Marvin Boggs
I never thought I'd say this again. *I am getting the pig*!
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Businesswoman
That's right, old man!
Marvin Boggs
Old man?
Frank Moses
No respect.
Marvin Boggs
Can I kill her now?
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Victoria
You know, I was in love with an agent once.
Sarah Ross
What happened?
Victoria
Well, I was with MI6. And the relationship wasn't... sanctioned. So when it came to light, my loyalty was questioned. And I was ordered to kill him. It was a test.
Sarah Ross
What did you do?
Victoria
I put three bullets in his chest.
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Ivan Simanov
Still... I owe you... for killing Igor.
Frank Moses
Igor the Butcher.
Ivan Simanov
He was a great asset.
Frank Moses
He was a pig.
Ivan Simanov
He was my cousin.
Frank Moses
I'm sorry.
[clinks glasses with Frank]
Ivan Simanov
The Butcher.
[Ivan chokes on his vodka]
Frank Moses
I flipped him.
Ivan Simanov
...No.
Frank Moses
He owns a string of 7-11s in Orange County.
Ivan Simanov
What?
Frank Moses
He weighs 500 pounds.
[They laugh hysterically]
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Marvin Boggs
Yeah. Wanna get pancakes?
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Frank Moses
Well, he thought he was the subject of a secret government mind control project.
Sarah Ross
Sure.
Frank Moses
As it turns out... he really was being given daily doses of LSD for 11 years.
Sarah Ross
Well, in that case, he looks great.
Frank Moses
Fantastic.
Sarah Ross
Yeah...
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Sarah Ross
Get back. Go away. Stay away from me! Is that my bag?
Frank Moses
Yeah.
Sarah Ross
You-You packed it?
Frank Moses
Yes.
Frank Moses
A little yeah, it was messy.
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Ivan Simanov
[shows Frank his bullet wounds]
This was done to me by the love of my life. It seems that what we had was not meant to be. But now she sits outside my house drinking vodka. Three bullets in the chest. When I woke alive, I knew she still loved me. Or else it would have been head. It was big risk for her, of course, but one does crazy things for love.
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Marvin Boggs
Do you know what's wrong with this country?
Sarah Ross
They're all trying to kill us?
Marvin Boggs
Exactly!
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Marvin Boggs
I remember the Secret Service being tougher.
Victoria
Me, too.
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[Marvin unzips the pig and Frank pulls out a grenade launcher]
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Marvin Boggs
Why are you trying to kill me?
Frank Moses
I'm not trying to kill you!
Marvin Boggs
Oh, yeah. You are.
Frank Moses
Why would I be trying to kill you?
Marvin Boggs
Because the last time we met, I tried to kill you.
Frank Moses
That was a long time ago.
Marvin Boggs
Some people hold on to things like that.
Frank Moses
I'm not trying to kill you. Okay? So that makes us friends. Right?
Marvin Boggs
Right.
Frank Moses
Good. You wanna take that knife out of my balls now?
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Marvin Boggs
Home Depot.
Frank Moses
How much?
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Sarah Ross
Where are we? How did we get to New York City? Wow. I really hate you right now.
Frank Moses
I was just hoping you'd be a little more understanding of the situation.
Sarah Ross
I-I was hoping not to get kidnapped. Or drugged. I was hoping you'd have hair. So it looks like none of our dreams are coming true, at the moment.
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Henry, The Records Keeper
Frank Moses was one of the most effective black op agents we've ever had. He retired drug-lords, terrorists. Hell, he toppled governments. Yeah. He was truly gifted.
William Cooper
Why was he retired?
Henry, The Records Keeper
He got old. Then some thumb-sucker came along and tagged him "RED."
William Cooper
Red?
Henry, The Records Keeper
Yeah. RED. R-E-D, "Retired: Extremely Dangerous."
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Frank Moses
That's sad.
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Cynthia Wilkes
You just had your ass handed to you by a goddamned retiree.
