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Carl Fredricksen This is crazy. I finally meet my childhood hero and he's trying to kill us. What a joke.
Dug Hey, I know a joke! A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
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Russell That might sound boring, but I think the boring stuff is the stuff I remember the most.
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Carl Fredricksen Hey, let's play a game. It's called "See Who Can Be Quiet the Longest".
Russell Cool! My mom loves that game!
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[Carl, in his once-again airborne house, suddenly hears a knock at the front door]
Carl Fredricksen [Surprised] Russell?
[opens the door to find Dug on his doorstep and is very happy]
Carl Fredricksen [Smiles] Dug!
Dug [Looking sad] I was hiding under your porch because I love you. Can I stay?
Carl Fredricksen [Delightfully] Can you stay? Why, you're my dog, aren't you? And I'm your master!
Dug [His sadness turns to happiness. As he happily wags his tail] You are my master? Oh, boy! Oh, boy!
[lunges forward and covers Carl in slobbery kisses]
Carl Fredricksen [laughing] Good boy, Dug. You're a good boy.
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Young Ellie [to Carl] You don't talk much... I like you!
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Young Ellie [Ellie opens her Adventure Book to reveal to Carl a "Life" magazine with Charles Muntz on the cover] You know him.
[Carl gasps]
Young Ellie Charles Muntz, explorer. When I get big, I'm going where he's going,
[pulls away the magazine to reveal a map of...]
Young Ellie South America. It's like America, but south.
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Russell [reading from his scout handbook in monotone] Good afternoon. My name is Russell, and I am a Wilderness Explorer in Tribe 54, Sweatlodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?
Russell I could help you cross the street.
Russell I could help you cross your yard.
Russell I could help you cross your... porch?
Russell Well, I gotta help you cross *something*!
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Construction Foreman Tom This is serious. He's out to get your house!
Carl Fredricksen Tell your boss he can *have* our house.
Carl Fredricksen When I'm dead!
[goes inside and slams the front door]
Construction Foreman Tom I'll take that as a maybe!
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Russell [Whining] I'm tired! My knee hurts!
Carl Fredricksen Which knee?
Russell ...My elbow hurts!
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Alpha Alpha, Beta, Gamma: Not you, what do we do with Dug? He has lost the bird, put him in the cone of shame.
[Dug whimpers]
Dug [wearing a cone around his head in the next scene, and hangs his head sadly] I do not like the cone of shame.
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Russell [Carl and Russell find Dug in a South American desert; Russel pets him] Hey, I like dogs!
Carl Fredricksen [calling out] We have your dog!
Russell [Dug walks around Russell] Whoa.
Carl Fredricksen I wonder who he belongs to?
Russell Sit, boy.
[Dug sits]
Russell Hey look, he's trained! Shake.
[Dug shakes his paw]
Russell Uh-huh. Speak.
Dug Hi there.
Carl Fredricksen [He and Russell make surprised exclamations] Did that dog just say "Hi there"?
Dug Oh, yes.
Dug My name is Dug. I have just met you, and I love you.
[he jumps up on Carl]
Dug My master made me this collar. He is a good and smart master and he made me this collar so that I may speak. Squirrel!
[looks to distance for a few seconds]
Dug My master is good and smart.
Carl Fredricksen It's not possible!
Dug Oh, it is because my master is smart!
Russell Cool! What do these do, boy?
Russell [Russell starts to fiddle with a dial on Dug's collar, causing him to cycle through languages and different voices] Hey would you - cuerdo con tigo - I use that collar - watashi wa hanashi ma - to talk with. I would be happy if you stop.
Carl Fredricksen Russell, don't touch that. It could be... radioactive or something.
Dug I am a great tracker. My pack sent me on a special mission, all by myself. Have you seen a bird? I am going to find one, and I am on the scent. I am a great tracker; did I mention that?
[Dug is suddenly attacked by Kevin, who shrieks in Dug's face after pinning him to the ground]
Dug Hey, that is the bird! I have never seen one up close, but this is the bird. May I take your bird back to camp as my prisoner?
Carl Fredricksen Yes, yes, take it! And on the way, learn how to bark like a real dog!
Dug Oh, I can bark.
[barks]
Dug And this is howling.
