Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets 2002 - Movie Quotes

Albus Dumbledore It is not our abilities that show what we truly are. It is our choices.

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Harry Potter Come on.

Ron Weasley *What*?

Harry Potter You heard what Hagrid said. Follow the spiders.

Ron Weasley They're heading into the Dark Forest! Why spiders? Why couldn't it be "follow the butterflies"?

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Lucius Malfoy Let us hope that Mr. Potter will always be around to save the day.

Harry Don't worry. I will be.

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Molly Weasley *Your* sons flew that enchanted car of yours to Surrey and back last night.

Arthur Weasley [to the boys] Did you really? How did it go?

[after Molly hits him]

Arthur Weasley I mean, that was very wrong indeed, boys. Very wrong of you.

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Dobby Master has given Dobby a sock.

Lucius Malfoy What? I didn't give...

Dobby Master has present Dobby with clothes! Dobby is... free.

[Harry lifts up a pant leg, revealing it was his sock]

Lucius Malfoy [livid] You lost me MY SERVANT!

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Arthur Weasley Now, Harry you must know all about Muggles, tell me, what exactly is the function of a rubber duck?

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[Harry, Ron and Lockhart find the Basilisk skin]

Ron Weasley What's this?

Gilderoy Lockhart It looks like a... snake.

Harry Potter It's a snake *skin*.

Ron Weasley Bloody hell! Whatever shed this must be sixty feet long! Or *more*!

[Lockhart passes out]

Ron Weasley Heart of a lion, this one.

Gilderoy Lockhart [to Harry and Ron after grabbing Ron's wand] The adventure ends here, boys. But don't fret. The world will know our story. How I was too late to save the girl. How you two tragically lost your minds at the sight of her mangled body.

[points wand to Harry]

Gilderoy Lockhart So... you first, Mr. Potter. Say goodbye to your memories. Obliviate!

[he gets pulled backwards and thrown hit into a rock wall knocking him out which causes loose rocks to fall and block the path between Ron and Harry]

Ron Weasley Harry! Harry!

Harry Potter Ron! Ron, are you OK?

Ron Weasley I'm fine!

Gilderoy Lockhart [wakes up] Hello. Who are you?

Ron Weasley Um... Ron Weasley.

Gilderoy Lockhart Really? And, uh, wh-who am I?

Ron Weasley [to Harry] Lockhart's memory charm backfired! He hasn't got a clue who he is!

Gilderoy Lockhart [he picks up a rock] It's an odd sort of place, this, isn't it? Do you live here?

Ron Weasley [takes the rock] *No*!

Gilderoy Lockhart Really?

[Ron knocks Lockhart unconscious with the rock]

Ron Weasley [to Harry, who's on the other side of the rock slide] What do I do now?

Harry Potter You wait here and try to shift some of this rock so we can get back through. I'll go on and find Ginny.

Ron Weasley OK.

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[last lines]

Hagrid I'd just like to say that, if it hadn't been for you Harry, and Ron and Hermione of course, I would... I'd still be You-Know-Where. So I'd just like to say thanks.

Harry There's no Hogwarts without you, Hagrid.

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The Howler Ronald Weasley! How dare you steal that car! I am absolutely disgusted! Your father's facing an inquiry at work, and it's entirely your fault! If you put another toe out of line, we'll bring you straight home!

[to Ginny]

The Howler Oh, and Ginny dear, congratulations on making Gryffindor. Your father and I are so proud.

[turns back to Ron]

The Howler PPPBBBTTT!

[it rips up]

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Ron It's not much, but it's home.

Harry I think it's brilliant.

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Oliver Wood We play our game, Hufflepuff doesn't stand a chance. We're stronger, quicker and smarter.

Fred Weasley And not to mention they're dead scared that Harry'll petrify them if they fly anywhere near him.

Oliver Wood Well, that too.

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Hermione Look, Hagrid's our friend, why don't we just go and ask him about it?

Ron That would be a cheerful visit. "Hello Hagrid! Tell us, have you been setting anything mad and hairy loose in the castle lately?"

[Hagrid has walked up behind them]

Hagrid Mad and hairy? You wouldn't be talkin' about me, now would ya?

Hermione Hermione, Ron, Harry: No.

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Dumbledore You both realize, of course, that in the past few hours you have broken perhaps a dozen school rules.

Harry Harry, Ron: Yes, sir.

Dumbledore And that there is sufficient evidence to have you both expelled.

Harry Harry, Ron: Yes, sir.

Dumbledore Therefore, it is only fitting that you both receive...

[beams]

Dumbledore Special Awards for Services to the School.

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Dobby Harry Potter freed Dobby! How can Dobby ever repay him?

Harry Potter Just promise me something.

Dobby Anything, sir.

Harry Potter Never try to save my life again.

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[after using a spell to mend Harry's broken arm, Lockhart inadvertently removes all the bones in it]

Gilderoy Lockhart Ah... yes, well, that can sometimes happen. Um, but, uh, the point is, uh, you can no longer feel any pain. And, very clearly, the bones are not broken.

Rubeus Hagrid Broken? There's no bones *left*!

Gilderoy Lockhart Much more flexible, though.

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Neville Longbottom Why is it always me?

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Ron Weasley Follow the spiders? *Follow the spiders*? If Hagrid *ever* gets out of Azkaban, I'll kill him!

[the flying car drives itself back into the Dark Forest]

Ron Weasley I mean, what was the point of sending us in there? What have we found out?

Harry Potter We know one thing: Hagrid never opened the Chamber of Secrets. He was innocent.

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Lucius Malfoy Mr. Potter! Lucius Malfoy. We meet at last. Forgive me, your scar is legend. As, of course, is the wizard who gave it to you.

Harry Voldemort killed my parents. He was nothing more than a murderer.

Lucius Malfoy You must be very brave to mention his name. Or very foolish.

Hermione Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself.

Lucius Malfoy And you must be Miss Granger. Yes, Draco's told me all about you. And your parents. Muggles, aren't they? Let me see. Red hair... vacant expressions... tatty second hand book... you must be the Weasleys.

Arthur Weasley Children, it's mad in here. Let's go outside.

Lucius Malfoy Well, well, well. Weasley Senior.

Arthur Weasley Lucius.

Lucius Malfoy Busy time at the Ministry, Arthur, all those extra raids? I do hope they're paying you overtime. Though judging by the state of this, I'd say not.

[picks up a book out of Ginny's cauldron and discreetly slips Riddle's diary along with it back in the cauldron without anyone noticing]

Lucius Malfoy What's the use in being a disgrace to the name of wizard if they don't even pay you well for it?

Arthur Weasley We have a very different idea about what disgraces the name of wizard, Malfoy.

Lucius Malfoy Clearly. Associating with muggles. And I thought your family could sink no lower.

Lucius Malfoy [to Arthur as he walks out of Flourish & Blotts] See you at work.

Draco Malfoy [to Harry as he walks out] See you at school.

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Ron Weasley They were starving him, Mum! There were bars on his window!

Molly Weasley Well, you'd best hope I don't put bars on *your* window, Ronald Weasley! Come on, Harry. Time for a spot of breakfast.

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Ron [his wand broke in an attempt to stop the out-of-control flying car]

[in high voice]

Ron My wand. Look at my wand.

Harry Be thankful it's not your neck.

[something hits against the car]

Ron [in high voice] What's happening?

Harry I don't know.

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Ginny Weasley Mummy, have you seen my jumper?

Molly Weasley Yes, dear, it was on the cat.

[sees Harry; a shocked look forms on her face]

Harry Potter Hello.

[Ginny runs off]

Harry Potter What did I do?

Ron Weasley Ginny. She's been talking about you all summer. Bit annoying, really.

