Live and Let Die 1973 - Movie Quotes

Sheriff J.W. Pepper There's that son of a bitch. I got him.

[to Bond]

Sheriff J.W. Pepper What are you? Some kinda doomsday machine, boy? Well, *we* got a cage strong enough to hold an animal like you here!

Felix Leiter Captain, would you enlighten the Sheriff, please?

State Trooper Yessir. J.W., let me have a word with ya. J.W., now, this fellow's from London, England. He's a Englishman workin' in cooperation with our boys, a sorta... secret agent.

Sheriff J.W. Pepper Secret agent? On whose side?

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Hamilton Whose funeral is this?

New Orleans Assassin Yours.

[stabs Hamilton]

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Cab driver Hey, you know where you're goin', man?

James Bond Uptown, I believe?

Cab driver Uptown? You headed into Harlem, man!

James Bond Well you just stay on the tail of that jukebox and there's an extra 20 in it for you.

Cab driver Hey, man, for 20 bucks I'd take you to a Ku Klux Klan cookout!

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Solitaire [Kananga has just died from the gas pellet shoved in his mouth] Where's Kananga?

James Bond He always did have an inflated opinion of himself.

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Rosie Carver [James and Rosie lying on a picnic blanket kissing] Oh, James. Ooh you don't know what finding you has meant to me.

James Bond Oh, I can imagine. And you've no idea what finding this has meant to me.

[James shows her a Queen of Cups Tarot card that Solitiare sent him]

James Bond You do know what the Queen of Cups means in an upside-down position? A deceitful, perverse woman. A liar, a cheat, and I'd like some answers now.

Rosie Carver Please... uh... You don't understand, sir. They'll kill me if I do.

James Bond [James Bond produces his gun and points it at Rosie] And I'll kill you if you don't.

Rosie Carver But you couldn't. You wouldn't. Not after what we just done.

James Bond Well, I certainly wouldn't have killed you before.

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[as Bond unzips Miss Caruso's dress with the magnet in his watch]

Miss Caruso Such a delicate touch.

James Bond Sheer magnetism, darling.

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State Trooper That look like a boat stuck in the Sheriff's car there, Eddie?

Eddie Boy, where you been all your life? That there's one of them new car-boats.

Sheriff J.W. Pepper By the powers INvested IN ME by *this parish*, I hereby do commandeer this vehicle and all those persons within!

[spits and looks at Eddie]

Sheriff J.W. Pepper And that means YOU, smartass!

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James Bond Same time tomorrow, Mrs. Bell?

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Mr. Big [to his men] Is *this* the stupid mutha that tailed you uptown?

James Bond There seems to be some mistake. My name is...

Mr. Big Names is for tombstones, baby! Y'all take this honky out and waste him! Now!

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M I'm sure the over-burdened British taxpayer would be fascinated to know how its Special Ordinances section disperses its funds. In future, Commander, let me suggest a perfectly adequate watchmaker just down the street.

[Bond activates the watch magnet, drawing to it M's spoon]

M Good God!

James Bond You see, sir. By pulling out this button, it turns the watch into a hyper-intensified magnetic field. Powerful enough to even deflect the path of a bullet - at long range, or so Q claims...

M I feel very tempted to test that theory right now!

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Tee-Hee [leaving Bond stranded on an island surrounded by crocodiles] There are two ways to disable a crocodile, you know.

James Bond I... don't suppose you'd care to share that information with me?

Tee-Hee One way is to take a pencil, and jam it into the pressure hole behind his eye.

James Bond And the other?

Tee-Hee Oh the other's twice as simple. You just put your hand in his mouth... and pull his teeth out! Heh, heh!

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[after Bond and Solitaire narrowly escape from Mr. Big's henchmen]

James Bond Now where would you like to go?

[Solitaire lies down on a cot]

Solitaire Anywhere where we can find one of these.

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[Bond is en route from London to New York City]

Solitaire [turning tarot cards between sentences] A man comes. He travels quickly. He has purpose. He comes over water. He travels with others. He will oppose. He brings violence and destruction.