[howls]
Russell [Kevin screeches] Can we keep him? Please, please, please?
Russell But it's a TALKING DOG!
Carl Fredricksen It's just a weird trick or something. Let's get to the falls.
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Russell A wilderness explorer is a friend to all, be a plant or fish or tiny mole!
Carl Fredricksen That doesn't even rhyme!
Russell [offended] Yeah it does.
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Carl Fredricksen [after his house hits a cliff and shatters a window] I am nobody's master, got it? I don't want you here
[points his cane at Dug]
Carl Fredricksen and I don't want you here!
[points it at Kevin]
Carl Fredricksen [addressing Russell] I'm stuck with you, but if you two don't clear out of here by the time I count to three...
Dug Oh! A ball! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! A ball!
[whines]
[chuckles]
Carl Fredricksen You want it, boy?
Dug Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Carl Fredricksen Huh? Huh?
Dug Yes, I do! I so ever do want the ball!
Carl Fredricksen Go get it!
[throws the ball]
Dug Oh, boy! Oh, boy! I will go get it and then bring it back!
[runs off]
Carl Fredricksen Russell, give me some chocolate.
[grabs a piece of chocolate from Russell and throws it into the bushes, leaving Kevin to run off after it]
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Dug [to the bird Kevin] Won't you please be my prisoner, please, please, please!
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[Carl, with his house high in the air, hears a knock at the door and finds Russell on the front porch]
Russell Hi, Mr. Fredricksen! It's me, Russell!
Carl Fredricksen What are you doing out here, kid?
Russell I found the snipe and I followed it under your porch, but this snipe had a long tail and looked more like a large mouse.
[Russell's Wilderness Explorers flag blows away in the wind]
Russell Please let me in.
[Carl goes inside and slams the door. Russell waits uncertainly a few moments]
Carl Fredricksen [opens the door] Oh, all right. You can come...
[Russell races past Carl into the house]
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Russell [points to Kevin] I found the snipe!
Carl Fredricksen [amused] Oh, did you now?
[chuckles]
Russell Are they tall?
Carl Fredricksen Oh, yes. They're very tall.
Russell Do they have a lot of colors?
Carl Fredricksen They do, indeed!
Russell Do they like chocolate?
Carl Fredricksen Ye... chocolate?
[he turns around and sees Kevin]
Carl Fredricksen Gaah! What is that thing?
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[Carl just saved Russell, tied to a chair, from falling to his death off Muntz' Airship, and leaves him on the porch]
Russell But I want to help!
Carl Fredricksen I don't want your help, I want you safe.
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Russell [off screen in the jungle] Mr. Fredricksen? Am I supposed to dig the hole before or after?
Carl Fredricksen Nyaa! None of my concern!
Russell [after a pause] Oh... It's before!
[covers his ears and shakes his head]
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Charles Muntz Adventure is out there!
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Dug [With Kevin up on the roof of Carl's house, calling out] The Bird is calling to her babies.
Russell Her babies! Kevin's a Girl?
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Carl Fredricksen [to Kevin] Get off my roof!
Dug Yeah! Get off of his...
[barks]
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Beta Chocolate, I smell chocolate!
Gamma I'm getting prunes and denture cream! Who are they?
Beta Oh, man, Master will not be pleased. We better tell him someone took the bird. Right, Alpha?
Alpha [in a squeaky voice] No. Soon enough the bird will be ours yet again. Find the scent, my compadres, and you too shall have much rewardings from Master for the toil factor you wage.
Beta Hey, Alpha, I think there's something wrong with your collar. You must have bumped it.
Gamma Yeah, your voice sounds funny!
[they both laugh]
Alpha Beta! Gamma!
[they both stop laughing]
Alpha Mayhaps you desire to - SQUIRREL!
[All of them turn their attention to a nearby tree; slight pause, Gamma whimpers]
Alpha Mayhaps you desire to challenge the ranking that I have been asigned by my strength and cunning...
Beta No, no, no. But maybe Dug would. You might wanna ask him.
Gamma Yeah. I wonder if he's found the bird on his very special mission.
Alpha Do not mention Dug to me at this time. His fool's errand will keep him most occupied. Most occupied, indeed. Ha ha ha! Do you not agree with that which I am saying to you now?
