Monsters, Inc. 2001 - Movie Quotes

[last lines]

Sulley Boo?

Boo Kitty!

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Mike Can I borrow your odorant?

Sulley Yeah, I got, uh, Smelly Garbage or Old Dumpster.

Mike You got, uh, Low Tide?

Sulley No.

Mike How about Wet Dog?

Sulley Yep. Stink it up.

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Sulley [is fighting the invisible Randall when he is hit with a snowball] Mike?

Mike Look, it's not that I don't care about the kid.

Sulley Mike, you don't understand.

Mike Yes, I do. I was just mad, that's all. I needed some time to think, but you shouldn't have left me out there.

Sulley I'm being attacked!

Mike No, I'm not attacking you. I'm trying to be honest, just hear me out. You and I are a team. Nothing is more important than our friendship.

[Boo approaches Mike, frightened]

Mike I-I know, kid. He's too sensitive.

Mike [Sulley is being strangled] Come on, pal. If you start crying, I'm gonna cry, and I'll never get through this. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, but I am now. Hey, Sulley, I am baring my soul here. The least you can do is pay attention!

[Throws snowball; it hits Randall, making him visible enough for Sulley to knock him out]

Mike Hey, look at that, it's Randall. It's... Oh.

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Charlie [Repeated line] Twenty-three nineteen! We have a Twenty-three nineteen!

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[Sully thinks Boo has been crushed into a cube of garbage]

Sulley [tearfully] I can still hear her little voice.

Boo [from down the hall] Mike Wazowski!

Mike Hey, I can hear her too.

Kids Mike Wazowski!

Mike How many kids you got in there?

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Mike Good morning, Roz, my succulent little garden snail. And who will we be scaring today?

Roz Wazowski! You didn't file your paperwork last night.

Mike Oh, that darn paperwork! Wouldn't it be easier if it all just blew away?

Roz Don't let it happen again.

Mike Yes, well, I'll try to be more careful next time.

Roz I'm watching you, Wazowski. Always watching. Always.

Mike Ooh, she's nuts.

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[Mike and Sulley watch a commercial featuring them, but Mike is covered over by the Monsters Inc. logo]

Mike I can't believe it...

Sulley Oh, Mike...

Mike I was on TV. Ha. Did you see me? I'm a natural.

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Randall [pins Mike to the wall] Where's the kid?

Mike Kid?

[chuckles nervously]

Mike What kid?

Randall It's here in the factory. Isn't it?

Mike You're not pinning this on me! It never would've gotten out if *you* hadn't been cheating last night!

Randall [outraged] Cheating? I...

[calms down]

Randall Cheating. Right. Okay, I think I know how to make this all go away. What happens when the whistle blows in five minutes?

Mike Uh, I get a time-out?

Randall Everyone goes to lunch! Which means: the scare floor will be...?

Mike ...Painted?

Randall EMPTY! It'll be empty, you idiot! You see that clock? When the big hand is pointing up...

[forces Mike's left arm up]

Randall and the little hand is pointing up...

[forces his right arm up]

Randall the kid's door will be in my station. But when the big hand points down...

[bends the right arm over the left; Mike groans in pain]

Randall the door will be gone. You have until then to put the kid back. Get the picture?

[Mike whimpers and nods]

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Mike Roz, my tender, oozing blossom, you're looking fabulous today. Is that a new haircut? Come on, tell me it's a new haircut, isn't it? It's got to be a new haircut. New makeup? You had a lift? You had a tuck? You had something? Something has been inserted in in you that makes you look... Listen, I need a favor. Randall was working late last night out on the scare floor. I really need the key to the door he was using.

Roz Well, isn't that nice? But guess what? You didn't turn in your paperwork last night.

Mike He didn't... I... no paperwork?

Roz This office is now closed.

[closes the window on Mike's fingers]

Mike YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

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Randall [Finding out that he caught Mike instead of Boo] Wazowski! Where is it, you little one-eyed cretin?

Mike Okay, first of all, it's "creetin". If you're gonna threaten me, do it properly. Second of all, you're nuts if you think kidnapping ME is gonna help YOU cheat your way to the top.

Randall [chuckles evilly] You still think this is about that stupid scare record?

Mike Well... I did. Right up until you... chuckled... like that... And now I'm thinking I should just get out of here.

[a Handle Bar is placed down preventing Mike from leaving, and his hands get cuffed on]

Randall I am about to revolutionize the scaring industry, and when I do, even the great James P. Sullivan will be working of me. First I need to know where the kid is, and you're gonna tell me.

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Henry J. Waternoose This has gone far enough, James.

Sulley She's home now. Just leave her alone!

Henry J. Waternoose I can't do that, James. She's seen too much. You both have.

Sulley It doesn't have to be this way.

Henry J. Waternoose I have no choice! Times have changed. Scaring isn't enough anymore.

Sulley But kidnapping children?

Henry J. Waternoose I'll kidnap a thousand children before I let this company die, and I'll silence anyone who gets in my way!