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Sarah Ross
What do you suppose the-the punishment is for what we're doing here?
Frank Moses
Death... Maybe life in prison.
Sarah Ross
Awesome.
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[last lines]
[Frank and Marvin are being chased by the Moldovan Ground Forces with Marvin wearing a dress and sitting in a wheelbarrow that is being pushed by Frank]
Marvin Boggs
I told you something bad was gonna happen.
Marvin Boggs
Moldova sucks.
Marvin Boggs
Next time, your girlfriend can wear the dress.
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Joe Matheson
Sarah, this is Victoria. Best wet work asset in the business. And a true artist with an RPN.
Sarah Ross
What? What's that?
Victoria
I kill people, dear.
[smiles, then shrugs]
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Frank Moses
Watch your back, too.
Joe Matheson
I'm 80 years old. I got stage 4 liver cancer. What the hell can they do to me?
Frank Moses
They can still shoot you.
Joe Matheson
Well... I never thought this would happen to me.
Frank Moses
What?
Joe Matheson
Getting old. Well I mean... Vietnam, Afghanistan... Green Spring Rest Home?
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William Cooper
Fuck you, Cynthia.
[turns his gun on her and kills her]
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Sarah Ross
[while Victoria is providing cover with a sniper rifle]
Frank said you wanted me with you.
Victoria
Yes, I thought it might be nice to have a bit of girl time together. You know, get to know each other. And I-I just wanted to tell you that in all the years I've known Francis... I've never seen him like this.
[Sarah smiles]
Victoria
So if you break his heart, I will kill you. And bury your body in the woods.
Sarah Ross
Wow... Okay.
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William Cooper
Bad move, Grandpa.
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Victoria
Oh, Francis, you're such a romantic.
Frank Moses
What?
Victoria
A romantic. It's why I've always been so fond of you.
Frank Moses
Victoria...
Victoria
You're all hard on the outside, but you are... you are gooey on the inside... gooey.
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Frank Moses
People get shot all the time.
Sarah Ross
No, they don't. They get... paper cuts.
Marvin Boggs
I mostly get shot.
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Alexander Dunning
Are you gonna let me talk to them? I can negotiate something.
Marvin Boggs
Thanks, when we want your help, we'll get out the drain cleaner.
Alexander Dunning
Listen, Plastic Man, those bastards out there probably have orders to kill me, too.
Joe Matheson
I hope so.
Alexander Dunning
Why? 'Cause I'm the bad guy? I'm scum?
Marvin Boggs
Can I just shoot him now?
Alexander Dunning
No. You don't have people killed. I have people killed, I'm the bad guy. Remember?
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Frank Moses
How'd you do it?
Victoria
What?
Frank Moses
How'd you make the transition? Here you seem so calm. At ease.
Victoria
I love it. I love it here. I love the baking. I love the flower arranging. I like... I like the routine.
[Frank gives her a look]
Victoria
Well, I... I do get a bit restless sometimes.
Frank Moses
Mm-hmm.
Victoria
I take the odd contract on the side. I-I just can't stop.
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William Cooper
How's retirement, Frank?
Frank Moses
It's been a real blast.
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Sarah Ross
The General has dropped his contact lens. Perhaps you'd like to help us?
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Henry, The Records Keeper
It doesn't.
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Ivan Simanov
[to Moses - riding in the car after everything is over]
You still owe me a small favor.
[turns to the others]
Victoria
His timing is terrible.
Ivan Simanov
Just a tiny little nuclear problem in Moldova.
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Marvin Boggs
Frank, we gotta get rid of this broad. I know a great place, just up the road. Lots of alligators.
Frank Moses
We're not getting rid of the broad. I like her. Okay?
Marvin Boggs
Well, wait? What's the angle?
Frank Moses
No angle. I like her.
Marvin Boggs
Ok. So... they pull her voice from the pay phone, probably right now, install the recognition software and backtrace it to Singer. So, then we show up, they bring out the satellite, and we're fried with Y-rays.
