Bruce Almighty Movie Quotes
God
Parting your soup is not a miracle, Bruce. It's a magic trick. A single mom who's working two jobs and still finds time to take her kid to soccer practice, that's a miracle. A teenager who says "no" to drugs and "yes" to an education, that's a miracle. People want me to do everything for them. But what they don't realize is THEY have the power. You want to see a miracle, son? Be the miracle.
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Bruce
B-E-A-utiful.
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God
Grace. You want her back?
Bruce
No. I want her to be happy, no matter what that means. I want her to find someone who will treat her with all the love she deserved from me. I want her to meet someone who will see her always as I do now, through Your eyes.
God
Now THAT'S a prayer.
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Bruce
[breaking out of a freeze] Hi, Susan!
Grace
Oh, thank you, God.
Bruce
Bruce Nolan here, aboard the Maid of the Mist in fabulous Niagara Falls, New York. First off, let me just add another congratulations to Evan Backstabber - pardon me, Bastard. Baxter, rather. It is good to see what someone with real talent can do when great opportunities are given to them instead of me. Anyway, I'm here with Katherine Hepburn's mom. Tell me, why did you toss the blue heart of the ocean jewel over the railing of the Titanic? Did you feel bad at all letting Leo DiCaprio drown, while you were safe floating on the big door? Could you have taken turns, or were you just too afraid to freeze your big fat ass off?
[Grace gasps in disbelief]
Bruce
Hmm. I guess that's how life is, isn't it? Some people are drenched, freezing to death, on a stupid boat, with a stupid hat, while others are in a comfy news studio, sucking up all the glory.
[mashes and discards stupid umbrella hat]
Bruce
Oh, well. No big deal.
Control Booth Operator
Oh boy.
Bruce
Oh, look! It's the owner of the Maid of the Mist. Let's have a talk with him, shall we? Come on in here, Bill...
Bill, Ferry Owner
That's all right.
Bruce
No, no, no, no. No, no. Come on, let's have a talk.
Grace
Come on. What are you doing?
Bruce
Bill, you've been running the Maid of the Mist for 23 years now. Tell me, why do you think I didn't get the anchor job?
Bill, Ferry Owner
Hey, man, I don't want any problems...
Bruce
[messes his hair] Is it my hair, Bill? Are my teeth not white enough? Or, like the great falls, is the bedrock of my life eroding beneath me?
[sticking his face into the camera]
Bruce
Eroding, eeeeroding, eeeeerodding.
Jack
Cut the feed. Cut to black.
Control Booth Operator
I'm on it.
Bruce
I'm Bruce Nolan for Eyewitness News. Back to you...
[makes a fist gesture]
Bruce
fuckers.
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God
No matter how filthy something gets, you can always clean it right up.
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God
[reading from a manuscript of what Bruce said the previous evening]
"The gloves are off, God.", "God has taken my bird and my bush.", "God is a mean kid with a magnifying glass.", "Smite me, O Mighty Smiter." Now, I'm not much for blasphemy, but that last one made me laugh.
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Bruce
Lord, feed the hungry, and bring peace to all of mankind. How's that?
God
Great... If you wanna be Miss America.
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Grace
I've got a very rare blood type. I'm AB positive.
Bruce
Well I'm IB positive. I be positive they ain't touching me with no needle.
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Grace
Debbie won the lottery.
Bruce
Oh, yeah? You're kidding.
Grace
But I guess so did 400,000 other people, so she only won, like, $17.
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[Bruce sticks his two index fingers out, and moves them apart, causing all the cars to automatically pull over, leaving the way clear]
Bruce
High ho silver, away!
[Bruce drives down the road at high speed]
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God
[walking across the lake with Bruce]
There are only 2 rules. You can't tell anybody you're God, believe me you don't want that kind of attention, and you can't mess with free will.
Bruce
Can I ask why?
God
Yes, you can! That's the beauty of it!
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Bruce
Okay, prayer beads, 'God, please give me a sign.'
[Truck with Danger signs passes him]
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Bruce
[to God, after Grace breaks up with him]
How do you make someone love you without affecting Free Will?
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Bruce
Bruce giveth and Bruce taketh away. Don't like it? Megabyte me.
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Bruce
There were so many. I just gave them all what they want.
God
Yeah. But since when does anyone have a clue about what they want?
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[repeated lines]
Bruce
And that's the way the cookie crumbles.
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God
I'm the one. Creator of the heavens and Earth. Alpha and Omega.
