitch Roussel
Hey we're sticking together on this stop it.
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Blaire Lily
[Closing ChatRoulette tab after the friendly girl from Nevada contacts the Fresno County Sheriff's department and informs of an oncoming squad car to Jess' provided address]
Okay Jess so the police are coming, they are on their way, you're going to be fine Jess.
Jess Felton
[Grasping her ensuite bathroom door looking out at Blaire and Mitch whimpering and crying in fright]
Why is she doing this?
Laura
[Skype IM messaging with a smiley face emoticon as Jess continues to cry and grasp her bathroom door talking with Blaire and Mitch in fright]
Goodbye, Jess.
Blaire Lily
[Jess' feed then begins to freeze and disappear]
Jess? Jess, no, Okay run Jess, just run!
Jess Felton
[Rolling across bathroom door right to left in pain and struggle screaming before coming to a sudden pain filled plea]
No!
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Blaire Lily
Please I need you to call the Fresno County Police Department right now, something is happening...
Rando Pauls
[Stoned and mocking Blaire's plea on ChatRoulette]
Something is happening... it is happening right now
[begins to laugh along with friend]
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Laura
Never Have I Ever... spread the rumor that Blaire has an eating disorder.
Jess Felton
That was me...
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Blaire Lily
Jess listen to me, i'm going to search for help, remain calm
Jess Felton
Please Hurry!
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Val Rommel
Fuck this! Nope... I'm calling the police, that's a threat
[pulls up her mobile and dials 911 whilst disconnecting from skype]
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Mitch Roussel
I can't believe you'd do this me, I love you fucking slut
[crying]
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Laura
Woo! Who wants to see my butt? She's going to see my ass tonight!
[points at a female partygoer]
Matt
Yeah! I'm going to see your ass tonight too Laura!
[moves in over a now lying down Laura]
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Ken Smith
Alright, it's just a game, we're all just gonna download it and play it right?
Laura
[IM] ken, what are you doing?
Ken Smith
Not doing anything, man. I just wanted to play a game! You like games you seem to like games, dude, I thought we were gonna play. A fucking, great game for you man.
Trojan Destroyer program
[everybody downloads just a game.dmg/.exe]
Adam Sewell
Ok, I just launched it.
Trojan Destroyer program
[program launches and scans]
Adam Sewell
I got something for you, billie227.
Ken Smith
Is it searching, guys? Did everybody download it?
Blaire Lily
Mine's got something. Mine's got something.
Ken Smith
Ok, good. Wait until everybody got something. Is it flagging? Has everybody got some flags? It should be more than one, two, it should be multiple. Ok cool.
Laura
[starts timer]
[IM]
Laura
u have 1 minute to stop this
Ken Smith
Ok, trash. Trash all of those and then empty your recycling bins, ok? Empty your recycling bins after trashing them, do not save them. Everything! Everything that's flagged.
Mitch Roussel
It's not gonna delete these.
Ken Smith
Just fucking listen to me! Trust me, dude.
Adam Sewell
[grabs gun and points at screen]
Ken Smith
Is it deleted? What's going on? Keep me updated, guys. Ok, Adam's done. Mitch?
Mitch Roussel
[finishes scan] Mine's the same.
Ken Smith
Ok, Jess?
Jess Felton
[finishes scan] Mine's done!
Ken Smith
Ok, Blaire? Blaire! Blaire!
Blaire Lily
We're just gonna
[inaudible/webcam glitch]
Blaire Lily
Blaire's bin guys. It's gonna be cool. I promise!
Laura
[timer flashes 10 seconds left in red]
Blaire Lily
WHY IS HE COUNTING DOWN?
Ken Smith
Ok, it's cool, it's cool Blaire!
Laura
[leaves call]
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billie227
Can someone please explain the rules to Laura?
Adam Sewell
Why don't *you* explain to her, you GAY MAN!
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Ken Smith
Now to try some of my famous brew of salsa!
[brandishes mixed up blender of food and drink to group]
Blaire Lily
Ken that is so disgusting!
[laughing]
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Mitch Roussel
Take it off, before I cut it off
[brandishes kitchen knife smirking]
Blaire Lily
[beginning to unbutton after rising up from bed laughing]
You're cute when you're violent.
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Jess Felton
Laura! Laura please it wasn't me, I wasn't lying! Blaire, Blaire please I swear it wasn't me! You know I never did that, please make her stop, why is she doing this?
