Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind 2004 - Movie Quotes

Joel [narration as Clementine acknowledges him by raising her coffee mug] Why do I fall in love with every woman I see who shows me the least bit of attention?

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[Mary reads to Dr. Mierzwiak out of "Bartlett's Familiar Quotations"; the lines are from Alexander Pope's poem "Eloisa to Abelard"]

Mary How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! / The world forgetting, by the world forgot / Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! / Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd.

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Clementine Kruczynski This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon.

Joel Barish I know.

Clementine Kruczynski What do we do?

Joel Barish Enjoy it.

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[last lines]

Joel Barish I can't see anything that I don't like about you.

Clementine Kruczynski But you will! But you will. You know, you will think of things. And I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me.

Joel Barish Okay.

Clementine Kruczynski [pauses] Okay.

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Joel [in the house on the beach] I have to go. I have to catch my ride.

Clementine So go!

Joel I did. I thought maybe you were a nut... but you were exciting.

Clementine I wish you had stayed.

Joel I wish I had stayed too. NOW I wish I had stayed. I wish I had done a lot of things. I wish I had... I wish I had stayed. I do.

Clementine Well I came back downstairs and you were gone!

Joel I walked out, I walked out the door!

Clementine Why?

Joel I don't know. I felt like a scared little kid, I was like... it was above my head, I don't know.

Clementine You were scared?

Joel Yeah. I thought you knew that about me. I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation, I think.

Clementine Was it something I said?

Joel Yeah... you said "so go." With such disdain, you know?

Clementine Oh, I'm sorry.

Joel It's okay.

[Walking Out]

Clementine Joely? What if you stayed this time?

Joel I walked out the door. There's no memory left.

Clementine Come back and make up a good-bye at least. Let's pretend we had one.

[Joel comes back. Clementine walks down the stairs towards him]

Clementine Bye Joel.

Joel I love you.

Clementine Meet me... in Montauk...

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Joel What a loss to spend that much time with someone, only to find out that she's a stranger.

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Joel I could die right now, Clem. I'm just... happy. I've never felt that before. I'm just exactly where I want to be.

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Joel Sand is overrated. It's just tiny, little rocks.

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Clementine Joely?

Joel Yeah Tangerine?

Clementine Am I ugly?

Joel Uh-uh.

Clementine When I was a kid, I thought I was. I can't believe I'm crying already. Sometimes I think people don't understand how lonely it is to be a kid, like you don't matter. So, I'm eight, and I have these toys, these dolls. My favorite is this ugly girl doll who I call Clementine, and I keep yelling at her, "You can't be ugly! Be pretty!" It's weird, like if I can transform her, I would magically change, too.

Joel [kisses Clementine] You're pretty.

Clementine Joely, don't ever leave me.

Joel You're pretty... you're pretty... pretty...

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[first lines]

Joel [voice over] random thoughts for Valentine's Day, 2004. Today is a holiday invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap.

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Joel Hi.

Clementine Hi. Didn't figure you'd show your face around me again. I guess I thought you were... humiliated. You did run away, after all.

Joel I just needed to see you.

Clementine Yeah?

Joel I'd like to, um... take you out, or something.

Clementine You're married.

Joel Not yet, not married. No, I'm not married.

Clementine Look man, I'm telling you right off the bat, I'm high-maintainance, so... I'm not gonna tip-toe around your marriage, or whatever it is you've got goin' there. If you wanna be with me, you're with me.

Joel Okay.

Clementine Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours.

Joel I remember that speech really well.

Clementine I had you pegged, didn't I?

Joel You had the whole human race pegged.

Clementine Hmm. Probably.

Joel I still thought you were gonna save my life... even after that.

Clementine Ohhh... I know.

Joel It would be different, if we could just give it another go-round.

Clementine Remember me. Try your best; maybe we can.

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Joel I had a really nice time last night.

Clementine Nice?

Joel I had the best fucking night of my entire fucking life, last night!

Clementine Thaaaat's better!

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Mary Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders.

[they click glasses]

Mary That's Nietzsche. Beyond Good and Evil. I found it in my Bartlett's.