[Waternoose knocks Sulley to the ground and lunges at Boo]

Sulley No!

[Waternoose instead finds the simulated child]

Voice Simulation terminated. Simulation terminated...

Henry J. Waternoose [confused] Huh? But... What?

[the lights come on and it's revealed that Boo's room is really the simulation room; Mike and several CDA agents are standing behind the console]

Mike I don't know about you guys, but I spotted several big mistakes. You know what? Let's watch my favorite part again, shall we?

[replays the tape of Waternoose over and over]

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Sulley Hey, Mike, this might sound crazy but I don't think that kid's dangerous.

Mike Really? Well, in that case, let's keep it. I always wanted a pet that could kill me.

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[Boo, scared of the closet, shows Sully a picture]

Sulley Hey, that looks like Randall. Randall's your monster. You think he's gonna come out of the closet and scare you?

[Opens closet and walks inside]

Sulley Look, it's empty. No monster in here. Okay, NOW there is. I'm not gonna scare you. I'm off duty.

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[Mike and Sulley at a crosswalk next to a giant monster]

Sulley Hey, Ted! Good morning!

[Ted clucks; light changes and they cross]

Sulley See that, Mikey? Ted's walking to work.

Mike Big deal. Guy takes five steps and he's there.

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Sulley How can I do this? How could I be so stupid? This could ruin the company.

Mike The company? Who cares about the company? What about us? That thing is a KILLING MACHINE!

[points at Boo, who is babbling harmlessly]

Mike I bet it's waiting for us to fall asleep, and then - bam! Oh, we're easy prey, my friend. Easy prey! We're sitting targets!

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Celia Oh, Michael, I've had a lot of birthdays - well, not a lot of birthdays but this is the best birthday ever.

[Mike stares lovingly at her]

Celia What are you looking at?

Mike I was just thinking about the first time I laid eye on you, how pretty you looked.

Celia [shyly] Stop it.

Mike Your hair was shorter then.

Celia Mm-hmm. I'm thinking about getting it cut.

[the snakes in Celia's hair squeal with fear]

Mike No-no, I like it this length.

[the snakes sigh in relief]

Mike I like everything about you. Just the other day someone asked me who I thought the most beautiful was in all of Monstropolis. You know what I said?

Celia What did you say?

Mike I said...

[Just then, Sulley's face appears in the window behind Celia]

Mike Sulley?

Celia Sulley?

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Mike Psst, Fungus. Fungus, you like cars? Because I got a really nice car. You let me go, I'll give you... a ride... in the car. Please, Fungus?

Fungus I'm sorry, Wazowski, but Randall said I'm not allowed to fraternize with victims of his evil plot.

[Sulley grabs Fungus from above, while Mike looks up overjoyed. In the next scene, Randall manages to plug the Scream Extractor back in, and then returns to the lab where he notices that Fungus is seated in where Mike was, with the Scream Extractor sucking him.]

Randall [gasps] What happened? Where's Wazowski? Where is he?

[Randall turns off the machine as Fungus, now turned white and pale from the Scream Extractor, weakly points in a direction to his left]

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[first lines]

Flint All right, Mr. Bile, is it?

Bile Uh, my friends call me Phlem.

Flint Uh-huh, Mr. Bile, can you tell me what you did wrong?

Bile I fell down?

Flint No, No, before that.

[Turning to the Trainees behind her]

Flint Can anyone tell me Mr. Bile's big mistake? Anyone?

[the Trainees look confused]

Flint [Playing the Footage on the Screen above of Bile entering the room] Alright let's check footage, right there. The Door! And leaving the door open is the worst mistake that any employee could make, because...

Bile Uh... it could let in a draft?

Henry J. Waternoose [Storming in] It could let in a child.

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[Repeated Line]

Boo Mike Waszowski.

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Sulley Mike, that's not her door.

Mike What are you talking about? Of course it's her door. It's her door.

Sulley No. Her door was white and it had flowers on it.

Mike No. It must've dark last night because this is its door.

[opens the door. A bright light and polka music emanate from the room]

Mike [to Boo] You hear that? Sounds like fun in there. Well, see ya kid. Send me a postcard. That's Mike Wazowski, care of 22 Mike Wazowsi-You-Got-Your-Life-Back-Lane.

Boo Mowki Kowski.

Mike Very good. Now bon voyage. See ya.

[waves a stick in front of Boo as if she were a dog]

Mike Look at the stick. See the stick?

[throws the stick through the door]

Mike Go get the stick. Go fetch.

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Mike [as the Scream Extractor approaches] What is that thing? What is that thing? Hey, hey, hey, that thing is moving. I don't like big, moving things that are moving towards me.

[the Scream Extractor comes to a stop, pointing itself directly at Mike]

Randall Say hello to the Scream Extractor.

Mike Hello. Hey, where are you going? C'mon, we'll talk! We'll have a latte!

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Yeti You wanna go to the village? Okay, rule number one out here: Always... no, Never go out in a blizzard.

Sulley We need to get to Boo.