[crying and backing away from her desktop]
Blaire Lily
Jess I know, Jess please listen to me... everything is going to be ok, Laura please! Laura she didn't do anything please stop!
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Val Rommel
Hi billie, listen sweetheart you're a fucking asshole if you don't take these down right now, i'll come over there and knock the trash out of your ears.
Laura
Sounds great, But you wouldn't like it here.
Val Rommel
Who the fuck is this guy?
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Jess Felton
What is that? Like a lattice or crate?
[Ken sighs and stands up off his chair]
Ken Smith
Ken!
Ken Smith
What?
Jess Felton
Uh, stand back for a second.
Ken Smith
Why?
Adam Sewell
Just do it dude.
[Ken stands back and begins to wave his right arm indicating Laura's webcam is capturing him from behind]
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Laura
[Via billie227 IM]
Never Have I Ever offered to trade Jess' life for my own.
Jess Felton
[Upon reading IM and as countdown IM's begin in shock and disbelief]
What? Guys are you serious?
[beginning to cry]
Mitch Roussel
No, none of this did that, we wouldn't do that
[pacing back and forth shaking head in disbelief]
Adam Sewell
Blaire?
Adam Sewell
How do we know? Put down a finger and we'll know.
Mitch Roussel
Hey she already said it wasn't her stop pushing.
Adam Sewell
Oh and she always tells the truth Mitch?
Mitch Roussel
[In angry, certain defense of Blaire]
Yeah! Yeah.
Adam Sewell
[Taken aback in drunk, angry state]
Oh she does! Cause you always tell the truth isn't that right Blaire? Cause you always tell the truth!
Adam Sewell
[as billie227's countdown IM's reach two seconds in panic putting down a finger]
Fuck, it was me alright.
Jess Felton
Adam!
Mitch Roussel
You're a piece of sh-You're a fucking piece of shit you know!
Adam Sewell
Oh fuck you! You're a fucking piece of shit, he told me if I traded Jess he'd let, me, you and Blaire live, so I was saving your life Mitch and I was saving your life Blaire, but none of you can understand that cause I am the bad person cause you all have perfect morals and your perfect fucking lives.
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Laura
[Via Skype IM]
Never Have I Ever spread the rumor that Blaire has an eating disorder.
Blaire Lily
Jess how could you do that to me?
Jess Felton
What with all the times you'd come around and we'd go out and you being offered or asked about food and you saying no sorry I'm not hungry, I've already eaten, all that shit.
[weezing out the final parts of the explanation as Blaire goes over her response]
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Blaire Lily
[Crying in relief at test alarm and notification on desktop]
It's an alarm I set for tomorrow, we have a test.
[Mitch slightly laughs in fear filled response]
Blaire Lily
Mitchie, do you hate me?
Mitch Roussel
[Crying and hyperventilating]
No I don't hate you Blaire.
Mitch Roussel
No I don't hate you, I love you so much.
Laura
One more question.
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Laura
Never Have I Ever... made out with Laura Barns
Mitch Roussel
[as the seconds tick away and Adam faces death with the losing fingers]
It was me, Blaire I swear it meant nothing, it was at Adam's and it only lasted for five seconds...
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Adam Sewell
My turn ok Laura... let's make this interesting alright... Never Have I Ever Had sex.
Laura
[types it into the group]
Never Have I Ever Had Sex!
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Laura
[Adam dials the police]
911, please state your emergency.
Adam Sewell
Yeah! Um, there's someone threatening me and my friends online and they also threatened our friend Valerie Rommel, you sent some officers over there earlier to her house but they didn't see what we saw. And there's a lot more to the story, so.
Laura
What is your friend's address?
Adam Sewell
What?
Laura
Her address?
Adam Sewell
Uh guys, guys what's her address?
Jess Felton
Uh... hold on, I have it in my desk hold on.
Adam Sewell
One sec...
Jess Felton
10705 East Bower.
Adam Sewell
Yeah it's 10705 East Bower and he keeps threatening us and he won't leave us alone.
Laura
Where are you right now sir?
Adam Sewell
Um i'm at home, online... with my... with my friends
Laura
Are you safe?
Adam Sewell
Yeah.
Laura
All of you?
Adam Sewell
...Yeah, we're good.
Laura
Even Ken?
Adam Sewell
What?