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[Frank calls Cooper on the phone; Cooper is told to stall him while the call is traced]
Frank Moses
Here's the thing, Cooper. With age... comes a certain perspective. I'd be a liar if I said there wasn't a time when I was exactly like you. Blind ambition. Misplaced trust.
William Cooper
Why are you telling me this?
Frank Moses
It may help me to decide what to do next.
Interrogation Surveillance Tech
[technician tracing the call whispering to Cooper]
Just keep it going.
William Cooper
Why? What are you thinking about?
Frank Moses
Our business is a very hard one. But it was never the, uh... the killing or the stress, the bad pay that bothered me.
William Cooper
Well, what was it, Frank?
Frank Moses
It's how anything that you love... can be taken away from you. It taught me never to care. Never to invest. Then I met this woman. Sarah. And now you have her. Now I can't think of anything more horrible than to know that your enemies can hurt someone you love. The feeling is almost indescribable.
[the trace completes, and the technician hands Cooper a printout]
Frank Moses
You still there, Cooper?
[Frank looks out the window into the yard where Cooper's wife and two children, unaware, are playing]
Frank Moses
Almost indescribable, isn't it?
Frank Moses
If anything happens to Sarah, I will rip everything you love out of your life. And then I'll kill you.
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Joe Matheson
This used to be a gentleman's game.
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Victoria
Tell Marvin to stand down before he gets hurt.
[steps away from the window, revealing Marvin's head and a sniper rifle peering in from a bush outside]
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Sarah Ross
I did.
Sarah Ross
And? What's it called?
Sarah Ross
Uh, it's called "Love's Savage Secret".
Frank Moses
Nice. Is it any good?
Sarah Ross
It's terrible. I love it. It's awful.
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Hanged Man
[perched on a chair with a noose around his neck]
Listen. I can make you rich. Don't you know who I am?
William Cooper
Of course, I do.
[kicks the chair away]
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Frank Moses
No. You just need some sleep.
Sarah Ross
I may vomit.
[speeding away]
Sarah Ross
Wow, this is just like "Love's Savage Secret". I am high. You have such beautiful green eyes...
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Ivan Simanov
Your radiance tonight renders me almost speechless.
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[first lines]
Frank Moses
[on the phone] 943-66-2291. Pension Services, please.
Woman
Thank you, Mr. Moses, please hold for your representative.
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Marvin Boggs
Frank, how many times have I told you? You cannot trust the system! I told you when you're in the system, they switch the flip and you're done. Man, satellites, cell phones, chips, net, the web, the dentist.
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Henry, The Records Keeper
Oh, I should tell you, there's a new guy came down here yesterday looking for your file. Name of, um, William Cooper?
Frank Moses
Six one? Cute hair?
Henry, The Records Keeper
Hair was cute.
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Gabriel Singer
I got one for you. What did this twice-decorated, West Texas Jew-boy Marine pilot say to the Chinese New York Times reporter?
Frank Moses
I give up.
Gabriel Singer
Nothing. I didn't tell her a damn thing.
Frank Moses
The reporter's dead now. And everyone she spoke to is either dead or a target. That includes you.
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Frank Moses
[after business woman just misses with an RPG and Marvin walks back out from behind the shipping container]
What are you doing?
Marvin Boggs
[waits for her to reload and fire, then shoots it in mid-air and it blows her up]
Old man, my ass.
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Ivan Simanov
But, I think you are not here for the vodka.
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Victoria
Dunning is the CEO of Browning-Orvis.
Marvin Boggs
Gangsters.
Frank Moses
Defense contractor. Very connected.
Joe Matheson
You know, if the CIA is protecting him, he's under surveillance.
Frank Moses
We could go see him.
Victoria
You're not going without me.
Joe Matheson
Well, we're getting the band back together. That's nice.
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Frank Moses
Who are we drinking to now?
