ThadeousI shouldn't even be here! I will probably die on this quest, Courtney definitely will!
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IsabelThat feeling is all too familiar. It's been burning in my beaver since the day I lost my brothers.
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Great Wize WizardThis cricket compass will catch the light and point the way to the labyrinths location. Be warned: they say the walls of this maze drive men to madness. But if you can find your way, the blade will be yours.
Great Wize WizardNot so fast. First you must answer a riddle. What journey be long and twisted and sensitive at hand? To what end must man go to discover the depths of his ecstasy? Think hard strong warriors.
ThadeousMy path has been unstable, but my conviction is born to damn the fuckers who doubted me. To lessen the assholes who tested me. To right what is wrong, to restore faith that has long been lost, and to rise to great heights even beyond my own legend as a Great Cocksmith, Master Pintsman, and stunningly handsome Prince of Light in these dark Dark Ages!
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Thadeous[while moving Stephen off the bed]Stephen, I'm going to put you in the corner *now* while I strum my filthies.
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[from trailer]
[the brothers get high]
Fabious[holding his head]Thadeous, are you seeing what I'm seeing?
Thadeous[calmly]You making a fool of yourself. Handle your shit, Fabious, please.
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FabiousMaybe they're right, everything they say about you.
ThadeousThey only say that stuff because of you, because you go out and have to pretend to be the best, and they look at me like I'm some sort of idiot. Everyone in the kingdom wants to suck your dick, no one wants to suck mine!
Fabious[catches Thadeous watching Isabel as she gets undressed to go for a swim in the pond]What you doing, brother?
ThadeousWhat right do you have scaring a man like that?
FabiousWhat right have you to spy on a bathing woman from these shrubs?
ThadeousI'm simply keeping an eye on her. She is not like one of our dimwitted chamber maids that let me take them from behind. This one has me vexed. What exactly would it take for one to tame such an adventurous slut?
FabiousWell, I imagine she'd want a man to be honorable, bold, brave. Know his way round a blade.
[Isabel looks over her shoulder straight towards Fabious and Thadeous]
ThadeousOh, God! She's looking at us! Remain perfectly still.
[Fabious and Thadeous freeze in their positions. Isabel ignores them, dives into the water and swims]
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ThadeousOnly a champion man would hold the Blade of Unicorn in his hands. And I, Thadeous, am that man. I have seen the pain in my reflection and watched the strength of my brother, unflinching. My quest is one of love, but also in this moment of forgiveness, of redemption, even amongst the smallest of foes. My path has been unstable, but my conviction is born to damn those who doubted me. To lessen those who tested me. To right what is wrong. To restore faith that has long been lost. And to rise to great heights even beyond my own legend in these dark, Dark Ages. True trials await, and I will greet thee with the hammer of my fist and the slide of my sword. As the fog clears, I will follow the voice that guides me: My love, my heart, my Gods!