Phil
Yeah, Sport, I know there's a blizzard. When are the long-distance lines gonna be repaired? Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today! Hello?
[dial tone]
Phil
Hello?
[hangs up the phone. He breaks a pencil and puts one half in front of the clock and the other on top]
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
1
🥱
Phil
Do you ever have déjà vu, Mrs. Lancaster?
Mrs. Lancaster
I don't think so, but I could check with the kitchen.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?
Ralph
That about sums it up for me.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
[talking to a sleeping Rita]
I think you're the kindest, sweetest, prettiest person I've ever met in my life. I've never seen anyone that's nicer to people than you are. The first time I saw you... something happened to me. I never told you but... I knew that I wanted to hold you as hard as I could. I don't deserve someone like you. But if I ever could, I swear I would love you for the rest of my life.
Rita
Did you say something?
Phil
Good night.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
D.J. #1
Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today.
D.J. #2
It's coooold out there every day. What is this, Miami Beach?
D.J. #1
Not hardly. And you know, you can expect hazardous travel later today with that, you know, that, uh, that blizzard thing.
D.J. #2
[mockingly]
That blizzard - thing. That blizzard - thing. Oh, well, here's the report! The National Weather Service is calling for a "big blizzard thing!"
D.J. #1
Yessss, they are. But you know, there's another reason why today is especially exciting.
D.J. #2
Especially cold!
D.J. #1
Especially cold, okay, but the big question on everybody's lips...
D.J. #2
On their chapped lips...
D.J. #1
On their chapped lips, right: Do ya think Phil is gonna come out and see his shadow?
D.J. #2
Punxsutawney Phil!
D.J. #1
That's right, woodchuck-chuckers - it's...
D.J. #1
D.J. #1, D.J. #2: [in unison] GROUNDHOG DAY!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
You want a prediction about the weather, you're asking the wrong Phil. I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather. I, for one, am very grateful to have been here. From Punxsutawney, this is Phil Connors. So long.
Rita
Okay, want to try it again without the sarcasm?
Phil
We got it. I'm out of here.
Larry
Prima donnas.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope. Yet we know that winter is just another step in the cycle of life. But standing here among the people of Punxsutawney and basking in the warmth of their hearths and hearts, I couldn't imagine a better fate than a long and lustrous winter. From Punxsutawney, it's Phil Connors. So long.
[applause]
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Ned
[recognizes Phil and runs up to him on the street]
Phil? Hey, Phil? Phil! Phil Connors? Phil Connors, I thought that was you!
[Starts to walk away]
Ned
Hey, hey! Now, don't you tell me you don't remember me because I sure as heckfire remember you.
Ned
Ned...
[takes off his hat revealing his completely bald head]
Ned
Ryerson. "Needlenose Ned"? "Ned the Head"? C'mon, buddy. Case Western High. Ned Ryerson: I did the whistling belly-button trick at the high school talent show? Bing! Ned Ryerson: got the shingles real bad senior year, almost didn't graduate? Bing, again. Ned Ryerson: I dated your sister Mary Pat a couple times until you told me not to anymore? Well?
Ned
Bing!
Phil
Bing. So did you turn pro with that bellybutton thing, Ned?
Ned
No, Phil, I sell insurance.
Ned
Do you have life insurance? Because if you do you could always use a little more. Am I right or am I right or am I right? Right? Right?
Phil
[feigning politeness and failing]
Ned, I'd love to stand here and talk with you... but I'm not going to. See you.
[does so, to Phil's annoyance]
Ned
See, whenever I see an opportunity, I charge it like a bull. "Ned the Bull", that's me now. You know, I have friends who live and die by the actuarial tables and I say, "Hey! It's all one big crap-shoot anywho!" Tell me, have you ever heard of single premium life because I think that could really be the ticket for you.
[stops Phil in admiration]
Ned
Oh, God! It is so good to see you! Tell me, what are you doing for dinner?
Phil
Something else. It's been great seeing you, "Needlehead". Take care.
[Phil steps off the curb into a deep, watery puddle. Ned laughs obnoxiously]
Ned
Whoa-ho-ho! Watch out for that first step! It's a doozy!