Ivan Simanov
Veronique. She... was mine.
Frank Moses
Impossible.
[they clink glasses]
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Frank Moses
Don't get me wrong, I know it's crazy. Don't think that, I don't think that this crazy. And it couldn't be more different than how I'd hoped to meet you for the first time.
[the camera pans to the rear-view mirror which reveals that Frank has had to gag Sarah by duct taping her mouth shut, as while he may like her, her protests are preventing him from helping her]
Frank Moses
But you know sometimes things happen. And I just hope that one day, you and I will be sitting somewhere comfortably and look back on this as the great big adventure that it is.
[still furious, Sarah rants and raves but her shouting at Frank is muffled by her gag]
Frank Moses
I'm a little hungry too, what should we get?
Sarah Ross
[Sarah calms down after her rant and while she remains gagged in the back of the car, she accepts her current situation and lets out a muffled but comprehensible response]
Pizza.
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Sarah Ross
[Frank and Sarah arrive at the motel. Once Frank has finished tying Sarah to the bed, he removes the duct tape from her mouth]
If you, if you let me go now, I won't press charges, there's no hard feelings
Frank Moses
What claim?
Sarah Ross
How do I always attract losers like you?
Frank Moses
I was in the CIA
Sarah Ross
Yeah, I bet you were. I bet you're a spy
Frank Moses
I have to go and see someone now
Sarah Ross
You're just gonna make me sit here? What, this...
Frank Moses
You couldn't be safer, no-one knows where you are
[Frank grabs a roll of duct tape and tears a strip off]
Sarah Ross
Oh no! You don't, don't do it, you don't! Please, I-I, I don't want it
Frank Moses
Just stay still, sorry
[Sarah squirms for a while before sitting still and allowing Frank to duct tape her mouth shut and gag her again]
Frank Moses
Your eyes are so beautiful
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Victoria
Ivan?
Ivan Simanov
Zaychik moy.
Victoria
It's nice to see you again, Ivan.
Frank Moses
Did he just call you "bunny"?
Victoria
Life sometimes is complicated.
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Gabriel Singer
[when a helicopter hovers outside the window, Marvin insists that he recognizes it. As he and Frank argue over the tail numbers, Gabriel impatiently goes to the window]
I'll tell you what that is...
[a bullet hits him in the chest, more follow, and Frank and Marvin dive to the floor, Frank pulling Sarah down with him]
Marvin Boggs
I told you she shouldn't have made that phone call!
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Ivan Simanov
I know.
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Frank Moses
We don't have much time. Do you understand that?
William Cooper
What are you gonna do, Frank?
Frank Moses
I'm gonna kill the Vice President. What are you gonna do?
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Joe Matheson
Not dead. Just retired.
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Sarah Ross
Thanks for saving me. I guess.
Frank Moses
No problem.
Sarah Ross
Not my best first date. Not my worst, either.
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Marvin Boggs
Come on, I'll show you the house.
Marvin Boggs
Decoy.
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Sarah Ross
You can't just go around duct taping everyone. People are basically kind of decent.
Frank Moses
That hasn't always been my experience.
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Frank Moses
We have to find Marvin Boggs.
Sarah Ross
Marvin died two years ago in a fire.
Frank Moses
Yeah. Marvin has died many times.
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Marvin Boggs
She likes you.
Frank Moses
How can you tell?
Marvin Boggs
Notice how she sticks around? 'Cause if women don't like you, they don't stick around.
Frank Moses
She doesn't have much of a choice. Does she?
Marvin Boggs
Sure she does.
Frank Moses
Really? You think so?
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Gabriel Singer
They had me fly this guy out there in the dead of night. Hairy little airstrip in the middle of nowhere. He was CIA, some dorky little spook in a suit and tie.
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Marvin Boggs
I don't think I can go, Frank. The last time they put some electrical wires in some not very nice places.
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Sarah Ross
Wow. You really are CIA.
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