Beta Sure, but the second Master finds out you sent Dug out by himself, none of us will get a treat.
[He and Gamma whine]
Alpha [lunges and growls at them] You are wise, my trusted lieutenant.
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Charles Muntz You know, Carl... these people who pass through here, they all tell pretty good stories.
[Muntz walks to a row of human skulls on a shelf, each wearing a flight helmet]
Charles Muntz A "surveyor" making a map.
[knocks over the first skull with his cane]
Charles Muntz A "botanist" cataloguing plants.
[knocks over the second skull]
Charles Muntz An old man taking his house to Paradise Falls.
[lifts and drops the third skull, which rolls across the floor and stops at Carl's feet]
Charles Muntz That's the best one yet. I can't wait to hear how it ends.
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Carl Fredricksen You'd better get up, Russell. Or else, the tigers will come and eat you.
Russell There are no Tigers in South America. Zoology.
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Carl Fredricksen I can't tell where we are.
Russell Oh, we're in South America, all right. It was a cinch with my Wilderness Explorer GPS.
Carl Fredricksen GP what?
Russell My dad gave it to me; it shows exactly where we are on the planet!
[runs to window making beeping sounds]
Russell With this baby, we'll never be lost!
[gestures and accidentally throws the unit out the window]
Russell Oops.
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Dog [to Carl and Russell after Muntz accepts them] I like you temporarily!
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Carl Fredricksen [after throwing both a ball and chocolate into the jungle to get rid of Dug and Kevin, Carl runs with his house for a considerable distance] There. We should've gone enough. We should be rid of them now.
[looks to his left and sees Dug]
Dug [with the ball in his mouth] Hi, Master.
[Carl turns to his right and Kevin squawks in his ear]
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Alpha Why do I not have the surprised feeling?
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Dug I will stop the dogs!
[jumps in front of a pack of dogs]
Dug Stop, you dogs!
[Pack of dogs runs past Dug. Alpha grabs Dug by the neck and throws him out of the way, which breaks the cone around his head]
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Alpha [Through a communicator on Beta's collar] This is Alpha calling Dug. Come in, Dug.
Dug Hi Alpha. Hey, your voice sounds funny.
Alpha I know, I know! Have you seen the bird?
Dug Why, yes. The bird is my prisoner now.
Gamma Yeah, right!
[Kevin hisses at the screen]
Alpha Impossible! Where are you?
Dug I am here with the bird, and I will bring it back, and then you will like me. Oh, gotta go.
[Russell appears on the screen]
Russell Hey Dug! Who you talking to?
Alpha [the screen goes black] No, wait, wait!
Beta What's Dug doing?
Gamma Why's he with that small mailman?
Beta Where are they?
[Alpha locates Dug on GPS]
Dug There he is, come on!
[they all dart into the jungle]
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Charles Muntz Any last words Fredricksen? Come on, spit it out!
[Carl spits out his dentures]
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[Muntz had just taken Kevin, and set Carl's House on Fire, which popped some of the balloons and left it floating only inches to the ground]
Russell You gave away Kevin. You just... gave her away.
Carl Fredricksen This is none of my concern.
[Turns around, Furious after what happened]
Carl Fredricksen I DIDN'T ASK FOR ANY OF THIS.
Dug Master, it's alright.
Carl Fredricksen I AM NOT YOUR MASTER! AND YOU DIDN'T SHOW UP, NONE OF THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED. BAD DOG! BAD DOG! Now whether you assist me or not, I am going to Paradise Falls, if it kills me.
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Russell Hey look, buildings! That building's so close, I can almost touch it!
Russell [In Carl's thought] Wow! This is great! You should try this, Mr. Fredricksen! Look, there's a bus stop that could take me home two blocks away! Heyy, I can see your house from here!
Carl Fredricksen [pulling on rope] Don't jerk around so much, kid -
[let's go, shocked]
Russell AHH!
[fades away]
Carl Fredricksen [back in reality] Well, that's not gonna work.
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Russell I've never been in a floating house before.
[Russell sees a picture of Ellie and laughs]
Russell Goggles. Look at this stuff. Wow! You're going on a trip?