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Harry Ron, I should tell you, most Muggles aren't accustomed to seeing a flying car.

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[Snape blasts Lockhart off his feet in a practice duel]

Hermione Do you think he's all right?

Ron Who cares?

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Draco Malfoy Scared, Potter?

Harry You wish.

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[deleted scene]

Fred Weasley Look everyone, it's the heir of Slytherin!

George Weasley Be careful! He's a seriously evil wizard.

Ron Come on, Harry. Fred and George were just having a laugh.

Harry They're the only ones.

Ron Okay, so half the school thinks you're nipping off to the Chamber of Secrets every night. Who cares?

Harry Maybe they're right.

Hermione Harry! Harry? Oh, come on!

Harry Look, I didn't know I could speak Parseltongue! What else don't I know about myself? Look. Maybe you can do something, even something horrible and not know you did it.

Hermione You don't believe that, Harry. I know you don't. And if it makes you feel any better, Malfoy's staying for the holidays, too.

Ron Why would that make anyone feel any better?

Hermione Because, in a few days the Polyjuice Potion will be ready! In a few days, we may truly know who is the heir of Slytherin.

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Harry You're Aragog, aren't you?

Aragog Yes. Hagrid has never sent men into our hollow before.

Harry He's in trouble. Up at the school there've been attacks. They think it's Hagrid. They think he opened the Chamber of Secrets, like before.

Aragog That's a lie! Hagrid never opened the Chamber of Secrets!

Harry Then you're not the monster?

Aragog No! The monster was born in the castle. I came to Hagrid from a distant land, in the pocket of a traveler.

Ron [terrified] Harry.

Harry Shush.

[to Aragog]

Harry But, if you're not the monster, then-then what did kill that girl 50 years ago?

Aragog We do not speak of it! It is an ancient creature we spiders fear above all others.

Harry But have you seen it?

Aragog I never saw any part of the castle but the box in which Hagrid kept me. The girl was discovered in a bathroom. When I was accused, Hagrid brought me here.

Ron Harry!

Harry What?

[Ron points at the spiders surrounding them]

Harry Well... thank you. We'll just go.

Aragog Go? I think not. My sons and daughters do not harm Hagrid on my command, but I cannot deny them fresh meat when it wanders so willingly into our midst. Goodbye, friend of Hagrid.

Ron Can we panic now?

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Hermione Granger Professor, I was wondering if you could tell us about... the Chamber of Secrets.

Minerva McGonagall [seeing everyone's curious faces] Very well. Well, you all know, of course, that Hogwarts was founded over a thousand years ago, by the four greatest witches and wizards of the age: Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena Ravenclaw... and Salazar Slytherin. Now, three of the founders co-existed quite harmoniously. One did not.

Ron Weasley Three guesses who.

Minerva McGonagall Salazar Slytherin wished to be more selective about the students admitted to Hogwarts. He believed magical learning should be kept within all-magic families. In other words, pure-bloods. Unable to sway the others, he decided to leave the school. Now, according to legend, Slytherin had built a hidden chamber in this castle, known as the Chamber of Secrets. Though shortly before departing, he sealed it until that time when his own true heir returned to the school. The heir alone would be able to open the Chamber and unleash... the horror within, and by so doing, purge the school of all those who... in Slytherin's view... were unworthy... to study magic.

Hermione Granger Muggle-borns.

Minerva McGonagall Well, naturally the school has been searched many times. No such chamber has been found.

Hermione Granger Professor, what exactly does the legend tell us lies within the Chamber?

Minerva McGonagall Well, the Chamber is said to be home to something that *only* the Heir of Slytherin can control! It is said to be the home... of a monster.

[Ron looks behind him to face Draco's evil smile]

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Dumbledore [discreetly talking to Harry and Ron knowing they're under the cloak] You will find that help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it.

Lucius Malfoy Admirable sentiments. Shall we? Fudge?

Cornelius Fudge Come, Hagrid. Well?

Hagrid [discreetly talking to Harry and Ron] If, uh, if anybody was looking for some stuff, then all they'd have to do would be to follow the spiders.

[pause]

Hagrid Yup. That would lead 'em right. That's all I have to say.

[he leaves]

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Hermione [Hermione's face is now of a cat's] Look at my face.

Ron Look at your tail.

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Tom Riddle How is it that a baby with no extraordinary magical talent was able to defeat the greatest wizard of all time? How did you escape with nothing but a scar while Lord Voldemort's powers were destroyed?

Harry Potter Why do you care how I escaped? Voldemort was after your time!

Tom Riddle Voldemort... *is* my past, present, and future.

[using Harry's wand, writes his full name "Tom Marvolo Riddle" in the air, then swipes, causing the letters to rearrange themselves and spell out "I am Lord Voldemort"]

Harry Potter You. You're the Heir of Slytherin.

[stares into Tom's eyes]

Harry Potter You're Voldemort.

Tom Riddle [slowly growing angry] Surely... you didn't think... I was going to keep my filthy Muggle father's name? No. I fashioned myself a new name, a name I knew wizards everywhere would one day fear to speak when I became the greatest sorcerer in the world!

Harry Potter Albus Dumbledore is the greatest sorcerer in the world!

Tom Riddle Dumbledore's been driven out of this castle by the mere memory of me!

Harry Potter He'll *never* be gone! Not as long as those who remain are loyal to him!

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Ron [spellotaping his broken wand] Say it, I'm doomed.

Harry You're doomed.

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Gilderoy Lockhart [whilst flying out of the Chamber of Secrets with Fawkes, Harry, Ron, and Ginny] AMAZING! This is just like magic!

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Prof. Sprout Oh, Longbottom's been neglecting his earmuffs.

Seamus Finnigan No, ma'am, he's just fainted.

Prof. Sprout [sighs] Yes, well, just leave him there.

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Moaning Myrtle *I'm* Moaning Myrtle! I wouldn't expect you to know me! Who would ever talk about ugly, miserable, moping, Moaning Myrtle? AHHHHHHHHHH!

[she lets out a piercing shriek and dive-bombs into one of the toilets, disappearing with a splash]

Hermione She's a little sensitive.

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Tom Marvolo Riddle So this is what Dumbledore sends his great defender. A songbird and an old hat.

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Moaning Myrtle Here I am, minding my own business, and someone thinks it's funny to throw a book at me.

Ron But, it can't hurt if someone throws something at you. I mean, it would just go right through you.

Moaning Myrtle [swooping down towards Ron] Sure! Let's all throw books at Myrtle, because she can't feel it! Ten points if you get it through her stomach!

[punches Ron in stomach]

Moaning Myrtle Fifty points if it goes through her head!

[punches Ron in head]

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Harry Your bird, there was nothing I could do. He just caught fire.

Dumbledore Oh, and about time too. He's been looking dreadful for days. Pity you had to see him on a burning day.

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Ron Weasley Where's Hermione when you need her?

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Molly Weasley Now don't forget to speak very, very clearly.

Harry Diagonally.

[Harry vanishes]

Molly Weasley What did he say dear?

Arthur Weasley Diagonally.

Molly Weasley I thought he did.

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Gilderoy Lockhart Let's have a volunteer pair. Potter, Weasley, how about you?

Severus Snape Weasley's wand causes devastation with the simplest spells. We'll be sending Potter to the hospital wing in a matchbox. Might I suggest someone from my own house?

[slight pause]

Severus Snape Malfoy, perhaps?

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Ron Have you spoken to Hermione?

Harry She should be out of hospital in a few days... when she stops coughing up fur balls.

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[Harry and Ron are staring at each other after changing into Crabbe and Goyle]

Ron [in own voice] Bloody Hell!

Harry We still sound like ourselves. You need to sound more like Crabbe.

