An Ideal Husband Movie Quotes
Lord Arthur Goring
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
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Lord Arthur Goring
Gertrude, it is not the perfect, but rather the imperfect who have need of love.
Gertrude
You seem to know a great deal about it all of a sudden.
Lord Arthur Goring
Oh, I hope not. All I know, Gertrude, is that it takes great courage to see the world in all its tainted glory, and still to love it. And even more courage to see it in the one you love. Gertrude, you have more courage than any woman I have ever known. Do not be afraid now to use it.
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Lord Caversham
What are you doing here, sir? Wasting your time, as usual?
Lord Arthur Goring
My dear father, when one pays a visit, it is for the purpose of wasting other people's time and not one's own.
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Mabel
You are very late!
Lord Arthur Goring
Have you missed me?
Mabel
Awfully!
Lord Arthur Goring
Then I am sorry I did not stay away longer. I like being missed.
Mabel
How very selfish of you!
Lord Arthur Goring
I am very selfish.
Mabel
Lord Goring, you are always telling me about your bad qualities.
Lord Arthur Goring
I haven't told you half of them as yet, Miss Mabel.
Mabel
Really? Are the others very bad?
Lord Arthur Goring
Quite dreadful! When I think of them at night, I go to sleep at once.
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Mabel
To look at a thing is quite different from seeing a thing, and one does not see anything until one sees its beauty.
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Lord Arthur Goring
Fashion is what one wears oneself. What is unfashionable is what other people wear. Other people are quite dreadful. The only possible society is oneself.
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Lord Caversham
Married yet?
Lord Arthur Goring
Ask me again in half an hour.
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Mabel
Lord Goring, I gather you're to be congratulated.
Lord Arthur Goring
Well, there's nothing I like more than to be congratulated, though invariably I find the pleasure immeasurably increased when I know what for.
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Gertrude
Yes, Arthur, it is Robert himself who wishes to retire from public life.
Lord Arthur Goring
Rather than risk losing your love, he would do anything. Has he not been punished enough?
Gertrude
We've both been punished. I set him up too high.
Lord Arthur Goring
Do not set him down now too low.
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Lord Arthur Goring
I love you... I love you.
Mabel
Is that your reason then?
Lord Arthur Goring
Mmm. Mabel, I said...
Mabel
I know.
Lord Arthur Goring
Well? Couldn't you you love me just a little bit in return?
Mabel
Arthur, you silly! If you knew anything about anything, which you don't, you would know that I absolutely adore you.
Lord Arthur Goring
Really?
Mabel
Mmm.
Lord Arthur Goring
Well, why didn't you say anything before?
Mabel
Because, dear boy, you never would have believed me.
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Lord Caversham
I don't know how you stand society. A lot of damned nobodies talking about nothing.
Lord Arthur Goring
I love talking about nothing, Father. It's the only thing I know anything about.
Lord Caversham
That is a paradox, sir. I hate paradoxes.
Lord Arthur Goring
So do I, Father. Everyone one meets is a paradox nowadays. It makes society so - obvious.
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Lord Caversham
You are 36.
Lord Arthur Goring
Shh! Father! I only admit to 32.
Lord Caversham
You are 36 and you must get a wife.
Lord Arthur Goring
Wife?
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Lord Arthur Goring
Mrs. Cheveley.
Laura
Call me Laura.
Lord Arthur Goring
I don't like that name.
Laura
You used to adore it.
Lord Arthur Goring
Yes, that is why.
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Lord Caversham
Now, if you don't make her an ideal husband, I'll cut you off with a shilling.
Mabel
An ideal husband? Oh, I don't think I should like that.
Lord Caversham
What do you want him to be then, my dear?
Mabel
I think he can be whatever he chooses.
Lord Caversham
You don't deserve her, sir.
Lord Arthur Goring
My dear father, if we men married the women we deserved... we should have a very bad time of it.
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Countess
Aren't you going to congratulate me?
Lord Arthur Goring
Congratulations.
