Needful Things Movie Quotes
[after Buster drives himself and Gaunt into Gaunt's shop and blows it up, Gaunt emerges from the ruins, completely unscathed]
Leland Gaunt
[stepping through the debris]
Oh... you know, there are days I really hate this job. This is not my best work, not by a long shot. Oh, sure, a few murders and a couple of rather lovely explosions. I would hardly call it a rousing success, but what the hell? I'll be back.
[to Alan]
Leland Gaunt
In the meantime, you and Polly, you are two terrific kids, and you'll marry her. Trust me. She's a lovely girl, Alan. You'll have a wonderful family. Oh, by the way, give my regards to your grandson. Bob will be his name, international trade his game. I'll see him in Jakarta. 2053, August 14th, 10 a.m. A nice, sunny day. We'll make headlines.
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Leland Gaunt
The young carpenter from Nazareth? I know him well. Promising young man. He died badly.
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Buster
I just killed my wife. Is that wrong?
Leland
Hey, these things happen.
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Leland Gaunt
Don't be afraid of it, Hugh. Guns don't kill people. People kill people.
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[Alan is trying to break up an argument between Deputy Norris and Danforth]
Alan
You know, guys, I moved here and I thought, Great! I'm outta the big city and I'm finally in a place where everybody isn't gonna be crawling up everybody's asshole every day! A place where maybe my biggest nightmare is gonna be getting some goddamn cat out of a tree! But forget that! EVERYBODY IS INSANE, EVERYWHERE!
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Leland
Kill them all. Let God sort them out.
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Nettie Cobb
You killed my doggy, you bitch!
Wilma
You broke my microwave, you crazy fuck!
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Leland Gaunt
If it's too hot in here, Mr. Jewett, just say the word. I'm afraid I have a tendency to turn up the heat.
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Leland
You're disgusting, Dan. I like that in a person.
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Leland Gaunt
Oh yes, we're having fun now.
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Leland
I've always enjoyed ladies who take great pride in themselves.
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Alan
Do you believe in the Devil, Father?
Father Meehan
I guess I have to. You can't have one without the other. Do you believe in God, Alan?
Alan
What's he look like?
Father Meehan
Look like?
Alan
Yeah. The Devil. What the hell does he look like?
Father Meehan
Well, he looks like you and me, I imagine.
Alan
So he could get his claws in us without our ever knowing, make us do things that we normally would never do. Terrible things.
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Leland Gaunt
When I started out I was just a peddler moving across the blind face of a distant land. Moving, always moving. Always gone... and in the end I'd always offer weapons. And they'd always take them. Of course I was gone before they realized what they'd purchased.
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Leland Gaunt
SHOOT THEM!
[Alan Pangborn fires his pistol in the air instead]
Leland Gaunt
OH YOU WUSSY!
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Danforth
Everybody that's got it coming is gonna get it now!
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Father Meehan
When I was younger, people got along better.
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Father Meehan
If there's a devil in this town, it's that damned Reverend Willie Rose!
Alan
You believe me now, Father? You still think he's a decent man? The Devil just blew up your damn church!
Father Meehan
That's not the Devil. It's those God-damned Baptists!
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Brian Rusk
No, it's too late for that now. I've got to go. I've got to go to hell.
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Father Meehan
You tell Rose that if he tries to bump us, he'll find out just how hard we mackeral snappers can bump back!
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Gaunt
Don't blame me, blame it on the bossa nova.
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Danforth
You guys sound like a fucking AA meeting. Hi, my name is Danforth Keeton and I've come to blow up your town.
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Deputy Norris Ridgewick
All hell's broken lose around here, the Baptists are running around, 'cause their church is on fire and somebody murdered Myrtle Keeton with a hammer.
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Alan
Nettie didn't throw those apples. Think about it. Would you go over to somebody's house to kill 'em but spend a half an hour breaking all their windows first?
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Brian Rusk
Mickey Mantle SUCKS!
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Wilma
Pete, get me a gobbler from the pen, I feel like turkey tonight.
Pete
You feel like turkey every night, Wilma.
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Gaunt
Come on now, people, you are puppets and he is pulling the strings..
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