Definitely, Maybe 2008 - Movie Quotes

April Oooh? What are you gonna say?

Will Hayes I'm still working on it I don't know

April OH! You should work it on with me you should practice with me; I'm really good at that.

[Walks over to the railing]

April I'll be Emily.

April I'm Emily your college sweetheart is there something you wanted to ask me?

Will Hayes Emily...

April Wait! You gotta get down on your knee

Will Hayes No I'm not getting down on my knee

April [Walks towards Will] She'll like it; she'll like seeing you down on your knee...

Will Hayes I'm not getting down on my knee

April [Rolls her eyes and walks back to the railing and turns around] Such a mistake! Okay

Will Hayes Emily...

April Yes William?

Will Hayes Don't make me laugh! Emily will you... um... marry me?

April No

Will Hayes Oh my god...

April What do you mean, 'Will you, um, marry me?' I haven't seen you in weeks! You don't look happy or excited about the prospect of our marriage! You're asking me to give up my - my freedom, my joie de vivre for an institution that fails as often as it succeeds? And why should I marry you anyway? I mean, why do you wanna marry me? Besides some bourgeois desire to fulfil an ideal that society embeds in us from an early age to promote a consumer capitalist agenda?

Will Hayes Oh! Oh, my God.

April You should've got on your knee.

Will Hayes Just shut up! Here... I wanna marry you because you're the first person I wanna look at when I wake up in the morning, and the only one I wanna kiss goodnight. Because the first time that I saw these hands, I couldn't imagine not being able to hold them. But mainly, when you love someone as much as I love you, getting married is the only thing left to do. So, will you, um, marry me?

April Definitely. Maybe.

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Maya Hayes Dad, I can't believe you smoked... and drank... and was such a slut... But I still love you.

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[Maya and Sarah are walking away, Maya turns around]

Maya Hayes Dad!

[Will turns around, Maya runs to him, Will kneels]

Maya Hayes Thanks for telling me the story.

Will Hayes You're welcome. I didn't tell you the happy ending.

Maya Hayes [getting tears] What is it?

Will Hayes You.

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Will Hayes I kept the book...

April Yeah?

Will Hayes Because it was the only thing that I had left of you.

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Will Hayes I had two serious girlfriends... and then some other smattering of other women.

[Notices Maya looking strangely at him]

Will Hayes What?

Maya Hayes What's the boy word for 'slut'?

Will Hayes They still haven't come up with one yet. But I'm sure they're working on it.

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Maya Hayes What's a threesome?

Will Hayes It's a game, that adults play sometimes... When they're bored.

Maya Hayes ...Whatever.

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Maya Hayes Poor April. Just like the character in the story. Who's always been the friend then she realized she doesn't just want to be the friend she wants to be the *girl*friend. Except it's too late.

Will Hayes What do you mean?

Maya Hayes Weren't you listening? She came home for you.

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Maya Hayes You're right, it is complicated, isn't it? I mean, you're in love with April, who used to be in love with Lucas, and then she fell in love with you, but you were in love with Summer, who was always really in love with Hampton, and now that you're in love with April she's in love with Kevin... and no one's in love with you. That's complicated.

Will Hayes Yep.

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Bookstore Owner #1 Jane Eyre. Random House 1943. Um it's a beautiful edition known for the um cover illustration. But there's a real nice dedication inside with a quote from the book. "To my darling daughter, April. The human heart has hidden treasures, in secret kept"

Will Hayes Will Hayes, Bookstore Owner #1: "in silence sealed."

Will Hayes "The thought, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures, whose charms were broken if revealed. From you loving father."

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Maya Hayes I really liked Summer. I can't believe she turned out to be such a...

Will Hayes Heartbreaker?

Maya Hayes No...

Will Hayes Opportunist?

Maya Hayes Uh-uh...

Will Hayes Double-crossing...

Maya Hayes Bitch.

Will Hayes Maya!

Maya Hayes How could she do that to you?

Will Hayes Like she said, if she didn't write it someone else would've. It was the truth.

Maya Hayes So did she? Did she break it?

Will Hayes What?

[Maya points to her heart. Will smiles and kisses her cheek]

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Maya Hayes How come you changed all names except hers?

Will Hayes What do you mean?

Maya Hayes In the story, you know like mom became Emily, and Summer's that Natasha lady who writes for that magazine... But you didn't change April's. Why?

Will Hayes Why - Why are you so concerned with this anyway?

Maya Hayes Because I want you to be happy.

Will Hayes You know, I'm happy.

Maya Hayes Trust me, dad. You're not happy.

Will Hayes [Long pause] Put on your coat.

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April You and me, it'd kinda be like cats and dogs.

Will Hayes Oil and water.

April Sand paper and bare ass.

Will Hayes That's gross.

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Maya Hayes Hold it! Stop, stop right there! You smoked?

Will Hayes No!... Yeah. But... I didn't mean to tell you that. Listen, I was young and I was stupid, and I haven't smoked in years, I promise you.

Maya Hayes Is there anything *else* you should tell me?

Will Hayes Probably... not.

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Will Hayes Fine, I'm gonna tell you the story, but I'm not telling you who your mom is.

Maya Hayes Fine!

Will Hayes You're just gonna have to figure it out for yourself.

Maya Hayes Good!

Will Hayes And I'm changing all of the names, and some of the facts. I just decided that right now. Then we'll see how smart you are.

Maya Hayes It like it, it's like a love story mystery.

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Maya Hayes Did you know that 35 people try to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge each year, most because of broken hearts?

Will Hayes I'll keep that in mind.

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April Pack of American Eagles, blue, please.