Laura
Don't... Hang Up.
Adam Sewell
What?
Jess Felton
Wha-What just happened?
Adam Sewell
Shhh, Shhh!
Laura
I said, Don't... Hang Up.
Blaire Lily
Who did you call?
Adam Sewell
Fuck!
[weighs back in chair in frustration]
Adam Sewell
It's this fucking arsewhole!
[Laura's account then rejoins the group convo]
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Blaire Lily
[after IMessaging Mitch about talking with Val tonight and checking her Facebook Inbox from Laura]
Guys have you talked to Val tonight?
Jess Felton
Oh dude, when we were at Adam's she was telling people I have a drinking problem.
Adam Sewell
You do.
Blaire Lily
I'm gonna add her.
Ken Smith
Can I just be honest I don't like Val, I don't like her.
Ken Smith
Except for Val, yeah I know...
[as Jess laughs at him finishing her sentence]
Ken Smith
You just get me Jess.
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Laura
Never Have I Ever... crashed Jess' mom's car.
Blaire Lily
That was me.
Blaire Lily
Blaire Lily, Adam Sewell: See not so perfect and innocent now huh Blaire?
Blaire Lily
Look I have apologized for that which is more then can be said for her.
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Blaire Lily
[after the free lives cam advertisement I closed by her on her desktop]
Okay guys, I am not going to sit her and let her do this, okay Adam was right we cannot listen to her.
Laura
Hands up everyone we're still playing. I've got a question for you JESS.
Blaire Lily
Okay Jess do not answer, okay whatever you do, do not answer.
[Lamp lighting Jess' bedroom is then ushered out causing Jess to scream and flee to her ensuite bathroom with her laptop]
Blaire Lily
Okay Jess! Just hide Jess! Just hide!
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Adam Sewell
What's up?
Adam Sewell
So were you two really cybering?
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Val Rommel
[upon seeing the tagged photos of her on Jess' facebook]
You trashy little bitch delete them.
Jess Felton
Oh wait, did you just call me trashy seriously
[taken aback in laughter]
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Jess Felton
[sarcastically whilst straightening her hair]
Blaire you're a dirty girl, you're going to hell just like the rest of us...
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Laura
Goodbye Jess
[bracketed IM smiley emoticon]
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Jess Felton
Like the drinking game?
Laura
Exactly, except in this version the loser doesn't drink... the loser dies.
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Blaire Lily
What else do you think I did?
[crying as she looks over Laura's final Skype IMS]
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Mitch Roussel
Come on your in real estate, sell this to me.
Blaire Lily
Oh ok, well witness exhibit B, a human's right leg.
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Ken Smith
I thought you wanted to play a game billie, let's play a game.
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Val Rommel
[In response to Ken's statement of her meant to be acquiring the group's tickets]
No, No so I heard you were meant to be buying them and now three of us will get to sit in the balcony and three of us will have to sit in the orchestra.
Blaire Lily
What seats are better, balcony or orchestra?
Val Rommel
Balcony.
Blaire Lily
Balcony!
Val Rommel
Okay so we can take one more in balcony.
Val Rommel
I'm sure you will.
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Jess Felton
[Upon hearing Laura's explained version of Never Have I Ever and whimpering]
I'm going to lose. I don't want to play.
Laura
Would you rather I just killed you now JESS?
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Blaire Lily
For a sec I thought this was real
Mitch Roussel
How do you know it's not?
Blaire Lily
Stop trying to freak me out.
Mitch Roussel
Or what?
Blaire Lily
Or... I'll send my dad to fight you
[winky emoji]
Mitch Roussel
Mitch Roussel, Blaire Lily: Your dad's not home...
Blaire Lily
How do you know?
Mitch Roussel
Cause he's out drinking with mine
[sends link of Laura's facebook memorial page revealing the messenger to Laura]
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Mitch Roussel
[frustratingly whispering to the rest of the group]
Hey we're not doing this shit here, everybody pick up your phones and mute your computers.
Jess Felton
I don't know where my phone is guys please don't do this.
Blaire Lily
Jess it's okay
[mutes mic]
Jess Felton
No wait!
[gets up from bed and walks to desk chair whilst quickly glancing for phone]
Jess Felton
Fuck guys.
Laura
[Via Skype IM]
Nice try guys, let me turn those mics on for you.