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Clementine You don't tell me things, Joel. I'm an open book. I tell you everything, every damn, embarrassing thing.

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Joel I can't remember anything without you.

Clementine Aw, that's... very sweet, but try.

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Clementine Sometimes I don't think people realize how lonely it is to be a kid. Like... you don't matter.

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Clementine I wish you'd stayed.

Joel I wish I'd stayed, too. NOW I wish I'd stayed. I wish I'd done a lot of things. I wish I'd... I wish I'd stayed... I do.

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[Joel calls Clem on the telephone]

Clementine What took you so long?

Joel I just walked in.

Clementine Do you miss me?

Joel Oddly enough, I do!

Clementine You said "I do" - I guess that means we're married!

Joel I guess so!

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Joel Mierzwiak! Please let me keep this memory, just this one.

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Clementine You don't tell me things, Joel. I'm an open book. I tell you everything... every damn embarrassing thing. You don't trust me.

Joel Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating.

Clementine I don't do that. I want to know you.

[angry]

Clementine I don't constantly talk! Jesus! People have to share things, Joel...

Joel Mmmhhmmm...

Clementine That's what intimacy is. I'm really pissed that you said that to me!

Joel I'm sorry... I just, my life isn't that interesting.

Clementine I want to read some of those journals you're constantly scribbling in. What do you write in there if you don't have any thoughts or passions or... love?

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Clementine I'm Clementine. Can I... borrow a piece of your chicken?

Joel And then you just took it... without waiting for an answer. It was so intimate; like we were already lovers.

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Clementine Kruczynski You know me. I'm impulsive.

Joel Barish That's what I love about you.

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[as Joel and Clementine eat out, he thinks about the other glum-looking couples in the restaurant]

Joel Are we like those bored couples you feel sorry for in restaurants? Are we the dining dead? I can't stand the idea of us being a couple people think that about.

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Clementine Face it, Joely, you're freaked out because I was out late without you - and in your little wormy brain you're trying to figure out: did she fuck someone tonight?

Joel No, see Clem. I assume you fucked someone tonight. Isn't that how you get people to like you?

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Joel Barish I can't see anything I don't like about you.

Clementine But you will, you will think of things and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me.

Joel Barish Okay.

Clementine Okay.

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Clementine [whispers] Meet me... in Montauk...

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Patrick Baby, what's going on?

Clementine I don't know. I don't know! I'm lost! I'm scared! I feel like I'm disappearing. My skin's coming off! I'm getting old! Nothing makes any sense to me!

Patrick You're not getting old.

Clementine Nothing makes any sense! Nothing makes any sense!

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Clementine You're not a stalker, or anything, right?

Joel I'm not a stalker. YOU'RE the one that talked to me, remember?

Clementine That is the oldest trick in the stalker book.

Joel Really? There's a stalker book? Great, I gotta read that one.

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Clementine I don't need nice. I don't need myself to be it, and I don't need anybody else to be it at me.

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Joel If only I could meet someone new. I guess my chances of that happening are somewhat diminished, seeing that I'm incapable of making eye contact with a woman I don't know.

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Joel [on tape recording] And the whole thing with the hair - it's all bullshit.

Joel I really like your hair.

Clementine Thank you.

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Clementine Joel, hide me in your humiliation!

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Joel Look at it out here, it's all falling apart. I'm erasing you and I'm happy!

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Joel Barish Is there any risk of brain damage?

Dr. Mierzwiak Well, technically speaking, the operation is brain damage, but it's on a par with a night of heavy drinking, nothing you'll miss.

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Clementine Kruczynski Maybe you can find yourself a nice antique rocking chair to die in.

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Joel I think your name is magical.

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Clementine Kruczynski I apply my personality into paste.

Joel Barish Oh, I doubt that very much.

Clementine Kruczynski Well, you don't know me, so... you don't know, do you?

Joel Barish Sorry, I was... just trying to be nice.

Clementine Kruczynski Yeah... I got it...

[She hides behind the seat for a minute]

Clementine Kruczynski ... I'm Clementine, by the way.