[a snowcone gets thrown at Sulley from off-screen. The Yeti points at Mike]

Mike Boo? What about us?

[Throws another snowcone]

Mike Ever since that kid came in, you've ignored everything I've said, and now look where we are!

[Throws another snowcone]

Mike Oh, we were about to break the record, Sulley. We would've had it made!

Sulley None of that matters now.

Mike None of it matters?

[Drops the snowcone he was about to throw onto the floor]

Mike Wa-wait a second. None of it matters? Oh, okay, that's - no. Good. Great. So now the truth comes out, doesn't it?

Yeti Oh, would you look at that? We're out of snowcones. Let me... just go outside and make some more.

[Leaves]

Mike Sulley, what about everything we ever worked for? Does that matter? Huh? What about Celia? I am never... never gonna see her again. Doesn't that matter? What about me? I'm your pal, I'm-I'm your best friend. Don't I matter?

Sulley I'm sorry, Mike. I'm sorry we're stuck out here. I didn't mean all this to happen. But Boo's in trouble. I think there might be a way to save her if we can just get down to that...

Mike We? Whoa, whoa. We? No. There's no we this time, pal. If-if-if you wanna go out there and freeze to death, you be my guest, because you're on your own.

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Roz Hello, Wazowski. Fun-filled evening planned for tonight?

Mike Well, as a matter of fact...

Roz Then I'm sure you filed your paperwork correctly, for once.

[Mike smiles innocently]

Roz Your stunned silence is very reassuring.

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Sulley Oh. So *that's* puce.

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Yeti Abominable. Can you believe that? Do I look abominable to you? Why can't they call me the Adorable Snowman, or the Agreeable Snowman, for crying out loud? I'm a nice guy. Snow cone?

Mike Yuck.

Yeti No, no, no, don't worry. It's lemon. How about you Big Fella? Snow cone?

Sulley [Feeling sad after accidentally scaring Boo at the Scare Simulator] Did you see the way she looked at me?

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Mike Get out of here. You're ruining everything.

Sulley I went back to get your paperwork and there was a door.

Mike What? A door?

Sulley Randall was in it.

Mike Wait a minute, Randall? That cheater! He's trying to boost his numbers.

Sulley There's something else.

Mike What?

Sulley Ook-lay in the ag-bay.

Mike What?

Sulley Look in the bag.

Mike [the bag Sulley carried over with Boo inside is missing] What bag?

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Sulley Nice job, Mikey. You filled your quota on the first kid of the day.

Mike You know, only someone with great comedic timing could produce this much energy in one shot.

Sulley Uh-huh, and the fact that laughter has ten times the energy of scream had nothing to do with it.

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Mike I'm telling you, Big Daddy. You're gonna be seeing this face on TV more often.

Sulley Yeah, like on "Monstropolis' Most Wanted"?

Mike Ha, ha, ha. You've been jealous of my good looks since the fourth grade, pal.

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[Randall cuffs Boo onto the chair at the Scream Extractor, preparing to extract her screams to impress Waternoose]

Henry J. Waternoose Finally. I shouldn't have trusted you. Because of you, I had to banish my top scarer.

Randall Ah, with this machine, we won't need scarers. Besides, Sullivan got what he deserved.

Henry J. Waternoose Sullivan was twice the scarer you'll ever be!

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Sulley Mike, this isn't Boo's door.

Mike Boo? What's Boo?

Sulley That's... what I decided to call her. Is there a problem?

Mike Sulley, you're not supposed to name it. Once you name it, you start getting attached to it. Now put that thing back where it came from or so help me...

[pauses, realizing that they suddenly have the attention of the entire scare floor]

Mike Oh, hey. We're rehearsing a - a scene for the upcoming company play called uh, Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me. It's a musical.

[singing]

Mike Put that thing back where it came from or so help me... so help me, so help me and cut. We're still working on it, it's a work in progress but, hey, we need ushers.

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[Mike and Sulley, with the help of Waternoose, are preparing to send Boo home. Watenoose clicks on a device that retrieves doors]

Henry J. Waternoose I never thought it would come to this. Not in my factory. I'm sorry you boys got mixed up in this. Especially you, James. But, now we can set everything straight again. For the good of the company.

[a huge metal door is brought out instead of Boo's]

Mike Sir, that's not her door.

Henry J. Waternoose I know, I know...

[Suddenly, Randal materializes in front of the door and opens it, which leads out to a Harsh Cold Environment]

Henry J. Waternoose ... It's yours.

[Waternoose, holding Boo, pushes Mike and Sulley through the door]

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Babysitter Well, hello there. What's your name?

Boo Mike Wazowski.

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Needleman So I said, "If you talk to me like that again, we're through."

Smitty Oh! What did she say?

Needleman You know my mom. She sent me to my room.

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Mike Oh, you should have seen the look on Waternoose's face when that wall went up. Woo-hoo! I hope we get a copy of that tape. Hey, you all right? Come on, we did it. We got Boo home. Sure, we put the company in the toilet, and, gee, hundreds of people will be out of work now, not to mention the angry mob that'll come after us when there's no more power... but hey, at least we had a few laughs, right?

