Bedtime Stories Movie Quotes
Mickey
Look's like Bugsy's eaten a lot of burgers in the last ten minutes.
Skeeter Bronson
Wow!
Mickey
He keeps going like that, we could make bacon out of Bugsy.
[Bugsy looks at them]
Skeeter Bronson
He's kidding, Bugsy. Take it easy.
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Luau Waitress
Kona coffee ice cream.
Skeeter Bronson
Yeah? What's the catch? You're gonna light it on fire? 'Cause I'm on to you, honey.
Luau Waitress
No fire. It would melt. Just take the ice cream and a chill pill.
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Marty Bronson
Your fun is only limited by your imagination.
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Skeeter Bronson
What's on my head?
Patrick
Bugsy.
Skeeter Bronson
Why do you call him Bugsy?
Patrick
Because of his eyes.
Skeeter Bronson
Well let's see his eyes.
[sees Bugsy's huge eyes and screams]
Skeeter Bronson
Wow! Those eyes would be big on a cow!
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Skeeter Bronson
Okay, I'll do it. But you gotta say ''Skeeter's the coolest, I'm the nerd''.
Wendy
"Skeeter's the coolest, I'm the nerd"?
Skeeter Bronson
Yeah you are!
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Mickey
[after Skeeter has just thrown ketchup at him]
you know what? Ketchup is GOOD for you! It exfoliates the skin, so who's the real victim here? YOU ARE!
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Violet Nottingham
You, truth or dare?
Patrick
Truth.
Violet Nottingham
How old were you the first time you kissed a girl?
Bobbi
Patrick never kissed a girl.
Patrick
Girls are ick, except for Tricia Sparks.
Violet Nottingham
Ohh, this Tricia Sparks, is she a girl in your class?
Bobbi
Aunt Jill, did you get our message?
Jill
Yes I did, and now it is time for you to get ready for school. Oh my gosh you are...
Violet Nottingham
Yes, and here is you fat rat. And you, I expect to hear all about this Tricia Sparks next time I see you.
Jill
Tricia Sparks is two years older than you.
Patrick
She's hot.
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Skeeter Bronson
His name was Mr. Underappreciated.
Patrick
What is underdemeciated?
Skeeter Bronson
What?
Patrick
Underdemeciated?
Skeeter Bronson
That's right, I forgot, you're 6, well his name was Sir Fix-a-lot.
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Skeeter Bronson
[to his sister]
I don't know anything about plants except that *you* make cakes out of them!
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Chief Running Mouth
[Turns suddenly to Skeeter as Native American music plays]
My ancestors believed horse spirit come down from mountain, during time of fire, wind. Many brave warrior walk trail of moon bear...
Skeeter Bronson
Yeah I just wanna see the horse; I don't need all this.
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Patrick
[eating hamburgers for the first time] Mom's going to kill us.
Skeeter Bronson
No she's not, two reasons, one she's not going to find out, two, when your mom was little she ate hamburgers all the time in this room.
Patrick and Bobbi
She did?
Skeeter Bronson
Yep.
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Skeeter Bronson
[looking over the kids' storybooks]
What do ya got here, anyways? "Rainbow Alligator Saves the Wetlands"? Uh, no. "The Organic Squirrel Gets a Bike Helmet"? I'm not reading these Communist books to you guys! Don't you got any *real* stories?
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Bobbi
We thought you were supposed to be the good guy.
Skeeter Bronson
So did I.
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Skeeter Bronson
You mind sleeping over? I'm gonna duck out a few hours.
Mickey
Oh, yeah, yeah. Mmm. By the way, um... I am, uh, legally obliged to tell you that I suffer from... sleep panic disorder.
Skeeter Bronson
OK, what's, uh, sleep panic disorder?
Mickey
Believe me, you don't want to know.
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Tricia Sparks
Uh, Patrick, hi. I'm Trisha Sparks. I just wanted you to know that... thanks for saving the school.
Skeeter Bronson
Western. Go western!
Patrick
No thanks necessary, ma'am.
Skeeter Bronson
That's my boy. That's my boy.
Tricia Sparks
There must be some way for me to show my appreciation.
Skeeter Bronson
Oh-ho-ho! Get it.
[Trisha kisses Patrick]
Skeeter Bronson
Ooh! Hoo-hoo-hoo!
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[as she watches Skeeter and Barry Nottingham hug]
Donna Hynde
That is so sweet... and creepy.
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Mickey
I can't read.
[Buggsy laughingly squeaks at him]
Mickey
Shut up, Buggsy. Yeah? I got opposable thumbs. How do you feel about that?
[Buggsy stops]
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Jill
I had to park all the way down the block.
Skeeter Bronson
Oh well. Next time why don't you park in that box
[Points to Jill's large gift]
Skeeter Bronson
Plenty o' room in there.
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Skeeter Bronson
Haven't you heard? Goofy is the new handsome.
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Skeeter Bronson
I don't know but it's been said, Bugsy's eyes pop out of his head, march, march, march.
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Wendy
Don't talk to them about school.
Skeeter Bronson
Why not?
Wendy
They're closing it down. I'm getting laid off.
Skeeter Bronson
No way! You? But you're like the classic school principle! I mean you're scary and bad with people...
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Skeeter Bronson
Good thing my wallet only had three dollars in it. And my Derek Jeter baseball card!
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Skeeter Bronson
What the heck did you do that for?
Angry Dwarf
Because I'm angry.
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Wendy
Hey, isn't she a little old for you?
Patrick
She's hot.
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Skeeter Bronson
*Mumbling*
Mickey
Jumping up and down on the alligator.
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Little Boy
What's in that bag?
Skeeter Bronson
Chocolate Chip Cookie.
Little Boy
[Grabs the bag] FOOD!
[Runs off with kids following him]
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Skeeter Bronson
So Sir Fix-a-lot moved into a giant shoe
[shows Sir Fix-a-lot living in a giant Chuck Taylor shoe]
Skeeter Bronson
developed a case of athlete's face, threw himself in the moat and fed himself to the crocodiles.
[as Sir Fix-a-lot, grumbling]
Skeeter Bronson
Oh what the heck?
[jumps in]
Skeeter Bronson
The end.
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Young Wendy
Way too hyper.
Young Skeeter
The galaxy's not big enough for the both of us.
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Barry Nottingham
Do you realize germs can reproduce 80 percent faster in bright light?
Skeeter Bronson
Oh, OK. Here we go, nice and dark again.
[Skeeter turns the lights off]
Skeeter Bronson
The germs are confused.
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Skeeter Bronson
Happy birthday there, Bobbi.
Patrick
I'm Patrick. She's Bobbi.
Skeeter Bronson
Oh, my bad. Got you a little something. Happy birthday, Bobbi. Here you go. Picked it up at the hotel.
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Skeeter Bronson
Happy birthday, Bobbi!
[Hands her bags]
Skeeter Bronson
Picked this up at the hotel.
[leaves]
Bobbi
[pulling items out of the bag]
Shampoo? Soap?
Patrick
[pulling items out of the bag]
A hanger and a towel?
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