Bruce
Oh, I see where this is going.
God
Bruce... I'm God.
Bruce
Bingo! Yahtzee! Is that your final answer? Our survey says... God! Bing bing bing bing bing! Well, it was nice to meet you, God. Thank you for the Grand Canyon, and good luck with the Apocalypse. Oh, and by the way, you SUCK!
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Bruce
Where are you going?
God
I'm taking a vacation.
Bruce
God doesn't take vacations. Does he? Do... ye?
God
Did you ever hear of the Dark Ages? Besides, I'm covered. You can clear everything up in five minutes, if you want to. Right?
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Bruce
Maybe I should be more like Evan.
Jack
You don't want to be like Evan, Evan's an asshole.
Bruce
Well, I can be an asshole.
Jack
No, Bruce. You can't.
[Bruce whacks Jack's sandwich out of his hands]
Jack
You going to pick that up?
Bruce
Yeah, I'm sorry.
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God
[referring to the seven fingers on Bruce's right hand]
I did the same thing to Gandhi, he didn't eat for three weeks.
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Homeless Man
[last "sign"; holding up]
"ARMAGEDON OUTA HERE"
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Bruce
Is this heaven?
God
No, this is Mount Everest. You should flip on the Discovery Channel from time to time. But I guess you can't now, being dead and all.
God
Naw, I'm just messing with ya.
Bruce
That's not funny, Man! That is NOT funny.
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God
Bruce, you have a divine spark. You have a gift for bringing joy and laughter to the world. I know, I created you.
Bruce
Quit bragging.
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God
Triumph is born out of struggle, faith is the alchemist. If you want pictures like these, you'll need to use some dark colors.
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[Bruce wakes up in the hospital and he's holding the prayer beads]
Bruce
Okay, now you're just showing off.
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God
You can't kneel down in the middle of a highway and live to talk about it, son.
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Bruce Nolan
[He sees an attractive girl walk past. He blows, causing a gust of wind to lift her skirt]
And he saw that it was 'good'!
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Bruce
[chuckles]
This is hilarious. So you're the boss and the electrician and the janitor. Must be a killer Christmas party. Don't get drunk, though. One of you might need a ride home.
God
[Bruce laughs followed by him laughing]
You always were funny, Bruce. Just like your father. He didn't mind rolling up his sleeves either, son. People underestimate the benefit of good old manual labor. There's freedom in it. Some of the happiest people in the world go home smelling to high heaven at the end of the day.
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Announcer
[Bruce sees that the news is starting at the office] Welcome to Eyewitness News at Six, with Susan Ortega, Evan Baxter, Fred Donahue Sports, Dallas Coleman Weather. And now, Buffalo's Number One News Team.
[Bruce smiles mischievously and heads to the news room]
Susan Ortega
Good evening and welcome to Eyewitness News at Six. I'm Susan Ortega.
Evan Baxter
And I'm Evan Baxter and here's what's making news. A potential scandal with the Buffalo P.D. surfaced today when the mayor d-bow debit
[Bruce uses his powers to make Evan's voice choked off and high-pitched]
Evan Baxter
D-bow d-bit d-bow
[unintelligible chicken squawking]
Evan Baxter
Bucka-bow, dee buck. I'm sorry; I seem to have something stuck in my throat.
Director
Someone get him some water please.
Susan Ortega
Looks like my new co-anchor may need a glass of water.
Evan Baxter
[laughs like hyena, drinks, and clears throat] Oh, there we go. Sorry about that.
[Bruce uses his powers to manipulate the teleprompter]
Evan Baxter
In other news, the Prime Minister of Sweden visited Washington today and my tiny little nipples went to France.
Director
What'd he just say? Check the prompter.
[Bruce immediately stops what he's doing and returns the teleprompter to normal. A female employee checks the prompter and shrugs in confusion]
Technician
The prompter's fine.
Director
Evan, READ THE COPY. Please. The copy's good. Just read it.
Evan Baxter
[Bruce manipulates the teleprompter again] The White House reception committee greeted the Prime Rib Roast Minister and... I do the cha-cha like a sissy girl.
[Bruce snickers]
Evan Baxter
I lik-a do da cha-cha. I'm sorry we seem to be having some technical difficulties. In other news...
[Bruce uses his powers to make Evan break wind]
Evan Baxter
Ohhhh. My apologies.