Sulley [Having had an idea, from seeing what Boo's laughing could do] Laughs!

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Mike Look at the big jerk. He ruined my life, and for what? A STUPID KID! Because of you, I am stuck in this frozen wasteland!

Yeti Wasteland? I think you mean "Wonderland"! I mean, how about all this fabulous snow, huh? Oh, and wait until you see the local village, cutest thing in the world. I haven't mentioned all the free yak's milk.

Sulley Wh... What did you say?

Yeti Yak's milk. Milking a yak ain't exactly a picnic; but once you pick the hairs out, it's very nutritious.

Sulley No, No. Something about a Village. Are there any Kids there?

Yeti Oh, sure. Tough kids, sissy kids, kids who climb on rocks...

Sulley Where is it?

Yeti Bottom of the Mountain. A 3 Day hike from here.

Sulley 3 Days? We need to get there NOW.

[Sulley bangs his fists against the wall in Frustration. A fallen icicle rolls over to a Toboggan and Lantern over in the corner, which could help him get down the mountain quickly]

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Randall Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Do you hear that? It's the winds of change.

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Trailer Son [after Sully throws Randall into a door and destroys it] Mama! 'Nother gator got in the house!

Trailer Mom Another gator? Gimme that shovel!

[she begins to whack Randall with the shovel]

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Henry J. Waternoose No, no, no, no, no. What was that? You're trying to scare the kid, not lull it to sleep.

Bile I was going for a snake-slash-ninja approach, with a little hissing.

[hisses]

Henry J. Waternoose How many times must I tell you? It's all about presence. About how you enter the room.

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Mike She's the one. I'm telling ya, she is the one.

Sulley I'm happy for you.

Mike Oh, by the way, thanks for hooking me up with those reservations.

Sulley No problem. They're under the name Googlie-Bear.

Mike Thanks, I... you know, that ain't very funny.

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Celia So, uh... are we going anywhere special tonight?

Mike I-I just got us into a little place called, um... Harryhausen's.

Celia Harryhausen's? But it's impossible to get a reservation there.

Mike Not for Googlie Bear. I will see you at quitting time, and not a minute later.

Celia Okay, sweetheart.

Mike Think romantical thoughts.

[singing]

Mike You and me, me and you, both of us together!

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[Boo, in disguise, walks up to Mr. Waternoose]

Henry J. Waternoose Well hello, little one. Where did you come from?

Sulley Mr. Waternoose.

Henry J. Waternoose Ah, James. Is this one yours?

Sulley Ah, actually that's my uh, cousin's sister's daughter, sir.

Mike Yeah, it's uh, "Bring an Obscure Relative to Work Day".

Henry J. Waternoose Hmm, must have missed the memo.

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Randall [materializes in front of Mike's locker] WAZOWSKI!

[Mike falls from the chair]

Randall Well what do you know? It scares little kids and little monsters.

Mike I wasn't scared, I have allergies

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[Boo's laugh made all the lights go out]

Sulley What was that?

Mike Wazowski I have no idea. But it would be a really good idea if it didn't do it again.

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Sulley [Sulley and Mike have just been banished to the Himalayas on Earth - Sulley opens the door to find nothing beyond it] BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Sulley [Opens and closes door, pushes frame, nothing happens] No, no! No, no, no, no, NO!

Mike It's too late! We're banished, genius! We're in the human world! Oh, what a great idea; goin' to your old pal Waternoose! Too bad he was in on the whole thing! All you hadda do, was listen to me, just once! But you didn't, did you?

[Sulley continues to fret in the doorway]

Mike YOU'RE STILL NOT LISTENING!

[Mike jumps at Sulley in Frustration sending them down a hill. Then they get Company]

Yeti Welcome to the Himalayas.

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Boo [giggles and opens her closet door, only to find nothing but toys and clothes hung up] Boo!... Kitty?

[the scene changes to show Boo's door being shredded by the CDA and Roz]

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Yeti [Referring to despondent Sully] Aw, poor guy. I understand. It ain't easy being banished. Take my buddy Bigfoot. When he was banished he fashioned an enormous diaper out of poison ivy. Wore it on his head like a tiara. Called himself "King Itchy".

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Henry J. Waternoose Kids these days. They just don't get scared like they used to.

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Mike Come on, the coast is clear. Ok, all we have to do is get rid of that thing, so wait here while I get its cardkey.

Sulley But she can't stay here this is the men's room.

[pause]

Mike That is the weirdest thing you have ever said. Its fine, it's ok! Look, it loves it here, its dancing with joy!

[Boo needs to 'go' badly and is struggling to hold it in]

Mike I'll be right back with its door key.

Sulley [laughs] That's a cute little dance you got. Almost looks like you gotta - Oh.