Joel Barish I'm Joel.

Clementine Kruczynski Hi, Joel.

[they shake hands]

Clementine Kruczynski No jokes about my name... Nooo, you wouldn't do that. You were trying to be nice.

Joel Barish I don't know any jokes about your name.

Clementine Kruczynski Huckleberry Hound.

Joel Barish I don't know what that means.

Clementine Kruczynski Huckleberry Hound? What are you, nuts?

Joel Barish It's been suggested.

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Clementine Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours.

Joel I remember that speech really well.

Clementine I had you pegged, didn't I?

Joel You had the whole human race pegged.

Clementine Hmm. Probably.

Joel I still thought you were gonna save my life... even after that.

Clementine Ohhh... I know.

Joel It would be different, if we could just give it another go-round.

Clementine Remember me. Try your best; maybe we can.

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Clementine Wish me a happy Valentine's Day when you call. That'd be... nice!

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Joel Wait!

Clementine ...What?... What do you *want* Joel?

Joel I don't know! I want you wait for just a... a while.

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Clementine [Clementine has dyed her hair orange] You like? To match my sweatshirt, exactly.

Joel Ahaaahhhhh! Ohhhhhh! I like it!

Clementine You do?

Joel You look like a tangerine!

Clementine Hmmm, Clemen-teen the tangerine.

Joel Juicy 'n seedless.

Clementine I like that.

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Joel Can you hear me? I don't want this any more! I want to call it off!

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Clementine Let me show you something... come on...

Joel I think I heard a crack.

Clementine It's not gonna crack, or break, or... it's so thick!... Show me which constellations you know.

Joel Um... oh... I don't... know any.

Clementine Show me which ones you know!

Joel Okay... okay... oh! There's Osidius.

Clementine Where?

Joel Right there... see? Sort of a swoop and a cross, Osidius the Emphatic.

Clementine You're full of shit, right?

Joel Nope. Osidius, right there, swoop and cross.

Clementine Shut the fuck up!

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Joel My God, there's people coming out of your butt.

Clementine There is?

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Clementine It's a pretty name, though. It really is nice. It's, uh, it means "merciful". Right? Clemency?

Clementine Although it hardly fits. I'm a vindictive little bitch, truth be told.

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[4-year-old Joel watches his mother leave the room]

4-Year-Old Joel I really want her to pick me up. It's amazing how strong that desire is.

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Patrick You know that girl we did last week? The one with the potatoes?

Stan That girl? Yeah. That's this guy's girl.

Patrick Yeah.

Stan Right, was. Took care of that.

Patrick Well, uh, I kind of fell in love with her that night.

Stan What? You little fuck!

Patrick What?

Stan She was unconscious, man.

Patrick Well, she was beautiful, and... I stole a pair of her panties as well.

Stan Jesus!

Patrick What? It's not like... I mean they were clean and all.

Stan Don't tell me this stuff! I don't wanna hear this shit!

Patrick They were clean!

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Stan You looked happy. Happy with a secret.

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Carrie I saw you talking to someone pretty!

Rob Yeah, man, who was that?

Joel She was... just a girl.

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Joel It's goddamn freezing on this beach. Montauk in February, brilliant, Joel.

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Clementine Drink up, young man. It'll make the whole seduction part less repugnant.

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Joel He's seducing my girlfriend with MY words and MY things! He stole her underwear! Jesus Christ, he stole her underwear.

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Joel By morning, you'll be gone.

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Clementine My embarrassing admission is, I really like that you're nice right now. I mean, I can't tell from one moment to the next what I'm gonna like, but right now. - I'm glad you are.

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Clementine Look man, I'm telling you right off the bat I'm high maintenance. So I'm not gonna tip-toe around your marriage or whatever it is ya got goin' on there. If you wanna be with me, you're with me.

Joel Okay.

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Hollis Don't be a monster, Howard. Tell the poor girl. You can have him, sweetie. You did.

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Joel I love being bathed in the sink - such a feeling of security.

Clementine I've never seen you happier, baby Joel.