[plane lands in New York]

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Rosie Carver There's a...

James Bond Oh, a snake. I forgot, I should have told you. You should never go in there without a mongoose.

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Mr. Big I got my own plans for you, baby. But first, there's one little question that he wants answered for him.

James Bond In that case, you better ship me back to the island and let him ask in person. I'm not in the habit of giving answers to... lackeys.

Mr. Big You damn lucky you got an ear left to hear the question with! Which is, did you mess with that?

[indicates Solitaire]

James Bond Assuming you mean what I think...

[Mr. Big nods impatiently]

James Bond ... That's between Solitaire and myself--and Kanaga. I'll tell him when I see him.

Mr. Big You ain't gonna see the SUNLIGHT again, unless you ANSWER ME!

James Bond [sarcastic] I had no idea you were so frightened of him.

Mr. Big [roars in Bond's face] DID YOU TOUCH HER?

James Bond [firmly] *When I see Kananga.*

Mr. Big ... Right!

[Kananga tears and peels away his own face and hair, actually a latex mask and a wig]

James Bond Quite revealing!

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[last lines]

[Bond removes prosthetic arm from train window]

Solitaire Now what are you doing?

James Bond Just being disarming, darling.

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Sheriff J.W. Pepper [radaring behind a sign as Adam passes him, then on radio] Toby. Toby! I got me a regular Ben-Hur down here. Doing 95... minimum

State Trooper Need any help, J.W.?

Sheriff J.W. Pepper HELL NO!

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[Kananga is about to punish Solitaire for lying about losing her psychic powers when Baron Samedi walks into the room. Solitaire gets up from her chair and heads towards the far wall of the room]

Solitaire [to Kananga, thinking that they are going back to San Monique] When do we start back?

Kananga Soon, Solitaire, soon.

[Samedi picks up a Tarot card, lights it into a nearby fire, and hands it to Kananga. Kananga flaps it around to extinguish the fire]

Kananga [Questioning Solitaire on why she lied to him about losing her powers to read the Tarot] Solitaire, why? I treated you well. You lacked for nothing.

Solitaire I don't understand what you...

Kananga [interrupting] Mr. Bond's watch, my dear. I gave you every break possible. You had a 50-50 chance. You weren't even close.

Solitaire I had no choice. Please believe me. The cards.

[Kananga gets out of his chair and walks towards Solitaire. He immediately grabs her right shoulder and flanks her into his direction. At that moment, anger surrounds him. He turns his head for a minute to face the display. Suddenly, he turns his hand back towards Solitaire and slaps her. She falls to the ground]

Kananga [Realizing that Solitaire defied orders and lost her virginity to Bond] When the time came, I myself would have given you love. You knew that.

[pauses]

Kananga [Angrily] YOU KNEW THAT!

[Baron Samedi, seated on the corner of the table reaches his hand out towards a deck of Tarot cards and picks up the top card of the deck. The cards are face-down, keeping secret which card Samedi picked up.]

Kananga [to Solitaire and Samedi] There's only one proper way to deal with this...

[Solitaire lifts her head and looks at the table while Samedi, with the Tarot card in his hand, flips it around so Solitaire can see it. The card is marked "Death"]

Kananga ... And one proper time.

[Samedi laughs as fear emerges on Solitaire's face]

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[Rosie screams upon finding the hat in her bedroom. Bond investigates and finds her petrified with terror]

James Bond Why, it's just a hat, darling... Evidently belonging to a small-headed man of limited means, who lost a fight with a chicken.

Rosie Carver It's a *warning!* GET IT OUT OF HERE!

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[Bond has just explained the first two Lover's Lessons to Solitaire]

Solitaire Is there time before we leave, for lesson number 3?

James Bond [undressing] Absolutely. There's no sense going out half-cocked.

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[Strutter is pursuing James Bond through Harlem]

Harold Strutter Can't miss him. It's like following a cue ball.