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[Sulley's alarm clock clicks, and Mike impersonates the radio announcer]

Mike Hey, good morning, Monstropolis. It's now five after the hour of 6:00 A.M. in the big monster city. Temperature's a balmy 65 degrees, which is good news for you reptiles, and it looks like it's gonna be a perfect day to maybe, hey, just lie in bed, sleep in, or simply... Work out that flab that's hanging over the bed! Get up, Sulley!

[honks a horn right in Sulley's face; Sulley wakes up and screams, then starts working out]

Sulley I don't believe I ordered a wake-up call, Mikey.

Mike Hey, less talk, more pain, marshmellow boy!

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Mike Follow the sultry sound of my voice

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Roz None of this ever happened, gentlemen. And I don't want to see any paperwork on it.

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Mike Hey, genius. Wanna know why I bought the car?

Sulley Not really.

Mike To drive it! You know, like on the street? With the honk-honk and the vroom-vroom, and the no walking involved?

Sulley Wah, wah, wah. Will you give it a rest, butterball? C'mon, you could use the exercise.

Mike I could use the exercise? Look at you. You have your own climate.

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Needleman Hey, Mr. Sullivan!

Sulley Guys, I told you, call me Sulley.

Smitty [Giggling] I don't think so.

Needleman We just wanted to wish you good luck today.

Mike Hey, hey, hey, hey. Come on, get lost, you two. You're making him lose his focus.

Needleman Oh, sorry.

Sulley See you later, fellas.

Smitty Go get 'em, Mr. Sullivan!

Needleman Quiet! You're making him lose his focus.

Smitty Oh, no. Sorry!

Needleman Shut up!

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Mike You know, I am so romantic, sometimes I think I should just marry myself.

Sulley Give me a break, Mike.

Mike What a night of romance I got ahead of me. Tonight it's about me and Celia. Ooh, the Love Boat is about to set sail. Toot-toot! Cause I gotta tell you, buddy, that face of hers , it just makes my heart go...

[Sees Roz in front of him]

Mike Yikes!

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Sulley [Boo is sleeping in Sulley's Bed] Hey that's my bed, you're gonna get your germs all over it.

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Henry J. Waternoose [Being arrested by the CDA] I hope you're happy, Sullivan. You destroyed this company. Monsters Incorporated is dead! Where will everyone get their scream now? The energy crisis will only get worse, because of you!

[the Doors close as Waternoose is dragged out]

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Henry J. Waternoose James, this company has been in my family for three generations. I would do anything to keep it from going under.

Sulley So would I, sir.

Henry J. Waternoose Say, I could use your help with something.

Sulley Anything, sir.

Henry J. Waternoose You see, we've recently hired some new recruits, and frankly, they're... um...

Sulley Inexperienced?

Henry J. Waternoose Oh, they stink!

Sulley Uh-huh.

Henry J. Waternoose I thought you could drop by the simulator tomorrow and give them a little scare demonstration, show them what it takes to be our top scarer.

Sulley I'll start with the old Waternoose Jump-and-Growl.

[Jumps and growls]

Henry J. Waternoose [Startled] Oh! Ha ha! That's my boy.

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Henry J. Waternoose There's nothing more toxic or deadly than a human child. A single touch could kill you. Leave a door open, and one can walk right into this factory; right into the monster world.

Trainee I won't go into a kid's room. You can't make me.

Henry J. Waternoose You're going in there, because we need this.

[Holds out a Scream Canister, which lets out a small scream that it Extracted]

Henry J. Waternoose Our city is counting on you to collect those screams. Without scream, we have no power. Yes, it's dangerous work, and that's why I need you to be at your best. I need scarers who are confident, tenacious, tough, intimidating. I need scarers like... like... James P. Sullivan.

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TV Anchorman If witnesses are to be believed, there has been a child security breach for the first time in monster history.

CDA Agent We can neither confirm nor deny the presence of a human child here tonight.

Witness #1 Well the kid flew right over me and blasted a car with its laser vision.

Witness #2 I tried to get away from it, but he picked me up with his mind powers and shook me like a doll.

Witness #3 [has many eyes] It's true! I saw the whole thing!

Professor on TV It is my professional opinion that now it's the time to *panic*!

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[Ward runs out of a door, scared to tears]

Ward's Assistant What happened?

Ward The kid almost touched me. She got this close to me.

Ward's Assistant She wasn't scared of you? She was only six.

Ward [shakes his assistant] I could have been dead. I could have DIED.

Ward's Assistant [slaps Ward] Keep it together, man.

Ward's Assistant [whistles] Hey, we've get a dead door over here.

[Smitty and Needleman arrive with a Door Shredder, and place the door Ward went through into it]

Needleman OK, Let her rip!

[the Door gets shredded, leaving only shards and a Door Knob]

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Mike [while Sulley brushes teeth] C'mon, fight that plaque! Fight that plaque! Scary monsters don't have plaque!

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[Mike and Sully have transported to Hawaii]

Mike Why couldn't we have been banished here?

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Sulley Hey... may the best monster win.

Randall I plan to.