Ron [in lower voice] Um... Bloody hell

Harry Excellent.

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Ron Weasley You're a Parselmouth? Why didn't you tell us?

Harry Potter I'm a *what*?

Hermione Granger You can talk to snakes!

Harry Potter I know. I mean, I accidentally set a python on my cousin Dudley at the zoo once. Once! But so what? I bet *loads* of people here can do it.

Hermione Granger No, they can't! It's not a very common gift, Harry. This is bad.

Harry Potter What's bad? If I hadn't told that snake not to attack Justin...

Ron Weasley [sarcastically] Oh, *that's* what you said to it?

Harry Potter You were there! You heard me!

Ron Weasley I heard you speaking Parseltongue. Snake language?

Harry Potter I spoke a different language?

[Ron nods earnestly]

Harry Potter But I didn't realise-- How can speak a language without *knowing* I can?

Hermione Granger I don't know, Harry, but it sounded like you were egging the snake on or something. Harry, listen to me. There's a reason the symbol of Slytherin house is a serpent. Salazar Slytherin was a Parselmouth. He could talk to snakes too.

Ron Weasley Exactly! Now the whole school's gonna think you're his great-great-great-grandson or something.

Harry Potter But I'm *not*!

[slight pause]

Harry Potter I can't be.

Hermione Granger He lived a thousand years ago. For all we know, you could be.

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[after the attack on Mrs. Norris]

Professor Snape If I might, Headmaster. Perhaps Potter and his friends were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. However, the circumstances are suspicious. I, for one, don't recall seeing Potter at dinner.

Gilderoy Lockhart I'm afraid that's my doing, Severus. You see, Harry was helping me answer my fan mail.

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Draco Malfoy [after having Harry's picture taken] Bet you loved that, didn't you Potter. Famous Harry Potter can't even go into a bookshop without making the front page.

Ginny Leave him alone.

Draco Malfoy Oh, look, Potter, you got yourself a girlfriend.

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Harry Potter It's alright Ginny, It's over. It's just a memory.

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Oliver Wood I don't believe it! Where you think you're going, Flint?

Marcus Flint Qudditch practice!

Oliver Wood I booked the pitch for Gryffindor today.

Marcus Flint Easy, Wood. I've got a note.

Ron Uh-oh. I smell trouble.

Oliver Wood "I, Professor Severus Snape do hereby give the Slytherin team permission to practice today, owing to the need to train their new Seeker." You've got a new seeker? Who?

[Malfoy steps out from behind the crowd]

Harry Potter Malfoy?

Draco Malfoy That's right. And that's not all that's new this year.

[shows everyone the new brooms]

Ron Those are Nimbus Two-Thousand and Ones! How'd you get those?

Marcus Flint A gift from Draco's father.

Draco Malfoy You see, Weasley, unlike some, my father can afford the best.

Hermione Granger At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to buy their way in. They got in on pure talent.

Draco Malfoy No one asked your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood!

Ron You'll pay for that one Malfoy! Eat slugs!

[Ron 's jinx backfires, hitting him in his chest and knocking him several feet backwards. The Gryffindor team and Hermione run to his side]

Hermione Granger You okay, Ron? Say something!

[Ron opens his mouth and coughs up a huge slug and Colin Creevey begins snapping away with his camera]

Colin Creevey Wow! Can you turn him around Harry?

Harry Potter No Colin! Get out of the way!

[he and Hermione assist Ron up]

Harry Potter Come on, let's take him to Hagrid's.

[Ron throws up another slug]

Harry Potter He'll know what to do.

[he, Hermione, and Ron run off to Hagrid's as Ron continues to throw up slugs. Malfoy looks at them, then back at his teammates, laughing]

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[deleted scene; the students are unaware that Harry is listening from behind the wall]

Ernie MacMillan So anyway, I told Justin to hide up in our dormitory. I mean to say, if Potter's marked him down as his next victim, it's best he keeps a low profile for awhile.

Hannah Abbott But why would he want to attack Justin?

Ernie MacMillan Well, Justin let it slip to Potter that he was Muggle-born.

Hannah Abbott And you definitely think Potter's the Heir of Slytherin?

Ernie MacMillan Hannah, he's a Parselmouth. Everyone knows that's the mark of a dark wizard. Have you ever heard of a decent one who can talk to snakes? They called Slytherin himself "Serpent Tongue".

Hannah Abbott Harry always seemed so nice, though. And after all, he is the one who made You-Know-Who disappear.

Ernie MacMillan That's probably why You-Know-Who wanted to kill him in the first place. Didn't want another Dark Lord competing with him.

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Hermione It's a bit strange, isn't it?

Harry Strange?

Hermione You hear this voice, a voice only you can hear, and then Mrs. Norris turns up petrified? It's just... strange.

Harry Do you think I should have told them? Dumbledore and the others, I mean.

Ron Are you mad?

Hermione No, Harry. Even in the wizarding world, hearing voices isn't a good sign.

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Ron Weasley Do you think it's true? Do you think there really is a Chamber of Secrets?

Hermione Granger Yes! Couldn't you tell? McGonagall's worried. *All* the teachers are.

Harry Potter But if there really *is* a Chamber of Secrets, a-and it really has been opened, then that means...

Hermione Granger The heir of Slytherin has returned to Hogwarts. The question is, who is it?

Ron Weasley [sarcastically] Let's think. Who do we know who thinks all Muggle-borns are scum?

Hermione Granger If you're talking about Malfoy...

Ron Weasley Of course! You heard him! "You'll be next, Mudbloods."

Hermione Granger I heard him. But Malfoy, the heir of Slytherin?

Harry Potter Well, maybe Ron's right, Hermione. I mean, look at his family. The whole lot of them have been in Slytherin for *centuries*.

Ron Weasley [getting an idea] Crabbe and Goyle must know! Maybe we can trick them into telling.

Hermione Granger [scoffs] Even *they* aren't that thick, but there might be another way. Mind you, it would be difficult, not to mention we'd be breaking about *fifty* school rules! *And* it will be dangerous. *Very* dangerous.

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Harry Potter Wish you were here, Hermione. We need you. Now more than ever.

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Professor Snape You were seen. By no less than seven Muggles! Do you have any idea how serious this is? You have risked the exposure of our world! Not to mention the damage you inflicted on a Whomping Willow that's been on these grounds since before you were born!

Ron Honestly, Professor Snape, I think it did more damage to us.

Professor Snape Silence! I assure you that were you in Slytherin and your fate rested with me, the both of you would be on the train home tonight!

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Hermione Granger [to Harry] Again? You mean, the Chamber of Secrets was opened before?

Ron Weasley Of course! Don't you see? Lucius Malfoy must have opened it when he was at school here. Now he's told Draco how to do it.

Hermione Granger Maybe, but we'll have to wait for the Polyjuice Potion to know for sure.

Ron Weasley Enlighten me. Why are we brewing this potion in broad daylight, in the middle of a girls' lavatory? Don't you think we'll get caught?

Hermione Granger [scoffs] No. No one ever comes in here.

Ron Weasley Why?

Hermione Granger Moaning Myrtle.

Ron Weasley Who?

[the ghost of a Hogwarts schoolgirl peaks out from inside a stall]

Hermione Granger Moaning Myrtle.

[Harry notices her]

Ron Weasley Who's Moaning Myrtle?

Moaning Myrtle *I'm* Moaning Myrtle!

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Draco Malfoy Father always said that Dumbledore was the worst thing that ever happened to this place.

Harry [disguised as Goyle] You're wrong!

Draco Malfoy What? You think there's someone here who's worse than Dumbledore? Well? Do you?

Harry [disguised as Goyle] ... Harry Potter?