[Covering his face, Bruce uses his powers to make Evan speak rapid unintelligible gibberish]
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Bruce
What if I need you? What if I have questions?
God
That's your problem, Bruce. That's everybody's problem. You keep looking up.
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Bruce
[Grace is in the kitchen washing up. Bruce grabs her from behind and pulls her into a kiss]
Morning.
Grace
Honey last night was just...
Bruce
Heavenly? I know, I know...
Grace
I mean, you know, I woke up this morning and I felt like... like my boobs were bigger. I mean, do they look bigger to you?
Grace
Oh, come on!
Grace
[She jiggles her boobs for him]
Look at them, please! They are definitely bigger, I mean, look, they feel huge to me!
Bruce
Listen, I uh, have to go. But this has been the breast beck... breast... thank you.
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Bruce
Would it help if I said I was being a complete ass?
Kid
Hey. You said "ass".
Bruce
Yeah, but it's ok if I'm talkin' about a donkey.
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Bruce
God is a mean kid sitting on an anthill with a magnifying glass, and I'm the ant. He could fix my life in five minutes if He wanted to, but he'd rather burn off my feelers and watch me squirm.
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Ally Loman
You remember the Kowolskis. They're owned the shop for 30 years, and they are attempting to set a record by making Buffalo's largest cookie. And... you have to wear this.
Ally Loman
Health department.
Ally Loman
If you're around the cookie, you have to have it on. It's the law.
Bruce
[cut in to Kowolski's Bakery in Buffalo; The Man, reporting for the Buffalo TV station, rises up with the hair net on his head]
God, why do you hate me?
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Bruce
[sticking up his middle finger and pretending he's playing a jazz tune]
I can hold that note all day, buddy.
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Bruce
Hey, little anal-dwelling butt monkey. Time for you to go home, little buddy.
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God
[Approaching Bruce]
You've been doing a lot of complaining about me, Bruce. Quite frankly, I'm tired of it.
Bruce
[frightened]
Wait, wait, wait. Don't come near me, seriously. When I'm backed into a corner, I'm like a wild animal! I don't wanna hurt you, but I will out of instinct.
God
And the sun was in your eyes.
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Bruce
[the body of Jimmy Hoffa has just been exhumed] Hey kid, wanna make 10 bucks?
Kid
Sure.
Bruce
[holding a video camera] You know how to work one of these?
Kid
Duh!
Bruce
[blows into the eye piece like a trumpet] Seems to be in tune. Let's do this!
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Mother
[Bruce drives up in his fancy car] What the heck is that?
Grace
Oh, Bruce's new car.
Mother
Ok...
Grace
[Bruce gets out of the car and walks towards her] I am mad at you.
Bruce
I know you are, and you have every right to be.
[He pulls out a bouquet of flowers]
Bruce
But I have flowers.
Grace
What are those?
Bruce
They're a hybrid of sunflowers and lilies. I call 'em "sillies". 'Cause they're a little mixed up like me.
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Homeless Man
[holding up a sign]
"GOD BEE GOOD HONEY"
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Grace
You know that everything happens for a reason.
Bruce
See, that I don't need. That is a cliche. That is not helpful to me. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. I have no bird, I have no bush. God has taken my bird and my bush.
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Bruce
So tell us mama, why make Buffalo's biggest cookie?
Mama Kowolski
Well, man from health department say he find rat pellet in pastry but I say no, is big chocolate sprinkle, but he shut store down. So we clean up, make big cookie for to bring customers back.
Bruce
Let's try that again, shall we?
Mama Kowolski
So all the children in the neighborhood will be happy?
Bruce
And isn't it nice to see all their smiling faces?
Vol Kowolski
I work in back. I see no smiles.
[Exasperated, Bruce tosses the mic to the counter]
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[slams his hands against the steering wheel, the car starts; stunned]
Bruce
That was luck.
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Bruce
[at his breaking point, Bruce throws the prayer beads into the lake and shouts at the heavens]
Fine! The gloves are off, God! C'mon, lemme see a little wrath! Smite me, O mighty smiter! You're the one who should be fired! The only one around here not doing his job is You! ANSWER ME!
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Bruce
[Grace is sitting on the sofa, putting together a photo album. She hears Bruce singing from outside the door]
What if God was one of us? Just a slob like one of us? Just a stranger on a bus, tryin' to make his way...
[She opens the door, and sees Bruce standing there]
Bruce
hoooooooooome!
Bruce
You can call me Bruce.