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Mike I think I have a plan here: using mainly spoons, we dig a tunnel under the city and release it into the wild.

Sulley Spoons?

Mike That's it, I'm out of ideas. We're closed. Hot air balloon? Too expensive. Giant slingshot? Too conspicuous. Enormous wooden horse? Too Greek.

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Mike [whilst he, Sulley and Boo are hanging from a door leading into the station of where they come from] Sulley, what are we doing?

Sulley We have to get Boo's door and find a station.

Mike What a plan. Simple, yet insane.

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[Mike complains to Sulley about Randall]

Mike One of these days I am really... gonna let you teach that guy a lesson.

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[running from Randall in the door vault, Sulley and Mike's shadows appear behind a Japanese paper screen]

Mike Come on, it slides, it slides!

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Charlie [Trying to reassure George, who is in crutches after too many encounters with the CDA] Now, George, I know you can do this. I picked out an easy door for you, in Nepal. Nice, quiet Nepal.

George Sanderson You know, you're right. Here, Take this.

[Give Charlie his crutches]

Charlie Go get 'em, Georgie.

[as George walks to the door, Sulley bursts through, knocks George over]

Sulley Gangway! Look out! Coming through! Sorry, George.

Charlie Hey, you can't just...

[Sees a sock on George]

Charlie Twenty-three nine...!

[George grabs Charlie, stuffs the sock in his mouth and tosses him into the door, then walks away humming happily]

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[Sulley enters the Scare Simulator room with Mike and Boo in her costume, willing to ask for help which can send Boo home, forgetting Waternoose had been expecting him]

Sulley Mr. Waternoose?

Henry J. Waternoose James! You're just in time. OK Gentleman. It's time for you to see how scaring really works.

[Mike picks up Boo and walks away]

Sulley But sir, I just wanted to ask...

[the lights go out, as if it's nighttime, and the Simulator Child goes to sleep]

Boo [Excited to watch Sulley] Kitty!

Mike No Boo. I wouldn't...

Henry J. Waternoose Now, give us a a Great Big Roar.

Sulley Sir, can I just...

Henry J. Waternoose Roar!

Sulley But sir...

Henry J. Waternoose ROAR!

[Sulley without choice, lunges out at the Simulator Child and lets out a loud roar, causing it to scream. Little did he know that Boo was standing close by, watching in horror]

Henry J. Waternoose [Applauds] Well done James. Well done. Well Gentleman, I hope you've all learnt a valuable lesson...

[Sulley notices Boo run off crying, terrified from his roar]

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[Sully goes looking for Boo; Mike tries to talk him out of it]

Mike Someone else will find the kid. I'll be their problem, not ours. She's out of our hair!

[they bump into an Invisible Randall]

Randall [Turning Visible again] What are you two doing?

Monster They're rehearsing a play.

Mike [singing] She's out of our hair...!

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Boo Lookit.

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[from teaser trailer]

Mike Oh, that's great, blame it on the little guy. How original. He must've read the schedule wrong with his one eye.

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Mike [Spotting Sulley while he's working out] 118. Do you have 119? Do I see 120? Oh, I don't believe it!

Sulley I'm not even breaking a sweat.

Mike Not you! Look! The new commercial's on.

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Sulley [singing to Boo to get her to stop crying] Oh, he's a happy bear, and he's not crying, and neither should you, or we'll be in trouble, 'cause they're gonna find us...

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Mike Just think about a few names for a second: Bigfoot. Loch Ness. The Abominable Snowman. They all have one thing in common, pal: Banishment! We could be next!

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Mike Oh, Schmootsie-poo?

Celia Googlie Bear.

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[Celia is hanging on to Mike while Sulley is dragging him]

Celia Michael, if you don't tell me what's going on right now, we are through! You hear me? Through!

Mike Okay, here's the truth. You know that kid they're looking for? Sulley let her in. We tried to get her back, but Waternoose had a secret plot, and now Randall's right behind us, and he's tring to kill us.

Celia You expect me to believe that pack of lies, Mike Wazowski?

Boo [peeking from Sulley's shoulder] Mike Wazowski!

[Celia screams and lets go]

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Sulley Hey, did you lose weight, or a limb?

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Randall I'm in the zone today, Sullivan. I'm gonna do some serious scaring, putting up some big numbers.

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Randall [to Sulley, hanging on from a door] Look at everybody's favorite scarer now, you stupid, pathetic waste!

[starts stomping on Sulley's fingers]

Randall You've been number one for too long, Sullivan. Now your time is up. And don't worry, I'll take good care of the kid.

[Just then Boo jumps on Randall and attacks him with a baseball bat; Sulley climbs back on and restrains Randall]

Boo Roar! Roar!

Sulley She's not scared of you any more.

Boo Roar!

Sulley Looks like you're out of a job.

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Mike On my desk, Sulley. The pink copies go to Accounting, the fuchshia ones go to Purchasing, and the goldenrod ones go to Roz. Leave the puce.

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Henry J. Waternoose What a day.