Countess
Aren't you going to ask what for?
Lord Arthur Goring
What for?
Countess
I've made a great decision. I've decided to get married.
Lord Arthur Goring
My God! Who to?
Countess
That part is yet to be decided.
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Lord Arthur Goring
My dear Mrs. Cheveley, I should make you a very bad husband.
Laura
I don't mind bad husbands. I've had two. They amused me immensely.
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Lord Caversham
Do you always understand everything you say?
Lord Arthur Goring
Yes... if I listen attentively.
Lord Caversham
Conceited young puppy!
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Laura
Wonderful woman, Lady Markby, isn't she? Talks more and says less than anybody I ever met.
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Sir Robert Chiltern
Anyway, what's that saying about the sea and there being plenty of fish in it?
Lord Arthur Goring
Ah, yes, but I couldn't possibly marry a fish. I'd be sure to land an old trout.
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Lord Arthur Goring
[to statue]
It is a great nuisance. I can't find anyone else to talk to. I'm so full of interesting information, I feel like the latest edition of something or other. Well, after some consideration... so much to do, there's only one thing to be done. There comes a time in every son's life when he must, indeed, follow his father's advice: I shall go to bed at once.
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Lord Arthur Goring
Excuse me a moment. I'm in the middle of my performance of the attentive son.
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Sir Robert Chiltern
I will give you any sum of money you want.
Laura
Even you are not rich enough to buy back your past. No man is.
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Sir Robert Chiltern
Do you know, Arthur, I sometimes wish I were you.
Lord Arthur Goring
Do you know, Robert, sometimes I wish you were too. Except that you would probably make something useful out of my life, and that would never do.
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Laura
Do you know, Gertrude, I don't mind your talking morality a bit. Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike. You dislike me, I am quite aware of that, and I have always detested you.
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Sir Robert Chiltern
If you are suggesting, Sir Edward, that my position in society owes anything to my wife, you are utterly mistaken. It owes everything to my wife.
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Tommy Trafford
Miss Mabel, I hope you'll be able to make our usual appointment, as I have something very particular I wish to say to you. Good day, ladies.
Mabel
When Tommy wants to be romantic, he talks to one just like a doctor.
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Lord Arthur Goring
Yes, but the fact is, father, this is not my day for talking seriously.
Lord Caversham
What do you mean, sir?
Lord Arthur Goring
I mean that, during the season, father, I only talk seriously on the first Tuesday in every month. Between noon and three.
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Laura
We were quite well suited, as I recall.
Lord Arthur Goring
Well, you were poor, I was rich, it must have suited you very well. And then you met the Baron, who was even richer. And that suited you better.
Laura
Have you forgiven me yet?
Lord Arthur Goring
My dear woman, it's been so long, I'd all but forgotten you.
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Lord Arthur Goring
I am glad you have called. I am going to give you some advice.
Laura
Oh pray, don't. One should never give a woman something that she can't wear in the evening.
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Gertrude
The truth is, when I agreed to the story about the letter being intended for you and not for Arthur... well, the truth is... the truth is...
[whispers]
Gertrude
I lied.
[everyone laughs]
Gertrude
Oh, I need a drink!
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Lord Arthur Goring
There's somebody I want you to talk to.
Lord Caversham
What about?
Lord Arthur Goring
About me, sir.
Lord Caversham
Not a subject on which much eloquence is possible.
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Gertrude
Oh, Arthur... what a good friend you are to him, to us.
Lord Arthur Goring
Yes, but we're not out of danger yet. In fact, I believe there's a rather popular saying about frying pans and fires, except now it is you and I, dear Gertrude, who are to be roasted.
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Lord Arthur Goring
Shouldn't you be in bed, Miss Mabel?
Mabel
Lord Goring!
Lord Arthur Goring
My father always tells me to go to bed, so I don't see why I shouldn't give you the same advice. I always pass on good advice. It is the only sensible thing to do with it.
Mabel
Well, it's very kind of you to offer, Lord Goring.