[Blaire, Mitch, Adam and Ken's mics then suddenly turn on bringing the audio from their phone calls to the convo]
Laura
.
Jess Felton
Guys, Guys! He can hear you, he can turn your mics on.
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Blaire Lily
[imitating Pazuzu possessed Regan MacNeil as her webcam turns on displaying her wriggling toes]
Mitch! Mitch, I've got something to show you.
Mitch Roussel
Are you doing your demon voice again?
Mitch Roussel
Ooh yeah, let me have a look, love the purple and just the top of the toes.
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Ken Smith
Let's say her karma wasn't completely unwarranted okay, nobody wants to talk about it but Laura fucking sucked, she was a big bully and she deserved all the shit she got from that video.
Blaire Lily
Ken...
Ken Smith
What? I'm sorry that was in poor taste.
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Ken Smith
[as billie227 turns on Blaire, Mitch, Adam and Ken's Skype mics with him whispering into the phone]
Guys can you just fucking trust me, install this software and I'll find out who it is.
Jess Felton
[Being the only one with an already turned on mic witnessing billie227 IM nice try guys let me turn those mics on for you and then switch their mics on]
Guys! Guys, he can hear you, he can turn your mics on.
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Ken Smith
[In response to Val's cruel facebook inbox response to Laura's plea now visible screenshotted on Laura's instagram and the group's response]
Look let's just say her karma wasn't completely unwarranted okay, nobody wants to talk about it, but I'll give you the Kenpinion Laura fucking sucked, she was a big bully and she deserved all the shit she got from that video.
Adam Sewell
[Burying head in living room dining table in laughter induced disbelief and shock]
Ken! Buddy.
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Blaire Lily
[leaning towards the camera preparing to unbutton again]
Get the knife, Get the knife baby.
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[first lines]
Teacher
Laura!... Laura?
[Laura fires upon herself on the high school basketball courts, a female student then screams as the teacher and crowd rush towards Laura's body and Blaire pauses the liveleak video]
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Adam Sewell
[In frustration with Blaire's forwarding attempts for the Val Exposure email from Bill.ie]
Oh my god Blaire do you know how to use a fucking computer? Fucking open it! Just forward this shit on to Ken so we don't have to deal with this anymore, my god.
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Val Rommel
Hey Billie, sweetheart you're a fucking arsewhole, so why don't you take down the photos.
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Laura
[Placing his hand against Matt's face and closing eyes laying down upon steel chair bench]
Shh, I'm going to bed.
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Mitch Roussel
[Enraged and hysterical over Adam's turn of the Never Have I Ever confession into he and Blaire's affairs]
Oh hands up we're still playing! We're still playing here!
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Laura
[Facebook inboxing Blaire after her and Mitch's protests of both their innocence in the upload of the Laura Barns Kill Urself video]
I know you wouldn't do this Blaire... why are you protecting him?
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Ken Smith
[Clicking multiple things on his laptop and standing upright relaying to the others in shock, disbelief and concern as Blaire's jpeg message from Blaire downloads through]
I can't fucking shut it off.
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Ken Smith
[after sending through the Trojan destroyer software in attachment email to Blaire, Mitch, Jess and Adam]
Has everybody downloaded the attachment?
Jess Felton
Wait so what are we doing?
Ken Smith
It's just a game we're all going to download and play.
Laura
[Via Skype IM]
Ken. What are you doing?
Ken Smith
[In false assurity]
Nothing man, I thought you wanted to play a game, I've got a sick game for you man.
Jess Felton
I don't know if I want to do this.
Blaire Lily
Jess listen to me you want to, you want to play the game.
Laura
[Sets pinwheel timer at 1:00]
You have one minute to stop this.
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Jess Felton
[begins to straighten both sides of her hair as Blaire and Mitch return to their respective webcams]
Blaire you're a dirty girl, you're going to hell now... you're going to hell like the rest of us.
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Laura
Never Have I Ever offered to trade Jess' life for my own...
Mitch Roussel
[as the Skype message countdown initiates]
No, none of us would do that.
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Blaire Lily
[beginning to button and unbutton before leaning closely forward to the webcam]
Get the knife... Get the knife baby.
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Mitch Roussel
I just don't see why I can't come over later.
Blaire Lily
You know you can't.
Mitch Roussel
Why?
Blaire Lily
No. My dad would kill you.
Mitch Roussel
Pfft, that's easy I would die for you.
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