Grace
What happened to you? You seem so-
[He interrupts her with a kiss]
Grace
happy.
Bruce
Why shouldn't I be? On a night like this.
[He presents her with some flowers]
Grace
Ooooh... those are amazing! What are these?
Bruce
They're a new breed. Cross-pollination between tulips and daisies. I call them... tudaisies.
Grace
Okay...
[She walks away to get a vase. Once she's gone, Bruce magically closes the door with his powers. He follows her to the kitchen and strikes a flirtatious pose in the doorway]
Grace
Honey, these flowers are really beautiful. But last night...
Bruce
Last night I was only human.
[He backs away seductively]
Bruce
Barry, help me out here.
[the stereo magically turns on to Barry White's Never Never Gonna Give You Up]
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Bruce
Bruce, God: It's good.
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Bruce
[after Sam the dog pees everywhere except the tree outside]
B-E-A-utiful. Come on, let's go back inside and have a shit.
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[after gang beats up Bruce]
Homeless Man
[holding up a sign]
"LIFE IS JUST"
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Homeless Man
[during the riot; holding up a sign]
"THY KINGDUMB COME"
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Bruce
[looking in mirror and doing a Walter Cronkite impression]
That's the way it was... and that's the way the cookie crumbles... and That's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it uh HUH uh HUH.
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Grace
[after Bruce rants about God being responsible for all his problems]
Alright, sweetheart, I know that you're mad. It's completely understandable. What Evan did was slimy and wrong. But this day could've been so much worse. I'm just glad you're okay.
[She tries to hold Bruce in compassion, but Bruce angrily moves out of her embrace]
Bruce Nolan
Okay? Newsflash: I'm not okay. I'm not okay with a mediocre job! I'm not okay with a mediocre apartment! I'm not okay with a mediocre life!
[In his rage, Bruce knocks a container full of photos off the coffee table. Grace is visibly hurt and upset by Bruce's insensitivity]
Grace
[angry and shocked]
About me? How can I make this about me? It's about you! It's always about you!
Bruce Nolan
[as he leaves the apartment in frustration]
Perfect. Perfect! I'll have the worst day of my life with a side order of GUILT please!
[He slams the door, leaving Grace feeling helpless and heartbroken]
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Bruce
[at the bakery, pausing the news broadcast for the interview, Vol is picking his nose]
It's a good thing I'm wearing this
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Grace
I'll be out in a minute!
Bruce
Don't rush yourself! Sometimes anticipation can heighten the... pleasure.
[Growls]
Grace
[Grace's vagina is filled with pleasure, and her knees buckle, causing her to hold onto the sink for support]
Oh God! Oh!
Bruce
It's a funny thing about pleasure.
Grace
Wow.
Bruce
It can be quite... PLEASURABLE!
Grace
[Grace's vagina is filled with even more pleasure, and she falls onto the toilet seat, knocking over several bottles as she does]
Oh my God.
Bruce
[Bruce thrusts his hands in Grace's direction, and starts sending pleasure to her with his mind]
Pleasuring pleasurable pleasuring...
Grace
[Grace writhes in sexual ecstasy on the seat, as she suddenly has the most powerful orgasm of her life]
Oh God!
[Moaning]
Grace
Oh good God!
[She collapses onto the floor, overcome with sexual delight]
Bruce
...pleasurable pleasure.
[the bathroom door opens. Bruce quickly stops chanting and adopts a casual pose. Grace is standing in the doorway, using it for support. Bruce growls at her like an animal. She runs at Bruce, who grabs her and throws her down onto the bed. Outside their apartment, we see their lights flickering, and hear Grace's loud moans of sexual bliss. Bruce cries out triumphantly]
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Bruce
[Grace has walked out angrily after catching Bruce kissing Susan Ortega. Bruce is running after her]
Grace! Grace, come here! Grace, this is so weird, I was just calling you!
Grace
Oh yeah, what, and you thought like Susan's mouth was the phone?
Bruce
She kissed me! I'm the kissee!
Bruce
I tried to fight her off. I tried to stop her, but she's really strong. Okay, I screwed up! Can I make it up to you?
Grace
Yeah! Why don't you get me a boat, Bruce?
Bruce
What?
Grace
Yeah, a big boat! And then maybe two big bags of cash? Then, then I'll be happy. Lots of money and lots of stuff! Other people want idiotic crap like getting married or having babies with the man that they've loved for five years, but not me, Bruce! Just gimme the boat!