[Russell picks up a picture of Paradise Falls and reads from it]
Russell "Paradise Falls, a land lost in time." You're going to South America, Mr. Fredricksen?
[Carl grabs the picture from Russell]
Carl Fredricksen Don't touch that! You'll soil it.
Russell You know, most people take a plane, but you're smart because you'll have all your TV and clocks and stuff.
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Construction Foreman Tom Hey! 'Morning, Mr. Fredricksen. Need any help there?
Carl Fredricksen No. Yes. Tell your boss over there that you boys are ruining our house.
Construction Foreman Tom Well, just to let you know, my boss would be happy to take this old place off your hands, and for double his last offer! What do you say to that?
[Carl blows Tom's hat off with his leaf blower]
Construction Foreman Tom Uh, I take that as a no, then.
Carl Fredricksen I believe I made my position to your boss quite clear.
Construction Foreman Tom You poured prune juice in his gas tank.
Carl Fredricksen [snickers] Oh, yeah, that was good.
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Russell [to Carl, about Kevin] This was her favorite candy bar. Because you sent her away, there's more for you.
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Carl Fredricksen [George and A.J. walk up to Carl's door and A.J. knocks on it. Carl opens the door] Morning, gentlemen.
Nurse George Good morning, Mr. Fredricksen. You ready to go?
Carl Fredricksen [chuckles] Ready as I'll ever be. Would you do me a favor and take this?
[hands A.J. a suitcase]
Carl Fredricksen I'll meet you at the van in just a minute. I, uh, wanna say one last goodbye to the old place.
Nurse George Sure. Take all the time you need, sir.
[Carl slams his door shut]
Nurse AJ That's typical. He's probably going to the bathroom for the 80th time.
[they start walking to their van]
Nurse George [sees the mess of helium canisters on Carl's lawn and scoffs] You think he'd take better care of his house.
[a large shadow begins to loom up behind them. Many balloons emerge from beneath a tarp and lift Carl's house off of the ground. Both scream. Carl's house hits their van. Its alarm goes off]
Carl Fredricksen Ah, ha ha ha! So long, boys! I'll send you a postcard from Paradise Falls!
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Russell Where are you keeping Kevin? Let me go!
Beta Scream all you want, small mailman.
Alpha None of your mailman friends can hear you.
Russell I'll unleash all my Wilderness Explorer training!
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Dug Oh, please, oh, please, oh, please be my prisoner!
Russell Dug, stop bothering Kevin!
Dug That man there says I should take the bird...
[Kevin squacks at Dug]
Dug ... and I love that man there like he is my master.
Carl Fredricksen I am not your master!
Dug I am warning you once again, bird!
Russell Hey! Quit it!
Dug I am jumping on you now, bird!
Carl Fredricksen Russell, at this rate we'll never get to the falls!
Dug Here, bird!
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Carl Fredricksen [Having arrived above Paradise Falls in South America, miles from where they took off] Don't worry, I'll get you down, find a Bus Stop.
[cuts off the strings to some of the balloons, allowing the house to descend down]
Russell Whoa, that's s gonna be like a billion transfers to get back to my house...
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Carl Fredricksen [to Russell] Now, we're gonna walk to the falls quickly and quietly with no rap music or flashdancing.
Russell Uh-huh.
Carl Fredricksen We have three days, at best, before the helium leaks out of those balloons. And if we're not at the falls when that happens...
Russell [behind Carl, obviously distracted, looking down] Sand.
Carl Fredricksen ...we're not getting to the falls.
Russell I found sand!
Carl Fredricksen [looks up at his house, through a window, to where a picture of old Ellie hangs on the wall] Don't you worry, Ellie. We'll get our house over there.
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Russell The wilderness must be explored! CA-CA! RAAWWRR!
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[Dug manages to outsmart Alpha]
Dog [All dogs gasp] He wears the cone of shame!
[Alpha struggles to get his head unstuck from Between the Steering Wheel. He also damaged his Collar while doing so]
Alpha [Squeaky Voice] Not yet you fools attack!
[the other dogs laugh]
Alpha No no! Stop your laughing Get this off of me!
Dug Listen you dog Sit!
[Alpha sits, the Other Dogs then do the same]
Dog Yes Alpha!