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Clementine I apply my personality in a paste.

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Clementine I would like you to call me. Would you do that? I'd like it.

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[Clementine comes in drunk and collapses on the couch. Joel has been sitting up and reading; his voice is angry]

Joel It's 3 o'clock.

Clementine I kinda sorta wrecked your car.

Joel You were driving drunk. It's pathetic.

Clementine I was a little tipsy. Don't call me pathetic.

Joel Well, it *is* pathetic. And it's fucking irresponsible. You could've killed somebody. I don't know, maybe you did kill somebody. Should we turn on the news and see? Should I check the grille to see if there's children or small animals?

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Clementine You married?

Joel No.

Clementine Let's move into this neighborhood!

Joel I do sorta live with someone though.

Clementine Male or female?

Joel What? Female... female...

Clementine At least I'm not barking up the wrong tree!

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[Clementine is trying to comfort baby Joel by showing him her crotch]

Clementine My crotch is still here, just as you remembered it.

Joel Yuck!

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Clementine [Clem arrives home to see Patrick waiting for her] Patrick, get the fuck awa...

Patrick -What's wrong?

Clementine Get the fuck away from me!

Patrick Do you wanna talk about it?

Clementine NO! Get the fuck away!

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[Clementine and Joel have broken into an empty house on the Montauk beach]

Joel Barish I think we should go.

Clementine Kruczynski No, it's our house! Just for tonight...

[she looks at an envelope on the counter]

Clementine Kruczynski ... we are David and Ruth Laskin. Which one do you want to be? I prefer to be Ruth, but I'm flexible.

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Clementine What are you, NUTS?

Joel It's been suggested.

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Mary I wanted to understand as much as I could about the procedure as possible... I think it's important for my job to understand the inner workings of the work that we do, well not that I do, but the work that is done by people where I also work, the work of my colleagues.

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Frank McRomance. Want some fries with that shake?

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[looking at the letter from Lacuna, Inc]

Joel What is it?

Rob I don't know, it's a place that does a thing...

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Frank The only Valentine's Day cards I get are from my mother. How pathetic is that?

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[Hammering noises in the background]

Rob Fuck!

Carrie Rob, give it a rest.

Rob Carrie, I am making a birdhouse.

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Joel Barish Pages ripped out. Don't remember doing that. It appears this is my first entry in two years.

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Clementine You're really nice... God, I have to stop saying that!

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Patrick Mary hates me. I've never been popular with the ladies.

Stan Maybe if you stopped stealing their panties.

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Howard You want to empty your home, you want to empty your life, of Clementine.

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[Mary is stoned, and Joel has just gone off the map]

Mary He could wake up all half-baked and, gooey and, and half-baked... mmm, that sounds sooo good. I'm hungry.

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Clementine I'm gonna marry you... I know it!

Joel Ummm... okay...

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[Patrick knocks on Joel's car window while parked in front of Clem's apartment]

Joel Yes?

Patrick Can I help you?

Joel What do you mean?

Patrick Can I help you with something?

Joel No.

Patrick What are you doing here?

Joel I'm not really sure what you're asking.

Patrick Oh, thanks...

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Clementine Ouch. Ow my ass.

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Joel I don't see anything I don't like about you.

Clementine But you will! But you will, and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped, because that's what happens with me.

Joel Okay.

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Joel I'm so ashamed.

Clementine It's okay, you're a little kid.

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[Clementine is leading Joel out onto the frozen Charles River]

Joel I don't know. What if it breaks?

Clementine What if? Do you really care right now?

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Dr. Mierzwiak Our files are confidential, Mr. Barish, so we can't show you any evidence. Suffice it to say Miss Kruczynski was not happy and she wanted to move on. We provide that possibility.

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Clementine My name is Clementine Kruczynski. I'm here to erase Joel Barish. He's boring. Is that enough reason to erase someone?

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Stan He's off the map! He's off the map.

Mary Where?

Stan I don't know where. What do you mean? I don't know where. This is bad. This is very, very bad news.

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Joel This is working like gangbusters.