[as Ned continues to cackle, Phil stomps away]
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil Connors
This is pitiful. A thousand people freezing their butts off waiting to worship a rat. What a hype. Groundhog Day used to mean something in this town. They used to pull the hog out, and they used to eat it. You're hypocrites, all of you!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[Phil Connors is stopped by the police after some crazy driving]
Phil
Yeah, three cheeseburgers, two large fries, two chocolate shakes and one large coke.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters.
[Ralph and Gus snort]
Phil
*That* was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get *that* day over, and over, and over...
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Rita
[as Phil kisses Rita over and over discovering that he has finally passed Groundhog Day]
Phil, why weren't you like this last night? You just fell asleep.
Phil
It was the end of a very long day.
[looks into her eyes]
Phil
Is there anything I can do for you today?
Rita
I'm sure I can think of something.
[they kiss]
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
It's the same thing your whole life: "Clean up your room. Stand up straight. Pick up your feet. Take it like a man. Be nice to your sister. Don't mix beer and wine, ever." Oh yeah: "Don't drive on the railroad track."
Gus
Well, Phil, that's one I happen to agree with.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Rita
This day was perfect. You couldn't have planned a day like this.
Phil
Well, you can. It just takes an awful lot of work.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
I know all about you. You like producing, but you hope for more than Channel 9 Pittsburgh.
Rita
Well, everyone knows that!
Phil
You like boats, but not the ocean. You go to a lake in the summer with your family up in the mountains. There's a long wooden dock and a boathouse with boards missing from the roof, and a place you used to crawl underneath to be alone. You're a sucker for French poetry and rhinestones. You're very generous. You're kind to strangers and children, and when you stand in the snow you look like an angel.
Phil
I told you. I wake up every day, right here, right in Punxsutawney, and it's always February 2nd, and there's nothing I can do about it.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[Driving down the railroad tracks toward an approaching train]
Phil
I'm betting he's going to swerve first.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Piano Teacher
Not bad... Mr. Connors, you say this is your first lesson?
Phil
Yes, but my father was a piano *mover*, so...
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Rita
It's beautiful. I don't know what to say.
Phil
I do. Whatever happens tomorrow, or for the rest of my life, I'm happy now... because I love you.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Rita
I'm sorry, what was that again?
Phil
I'm a god.
Rita
You're God?
Phil
I'm *a* god, I'm not *the* God... I don't think.
Rita
Because you survived a car wreck?
Doris the Waitress
You folks ready to order?
Phil
I didn't just survive a wreck. I wasn't just blown up yesterday. I have been stabbed, shot, poisoned, frozen, hung, electrocuted, and burned.
Rita
Oh, really?
Phil
Every morning, I wake up with out a scratch on me, not a dent in the fender. I am an immortal!
Doris the Waitress
Special today is blueberry waffles...
Rita
Why are you telling me this?
Phil
Because I want you to believe in me.
Rita
You're not a god--you can take my word for it, this is twelve years of Catholic school talking!
Doris the Waitress
I can come back if you're not ready.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Felix's Wife
Dr. Connors. I want to thank you for fixing Felix's back. He can even help around the house again.
Phil
I'm sorry to hear that, Felix.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
Once again, the eyes of the nation have turned here to this... tiny village in Western Pennsylvania. Blah, blah, blah, blah! There is no way that this winter is *ever* going to end as long as this groundhog keeps seeing his shadow. I don't see any other way out. He's gotta be stopped. And I have to stop him.
Larry
Real good, Phil. Real good.
[to Rita]
Larry
He's out of his gourd!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
Come on, *all* the long distance lines are down? What about the satellite? Is it snowing in space? Don't you have some kind of a line that you keep open for emergencies or for celebrities? I'm both. I'm a celebrity in an emergency. Can you patch me through on that line please?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
So, did you sleep OK without me? You tossed and turned, didn't you?
Rita
You're incredible.
Phil
Who told you?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[after Phil has driven the truck he has stolen off a cliff to kill both himself and Punxsutawney Phil]
Larry
He... might be okay.
[the truck explodes in a fireball]
Larry
Well, no. Probably not now.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil Connors
Excuse me, where is everybody going?
Fan on Street
To Gobbler's Knob. It's Groundhog Day.
Phil Connors
It's still just once a year, isn't it?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[a gust of wind blows]
Phil
A dog barks.
[a dog barks in the distance]
Phil
Cue the truck.