[She gets in the car]
[turns back to Grace]
Bruce
Grace, don't do this!
Grace
I'm not doing it! I'm undoing it. I'll be at Debbie's, you take care of Sam until I can make arrangements.
[She drives off]
Bruce
You can't leave me! I'm the Alpha, lady! I'm the Omega, baby! Okay, fine. I don't need you!
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Bruce
I needed time to reassess my goals and get in touch with my true self.
Jack
You did that in a day?
Bruce
Imagine what I could do in seven...
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Bruce
Excuse me, I need a spoooo...
[a spoon appears, sliding out of his mouth]
Bruce
It's okay, I found one.
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Bruce
What up with thee.
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Jack
There he is, the man of the hour!
Bruce
Bless you, bless ALL of you! Be fruitful... and do long division or something!
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Bruce
[footage shows Buffalo's Largest Cookie arriving outside Kowolski's Bakery; The Bakers help measure the cookie; as "Reporter"]
The previous Buffalo record was 8 feet, 7 inches, baked by Gladys Pelnick. If this beats Galdys', it will prove once and for all that the Kowolskis have much more free time. And the cookie is... 10 feet, 4 inches.
[Short montage: Set to the Theme of "Chariots of Fire", everyone enjoys portions of the cookie and free milk. The Reporter pours milks while running]
Bruce
[as the camera looks at the Kowolskis for the seconds at one point]
But what are we really looking at here? Is it just a big cookie, or does this cookie represent the pride of Buffalo, its dedicated and hardworking citizens the key ingredient, with a few nuts thrown in, and, finally, the love of our families, which provides the warm, chewy center, making out beloved Buffalo, the sweetest place to live. And that's the way the cookie crumbles. I'm Bruce Nolan, Eyewitness News.
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Hood
You want me and the homies to apologize, right?
[Bruce nods]
Hood
I'll tell you what. We'll apologize the day a monkey comes out of my butt. Then you'll get your "sorry". How about that?
Bruce
What a coincidence, because that's TODAY.
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Newscaster
His stories are all over town.
Newscaster
From unearthing Jimmy Hoffa.
Newscaster
To a meteor crashing to Earth.
Newscaster
Bruce Nolan is rapidly becoming known as...
[Shot of a "Mr. Exclusive" banner being put up]
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[He points to the bathroom, and Sam goes to urinate in the toilet]
Bruce
Good boy.
[Sam turns to leave]
Bruce
Ah! Forget something?
[Sam goes to put the seat down]
Bruce
Good boy! There are girls in the house, huh?
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Hazel
[Being interviewed by Bruce]
My secret is that I let the jalapeños marinate in a spicy sauce for at least 24 hours, before I stir it into the chilli. Then I let it all come to a simmer.
Bruce
[He closes his eyes and concentrates. A meteor then crashes right behind them]
Hold that thought Hazel! It seems as if... an asteroid, or some kind of meteorite... has just hit ground, right outside of the Mark Twain Chilli Cook-off! This should certainly spice things up a bit!
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Stalled Car Guy
Well, thanks a million.
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Grace
I'm in the shower!
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Homeless Man
[while Bruce is looking a guy next to a broken down car; holding up a sign]
"ALL FOR WON"
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Grace
Honey, hi, wow!
[Gasps as she looks up at the sky, seeing the moon, which Bruce has brought closer to the Earth]
Grace
I've never seen the moon that big!
Bruce
Yeah...
[Bruce starts running his hands through Grace's hair sensually]
Bruce
We really shouldn't waste it.
[Bruce and Grace start making out passionately, as a divinely-caused meteor shower lights the sky behind them]
Bruce
Bedroom?
[Grace runs into the bathroom to prepare for sex]
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Informercial Announcer
[Grace is in a coffee shop when the following infomercial comes on the TV] K-TEL Records brings you the 100 Greatest Love Songs of All Time. You'll hear such classics as "All You Need Is Bruce," "If You Can't Be With the One You Love, Then Love Bruce," "Do That to Bruce One More Time," and who can forget that classic, "Bruce So Horny - He Love You Long Time." Order today, and we'll throw in at no extra charge, the video "Sweatin' to Bruce". Just dial 1-900-4 GIV HIM. That's 1-900-4 GIV HIM.
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Bruce
I'm Bruce Nolan with Eyewitness Nose... Eyewitness Nose... that's right!
