Much Ado About Nothing 2012 - Movie Quotes

Dogberry Well , masters good night.

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Dogberry Thou naughty varlet!

Conrade Away! You are an ass! You are an *ass*.

Dogberry Dost thou not suspect my place? Dost thou not suspect my years?

[Conrade escorted away]

Dogberry O that she were here to write me down an ass! But, masters, remember that I am an ass; though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass. No, thou villain, thou art full of piety, as shall be proved upon thee by good witness. I am a wise fellow, and, which is more, an officer, and, which is more, a householder, and, which is more, as pretty a piece of flesh as any is in Messina, and one that knows the law, go to; and a rich fellow enough, go to; and one that hath had losses, and one that hath two gowns and every thing handsome about him. O that I had been writ down an ass!

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Beatrice I beseech your grace, pardon me: I was born to speak all mirth and no matter.

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Leonato Good morrow, Claudio. We here attend you. Are you yet determined today to marry with my brother's daughter?

Claudio I'll hold my mind, were she an Ethiope.

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Beatrice A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours.

Benedick I would my horse had the speed of your tongue, and so good a continuer.

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Beatrice He is a very valiant trencherman; he hath an excellent stomach.

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Benedick It is certain I am loved of all ladies, only you excepted: and I would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard heart; for, truly, I love none.

Beatrice A dear happiness to women.

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Beatrice I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me.

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Benedick Methinks she's too low for a high praise, too brown for a fair praise, too little for a great praise.

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[last lines]

Benedick Play, music! Prince, thou art sad; get thee a wife. Get thee a wife.

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Beatrice Lord, I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face: I had rather lie in the woollen.

Leonato You may light on a husband that hath no beard.

Beatrice What would I do with him? Dress him in my apparel and make him my waiting-gentlewoman? He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man: and he that is more than a youth is not for me, and he that is less than a man, I am not for him.

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Don John Who? Which way looks he?

Borachio Marry, on Hero, the daughter and heir of Leonato.

Don John A very forward March-chick!

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Claudio You seem to me as Diane in her orb, as chaste as is the bud ere it be blown. But you are more intemperate in your blood than Venus! Or, those pampered animals that rage in savage sensuality!

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Don John The lady is disloyal.

Claudio Who, Hero?

Don John Even she; Leonato's Hero, your Hero, every man's Hero.

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Beatrice Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to dinner.

Benedick Fair Beatrice, I thank you for your pains.

Beatrice I took no more pains for those thanks than you take pains to thank me: if it had been painful, I would not have come.

Benedick You take pleasure then in the message?

Beatrice Yea, signior, just so much as you may take upon a knife's point. You have no stomach, signior? Fare you well.

[exits]

Benedick Ha! "Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to dinner." There's a double meaning in that. "I took no more pains for those thanks than you took pains to thank me." That's as much as to say, any pains that I take for you is as good as thanks! If I do not take pity of her, I am a villain. If I do not love her, I am a fool.

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Benedick The world must be peopled. When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married.

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Claudio Behold how like a maid she blushes here! Would you not swear, all you that see her, that she were a maid, by these exterior shows? But she is none! She knows the heat of a luxurious bed! Her blush is guiltiness, not modesty.

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Beatrice Do not swear, and eat it.

Benedick I will swear by it that you love me; and I will make him eat it that says I love not you.

Beatrice Will you not eat your word?

Benedick No sauce that can be devised to it.

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Benedick I do love nothing in the world so well as you. Is not that strange?

Beatrice As strange as the thing I know not. It were as possible for me to say I loved nothing so well as you: but believe me not; and yet I lie not; I confess nothing, nor I deny nothing.

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Beatrice O that I were a man! What, bear her in hand until they come to take hands; and then, with public accusation, uncovered slander, unmitigated rancor. O God, that I were a man! I would eat his heart in the market-place!

Benedick Hear me, Beatrice.

Beatrice Talk with a man out at a window! O, a proper saying!

Benedick Nay, but, Beatrice.

Beatrice Sweet Hero! She is wronged, she is slandered, she is undone.

Benedick Beatrice.

Beatrice Princes and counties, a goodly count. O that I were a man for his sake! Or that I had any friend who would be a man for my sake. But manhood is melted into courtesies, valor into compliment, and men are only turned into tongue, and trim ones too! For he is now as valiant as Hercules who only tells a lie and swears it! I cannot be a man with wishing, therefore I will die a woman grieving.

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Don Pedro Fare thee well, most foul!

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Beatrice I was about to protest I loved you.

Benedick And do it with all thy heart.

Beatrice I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest.

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Beatrice What hath passed between you and Claudio?

Benedick Only foul words; and thereupon I will kiss thee.

Beatrice Foul words is but foul wind, and foul wind is but foul breath, and foul breath is noisome; therefore I will depart unkissed.

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Benedick I pray thee now, tell me for which of my bad parts didst thou first fall in love with me?

Beatrice For them all together; which maintained so politic a state of evil that they will not admit any good part to intermingle with them. But for which of my good parts did you first suffer love for me?

Benedick Suffer love! A good epithet! I do suffer love indeed, for I love thee against my will.

Beatrice In spite of your heart, I think. If you spite it for my sake, I will spite it for yours; for I will never love that which my friend hates.

Benedick Thou and I are too wise to woo peaceably.

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Beatrice Will you go hear this news, signior?

Benedick I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thy eyes; and, moreover, I will go with thee.

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Benedick I cannot show it in rhyme; I have tried: I can find out no rhyme to 'lady' but 'baby,' an innocent rhyme; for 'scorn,' 'horn,' a hard rhyme; for, 'school,' 'fool,' a babbling rhyme; very ominous endings: no, I was not born under a rhyming planet.

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Beatrice By this good day, I yield upon great persuasion; and partly to save your life, for I was told you were in a consumption.

Benedick Peace! I will stop your mouth.

[kiss]

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