[an armored truck drives up]
Phil
Exit Herman. Walk out into the bank.
[Herman gets out of the armored truck and walks into the bank]
Phil
Exit Felix, and stand there with a not-so-bright look on your face.
[Felix gets out of truck and stands there]
Phil
All right, Doris, come on. Hey, fix your bra, honey. That's better.
Doris the Waitress
Hey, Felix!
Phil
"Felix!" "How you doing, Doris?" "Can I have a roll of quarters?"
[Phil stands up and begins to walk towards the armored car]
Phil
10, 9, 8, car...
[a car drives in front of Phil]
Phil
... 6, 5, quarters...
[roll of quarters breaks open, hitting the ground]
Phil
... 3, 2...
[Phil reaches over Felix and takes a bag of money out of the back of the armored truck]
Herman
Felix, did I bring out two bags or one?
Felix
I don't know.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Man in Hallway
Think it'll be an early spring?
Phil
Winter, slumbering in the open air, wears on its smiling face a dream... of spring. Ciao.
Man in Hallway
[Absolutely chuffed]
Ciao.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Ned
Phil, this is the best day of my life.
Phil
Mine too.
Rita
Mine too.
Ned
Where are we going?
Rita
Oh, let's not spoil it!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
Ned, I would love to stay here and talk with you... but I'm not going to.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
Hey commander, what's going on?
State Trooper
There's nothing going on. We're closing the road. Big blizzard moving in.
Phil
What blizzard? It's a couple of flakes.
State Trooper
Don't you listen to the weather? We got a major storm here.
Phil
I make the weather! All of this moisture coming up out of the Gulf is gonna push off to the east and hit Altoona.
State Trooper
Pal, you got that moisture on your head. Now you can go back to Punxsutawney, or you can go ahead and freeze to death. It's your choice. So what's it gonna be?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[Waking after a night of reading poetry and only chaste sleep with Rita, Phil jumps out of bed, determined to show himself as a new and likable man. He gives a wad of cash to the Old Man beggar and shows up early for the photo shoot, carrying a tray of coffees just the way that Rita and Larry like them, and with Larry's favorite pastry]
Phil
Who wants coffee? Get it while it's hot!
Phil
Pastry?
[Phil offers the tray to Rita, who looks enticed, but says:]
Rita
No. We're just setting up.
Phil
Pastry, Larry? Take your pick.
Larry
Well, thanks, Phil. Raspberry, great.
Phil
Say, I was just talking with Buster Green, he's the head groundhog honcho. And he said, if we set up over here
[he points his thumb over his shoulder]
Phil
, we might get a better shot. What do you think?
[Rita is still surprised that Phil Connors is being so thoughtful and helpful]
Rita
Sounds good.
Phil
Larry, what do you think?
[It is obvious that Phil has never asked for Larry's opinion in his life, and Larry grins]
Larry
Yeah. Let's go for it.
Phil
Maybe we'll get lucky. Let me give you a hand with the heavy stuff.
[Phil takes the backpack and news-camera]
Larry
Uh...
Phil
No, no, you got your coffee.
[They start to walk to the "better" spot]
Phil
We never talk, Larry. Do you have kids?
[Rita stares in astonishment, then slowly follows them]
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Rita
Why would anybody steal a groundhog?
Larry
I can probably think of a couple of reasons... pervert.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
1
Phil
Well maybe the *real* God uses tricks, you know? Maybe He's not omnipotent. He's just been around so long He knows everything.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
I killed myself so many times I don't even exist anymore.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
You know, people like blood sausage, too. People are morons.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
Well, it's Groundhog Day... again...
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Mrs. Lancaster
Did you sleep well, Mr. Connors?
Phil
I slept alone, Mrs. Lancaster.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Psychiatrist
That's an unusual problem, Mr. Connors. Uh, Most of my work is with couples, families. I have an alcoholic now.
Phil
Well you went to college, right? I mean, it wasn't veterinary psychology, was it? Didn't you take some kind of course that covered this stuff?
Psychiatrist
Yeah, sort of, I guess. Uh, abnormal psychology.
Phil
So, what do I do?
Psychiatrist
I think we should meet again. How's tomorrow for you?
[Phil begins punching himself in the head through pillow]
Psychiatrist
Is that not good?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[last lines]
Phil
It's so beautiful!... Let's live here.