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[Bond picks "The Fool" out of Solitaire's deck of cards]

Solitaire You have found yourself.

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Solitaire [She has just beaten James at Gin Rummy] James, what are you doing?

James Bond Just testing an old adage: "Unlucky at cards..."

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Sheriff J.W. Pepper [Adam has been stopped for speeding] You gotta set of wheels that just won't quit, boy! If they's yours that is...

[Adam reaches for his gun but Sheriff Pepper draws his first]

Sheriff J.W. Pepper UH-UH! Spin around boy!

[points at the car]

Sheriff J.W. Pepper Ten fingers on the fender.

[Adam complies]

Sheriff J.W. Pepper Legs apart.

[kicks Adam's legs apart]

Sheriff J.W. Pepper I take it this ain't exactly your debut at this sort of thing. You picked the WRONG parish to haul ass through BOY! NOBODY cuts and runs on Sheriff J.W. PEPPER! And it's him who's speakin' by the way.

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Adam [in his car's CB radio] Bond ripped off one of our boats. He's headed for the Irish Bayou. The man that gets him stays alive! Now, MOVE, YOU MOTHERS!

[Adam's men on the other line scatter in all directions to their speedboats]

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Baron Samedi [Passing through the San Monique cemetery where nightly voodoo rituals are held, Bond and Solitaire find Baron Samendi playing his flute. Noticing the pair, he beams a welcoming smile at them] Good morning, boss!

James Bond Good morning.

Baron Samedi It's sure gonna be a beautiful day, isn't it?

[laughs menacingly]

Baron Samedi Yes sir, a beautiful day.

[as Solitaire and Bond move along, Samendi opens his flute--revealing it to be a communications device]

Baron Samedi They're heading for the hill.

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Adam You made one mistake back on that island, Bond. You took something that didn't belong to you. And you took it from a friend of Mr. Big's. That kind of mistake is TOUGH to bounce back from.

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James Bond [exchanging his gun with Whisper for a drink] Keep the change.

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Kananga Tee-Hee, on the first wrong answer from Miss Solitaire, you will snip the little finger of Mr. Bond's right hand. Starting with the second wrong answer, you will proceed to the more... VITAL... areas.

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James Bond [When Tee-Hee is unable to undo James Bond's wrist watch with his metal arm] Butter hook!

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James Bond Black Queen on the red King, Miss...

Solitaire Solitaire.

James Bond My name's Bond, James Bond.

Solitaire I know who you are, what you are, and why you've come. You have made a mistake. You will not succeed.

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[after Bond throws Tee-Hee Johnson out the window]

Solitaire Well, that wasn't very funny.

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Whisper [barely audible] Your champagne, sir.

James Bond What?

Whisper [slightly louder] Your champagne!

James Bond [takes a moment to realize what Whisper's saying] Oh! Just put it on the table over there, will you?

Whisper [whispering] Shall I open it?

James Bond Hmm?

Whisper [louder] Shall I open it?

James Bond Oh, no, I can take care of that.

[hands Whisper money]

Whisper Thank you.

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James Bond Harold Stutter, CIA, where were you when I didn't need you?

Harold Strutter Quite obvious you weren't getting out front, not even with that clever disguise you're wearing.

James Bond Huh?

Harold Strutter White face in Harlem. Good thinkin', Bond. Let's get outa here.

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Tee-Hee Mr. Bond, its good to see you again.

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Felix Leiter [on the phone] Yes, Mr. Bleeker... I KNOW you "can't just glue the wings back on." And now, Mr. Bleeker, I'm sure there's no need for name-calling.

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Sheriff J.W. Pepper [on Radio] Now you listen to me, trooper boy! We got a swamp full of Black Russians drivin' boats to beat the band down here.

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Mrs. Bell [Bond is about to attempt to drive the plane through the closing doors, while Mrs Bell looks on in horror] Holy shit!

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Hamilton Say, whose funeral is this?