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Clementine HEY! Lets go out dancing! You want to go out to Montauk with me?

Patrick Montauk?

Clementine Yeah, NO! Come out to Boston with me!

Patrick Sure, we can go next weekend.

Clementine NO! Now! Now! I have to go see the frozen Charles NOW!

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Clementine Look, I'm sorry if I came off a little nutso, I'm not really.

Joel That's okay, I really didn't think you were.

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Rob It's not about us, it's about Joel, who's an adult, okay, not "Momma Carrie's kid"!

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Joel Why would she do that to me?

Rob Hey does anybody want a joint?

Carrie Oh, God, Rob, give it a rest.

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Howard [overlapping speech] We'll dispose of these mementos when we're done here, that way you won't be confused by their unexplainable presence in your home.

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Clementine I'm fucking crawling out of my skin. I should've left you at the flea market.

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Carrie You're stoned and you're driving.

Rob Pot balances me out. Pot brings me up. That's I smoke it if I'm going to be drinking.

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Dr. Mierzwiak Now, the, uh... the first thing we need you to do, Mr. Barish, is to go home... and collect everything you own that has some association with Clementine. Anything. And we'll use these items to create a map of Clementine in your brain. Okay? So we'll need, uh, uh, photos, clothing, gifts, books she may have bought you, CDs you may have bought together, journal entries. We want to empty your home... We want to empty your life of Clementine. And after the mapping is done, our technicians will do the erasing in your home tonight. That way, when you awake in the morning, you'll find yourself in your own bed as if nothing had happened... a new life awaiting you.

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Joel Don't call me Antoine. My name is Wally.

Clementine Yes, I know, but how can a woman love a man with a name like Wally?

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Carrie She's impulsive. She decided to erase you almost as a lark.

Joel A lark.

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Mary That was beautiful to watch, Howard. Like a surgeon or a concert pianist.

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Rob The plane crashed. I didn't crash the plane.

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Clementine I'm always anxious, thinking I'm not living my life to the fullest, taking advantage of every possibility, making sure I'm not wasting one second of the little time I have.

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Joel's Mother Joel, honey, I have a surprise... I just... Oh, um... Uh, you know what, honey? I'm just gonna ask you in the morning. Good night, sweetheart.

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Joel You know, my life isn't that interesting. I go to work, I come home. Don't know what to say. You should read my journal. I mean, it's just - blank.

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Stan That's what they called themselves. Like, "The Clash". The only band that mattered. They called themselves that for a reason.

Mary It's amazing, isn't it?

Stan Like social justice. Yeah, it's totally incredible.

Mary What Howard gives to the world.

Stan Yeeeeah...

Mary To let people begin again. It's beautiful. You look at a baby, and it's so pure and so free and so clean. And adults are, like, this mess of sadness and phobias. And Howard just makes it all go away.

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Joel You seem nice, so...

Clementine Oh, now I'm nice? Oh, God. Don't you know any other adjectives?

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Clementine This is sort of warped.

Joel I'm scared. I want my mommy!

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Joel Where's the self-help section?

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Clementine Joel, you're like an old lady or something.

Joel What are you like? A wino?

Clementine A wino? Jesus, are you from the '50s or something? A wino?

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Clementine This is a memory of me, the way you wanted to have sex on the couch after you looked down at my crotch.

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Howard I'm part of your imagination too, Joel. How can I help you from there? Uh, I'm inside your head too. I'm you!

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Joel There's someone here. He stole your underwear.

Clementine I don't see anyone.

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Joel "Miss Kruczynski was not happy and wanted to move on. We provide that possibility." What the hell is that? Nicest guy she ever went out with.

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Mary Don't. Wait, wait, wait, wait! No. I'm sorry, Doctor. He just barged right in here.

Joel Okay. I want it done. Now.

Mary I told him pre-Valentine's Day is our busy time.

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Clementine I'd make a fucking good mother! I love children, I'm creative and smart, and I'd make a fucking great mother!

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Joel Clem, let me drive you home.

Clementine Get out of my face, faggot!

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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Movie Quotes