Draco Malfoy Good one, Goyle. You're absolutely right.

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Harry [writing inside Tom Riddle's diary] My name is Harry Potter.

[the words disappear, then other words appear in the diary]

Tom Marvolo Riddle Hello, Harry Potter, my name is Tom Riddle.

Harry [writing] Do you know anything about the Chamber of Secrets?

Tom Marvolo Riddle [word appears] Yes...

Harry Can you tell me?

Tom Marvolo Riddle No...

[Harry sighs in frustration, but then sees the next words, and get excited]

Tom Marvolo Riddle But I can show you... Let me take you back 50 years ago... 13th June.

[the pages turn to this date, then Harry is swept inside the diary]

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Gilderoy Lockhart Spooky how the time flies when one's having fun.

Harry ...Spooky...

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Gilderoy Lockhart [Echoing from the bottom of the entrance shaft] It's really quite filthy down here!

Harry [Preparing to follow Lockhart] Here we go.

Moaning Myrtle Oh Harry - if you die down there, you're welcome to share my toilet!

[Quick shot of Ron looking pained before cutting to Harry]

Harry Uh, thanks, Myrtle.

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Gilderoy Lockhart Harry, Harry, Harry. Can you possibly imagine a better way to serve detention, than by helping me to answer my fan mail?

Harry Not really.

Gilderoy Lockhart Fame is a fickle friend Harry. Celebrity is as celebrity does. Remember that.

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Tom Marvolo Riddle Haven't I told you? Killing Mudbloods doesn't matter to me any more. For many months now, my new target has been you.

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[after Lockhart reveals his ineptness at fighting the Dark Arts]

Ron Is there anything you CAN do?

Gilderoy Lockhart Yes, now you mention it. I'm rather gifted with Memory Charms. Otherwise, you see, all those wizards would have gone blabbing. And I'd never have sold another book.

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Tom Riddle Let's match the power of Lord Voldemort, heir of Salazar Slytherin, against the famous Harry Potter.

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[Ron gets his wand out to levitate the sleeping draught cupcakes when Harry holds his hand out]

Harry Ron, maybe I should do it?

[Ron looks at his wand]

Ron [Resignedly] Yeah. Right.

[puts the wand away, as Harry gets his own wand out]

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Filch Well, take a good look lads. This night might well be the last you spend in this castle. Oh, dear, we are in trouble.

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Uncle Vernon Oh no you don't, boy! You and that bloody pigeon aren't going anywhere!

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[repeated line]

Hagrid I shouldn't have told you that.

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Harry [a rogue Bludger starts chasing Harry during the Quidditch match]

Ron [Getting his wand out] I'll stop it!

Hermione No! Even with a proper wand, it's too dangerous - you might hit Harry!

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Harry You're running away? After all that stuff you did in your books?

Gilderoy Lockhart Books can be misleading...

Harry You wrote them!

Gilderoy Lockhart My dear boy, do use your common sense! My books wouldn't have sold half as well if people didn't think *I'd* done all those things!

Harry You're a fraud! You've just been taking credit for what other wizards have done.

Ron Is there anything you *can* do?

Gilderoy Lockhart Yes. Now that you mention it, I'm rather gifted with memory charms. Otherwise, you see, all those wizards would have gone blabbing, and I'd never have sold another book

[grabs his wand]

Gilderoy Lockhart . In fact, I'm going to have to do the same to you.

[Harry and Ron point their wands at him]

Harry Don't even think about it.

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Gilderoy Lockhart Professor Dumbledore has granted me permission to start this little dueling club, to train you all up, in case you ever need to defend yourselves, as I myself have done on countless occasions. For full details, see my published works.

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Ron Dad loves muggles. Thinks they're fascinating.

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The Sorting Hat Bee in your bonnet, Potter?

Harry I-I was- I was just wondering, if you put me in the right house?

The Sorting Hat Yes, you were particularly difficult to place. But I stand by what I said last year: You would have done well in Slytherin.

Harry You're wrong.

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[first lines; Hedwig wants to be let out of her cage]

Harry Potter I can't let you out, Hedwig. I'm not allowed magic outside of school.

[Hedwig screeches loudly as she chews the lock]

Harry Potter Besides, if Uncle Vernon...

Vernon Dursley [from downstairs] Harry *Potter*!

Harry Potter Now you've done it.

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Draco Malfoy "Enemies of the heir, beware"? You'll be next, Mudbloods!

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Lucius Malfoy So, it's true. You *have* returned.

Albus Dumbledore When the governors learned that Arthur Weasley's daughter was taken into the Chamber, they saw fit to summon me back.

Lucius Malfoy Ridiculous!

Albus Dumbledore Curiously, Lucius, several of them were under the impression that you would curse their families if they did not agree to suspend me in the first place.

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[to Tom Riddle]

Harry Potter [smiling] I'll bet Dumbledore saw right through you.

Tom Marvolo Riddle He certainly kept an annoyingly close watch on me after that!

[walks around Harry]

Tom Marvolo Riddle I knew it wouldn't be safe to open the Chamber again while I was still at school so I decided to leave behind a diary, preserving my sixteen-year-old self in its pages so that one day, I would be able to lead another to finish Salazar Slytherin's noble work!

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[about Crabbe and Goyle]

Ron Maybe we could trick them into telling.

Hermione Even *they* aren't that thick.

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[Crabbe and Goyle eat the floating Sleeping Draught cupcakes]

Ron How thick could you get?

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Dobby [Dobby stands between Harry and an advancing Lucius Malfoy] You shall not harm Harry Potter!

Lucius Malfoy Avarda -

[Before he can finish, Dobby sends Malfoy flying with a wave of his hand]

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[Hermione pulls a book from a shelf in the library and joins Harry and Ron at a table]

Hermione Granger Here it is! "The Polyjuice Potion: Properly brewed, the Polyjuice Potion allows the drinker to transform himself temporarily into the physical form of another."

Ron Weasley You mean, if Harry and I drink that stuff, we'll turn into Crabbe and Goyle?

Hermione Granger Yes.

Ron Weasley Wicked! Malfoy will tell us *anything*!

Hermione Granger Exactly, but it's tricky.

[studies the recipe]

Hermione Granger I've never seen a more complicated potion.

Harry Potter How long will it take to make?

Hermione Granger A month.

Harry Potter A *month*? But Hermione--!

[lowers his voice]

Harry Potter If Malfoy *is* the Heir of Slytherin, he could attack half the Muggle-borns in the school by then.

Hermione Granger I know, but it's the only plan we've got.

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Gilderoy Lockhart [Looking down the pipe leading to the Chamber of Secrets] Excellent, Harry. Haa! Good work! Well then, I'll just be, ah...

[turns and tries to leave]

Gilderoy Lockhart there's no need for me to stay!

Harry [Pushing Lockhart back with Ron's help] Yes there is!

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Gilderoy Lockhart [to class] I must ask you not to scream, it might REMOTE THEM!

[pulls cloth off of cage, which reveals pixies]

Seamus Finnigan Cornish pixies?

Gilderoy Lockhart [Draco Malfoy and Crabbe snigger] Freshly caught Cornish pixies.

[more people chuckle]

Gilderoy Lockhart Laugh after you, Mr. Finnigan. The pixies can be devilishly tricky little things. See what you make of them.

[releases pixies, which attack students]

Gilderoy Lockhart Round them up! Round them up! Round up the pixies

[pixies ruin Lockhart's books and two of them lift Neville by the ear and drop him on the light on the ceiling]

Neville Longbottom Hey, get me down!

Hermione Get off me!

Harry No, stop, hold still!

[hits pixie with book]

Gilderoy Lockhart Peskipiksi Pesternomi!