Dug Hey, I'm not Alpha. He is. Oh!
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Russell [after Carl's house has fell down to the ground and was presumably destroyed] Sorry about your house, Mr. Fredricksen.
Carl Fredricksen You know... it's just a house.
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Alpha [In squeaky voice] Master, dinner is ready.
Charles Muntz Oh, yes, broken collar? It's that loose wire again.
[fixes the collar]
Charles Muntz There you go, big fella.
Alpha [In deep, intimidating voice] Thank you, Master.
Russell [Nervously] I liked his other voice better.
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Carl Fredricksen So you want to assist an old person?
Russell Yep! Then I will be a Senior Wilderness Explorer!
Carl Fredricksen [looks around furtively, then leans in close] Have you ever heard of a Snipe?
Russell Snipe?
Carl Fredricksen Bird. Beady eyes. Every night it sneaks in my yard and gobbles my poor azaleas. I'm elderly and infirm. I can't catch it. If only someone could help me...
Russell Me! Me! I'll do it!
Carl Fredricksen Oh, I don't know. It's awfully crafty. You'd have to clap your hands three times to lure it in.
Russell I'll find it, Mr. Fredricksen!
Carl Fredricksen I think its burrow is two blocks down. If you go past...
Russell Two blocks down! Got it!
[Russell runs off down the street, calling out and clapping his hands]
Russell Sniiiipe! Here, Snipey, Snipey...
Carl Fredricksen [smirks] Bring it back here when you find it!
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Construction Worker Steve [directing a large construction vehicle backing up] Okay, keep her coming. Keep coming. And stop. Stop. Stop!
[it starts to run over Carl's mailbox]
Carl Fredricksen [watching from his doorway] Why... Hey! Hey you!
[Steve sees him and runs to the mailbox]
Carl Fredricksen What do you... What do you think you're doing?
[he shuffles quickly to his mailbox]
Construction Worker Steve I am so sorry, sir.
[he attempts to fix Carl's mailbox]
Carl Fredricksen Don't touch that!
Construction Worker Steve [they fight for control of the mailbox] No, no, no. Let me take care of that for you.
Carl Fredricksen Get away from our mailbox!
Construction Worker Steve Hey. Sir, I...
Carl Fredricksen I don't want you to touch it!
[he clubs Steve on the head with his cane. Blood is drawn. Carl retreats into his house, ashamed]
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Police Officer Edith [after Carl gets back from the courtroom, at night] Sorry, Mr. Fredricksen. You don't seem like a public menace to me. Take this.
[she hands him a Shady Oaks Retirement Village brochure]
Police Officer Edith The guys from Shady Oaks will be by to pick you up in the morning, okay?
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Newsreel Announcer [after the National Explorer's Society accuses Muntz of fabricating the "Monster of Paradise Falls" skeleton] The organization strips Muntz of his membership.
[a patch is ripped off Muntz's jacket]
Newsreel Announcer Humiliated, Muntz vows a return to Paradise Falls and promises to capture the beast alive!
Charles Muntz [speaking to a large audience outside in the newsreel] I promise to capture the beast alive, and I will not come back until I do!
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[first lines]
Newsreel Announcer Movietown News presents, "Spotlight on Adventure." What you are now witnessing is footage never before seen by civilized humanity: a lost world in South America. Lurking in the shadow of majestic Paradise Falls, it sports plants and animals undiscovered by science. Who would dare set foot on this inhospitable summit? Why, our subject today, Charles Muntz!
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Charles Muntz [Muntz notices that Russell is hanging by Carl's garden hose high in the air. He speaks into his intercom] Gray leader? Take down the house.
Russell [still hanging on the hose] AAAAh!
[he sees three planes drop out of the blimp]
Russell Oh?
[the planes swoop in. Three dogs are piloting them]
Beta Gray Leader, checking in.
Gamma Gray Two, checking in.
Omega Gray Three, checking in.
Beta [they approach Carl's house] Target sighted.
[he chomps down on a squeaky bone. The plane fires projectiles]
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Carl Fredricksen [to a contractor trying to get Carl to move out] You in the suit! Yes, you! Take a bath, hippie!