New Orleans Assassin Yours, baby!

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[the police cars approach a slow-moving truck]

Sheriff J.W. Pepper Did you ever think of getting a driver's licence, boy?

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Cab driver I sure hope you make friends easy!

[Bond hands him the fare]

Cab driver Right on, brother!

Cab driver [on his CB radio] He's a-headin' on in.

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[to Bond]

Solitaire The cards have followed you for me.

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Quarrel My regards to Baron Samedi, man, right between the eyes.

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[Felix is on the phone with Mr. Bleeker after Bond totals one of his planes while running from Kananga's men at New Orleans Airport. Bond asks how Mrs. Bell, the old woman in the plane with him, is doing after the ordeal]

James Bond How is Mrs. Bell?

Felix Leiter [Covering the mouthpiece of the telephone] Intensive care, but she'll pull through.

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Mr. Big What shall we drink to, Mr. Bond?

Mr. Big [as the overweight Whisper approaches with drinks] Well, how about an earthquake?

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[during the tense interrogation scene over Solitaire]

Kananga Solitaire... my dear. I need you to listen to me very carefully. On the back of Mr. Bond's wristwatch, the registration number is 3266. Do I speak the truth?

[after a tense moment, Solitaire carefully lifts up a tarot card and looks at it]

Solitaire [nervous] You speak the truth.

[there is another long and tense pause as Kananga glares at Solitaire then back at Bond with his back turned. Not reacting or even blinking, Kananga gesters a command to Tee-Hee who removes his metal claw from Mr. Bond's right hand and also removes his restraints. A relieved Bond stands up from his chair as Kananga, still quiet, tosses his wristwatch back to Bond who puts it back on]

James Bond Well, if there's nothing else I guess I've laid your fears to rest. My compliments on a splended operation. There is one thing however that...

[suddenly and without warning Tee-Hee knocks out Bond with his prosthetic metal arm. Whisper then walks in from another room]

Kananga Whisper, take him to the farm.

[Tee-Hee walks out and Whisper, picking up the unconscious Bond, leaves the room, leaving Kananga and Solitaire alone]

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James Bond I'm surprised they didn't spot you, too. There's a most remarkable girl back there with a deck of cards.

Harold Strutter I saw those cards on the way up. Spades, James, every one. You were nailed the minute you left 74.

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Harold Strutter There's only supposed to be one man that can pull together that much Black muscle in this town. Call's himself Mr. Big.

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Solitaire I've lost it! The high priestess, his wife to the prince no longer of this world. The spiritual bridge to the secret church. Is my fate. By compelling me to earthly love, the gods themselves have taken away my powers.

James Bond Darling, I've got a small confession to make now. Try not to be too upset. The deck was slightly stacked to my favor.

Solitaire It makes no difference. The physical violation cannot be undone. If he finds out I've lost my path, he'll kill me.

[sobs]

James Bond Oh, now, come on, he'll have to find you first. Lover's Lesson Number One, we have no secrets. For example, I have a boat waiting. You can be on it.

[kisses her hand]

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James Bond Voodooland was just poppy fields. A simple matter of heroin smuggling.

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James Bond Are you sure this is the way to New Orleans?

Cab driver I don't know! But, it shore beats the hell outta Harlem, don't it? Well, hello, Jim! What's happenin', baby? Just ease back now, Jim. Relax! Mr. Big wants to see you.

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James Bond Miss Moneypenny, thank you.

Moneypenny Goodbye, James. Or, should I say--Ciao, bello!

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[Bond sees a possible weapon]

Black Man [to Bond] Keep your hands up, honky!

[to his pal]

Black Man What does he think this is? I'll blow his friggin' head off.

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James Bond [in bed with Miss Caruso, Bond is awakened by banging on the door] Not married by any chance, are you?

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Solitaire The first time in my life I feel like a complete woman. The slightest touch of your hand. I was always so afraid that a part of me would stay with the past. Though I know its no chance of that any longer. Just to be able to reach out and touch you.