[pixie grabs Lockhart's wand and cuts off chain of dinosaur skeleton, which falls]

Gilderoy Lockhart [to Harry, Ron, and Hermione] I'll ask you three to just nip the rest of them back into your case.

[runs away]

Ron What do we do now?

Hermione [takes out wand] Immobulus!

[freezes pixies]

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Draco Malfoy [talking to Crabbe and Goyle, unaware that they're really Harry and Ron in disguise] My father *did* say this: It's been fifty years since the chamber has been opened. He wouldn't tell me who opened it, only that they were expelled. The last time the Chamber of Secrets was opened, a Mudblood died. So it's only a matter of time before one of them is killed this time. As for me, I hope it's Granger.

[Ron, disguised as Crabbe, stands up as if to attack Draco; Harry, disguised as Goyle, stops him]

Draco Malfoy What's the matter with you two? You're acting very... odd!

Harry Potter It's his stomachache.

[quietly to Ron]

Harry Potter Calm down.

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Rubeus Hagrid What are *you* doing here? Get out of my house!

Lucius Malfoy Believe me, I take absolutely no pleasure being inside your...

[looks around, disgusted]

Lucius Malfoy You call this a house?

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Gilderoy Lockhart Let me introduce you to your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher... me. Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five times winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award. But I don't talk about that; I didn't get rid of the Banden Banshee by smiling at him.

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Uncle Vernon Petunia, he's escaping!

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Harry [sees Dobby coming in behind Lucius Malfoy] Dobby! So this is your master. The family you serve is the Malfoys.

Lucius Malfoy [glares at Dobby] I'll deal with you later.

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Hermione [from trailer] Here's the plan, you disguise yourselves as Crabbe and Goyle.

[to Harry and Ron]

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Dobby [Harry walks opens his bedroom door to find Dobby jumping on his bed, who spots Harry] Harry Potter! Such an honor, it is.

[bows]

Harry [closes bedroom door] Who are you?

Dobby Dobby, sir. Dobby the house-elf.

Harry Not to be rude or anything, but this isn't a great time for me to have a house-elf in my bedroom.

Dobby Oh, yes sir. Dobby understands, it's just that Dobby has come to tell you... it is difficult, sir. Dobby wonders where to begin.

Harry Why don't you sit down.

Dobby S-s-sit-sit down?

[starts crying loudly]

Harry Dobby, shush! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you or anything.

Dobby Offend Dobby? Dobby has heard of your greatness, sir, but never has he been asked to sit down by a wizard!

[lowers voice]

Dobby Like an equal.

Harry You can't have met many decent wizards then.

Dobby No, I haven't.

[lowers voice again]

Dobby That was an awful thing to say.

[starts banging his head on Harry's dresser]

Dobby Bad Dobby! Bad Dobby! Bad!

Harry Stop! Dobby! Dobby, please!

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Dobby [Heard a noise nearby; he jumps on Harry's bed and ushers Harry to come close; whispering] Listen... listen, terrible things are about to happen at Hogwarts. Harry Potter must not stay here, now that history is to repeat itself.

Harry [whispering back; about the Chamber of Secrets] Repeat itself? Do you mean that this has happened before?

Dobby [horrified gasp; covering his mouth with his hands] Oh! I shouldn't have said that!

[Dobby looks around wildly]

Dobby [panicked] Oh!

[Dobby seizes the "Skele-Grow potion bottle from the bedside table. With a grunt, he hits his head with the bottle]

Dobby [repeatedly hitting his head with the bottle; shrieking] Bad Dobby! Bad...

Harry [whispering; over Dobby's shrieks] Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Dobby, Stop it!

[Harry grabs the bottle from Dobby, sets it on the bed and grabs Dobby by the collar of his pillow case shirt]

Harry Tell me, Dobby. When did this happen before? Who is doing it now?

Dobby [shaking his head vigorously] Dobby can not say, sir!

[Dobby strokes Harry's hand in comforting, almost motherly way]

Dobby Dobby only wants Harry Potter to be safe.

Harry No, Dobby, Tell me. Who is it?

[Before he could answer, Dobby hears something coming from the hall. He snaps his fingers and vanishes, leaving Harry grabbing onto thin air]

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Ron [from trailer] So it really is a chamber of secrets.

Hermione Yes. McGonagall's worried, all the teachers are.

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Harry See why I have to go back? I don't belong here, I belong in your world, at Hogwarts. It's the only place I've got friends.

Dobby Friends who don't even write to Harry Potter?

Harry Well I expect they've - hang on. How do YOU know my friends haven't been writing to me?

Dobby Harry Potter mustn't be angry with Dobby.

[takes out a pile of letters]

Dobby Dobby hoped if Harry Potter thought his friends had forgotten him, Harry Potter might not want to go back to school, sir.

Harry [impatiently] Give me those, now.

Dobby No!

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Uncle Vernon [Dobby is banging on Harry's dresser upstairs; the Dursely's and the Masons can hear it] Oh, don't mind that, it's just the... cat.

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Draco Malfoy Training for the ballet, Potter?

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Minerva McGonagall [to Ron; after seeing Ron unsuccessfully transform his pet rat into a water goblet] That wand needs replacing, Mr. Weasley.

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Hermione Mandrake or Mandragora is used to return those who have been petrified to their original state. It's also quite dangerous. The Mandrake's cry is fatal to anyone who hears it.

Prof. Sprout Excellent. Ten points to Gryffindor.

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[Tom watches wizards carry a dead student away]

Dumbledore Riddle. Come.

Tom Marvolo Riddle [looks upstairs and sees Dumbledore, who is fifty years younger] Professor Dumbledore.

Harry Dumbledore?

Dumbledore It is not wise to be wandering around this late hour, Tom.

Tom Marvolo Riddle Yes, Professor. I suppose I-I had to see for myself if the rumors were true.

Dumbledore I'm afraid they are, Tom. They are true.

Tom Marvolo Riddle About the school, as well? I don't have a home to go to. They wouldn't really close Hogwarts, would they, Professor?

Dumbledore I understand, Tom. But, I'm afraid Headmaster Dippet may have no choice.

Tom Marvolo Riddle Sir, if it all stopped. If the person responsible was caught...

Dumbledore Is there something you wish to tell me?

Tom Marvolo Riddle No, sir. Nothing.

Dumbledore [he examines Riddle, but then shrugs it off] Very well, then. Off you go.

Tom Marvolo Riddle Goodnight, sir.

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Dumbledore Innocent until proven guilty, Severus.

Filch My cat has been petrified. I wanna see some punishment!

Dumbledore We will be able to cure her, Argus. As I understand it, Madame Sprout has a very healthy growth of Mandrake. When matured, a potion will be made which will revive Mrs. Norris. And in the meantime, I strongly recommend caution... to all.

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Hermione [casting a spell on a Buldger trying to hit Harry] Finite Incantatem!

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Tom Riddle Funny, the damage a silly little book can do, especially in the hands of a silly little girl.

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Ron Eugh... essence of Crabbe...

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Lucius Malfoy [from trailer] Let us hope that Harry Potter will always be around to save the day.

Harry Don't worry, I will be.

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[Harry and Ron are in Snape's office; Snape shows them an article in the Daily Prophet about the Ford Anglia flying over London]

Professor Snape [furiously] You were seen by no less than seven Muggles!

[throws the paper aside]

Professor Snape Do you have any idea how serious this is? You have risked the exposure of our world! Not to mention the damage you inflicted on a Whomping Willow that's been on these grounds since before you were born!

Ron Honestly, Professor Snape, I think it did more damage to us.

Professor Snape Silence!

[Harry and Ron stare in horror as Snape stands up and looks them in the eye]

Professor Snape I assure you that were you in Slytherin and your fate rested with me, the both of you would be on the train home tonight! As it is...