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Sir Robert Chiltern
You could always get married.
Lord Arthur Goring
It's the "always" bit that alarms me.
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Laura
An acquaintance that begins with a compliment is sure to develop into a real friendship.
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Gertrude
Lord Goring, you are talking quite seriously.
Lord Arthur Goring
You must forgive me, Lady Chiltern. It won't occur again.
Gertrude
No, I like you to be serious.
[Enter Mabel]
Mabel
Gertrude, please don't say such a dreadful thing to Lord Goring. Seriousness would be very unbecoming to him. Good morning, Lord Goring. Pray be as trivial as you can.
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Laura
I want to talk to you about a great political and financial scheme, about this Argentine Canal Company, in fact.
Sir Robert Chiltern
What a tedious, practical subject for you to talk about Mrs. Cheveley!
Laura
Oh, I like tedious, practical subjects. What I don't like are tedious, practical people.
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Laura
You see, I'm not really quite as wicked as you suppose.
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Gertrude
We have, all of us, feet of clay, Robert. Women as well as men.
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Laura
Then I take it you reject my proposal?
Lord Arthur Goring
I'm afraid I must. For you see, as tempting as it may be, in truth it's little more than blackmail.
Laura
True.
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Laura
A rather charming little idea has come into my head, and now that I consider it, I find it to be a rather charming big idea.
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Laura
As a betting man, you must concede there is a certain thrill to it. Consider also how elegantly I've moved from proposal to proposition.
Lord Arthur Goring
With hardly any loss of face. I'm most impressed, indeed.
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Sir Robert Chiltern
Is it fair that some act of youthful folly should be brought up against me now - all these years later? Is it fair?
Lord Arthur Goring
Robert, life is never fair! Perhaps it's a good thing for most of us that it is not.
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Lady Markby
And you know, I can't help feeling that this disturbing new thing, this higher education of women, will deal a terrible blow to happy married life.
Laura
The higher education of men is what I should like to see. Men need it so sadly.
Lady Markby
They do, dear. But I'm afraid such a scheme would be quite unpractical. I don't think man has much capacity for development. He has got as far as he can, and that is not far, is it?
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Mabel
Do you have anything you wish to say to me, Lord Goring?
Lord Arthur Goring
Um. No. No, I don't think so.
Mabel
Then I don't want to hear it. Good night.
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Mabel
Well, I must tell you that I like your bad qualities and I would not have you part with a single one.
Lord Arthur Goring
It shows your admirable good taste.
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Sir Robert Chiltern
My God! What brought you into my life?
Laura
Circumstances. At some point, we all have to pay for what we do. You have to pay now.
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Gertrude
I thank you for your sympathy, but it is your departure I would prefer.
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Laura
You've got a good man there, Gertrude. You should try to hold on to him.
Gertrude
It occurs to me this whole business is really just about you and me.
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Lord Arthur Goring
I'm sorry, but, I don't seem to be able to stop myself. And I'm going to tell you that love - about which, I admit, I know so little - love cannot be bought, it can only be given. And I sense it is not in my power to give to you, nor is it in yours, I suspect, at all.
Laura
Dear boy, you underestimate us both.
Lord Arthur Goring
To give - and not expect return, that is what lies at the heart of love. I fear, though, the notion is a stranger to us both. And yet, if we are honest, it is something we both long for. Something that it takes great courage to do. Yes, that is our *dark* secret. Your coming here tonight is the first whisper of it. And for that, I admire you.
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Sir Robert Chiltern
Let women make no more ideals of men or they may ruin other lives as completely as you, you whom I have loved so wildly, have surely ruined mine.
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Laura
Goodbye, dear Lady Markby.
Lady Markby
London will be the lesser for your leaving and sadly lacking in scandal.
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Lady Markby
I do hope we see you in the near future, Mrs Cheveley.
Laura
So do I, but I fear, Lady Markby, that for me the future seems strangely uncertain.
Lady Markby
And what of the present?