Sulley It's just a rough patch, sir. Everyone knows you'll get us through it.

Henry J. Waternoose Tell that to the board of directors.

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Mike Scary feet, scary feet, scary feet, scary feet, oop! The kid's awake!

[Sulley ducks down]

Mike Okay, scary feet, scary feet, scary feet, scary feet, kid's asleep!

[Sulley roars]

Mike Twins! In a bunk bed!

[Sulley growls high, then low, then high then low again]

Mike Darn I thought I had you with that one!

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Mike [chanting] I don't know, but it's been said, I love scaring kids in bed!

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Randall So, how about this kid getting loose? Crazy, huh?

Sulley Uh, yeah, crazy.

Randall Word on the street is the kid has been traced to the factory. Know anything about that?

Sulley Uh, no, uh...

Mike No, no way. But if it was an inside job, I'd put my money on Waxford.

Randall Waxford?

Mike Yeah, works over in sector 6, he's got those shifty eyes.

Randall Hey, Waxford!

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Mike [unlocks his car] Come on, hop on in.

Sulley No way, there's a scream shortage. We're walking.

Mike No, come on, It's just-I... just...

[is pulled away from his car after a struggle and locks his car again]

Mike I-I'll call ya!

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Sulley The power's out. Make her laugh again.

Mike All right, I got a move here, it'll bring down the house. Up!

[Does a backflip, lands on his crotch]

Sulley Oh, sorry, she didn't see that.

Mike What? What'd you do, forget to check if her stupid hood was up, you big dope?

Sulley Uncle Mike, try not to yell in front of her. You know we still need her to laugh.

Mike Right. He-he! Hey, Boo! Just kidding. Look!

[Slams the door on his face, making baby noises]

Mike Funny, right? Huh? With the... These are the jokes, kid.

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Mike You're the boss! You're the boss! You're the big, hairy boss!

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Mike Hello, is this thing on? Hey, good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Nice to be here in... your room. Hi, where are you from?

[kid doesn't answer]

Mike You're in kindergarden, right? I used to love kindergarden. Best three years of my life.

[still no answer]

Mike Of my life. But I love sports. Dodgeball was the best. I was the fastest one out there. Course, I was the ball. You see, I... was the ball. All right, kid.

[Mike swallows his microphone and after a few seconds burps it out louldy; kid laughs]

Mike Thank you! You've been a wonderful audience. I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

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Henry J. Waternoose [In the Distance] Finish him off!

[Randall whilst invisible hits Sulley with a Scream Canister, knocking him down, which terrifies Boo who hides out of the way in the corner]

Randall You don't know how long I've waited to do that Sullivan!

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[Deleted Scene]

Sulley [Telling Boo, tucked in his bed, about Randall] You think that he's gonna come through the closet and scare ya. It's empty, see...

[Opens up his closet, only to find Roz]

Roz Guess who?

[Both Roz and Sulley laugh]

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[Sully has just sent Boo back "home"]

Sulley [referring to Waternoose] I think we stopped him, Boo. You're safe now. You be a good girl, OK?

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Celia [wearing a cone after being treated by the CDA] Last night was one of the worst nights of my entire life, bar none!

[the snakes on her hair, also wearing cones, pop out to hiss at Mike]

Celia I thought you cared about me.

Mike Honey, please. Schmoopsie, I thought you liked sushi.

Celia Sushi? Sushi? You think this is about sushi?

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Randall [to Fungus, as he's still not at the top on the Leader board] If I don't see a door in my station in 5 seconds, I will personally put you through the shredder.

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Henry J. Waternoose Well, Jerry, what's the damage so far?

Jerry the floor manager We may actually make our quota today.

Henry J. Waternoose Hmm, first time in a month.

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Celia [answering phone calls] Monsters Inc., please hold. Monsters Inc., I'll connect you. Mrs. Scaremonger is on vacation. Would you like her voice mail?

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[after Randall makes one of his Scares while trying to take the lead past Sulley]

Fungus Randall?

Randall What?

Fungus [Points at the Leaderboard] Look!

[Randall has scored enough points to overtake Sulley and take the lead on the Leaderboard]

Celia [Over PA] Attention everyone! We have a New Scare Leader. Randall Boggs.

[a huge crowd forms around an overjoyed Randall to congratulate him, only for Sulley to overtake him and once again be at the top not long later]

Celia [Over PA] Nevermind.

[the crowd leaves, leaving Randall to continue being frustrated]

Sulley [chuckles after having filled multiple scream canisters at once] Slumber Party.

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[Mike and Sully are caught behind Boo's door]

CDA Agent This is the CDA. Come out slowly with the child in plain sight.

Mike [Stepping out from behind the door with Boo's monster disguise costume] Okay, okay! You got us. Here we are, here's the kid. I'm cooperating. But before you take us away, I have one thing to say.

[Takes Boo's sock out of his mouth and throws it at the CDA agents]

Mike Catch!

CDA Agent [as the others jump over the guy who gets the sock] 23-19!

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Sulley Boo!