[he kisses Rita]
Phil
We'll rent, to start.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
I am not making it up. I am asking you for help.
Rita
Okay, what do you want me to do?
Phil
I don't know. You're a producer. Come up with something.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Nurse
Sometimes, people just die.
Phil
Not today.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Man in Hallway
Morning. Off to see the groundhog?
Phil
Yeah.
Man in Hallway
Think it'll be an early spring?
Phil
Didn't we do this yesterday?
Man in Hallway
I don't know what you mean.
Man in Hallway
It's February 2nd. Groundhog Day.
Phil
Yeah. I'm sorry. You know, I thought it was yesterday.
[laughs]
Man in Hallway
Oh.
[chuckles nervously]
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
Nancy: she works in the dress shop and makes noises like a chipmunk when she gets *real* excited.
Nancy
Hey!
Phil
It's true.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[first lines]
Phil
Somebody asked me today, "Phil, if you could be anywhere in the world, where would you like to be?" And I said to him, "Prob'ly right here - Elko, Nevada, our nation's high at 79 today." Out in California, they're gonna have some warm weather tomorrow, gang wars, and some *very* overpriced real estate. Up in the Pacific Northwest, as you can see, they're gonna have some very, very tall trees.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Rita
Three hundred and thirty-nine dollars and eighty-eight cents!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Rita
Believe it or not, I studied nineteenth-century French poetry.
Phil
La fille que j'aimera Sera comme bon vin Qui se bonifiera Un peux chaques matin
Rita
You speak French?
Phil
Oui.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Rita
I like to see a man of advancing years throwing caution to the wind. It's inspiring in a way.
Phil
My years are not advancing as fast as you might think.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[to Rita about Phil]
Larry
Did he actually call himself "the talent"?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Rita
You're not a god. You can take my word for it; this is twelve years of Catholic school talking.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[Phil Connors drives (because Ralph and Gus are drunk) right through a mailbox]
Gus
Hey Phil, if we wanted to hit mailboxes we could let Ralph drive.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Gus
Phil? Like the groundhog Phil?
Phil
Yeah, like the groundhog Phil.
Gus
Look out for your shadow there, buddy.
Phil
Morons, your bus is leaving.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
So what do you want out of life anyway?
Rita
I guess I want what everybody wants. You know, career, love, marriage, children.
Phil
Are you seeing anyone?
Rita
I think this is getting too personal. I don't think I'm ready to share this with you.
[Phil nods]
Rita
How about you? What do you want?
Phil
What I really want is someone like you.
Phil
Well, why not? What are you looking for? Who is your perfect guy?
Phil
Well, first of all, he's too humble to know he's perfect.
Phil
That's me.
Rita
He's intelligent, supportive, funny...
Phil
Intelligent, supportive, funny... me, me, me...
Rita
He's romantic and courageous...
Phil
Me also...
Rita
He's got a good body, but he doesn't have to look in the mirror every two minutes.
Phil
I have a great body, and sometimes I go months without looking.
Rita
He's kind and sensitive and gentle, he's not afraid to cry in front of me...
Phil
This is a man we're talking about, right?
Rita
He likes animals and children and he'll change poopy diapers...
Phil
Does he have to use the word 'poopy'?
Rita
Oh, and he plays an instrument, and he loves his mother.
Phil
I am really close on this one... really, really close.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Ned
Do you have life insurance, Phil? Because if you do, you could always use a little more, right? I mean, who couldn't? But you wanna know something? I got the feeling...
[whistles]
Ned
... you ain't got any. Am I right or am I right? Or am I right? Am I right?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
I don't suppose there's any chance of a espresso or cappuccino?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
Uh, Mrs. Lancaster, uh, was anybody looking for me here this morning? Perhaps a state official? Maybe a blue hat, gun, nightstick?
Mrs. Lancaster
Oh, no, no one like that. Will there be?
Phil
Apparently not.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
I think people place too much emphasis on their careers. I wish we could all live in the mountains at high altitude. That's where I see myself in five years. How about you?
Rita
Oh, I agree. I just like to go with the flow. See where it leads me.
Phil
Well, it's led you here.
Rita
Mm hmm. Of course it's about a million miles from where I started out in college.
Phil
You weren't in broadcasting or journalism?