Dumbledore They are not.

[Snape, Harry, Ron and Filch turn to see Dumbledore and McGonagall standing in the doorway]

Harry Professor Dumbledore. Professor McGonagall.

Professor Snape Headmaster.

[points to Harry and Ron]

Professor Snape These boys have flouted the Decree for the Restriction of Under Age Wizardry. As such...

Dumbledore I am well aware of our bylaws, Severus, having written quite a few of them myself. However, as head of Gryffindor House, it is for Professor McGonagall to determine the appropriate action.

Ron [sadly] We'll go and get our stuff, then.

Professor Minerva McGonagall What are you talking about, Mr. Weasley?

Ron You're going to expell us, aren't you?

Professor Minerva McGonagall Not today, Mr. Weasley.

[Harry and Ron look at each other happily]

Professor Minerva McGonagall But I must impress on both of you the seriousness of what you have done. I will be writing to your families tonight, and you will both receive detention.

[Harry and Ron are downcast; they turn to Snape, who glares at them]

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[Harry and Ron leave their suitcases amongst those of all the other students]

Harry Potter See you, Hedwig.

[they start up the stairs]

Harry Potter So a house elf shows up in my bedroom, we can't get through the barrier to Platform Nine and Three Quarters, we almost get killed by a tree! Clearly someone doesn't want me here this year.

[they stop short to see Filch the caretaker standing in front of them at the top of the stairs; Mrs. Norris, laying in Filch's arms, glares at them with her red eyes]

Argus Filch Take a good look, lads. This night might well be the last you spend in this castle.

[Harry and Ron frown at each other, then look back at Filch]

Argus Filch [mockingly] Oh, dear, we are in trouble.

[smiles evilly]

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Dobby [from trailer] Harry Potter! Such an honor, it is.

[bows]

Harry Who are you?

Dobby Dobby the house-elf.

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Dobby [from trailer] Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts this year! If Harry Potter goes back to school, he will be in great danger!

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Dumbledore [from trailer] Hogwarts is no longer safe. The chamber of secrets has been... opened.

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Ron [from trailer] Harry?

[disguised as Vincent Crabbe]

Harry [disguised as Gregory Goyle] Ron? Excellent.

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Harry Potter [Dobby has just made Aunt Petunia's cake float in midair; horrified] Dobby, please, no!

Dobby Harry Potter must say he's not going back to school.

Harry Potter I can't. Hogwarts is my *home*!

Dobby [smiles tragically] Then, Dobby must do it, sir... for Harry Potter's own good.

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Ron [about his family owl, Errol, who landed into a bowl of rice pudding, sending bits of pudding and chips all over the table] Bloody bird's a menace!

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Tom Marvolo Riddle Yes, Potter, the process is nearly complete. In a few minutes, Ginny Weasley will be dead. And I will cease to be a memory. Lord Voldemort will return... very... much... alive.

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Draco Malfoy [from trailer] Scared, Potter?

Harry Potter You wish.

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[repeated line]

Dumbledore Is there anything you wish to tell me?

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Oliver Wood We're going to train longer, harder, and stronger.

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[Harry wakes up in the hospital wing to find Dobby sitting on the end of his hospital bed]

Dobby [smiles] Hello!

Harry Potter [shocked] Dobby?

Dobby Harry Potter should have listened to Dobby. Harry Potter should have gone back home when he missed the train!

Harry Potter It was you. *You* stopped the barrier from letting Ron and me through!

Dobby [piteously] Indeed. Yes, sir.

Harry Potter You nearly got Ron and me expelled!

Dobby At least you would be away from here!

[jumps up and stands on Harry's bed as Harry leans back away from him, clutching his wounded arm]

Dobby [pleadingly] Harry Potter must go home! Dobby thought his Bludger would be enough to make Harry Potter see...

Harry Potter [suddenly angry] *Your* Bludger? *You* made that Bludger chase after me?

Dobby [still piteous] Harry was most aggrieved, sir. Dobby had to iron his hands.

[Dobby shows Harry his hands, which are red and heavily bandaged in gauze]

Harry Potter [threateningly] You better clear off before my bones come back, Dobby, or I might strangle you!

[Dobby reacts in fear and quickly jumps off the bed and lands back first on the floor; Harry gets out of bed, still holding his wounded arm]

Dobby [backing away and clutching the bed leg] Dobby is used to death threats, sir. Dobby gets them five times a day at home.

Harry Potter [interrogatively] I don't suppose you could tell me *why* you're trying to kill me?

Dobby Not kill you, sir! Never kill you! Dobby remembers how it was before Harry Potter *triumphed* over He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named! We house elves were treated like vermin, sir. Of course, Dobby is still treated like vermin!

[overcome with emotion, Dobby breaks down in tears and clasps his hands over his eyes as he cries noisily; Harry looks on with sympathy; Dobby blows his nose twice on his pillow case]

Harry Potter [slightly disgusted] Why do you wear that thing, Dobby?

Dobby [clutching his pillow case] This, sir? 'Tis the mark of a house elf's enslavement. Dobby can only be freed if his master presents him with clothes.

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Dobby [about his bout of inflicting harm on himself] Dobby had to punish himself, sir. Dobby almost spoke ill of his family, sir.

Harry Potter Your family?

Dobby [sits on Harry's chair and looks directly into Harry's eyes] The wizard family that Dobby serves, sir. Dobby is bound to serve one family forever... if they ever knew Dobby was here! Oooh! But Dobby had to come. Dobby must tell Harry Potter. To warn him...

[whispers]

Dobby Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this year! There is a plot.

[looks around anxiously]

Dobby A plot to make most *terrible* things happen!

Harry Potter What terrible things? Who's plotting them?

Dobby [gasps, then makes pained facial expressions while talking through his teeth] He... can't... say!

[Dobby begins to make noises, as though arguing with himself]

Harry Potter [trying to be calm] Okay, I understand... you can't say.

[Dobby jumps onto Harry's desk, grabs a lamp and turns it upside down. With a low grunt, he repeatedly hits his head with the base of the lamp, squealing and yelping in pain]

Harry Potter [trying to sound calm] Dobby? Dobby, put the lamp down!

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Uncle Vernon I'm warning you. If you can't control that bloody bird, it'll have to go.

Harry But she's bored! If I could only let her out for an hour or two...

Uncle Vernon [chuckles] So you can send secret messages to your freaky little friends, no sir.

Harry I haven't had any messages... from any of my friends. Not one all summer.

Dudley Dursley Who'd want to be friends with you?

[nudges Harry out of way]

Uncle Vernon I should think you'd be a little more grateful. We've raised you since you were a baby. We've given you the food at our table, you even have Dudley's second bedroom, clearly out of the goodness of our hands.

Aunt Petunia Dursley [as Dudley tries to steal some cake] Not now, Popkins! It's for when the Msons are on.

Uncle Vernon Which should be any minute!

[gestures everyone towards him]

Uncle Vernon Now, let's go over our schedule once again, shall we? Petunia, when the Masons arrive, you will be-?

Aunt Petunia Dursley In the lounge, waiting to welcome them graciously to our home!

Uncle Vernon Good. And Dudley, you will be-?

Dudley Dursley [in an accent] I'll be waiting to open the door.

Uncle Vernon Excellent!

[he, Aunt Petunia, and Dudley walk toward Harry]

Uncle Vernon And you?

Harry I'll be in my bedroom. Making no noise and pretending I don't exist.

Uncle Vernon Too right you are. This could well be the biggest day of my career. And you will not mess it up.

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Colin Creevey Hi, Harry!

[takes a photo of Harry]

Colin Creevey I'm Colin Creevey! I'm in Gryffindor too!