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Russell [Distracting the Dogs on the planes after having managed to finally climb up the hose onto Carl's Porch of his house floating around Muntz' Airship] Hey look, Squirrel!
Beta Beta, Gamma, Omega: Where? Lemme at em.
[Beta, Gamma and Omega all crash into each other, destroying their planes as they activate their parachutes]
Gamma [Slowly descending] I hate Squirrels!
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Dug I can smell you!
Carl Fredricksen [confused] What? You can, smell us?
Dug I can smell you!
Russell [when Carl realizes that the "person" he's talking to is actually a rock, laughing] You were talking to a rock.
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Russell Oh! Mr. Fredricksen! If we happen to get separated, use the wilderness explorer call: "CA - CA! RAWRRR!"
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Charles Muntz [on board his Spirit of Adventure airship] Does anyone know WHERE THEY ARE?
[Russell is suddenly dragged across the large window by a garden hose. Muntz stares while his eye twitches]
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[Having had a good read of Ellie's book she made many years ago, Carl finally starts to have a Change of Heart]
Carl Fredricksen [Walking outside] Russell?
[Still mad at Carl, Russell takes some of the Balloons from his Roof, ties them around his waste, and takes Carl's Leaf Blower]
Carl Fredricksen Russell, what are you doing?
Russell I'm Gonna help Kevin, even if you won't.
[Russell starts up the Leaf Blower and disappears into the Clouds]
Carl Fredricksen Russell, No!
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[Muntz' Dogs arrive back at his airship, wet after they failed to stop Carl, Russell, and Kevin from getting away]
Charles Muntz You lost them?
Beta They were no match, too fast, they outsmarted us.
Gamma Yeah, Dug helped them get away.
Charles Muntz Wait a minute, Dug?
[Knowing all his Dog's have a Tracking Device on his Collar, Muntz locates Dug on GPS. The scene changes to show Dug with his Collar flashing, sniffing the air at night, with Carl and Russell taking Kevin back to her babies]
Dug Oh boy, my Pack isn't following us. Boy are they dumb.
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Carl Fredricksen You've been camping before, haven't you?
Russell Well, never outside.
Carl Fredricksen Well, why didn't you ask your dad how to build a tent?
Russell I don't think he wants to talk about this stuff.
Carl Fredricksen Why don't you try him sometime? Maybe he'll surprise you.
Russell Well, he's away a lot. I don't see him much.
Carl Fredricksen He's got to be home sometime.
Russell Well, I called, but... Phyllis told me I bug him too much.
Carl Fredricksen Phyllis? You call your own mother by her first name?
Russell Phyllis isn't my mom.
Carl Fredricksen [sheepish] Oh.
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Charles Muntz They called me a fraud, those...
[exclaims in disgust]
Charles Muntz But once I bring back this creature, my name will be cleared.
[shows a skeleton with a striking resemblance to Kevin]
Charles Muntz Beautiful, isn't it? I've spent a lifetime tracking it.
[goes to a map detailing his obsession]
Charles Muntz Sometimes years go by between sightings. I've tried to smoke it out of that deathly labyrinth where it lives. You can't go in after it. Once in, there's no way out. I've lost so many dogs. And here they come these bandits and think the bird is theirs to take. But they soon find that this mountain... is a very dangerous place.
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[as Carl holds onto the hose to his house, preventing it from drifting away without him and Russell in it, he urges Russell to climb up the hose and onto the porch]
Carl Fredricksen Once you get to the Porch, find a rope, and pull me up. Got it?
[Russell strains as he tries to climb up the hose off screen, which is hard work]
Carl Fredricksen Are you on the Porch yet?
[the scene changes to show that Russell has barely made it up an inch]
Russell [Giving up and Exhausted] I can't do it.
Carl Fredricksen That's it? I came all this way just to end up on the Wrong Side of this Rock Pile?
Carl Fredricksen [Depressed] Now what am I gonna do?
Russell I can assist you to the Falls. We could walk you house over.
Carl Fredricksen Well, that could work.
Russell Then when we get there, will you sign my badge?
[Carl ties ropes hanging from the house round his and Russell's waste in the Next Scene as they start to walk]
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Young Ellie [written note to Carl] Thank you for the adventure. Now find another adventure.
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