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Mabel
I remarked that I was shortly to meet Lord Goring, as we had an appointment to visit the new modern art exhibition at the Grosvenor which, quite frankly, apart from two studies in grey by Whistler, was exceedingly forgettable. And that's exactly what Lord Goring proceeded to do. Namely forget it - before he even saw it, for he never appeared, a fact which I find most upsetting on behalf of myself and Mr Whistler. We're both deciding whether or not to forgive him.
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Lord Caversham
What is the matter with this family? There's something wrong here, eh? Idiocy? Hereditary, perhaps. Both of them, too. Very sad. Very sad indeed. They're not an old family. Can't understand it.
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Lord Arthur Goring
Bit of a long day today, I'm afraid. Distressingly little time for sloth or idleness.
Phipps
Sorry to hear it, sir.
Lord Arthur Goring
Well, not entirely your fault, Phipps. Not this time.
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Mabel
Are you coming to the music room?
Lord Arthur Goring
No. Not if there's any music going on, Miss Mabel.
Mabel
Well, the music is in German, so you would not understand it.
Lord Arthur Goring
Quite so. Quite so.
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Lady Markby
Dear ladies, I had better set forth. I haven't time to be idling around here all day. I should be idling somewhere else very shortly or I shall fall behind.
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Laura
And so, my dear Arthur, are you not just a little bit pleased to see me?
Lord Arthur Goring
Oh, my dear woman, possibly even less than that.
Laura
Should you wish to avoid me entirely, I am at Claridge's until Friday, when I shall return to Vienna.
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Lord Arthur Goring
Phipps, a well-made buttonhole is the only link between art and nature.
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Sir Robert
One mustn't believe everything one reads in the newspapers.
Gertrude
Yes, in the old days we had the rack. Nowadays we have the press. Your own newspaper being the notable exception, Sir Edward. Where truth shines out like a beacon and lies run vainly for the shadows.
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Laura
Are you still a bachelor?
Lord Arthur Goring
Resolutely so.
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Sir Robert Chiltern
Did you know the Baron well?
Laura
Intimately. Did you?
Sir Robert Chiltern
At one time.
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Sir Robert Chiltern
This Argentine scheme is a commonplace Stock Exchange swindle.
Laura
It is a speculation. A brilliant, daring speculation.
Sir Robert Chiltern
Believe me, Mrs Cheveley, it is a swindle. Let us call things by their proper names. It makes matters simpler.
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Laura
Suppose I were to pay a visit to a newspaper office and give them this scandal and the proof of it. Think of their loathsome joy. Think of the delight they would have in tearing you down.
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Sir Robert Chiltern
Allow me to introduce my dearest friend, the idlest man in London.
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Sir Robert Chiltern
It is infamous, what you propose. Infamous!
Laura
Oh, no. It is the game of life, Sir Robert, as we all have to play it - sooner or later.
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Laura
You are a man of the world and you have your price, I suppose. Everybody has nowadays.
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Sir Robert Chiltern
I wonder what kind of a woman she is.
Lord Arthur Goring
Who?
Sir Robert Chiltern
That woman - Mrs Cheveley.
Lord Arthur Goring
Smallish.
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Mabel
I could see by the glare in his eye he was about to do it again!
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Laura
Scandals used to lend charm or, at least, interest to a man. Nowadays they crush him. Yours is a very nasty scandal, Sir Robert. You would be hounded out of public life. You would disappear completely.
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Gertrude
Robert, you are telling me the whole truth?
Sir Robert Chiltern
Why do you ask me such a question?
Gertrude
Why do you not answer it?
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Lord Arthur Goring
I'm afraid I really must go. I have an extremely pressing engagement.
Laura
Really? Well, as you know, I hate to stand between a man and his affairs.
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Lord Arthur Goring
I see you are quite as willful as you used to be.
Laura
Far more! I've greatly improved. I've had more experience.
Lord Arthur Goring
Too much experience can be a very dangerous thing.