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Neville Longbottom Hey, get me down!

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Dumbledore [seeing the message on the wall] Everyone will proceed to the dormitories immediately.

[Students and teachers proceed]

Dumbledore Everyone except

[points to Harry, Hermoine, and Ron]

Dumbledore you three.

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Dumbledore [about Mrs. Norris] She's not dead, Argus. She has been petrified.

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Harry [hearing the Basilisk] What?

Gilderoy Lockhart Sorry?

Harry That voice.

Gilderoy Lockhart Voice?

Harry Didn't you hear it?

Gilderoy Lockhart What are you talking about, Harry?

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Minerva McGonagall [enters the Gryffindor Common Room] Could I have your attention, please? Because of recent events, these new rules will be put into affect immediately.

[reads a scroll]

Minerva McGonagall "All students will return to their house common rooms by six o'clock every evening. All students will be escorted to each lesson by a teacher. No exceptions." I should tell you this: Unless the culprit behind these attacks is caught... it is likely the school will be closed.

[she leaves; Ginny Weasley shows a guilty look; Percy Weasley and Lee Jordan look at each other; Oliver Wood looks concerned]

Harry Potter We've got to talk to Hagrid, Ron. I can't believe it's him, but if he *did* set the monster loose last time, he'll know how to get inside the Chamber of Secrets. That's a start.

Ron Weasley But you heard McGonagall! We're not allowed to leave the tower except for class.

Harry Potter [considers] I think it's time to get my dad's old cloak out again.

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Minerva McGonagall [Dumbledore opens film camera and suddenly *poof*] What can this mean, Albus?

Albus Dumbledore It means... that our students are in great danger.

Minerva McGonagall What should I tell the staff?

Albus Dumbledore The truth. Tell them Hogwarts... is no longer safe. It is as we feared, Minerva. The Chamber of Secrets has indeed been opened again.

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Harry [Tom Riddle] He sounds like a Snitch.

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[repeated line]

Professor McGonagall Could I have your attention, please?

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Man - Moving Picture She's right you know

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[Harry and Ron walk along a corridor while Harry reads a crumpled book page Hermione was holding]

Harry Potter "Many fearsome beasts roam our land, yet none more deadly than the basilisk. Capable of living for hundreds of years, instant death awaits any who meet this giant serpent's eye. Spiders flee before it." Ron, this is it! The monster in the Chamber of Secrets is a basilisk! That's why *I* can hear it speak! It's a snake!

Ron Weasley But if it kills by looking people in the eye, why is it no one's dead?

Harry Potter [pauses and thinks; he and Ron catch their reflections in a window pane] Because no one *did* look it in the eye. Not directly, at least. Colin saw it through his camera. Justin-- Well, Justin must've seen the basilisk through Nearly Headless Nick and Nick got full blast of it, but he's a ghost! He couldn't die *again*! And Hermione... had the mirror. I bet you *anything* she was using it to look around corners in case it came along.

Ron Weasley And Mrs. Norris? I'm pretty sure *she* didn't have a camera or a mirror, Harry.

Harry Potter The water. There was water on the floor that night. She only saw the basilisk's reflection.

[holds up the page; follows Ron to a nearby torch column]

Harry Potter "Spiders flee before it." It all fits!

Ron Weasley But how has the basilisk been getting around? A dirty great snake. *Someone* would've seen it.

Harry Potter [sees the word "pipes" written on the bottom right corner of the page] Hermione's answered that too.

Ron Weasley "Pipes"? It's using the plumbing!

Harry Potter Remember what Aragog said about that girl fifty years ago? She died in a bathroom. What if she never left?

Ron Weasley Moaning Myrtle.

Minerva McGonagall [over loudspeaker] All students are to return to their house dormitories at once. All teachers to the second floor corridor immediately.

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Oliver Wood Professor McGonagall.

Professor Minerva McGonagall This match has been cancelled.

Oliver Wood You can't cancel Quidditch.

Professor Minerva McGonagall Silence, Wood. You and your other teammates will go to the Gryffindor tower now.

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Ron Weasley "Follow the spiders"? "Follow the Spiders"? If Hagrid *ever* gets out of Azkaban, I'll kill him!

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[McGonagall leads Snape, Flitwick, Filch and Madam Pomfrey to the second floor corridor and shows them something on the wall]

Minerva McGonagall As you can see, the Heir of Slytherin has left another message.

[Harry and Ron arrive and eavesdrop from behind the corner]

Minerva McGonagall Our worst fear has been realised. A student has been taken, by the monster, into the Chamber itself!

[sighs sadly]

Minerva McGonagall The students must be sent home. I'm afraid this is the end of Hogwarts.

[Lockhart arrives]

Gilderoy Lockhart So sorry, dozed off. What have I missed?

Severus Snape A girl has been snatched by the monster, Lockhart. Your moment has come at last.

Gilderoy Lockhart M-m-*my* moment?

Severus Snape Weren't you saying just last night you've known all along where the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets is?

[Lockhart stares in utter silence]

Minerva McGonagall Well, that's settled. We'll leave you to deal with the monster, Gilderoy. Your skills, after all, are legend.

Gilderoy Lockhart Very well. I'll, uh, just be in my office, getting, um... getting ready.

[Filch watches him leave with a deranged smile]

Madam Pomfrey Who is it that the monster's taken, Minerva?

Minerva McGonagall Ginny Weasley.

[Harry and Ron are horrified; Ron looks like he's about to cry; the teachers leave; Snape hangs back, then follows; Harry and Ron see the blood-written message on the wall]

Ron Weasley [voice breaking] "Her skeleton will lie in the Chamber forever." Ginny.

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[Harry and Ron, disguised as Crabbe and Goyle, wander the corridors]

Harry Potter [points left] I think the Slytherin Common Room's this way.

Ron Weasley OK.

[they walk a short distance; Ron's brother, Percy, rounds the corner ahead]

Percy Weasley Excuse me!

[they stop and gasp as he approaches]

Ron Weasley What are you doing d--?

[Harry nudges his shoulder]

Ron Weasley [deep voice] Ahem, I mean, what are *you* doing down here?

Percy Weasley *I* happen to be a school prefect. *You*, on the other hand, have no business wandering the corridors at this time of night. What are your names again?

Harry Potter Uh, I'm...

Ron Weasley Uh...

Harry Potter He...

Draco Malfoy [approaching from behind them] Crabbe! Goyle! Where have you two been? Pigging out in the Great Hall all this time?

["Crabbe" nods; Draco turns to face "Goyle"]

Draco Malfoy Why are you wearing glasses?

Harry Potter [takes them off quickly] Oh, um, reading.

Draco Malfoy Reading?

Harry Potter [nods] Mmm-hmm.

Draco Malfoy I didn't know you could read.

[turns to face Percy]

Draco Malfoy And what are *you* doing down here, *Weasley*?

Percy Weasley [venomously] Mind your attitude, Malfoy.

[Draco raises his eyebrows at him, then leaves, followed by Harry and Ron]

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Lee Jordan Another goal for Slytherin!

[rises the score by ten points]

Lee Jordan They lead Gryffindor ninety to thirty!

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[Oliver Wood leads the Gryffindor Quidditch team along a corridor]

Oliver Wood I've spent the entire summer devising a whole new Quidditch program. We are going to train earlier, harder and longer.

[notices something outside]

Oliver Wood What--? I don't believe it.

[they clash with the Slytherin team in the courtyard]

Oliver Wood Where do you think *you're* going, Flint?

Marcus Flint Quidditch practice.

Oliver Wood I booked the pitch for Gryffindor today.

Marcus Flint Easy, Wood. I've got a note.

[hands him a scroll]

Ron Weasley Uh-oh, I smell trouble.