[Boo falls into the trash can]

Sulley No!

CDA Agent Hey you!

[Sulley gasps]

CDA Agent Halt! He's the one! The one's from the commercial! Affirmative. That's him. Can we get an autograph?

Sulley [Relieved] Oh! Oh sure! No problem!

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[Deleted Scene]

Sulley [Calling out] Hey Ted, Good Morning.

Rex Rrroooaaarrr!

Unknown Offscreen Character Cut!

[Camera pans out that Rex from the Toy Story Films, much larger, is standing right next to Mike and Sulley]

Rex How was that? Was I scary? Do I get the part? Can I do it again? I can be taller.

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[From the Teaser Trailer]

Mike [Holding a Hula Hoop around him] Hey, guess which planet I am.

[Spins in Circles]

Sulley [Walks to the door] I'm gonna go check on the Donuts.

Mike [as Sulley closes the door] Don't you even get it, you big Fur Rug?

[Growling is heard]

Mike Oh, nice doggy. Nice *Big* Doggie.

Mike [Struggling to open the Closet Door] Sulley, open the door. Open the door.

[Mike yells, then Sulley opens it and pulls him back in in the nick of time]

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Henry J. Waternoose [from deleted scene] You can't touch a child! They're toxic! If a kid ever got through one of our doors, the results would be catastrophic.

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Sulley [Hugging Boo, who wandered off with a Group of Little Monsters] Boo, I was so worried. Don't you ever run off like that again Young Lady.

Babysitter Aww, what an affectionate father.

Sulley Actually she's my Cousin's Sisters Daughter.

Baby Smitty Mike Wazowski!

Mike Hi there, now step aside kid.

[Smitty bites Mike's hand]

Mike YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

[Boo laughs at seeing that, which causes the lights in the hallway to go out, and the Little Monsters begin to scream in panic]

Sulley Stop making Boo laugh!

Mike I didn't!

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Sneezing Monster Aw, Nuts.

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Mike [after seeing himself and Sulley on TV on the news promoting Monsters Incorporated. Phone rings] Hello? I know! Hey, wasn't that great? Did the whole family see it?

[to Sulley]

Mike It's your mom.

[Back on the phone]

Mike Well, what can I say? The camera loves me!

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Additional Voices There's a kid here, a human kid!

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Mike [Boo is holding onto Mike's Teddy Bear, after Sulley tossed it at her] OK, that's it, noone touches Little Mikey.

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Monster Wife Have a good day, sweetie.

Sweetie You too, hon.

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Blobby Aw, Great.

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Randall [as Randall and Fungus are carrying the box, not knowing they have Mike instead of the kid inside the box] The kid needs to take off a few pounds.

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Ricky Mornin', Sulley.

Sulley Mornin', Ricky.

Floor Manager Hey It's the Sullster.

Sulley See you on the scare floor.

Mike Hey Marge. How was jury duty?

Monster #1 Morning, Sulley.

Monster #2 How you doing Big Guy.

Sulley Hey.

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Sulley Great job, Mikey. You filled your quota on the first kid of the day.

Mike Not bad, huh? You know, only somebody with perfect comedic timing could produce this much energy in one shot.

Sulley Uh-huh. And the fact that laughter is ten times more powerful than scream had nothing to do with it?

[Mike clears his throat, sheepishly.]

Celia Oh, Googly Bear...! Come here, you!

[Celia calls to Mike from a nearby desk. Mike tosses the microphone and runs to her.]

Mike Schmoopsie-Poo!

Celia Googly...

[Celia kisses Mike on his mouth, and he feels loved by that. Celia's snakes begin kissing Mike, too, and it tickles him.]

Celia [scolding snakes] Girls, girls! Ple- stop, stop, stop.

[coyly]

Celia Michael, you're such a charmer.

Mike Hey, did you bring the magazine?

Celia They just delivered a whole box.

Mike Let me see it! Ha ha ha! Sulley and I made the cover, right?

[He opens the box and we see: "BUSINESS SHRIEK" magazine. The lead article, "MONSTERS, INC. BACK ON TOP!" shows Sulley in full view. Mike's face is totally obscured by the bar code.]

Mike [in shock] I don't believe it.

Celia [sympathetic] Googly Bear.

[Mike lifts up a copy of the magazine and holds it in front of him.]

Mike I'm on the cover of a maga-zine! OW!

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Randall Wasowski! Where is it, you little one-eyed cretin?

Mike Okay, first of all, it's cretin. If you're gonna threaten me, do it properly. Second of all, you're nuts if you think kidnapping me is gonna help you cheat your way to the top!

Randall [chuckes] You still think this is about that stupid scare record?

Mike Well... I did. Right up until you chuckled like that. And now I'm thinking, I should just get out of here.

Randall [locks Mikes hands to the chair] I am about to revolutionize the scaring industry. When I do, even the great James P. Sullivan is going to be working for me.

Mike Well, somebody's certainly been a busy bee.

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Monsters, Inc. Movie Quotes