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Little Girl
[Bruce is lying in bed, asleep. Suddenly, he begins to hear thousands of voices in his head, causing him to wake up. Several are loud enough to make out] Please bless my mommy, my daddy, and especially my little sister.
Man #1
Please help me Lord. Please get me through this one.
Woman
I need you Lord. I'm desperate. And you alone, can take control of my future.
Man #2
All I'm asking, Lord, is that you help me.
Little Girl
Thank you for everything else in my life. Amen.
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[From a scripted, but unreleased scene]
Susan Ortega
[Bruce and Susan are at the Eyewitness News desk, preparing for their first live broadcast together. Susan leans over to Bruce]
Bruce, if I had any idea Grace was going to be there last night...
Bruce
Susan, you didn't do anything wrong. In fact, I found the moment rather pleasurable.
Susan Ortega
[She gasps and moans as she has a small orgasm]
Oh really... that's nice...
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Bruce
[after getting thrown out of the network building by security]
That is perfect! That is the motivation that i needed! right there! thank you!
[gets to his feet]
Bruce
Thank you, WKBW! Wimpy Kiddy Baby Whiners! That's what that stands for! I'll see you on Channel 5, where they do the real news!
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Bruce
Yeah, let's thank God, shall we? For his blessings are raining down upon me. Wait, that's not rain!
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[From a deleted scene on the DVD]
Bruce
Alright, now we're gettin' somewhere. Let's see... Filbert Davis, Gym Class.
[He reads the prayer]
Bruce
Lemme get a visual on this.
School Bully 1
[They're stood in gym class, next to the climbing rope] Come on, fatty Filbert! My grandma can climb higher than you!
School Bully 2
Pretend there's a hot dog up there!
Filbert Davis
Oh God, please help me!
Bruce
Don't worry Filbert, help is on the way!
[Filbert suddenly has a burst of strength, and is able to climb up to the top of the rope]
Filbert Davis
Oh my gosh...
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Bruce
[after realizing that answering all of Buffalo's prayers is going to be a big job] I better manifest some coffee.
[He concentrates, and there's a knock at his window. Juan Valdez is there]
Bruce
¡Hola! Juan Valdez!
[he opens the window]
Bruce
Buenos Dias!
Bruce
¡Buenos Dias!
Juan Valdes
[as he pours the coffee] Disfrute un buen café
[this means "enjoy good coffee" in Spanish]
Bruce
Gracias, Señor.
Juan Valdes
Adiós.
Bruce
¡Adiós!
[Juan leaves with his donkey, and Bruce sits back down at his computer, and sips the coffee]
Bruce
Ah... Now *that's* fresh, mountain grown coffee from the hills of Colombia!
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Evan Baxter
Is your child in dire jeopardy? Find out tonight, after the game.
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Bruce
What is with that?
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Bruce Nolan
Vol? Vol? You want a tissue or something? Can we get Vol a tissue... or a spoon?
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[repeated lines]
Bruce
It's good. It's goooooood!
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Homeless Man
Homeless Man, Bruce: [as Bruce arrives late to work; holding up the sign; Bruce reads] "R EWE BLIND"?
Bruce
No, but I'm late!
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Bruce
[measuring the diameter Buffalo's cookie]
And the cookie is... ten feet and four inches! That's a record!
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[They kiss]
Bruce
How was that?
Grace
That was great.
Bruce
Yeah?
Grace
That was really great.
[They kiss again]
Grace
Now you still have to go over there. The nurse is waiting.
Bruce
Oh... do I have to?
Grace
Oh it's not gonna hurt. In fact I think you'll find it quite pleasurable.
Bruce
Ooo baby.
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Bruce
[He finds a particular photo amongst the others]
Woah, hold the phone. I like this one. Our weekend at the lake.
Grace
How did you get that? That's supposed to be in our private stash.
Grace
Alright just give it to me.
Bruce
You know I think I'll put this on my computer and use it as a wallpaper.
Grace
Okay, Bruce, give it to me! Come on!
[She tries to get it off him]
Bruce
Hey! Hey! No no no!
Grace
Alright fine. Do with it what you will. I don't care.
Bruce
I will do with it what I will. You know, I might even send this into Playboy. I hear their layouts can be quite tasteful.
Grace
Give that to me, right now!
[She pounces on him]
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Bruce
I'm not a martyr. I'm the victim.
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[File drawers fill the living room]
Bruce
Post-Its!
[Drawers disappear randomly as the shower of Post-Its now fills the entire house]
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