[he and Hermione approach the two teams]

Oliver Wood "I, Professor Severus Snape, do hereby give the Slytherin team permission to practice today, owing to the need to train their new Seeker." You've got a new Seeker? Who?

[Draco steps out from behind Flint]

Harry Potter [in disbelief] Malfoy?

Draco Malfoy That's right. And that's not *all* that's new this year.

[the Gryffindor team eyes the Slytherin team's broomsticks]

Ron Weasley Those are Nimbus 2001s! How did you get *those*?

Marcus Flint A gift from Draco's father.

Draco Malfoy You see, Weasley, unlike some, *my* father can afford the best.

Hermione Granger [spitefully] At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to *buy* their way in! They got in on pure talent.

Draco Malfoy [glares venomously at Hermione] No one asked *your* opinion, you filthy little Mudblood.

[Hermione looks visibly hurt by Draco's words]

Ron Weasley [draws his wand] You'll pay for that one, Malfoy. Eat slugs!

[the spell backfires and Ron flies backwards, landing on the grass; the Slytherin team laughs as Harry, Hermione and the Gryffindor team rushes over to Ron, who gags]

Hermione Granger Are you OK, Ron?

[he gets up on his hands and knees, gagging]

Hermione Granger Say something!

[Ron spews out a big, fat slug; everyone reacts with disgust]

Colin Creevey [takes a photo] Wow! Can you turn him around, Harry?

Harry Potter No, Colin, get out of the way!

[he and Hermione help Ron up]

Harry Potter Let's take him to Hagrid.

[Ron spews out another slug]

Harry Potter He'll know what to do.

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[Christmastime; snow falls in the Great Hall; Hermione joins Harry and Ron at the table]

Hermione Granger Everything's set. We just need a bit of who you're changing into.

Harry Potter Crabbe and Goyle.

Hermione Granger We also need to make sure that the *real* Crabbe and Goyle can't burst in on us while we're interrogating Malfoy.

Ron Weasley How?

Hermione Granger I've got it all worked out.

[produces two vanilla cupcakes with chocolate sprinkles]

Hermione Granger I filled these with a simple Sleeping Draught. Simple...

[sets the cupcakes down on the table]

Hermione Granger ... but powerful. Now, once they're asleep, hide them in the broomstick cupboard and pull out a few of their hairs...

[Harry and Ron look to each other, slightly disgusted]

Hermione Granger ... *and* put on their uniforms.

Ron Weasley Whose hair are *you* ripping out, then?

Hermione Granger I've already got mine.

[produces a small vile with hair inside]

Hermione Granger Millicent Bulstrode, Slytherin. I got this off her robes. I'm going to go check on the Polyjuice Potion.

[holds up the cupcakes]

Hermione Granger Make sure that Crabbe and Goyle find these.

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Albus Dumbledore Before we begin the feast, let us have a round of applause for Professor Sprout, Madam Pomfrey, whose Mandrake juice was successfully administered to all who had been petrified!

[everyone applauds; Professor Sprout nods in thanks]

Albus Dumbledore Also, in light of recent events, as a school treat, all exams have been cancelled!

[everyone applauds even louder; Hermione mouths "Oh, no."]

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Vernon Dursley [drilling bars onto Harry's bedroom window] You're never going back to that school. You're never gonna see those freaky friends of yours again! *Never*!

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Harry Potter It was Hagrid. Hagrid opened the Chamber of Secrets fifty years ago.

Hermione Granger It can't be Hagrid! It just *can't* be!

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[Harry enters the Chamber of Secrets and finds Ginny's body at the far end before the statue of Salazar Slytherin]

Harry Potter [kneels down] Ginny! No, Ginny, please don't be dead! Wake up! Wake up! Please wake up!

Tom Riddle [steps out from the shadows] She won't wake.

[approaches Harry]

Harry Potter Tom! Tom Riddle! What do you mean, she won't wake? She's not...?

Tom Riddle She's still alive, but only just.

Harry Potter Are you a ghost?

Tom Riddle A memory, preserved in a diary for fifty years.

Harry Potter [touches Ginny's hand] She's as cold as ice.

[Tom slowly reaches for Harry's wand and picks it up]

Harry Potter Ginny, please don't be dead. Wake up. You've got to help me, Tom. There's a basilisk.

Tom Riddle It won't come until it's called.

Harry Potter [stands up and holds out his hand] Give me my wand, Tom.

Tom Riddle You won't be needing it.

Harry Potter Listen, we've got to go! We've got to save her!

Tom Riddle I'm afraid I can't do that, Harry. You see, as poor Ginny grows weaker, I grow stronger. Yes, Harry. It was Ginny Weasley who opened the Chamber of Secrets.

Harry Potter No. She couldn't! She *wouldn't*!

Tom Riddle It was Ginny who set the basilisk on the Mudbloods and Filch's cat, Ginny who wrote the threatening messages on the walls!

Harry Potter But why?

Tom Riddle Because I *told* her to. You'll find that I can be very... persuasive, not that she knew what she was doing. She was, shall we say, in a kind of trance? Still, the power of the diary began to scare her, and she tried to dispose of it in the girls' bathroom, and then, who should find it, but you? The very person I was most anxious to meet!

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Harry Potter It was Hagrid. Hagrid opened the Chamber of Secrets fifty years ago.

Hermione Granger It *can't* be Hagrid, it just *can't* be!

Ron Weasley We don't even know this Tom Riddle. He sounds like a dirty, rotten snitch to me.

Harry Potter The monster had killed somebody, Ron. What would any of us have done?

Hermione Granger Look, Hagrid's our friend. Why don't we just go and ask him about it?

Ron Weasley [sarcastically] That'd be a cheerful visit. "Hello, Hagrid. Tell us, have you been setting anything mad and hairy loose in the castle lately?"

Rubeus Hagrid [right behind them] "Mad and hairy"? You wouldn't be talking about me now, would ya?

Harry Potter Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger: No!

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Tom Riddle How is it that a baby with no extraordinary magical talent was able to defeat the greatest wizard of all time? How did you escape with nothing but a scar while Lord Voldemort's powers were destroyed?

Harry Potter Why do you care how I escaped? Voldemort was after your time.

Tom Riddle Voldemort *is* my past, present and future.

[uses Harry's wand to write his name "Tom Marvolo Riddle" in the air; with a wave of the wand, the sizzling fiery letters rearrange themselves to spell the words "I am Lord Voldemort" before vanishing]

Harry Potter You! You're the heir of Slytherin!

[Riddle stares into his eyes]

Harry Potter You're Voldemort.

Tom Riddle Surely... you didn't think... I was going to keep my filthy Muggle father's name? No. I fashioned myself a new name, a name I knew wizards everywhere would one day fear to speak when I became the greatest sorcerer in the world!

Harry Potter Albus Dumbledore is the greatest sorcerer in the world!

Tom Riddle Dumbledore's been driven out of this castle by the mere memory of me!

Harry Potter He'll never be gone! Not as long as those who remain are loyal to him!

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Aragog Who is it?

Harry Potter [to Ron] Don't panic.

Aragog Hagrid? Is that you?

Harry Potter We're friends of Hagrid.

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Neville Longbottom Harry! I don't know who did it, but you better come! Come on!

[Harry, Ron and Hermione follow Neville to the Gryffindor Common Room; the boys' bedroom is littered with broken glass and shredded paper; Harry desperately searches amongst a small pile of books on the floor]

Hermione Granger It had to be a Gryffindor. Nobody else knows our password... unless it wasn't a student.

Ron Weasley Whoever it was, they must've been looking for something.

Harry Potter And they found it. Tom Riddle's diary is gone.

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Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Movie Quotes