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James Bond Thanks for everything, Felix. I'll see you tomorrow night at the 21 Club, and don't be late.

Felix Leiter I still don't see why you want to travel this way. I mean, what the hell can the two of you do on the train for 16 hours?

James Bond [as Solitaire smiles] Say goodbye to Felix, darling.

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Rosie Carver You're only my second mission, you know!

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Rosie Carver [apprehending Quarrel] Turn around slowly. Keep your hands up!

James Bond As I was saying, Quarrel, a lousy agent, but the compensation speaks for themselves. Rosie Carver, meet the man who shares my hairbrush. Quarrel Junior.

Rosie Carver [to Quarrel] I'm really sorry. I could have shot you.

Quarrel [takes the gun from her] You might have even killed me if you'd taken off the safety catch.

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Mr. Big What shall we drink to, Mr. Bond?

James Bond How about an earthquake?

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James Bond Room service, this is Mr. Bond, bungalow 12. I'd like a bottle of Bollinger, please. Slightly chilled. Two glasses.

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Rosie Carver Oh, I should have never gotten into any of this! I'm going to be completely useless to you.

James Bond Well, I'm sure we'll be able to lick you into shape.

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James Bond All I have to do before we leave is--what goes on back there in voodooland.

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James Bond Bourbon, no ice, please.

Felix Leiter Two sazeracs. Where's your sense of adventure James? This is New Orleans. Relax.

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Singer When you were young and your heart was an open book, Oh, you used say live and let live. But if this ever changin' world in which we live in makes you give in and cry, Say live and let die. Oh, say live and let die. Oh, say live and let die...

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Mr. Big Thanks for droppin' in, baby. Yeah, you one tough pig to nail down. You've been pickin' at me like some kind of maggot. First you go up to Harlem and kill one of the brothers. And that disturbs me. Well, then you go and steal this valuable young lady from my good friend Dr. Kananga. Now, Kanaga, he believes in all that card crap. I mean, he's mad.

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Kananga The question still stands, Mr. Bond, asked by the gentleman concerned: did you touch her?

James Bond Well, it's not the sort of question a gentleman answers.

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Kananga ... What did you call me--a WHOLESALER?

[laughs with scorn]

Kananga How old-hat can you get... selling heroin for money!

James Bond My apologies. I'm sure you simply GIVE it away.

Kananga Precisely, Mr. Bond. Two tons of it, to be exact. When entering into a vastly competitive field, one finds it advantageous to give away free samples. Man, woman, child, Black, White, Latino... I don't discriminate.

James Bond 4,000 pounds of heroin, with a street value of well over $1 billion, nationally distributed for free? That should make a certain network of families rather angry, wouldn't you say?

Kananga ANGRY? Why, my dear Mr. Bond, it'll drive them positively out of their minds... not to mention out of the business.

James Bond Quite ingenious. A sort of junkies' welfare system.

Kananga Well, merely until the number of addicts in this country has doubled, shall we say. Then I will proceed to market that acreage which you blundered into the other day. That heroin will be very expensive, indeed... leaving the phone company and myself the only two growing monopolies in this nation for years to come.

James Bond And I thought it was Solitaire that did the fortune-telling.

Kananga Let's hope, for BOTH your sakes, she still CAN.

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Sheriff J.W. Pepper I got it. You call my brother-in-law, Billy Bob. He's got the fastest boat in the whole damn river. Billy Bob shore 'nuff fix their ass! Call Billy Bob!

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James Bond Oh, an underground monorail--connected to the last refugee of a scoundrel, no doubt.

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Cab driver [to Bond, getting out of the cab in Harlem] Sure hope you make friends easy.

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[first lines]

UN Translator [translating for Hungarian delegate] ... was so ably pointed out by the Secretary General in his opening remarks. But--and I must emphasize this point--no formula can or will ever cover each case. For instance...

[audio feed is unplugged]

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Live and Let Die Movie Quotes