Rita
Uh unh. Believe it or not, I studied 19th-century French poetry.
Phil
[laughs]
What a waste of time! I mean, for someone else that would be an incredible waste of time. It's so bold of you to choose that. It's incredible; you must have been a very very strong person.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
I'm not going to live by their rules anymore.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[to Nancy, about being a photojournalist]
Larry
People just don't understand what is involved in this. This is an art-form! You know, I think that most people just think that I hold a camera and point at stuff, but there is a *heck* of a lot more to it than just that.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
[holds up his drink for the bartender]
Could I have one more of these with some booze in it please?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Rita
It's groundhog time.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Rita
You're missin' all the fun! These people are great! Some of them have been partyin' all night long! They sing songs 'till they get too cold and then they go sit by the fire and they get warm, and then they come back and sing some more!
Phil
Yeah, they're hicks, Rita!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[upon seeing its Groundhog Day again]
Phil
What the hell?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
For your information, Hairdo, there is a major network interested in me.
Larry
Yeah, that would be the Home Shopping Network.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
Yo, mom. Isn't there any hot water?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[repeated line]
Larry
Prima Donnas.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Ned
I got friends who live and die by the actuarial tables.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
Morons, your bus is leaving.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Buster Green
If you gotta shoot, aim high. I don't wanna hit the groundhog.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Rita
The wretch, concentred all in self, living, shall forfeit fair renown, and doubly dying, shall go down, to the vile dust from whence he sprung - unwept, unhonored, and unsung. Sir Walter Scott.
Rita
What, you don't like poetry?
Phil
I love poetry. I just thought that was Willard Scott.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
[Does a double take at Larry]
Wow! Looking *foxy* tonight man! Hey, is your troop gonna be selling cookies again this year?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
Commander, what's going on?
Groundhog Official
There's nothing going on. We're closing the road. Big blizzard moving in.
Phil
What blizzard? It's a couple flakes.
Groundhog Official
Don't you listen to the weather? We got a major storm here.
Phil
I make the weather! All this moisture coming up out of the Gulf will push off to the east and hit Altoona.
Groundhog Official
Pal, you got that moisture on your head. You can go back to Punxsutawney or you can freeze to death. It's your choice. What's it gonna be?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
Can you keep a secret Larry? I'm probably leaving PBH. So this will be the last time we do the Groundhog festival together.
Larry
I don't understand what's so wrong with the Groundhog festival. You know when I was in San Diego, I had to cover the swallows returning to Capistrano six years in a row.
Phil
Someday someone's gonna' see me interviewing a groundhog and think I don't have a future.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Elderly Lady whose flat tire Phil fixed
He's the fastest jack in Jefferson County!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
Can I have another one of these with some booze in it?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[repeated line]
Diner Patron
Just put that anywhere, pal! Yeah! Good save!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank Pina Coladis. At sunset we made love like sea otters. That was a pretty good day! Why couldn't I get that day, over and over?
Gus
You know, some guys would look at this glass and say - "You know, that glass is half empty; Other guys would say the glass is half full." - I take you as a glass half empty kind 0f guy, am I right?
Phil
What would you do, If you were stuck in one place, and every day was exactly the same, and nothing you could say, and nothing you could do, mattered?
Ralph
That about sums it up for me!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Gus
[waiter drops a tray of dishes]
Real nice. Just put that anywhere, pal. Yeah.
[laughs]
Ralph
Good save!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Rita
I could never love someone like you. You only love yourself.
Phil
That's not true. I don't even like myself.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Ned
Watch out for that first step, it's a doozie
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
You think I'm acting like this because I'm egocentric?
Rita
I know you're egocentric. It's your defining characteristic.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Rita
Are you looking for a date for the weekend?
Phil
I'm just interested in you. What do you want? What do you like? What do you think about? What kind of men are you interested in? What do you do for fun?
Rita
Is this for real, or are you trying to make me look like a fool?
Phil
I'm just trying to talk like normal people talk. Isn't this how they talk?
🧡
1
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
She's fun, but not my kind of fun.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
Small-town people are more real, more down-to-earth.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Phil
[after catching a boy who fell from a tree]
What do you say? What do you say? What do you say? You little brat. You have never thanked me! I'll see you tomorrow! Maybe.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