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Gertrude
[to her husband]
All your life, you have stood apart from others. To the world, as to myself, you have been an ideal, always. Be that ideal still.
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Lord Arthur Goring
By the way, have you been talking to my father?
Sir Robert Chiltern
Why? Should I?
Lord Arthur Goring
Certainly not. He was foolish enough to suggest that I model myself on you.
Sir Robert Chiltern
I have always said he was a man of exquisite taste and rare judgment.
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Lord Arthur Goring
I'm only talking in the most general terms on a subject about which I know absolutely nothing.
Gertrude
I thought those were your favorite subjects, Arthur.
Lord Arthur Goring
Yes, indeed. Indeed.
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Lord Arthur Goring
Once a man has set his heart and soul on getting to a certain point, if he has to climb the crag, he has to climb the crag. If he has to walk in the mire...
Gertrude
Well?
Lord Arthur Goring
Well, then, he has to walk, my dear Gertrude, in the mire.
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Baron Arnheim
I think it's time you knew the truth. That all these riches, this wondrous luxury - amounts, finally, to nothing. That power - power over other men - is the one and only thing worth having.
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Baron Arnheim
The answer - is information. Information is the modern commodity that can shake the world.
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Lord Arthur Goring
My dear Robert, secrets from other people's wives are a necessary luxury in modern life. But no man should have a secret from his own wife. She invariably finds it out.
Sir Robert Chiltern
If I were to tell her, Arthur, I would lose the love of the one woman in the world I worship. I couldn't tell her.
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Mabel
Lord Goring, what dreadful manners you have, leaving just as I arrive. I'm sure you were badly brought up.
Lord Arthur Goring
Mm, I was.
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Lady Markby
With regard to women, well, dear Gertrude, modern women understand everything, I'm told.
Laura
Except their husbands. That is the one thing the modern woman never understands.
Lady Markby
And a very good thing too, dear, I dare say. It might break up many a happy home if they did. Not yours, I need hardly say, Gertrude. You have married the perfect husband.
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Gertrude
I'm sorry, Mabel, I'm not in the mood for modern art. You don't mind, do you, if Arthur escorts you in my place?
Mabel
As long as he promises not to be too serious. For I have observed a worrying trend.
Sir Robert Chiltern
I swear on my life to be utterly trivial and never to keep my word.
Mabel
In which case I shall be delighted.
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Gertrude
You were to me - something apart from common life. A thing noble, pure. The world seemed to me finer because you were in it - and goodness more real because you lived.
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Lord Arthur Goring
What is your price for it?
Laura
My price. I've arrived at the romantic stage.
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Lord Caversham
Marriage is not a matter of affection, sir, it is a question of common sense.
Lord Arthur Goring
Yes. But women who have common sense are always so curiously plain, aren't they, father? Of course, I'm only speaking from hearsay.
Lord Caversham
No woman, plain or pretty, has any common sense at all, sir. Common sense is a privilege of our sex.
Lord Arthur Goring
Quite so.
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Sir Edward
I do hope we have the opportunity to meet up while you're in London. I so enjoy the cut and thrust of continental politics.
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Laura
I appear to have caused something of a commotion.
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Gertrude
You know Laura, I can't help thinking that all this is about you and I
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Lord Arthur Goring
The fact is your assumptions are presumptuous.
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Mabel
It certainly didn't look that way.
Lord Arthur Goring
There's a great deal of difference between looking and seeing, isn't there, Miss Mabel?
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Lord Arthur Goring
Surely there must be some sin in her past life, any sin, weakness, perhaps, that might, well, help her to understand yours.
Sir Robert Chiltern
No, I don't believe Gertrude knows what weakness or temptation is.
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Laura
For the privilege of being your wife, I am ready to sacrifice the greatest prize in my possession.
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Laura
We are creatures of compromise, you and I.
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Mabel
He proposed to me in broad daylight in front of that dreadful statue of Achilles. Oh, really the things that go on in front of that work of art are quite appalling. The police should interfere!
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