Simon 4.25.

Will Hayes 4.25? You pay four dollars and twenty-five cents for a pack of cigarettes?

April They don't put as many chemicals in them.

Will Hayes So those are healthy cigarettes.

April Something like that.

Will Hayes So, if there's not as many chemicals in them they should cost less, not more, don't you think?

April They put saltpeter in your cigarettes, which make them burn faster, which make you smoke more. Which means, at the end of the day, your cigarettes actually cost more, not less.

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Maya Hayes I'm guessing you weren't her first boyfriend. Maybe it was some nerdy guy, or maybe he was mean. Or maybe, you were friends for the longest time, and then just when you were about to put your penis in somebody else's vagina...

Will Hayes Okay. Good night Maya.

Maya Hayes ...you realized Mom was the only one for you!

Will Hayes Bedtime!

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April Come on let's dance.

Will Hayes No

April Why?

Will Hayes Ok

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Summer Hartley Dumped me for a sophomore. Told me it was for my own good.

Will Hayes Everybody seems to be using that line these days.

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April I don't know and I don't know how to know, you know?

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Maya Hayes If Summer does turn out to be my mother, I'm running away to Canada. I am *not* kidding.

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April You know what's really cool?

Will Hayes I don't.

April We can just sit hear and not have to worry about flirting, or all the attraction stuff.

Will Hayes Yea, all that stuff...

April Very cool.

[long pause]

Will Hayes Yea...

April April, Will Hayes: [make out for about 10 seconds then freeze]

Will Hayes [sits up]

Will Hayes I got to go

Will Hayes [quickly leaves]

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Will Hayes You think it's ridiculous that I want to be a politician, don't you?

April [laughing] Yes.

Will Hayes Thank you.

April No, no, I get the whole politician thing. It's easy to like you.

Will Hayes That's true, that's very true.

April I just wonder if you want people to like you a little too much.

Will Hayes That's also true. I should want them to hate me. I'm gonna start working on that right away, you got any tips for me?

April [laughing] No, you're off to a great start, I'm hating you already.

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Will Hayes This song is an excellent cure for the will to live.

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Will Hayes [hands Summer a bouquet of flowers] These are for you.

Summer Hartley Oh, Will! Oh, they're beautiful. So are you.

Will Hayes Summer. Don't mess with me. I can see where you're going with this. In a second you're going to say something impossibly charming.

Summer Hartley Really?

Will Hayes Yeah, it's gonna be great. And then you're gonna sweep me off my feet, and we all know where that's going.

Summer Hartley [laughing] Can't a girl miss a guy?

Will Hayes Yeah she can, but I just don't really have time for the pain.

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[about an article Summer has written about Will's boss]

Will Hayes There's one part that kinda bothered me. "William Hayes, Robredo's chief speech writer, is both intense and boyishly handsome." *Boyishly*?

Summer Hartley Yeah, you know I originally wrote "William Hayes has seductive eyes and the intriguing looks of someone whose clothes you want to rip from his very body", but the editor made me change it.

Will Hayes There's just no room for truth in journalism.

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Maya Hayes I love penguins.

Emily Me, too.

Will Hayes Me, three.

Maya Hayes Did you know that penguins mate for life? Although, Mr. Monell told us that sometimes the husband and wife penguins get separated because of their migraine patterns.

Will Hayes Will Hayes, Emily: Migratory.

Maya Hayes Well, sometimes they're apart for years, but they almost always find each other. Do you know what the husband and wife penguins do after they find each other after all that time? Throw back their heads, flap their flippers, and sing as loud as they can!

[imitating a penguin]

Maya Hayes Wah wah wah!

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['Story Will' has just bumped in to Summer, who's pregnant. Flash back to present]

Maya Hayes Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

Will Hayes What?

Maya Hayes Telling me this story, this mystery love story. What if I don't like who my mom is?

Will Hayes Of course you like who your mom is. And you don't have to wait long to find out, because that very night...

Maya Hayes Its Summer, isn't it? And you're not my father! No wonder you didn't want to be with her.

Will Hayes Take it easy, Maya. It's just a story. And this one has a happy ending.

Maya Hayes [fighting back tears] How does it have a happy ending? You and my mom, whoever she is, you're getting divorced! What's the happy in that?

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[about Clinton's affair]

Russell T. McCormack Arms for oil, no problem. But a little 'oral-ness' and you're headed for impeachment.

Will Hayes Maybe he should be impeached.

Kelly Whoa, whoa, whoa, you did not just say that!

[Russell, Gareth and Anne make similar exclamations]

April You love him!

Will Hayes We all did! We thought he was gonna be different then the other jokers, but this guy, he can't even define the word 'is'! What happens if they give him one of the hard words, like 'truth'?

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[about Hampton Roth]

Summer Hartley He died last year. You heard?

Will Hayes I read about it in the Times. Died in his office. Heart attack?

Summer Hartley Yeah.

Will Hayes I always imagined that he'd make a more theatrical exit.

Summer Hartley What they didn't say was he was on the couch with the dean's daughter.

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Maya Hayes What's the boy word for slut?

Will Hayes They still haven't come up with one yet.

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Summer Hartley You know what I've never done? I've never spent the whole day in bed with a really great guy.

Will Hayes Me neither.

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April So Emily is what, like your college sweetheart?

Will Hayes It's amazing how you do that.

April What?

Will Hayes The way you take the simplest statement and then you twist it with a completely negative connotation. It's really, actually, impressive.

April [laughing] I didn't mean to do that. I actually think it's very sweet.

Will Hayes See, you did it again!

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Hampton Roth Beauty, ideals, love, don't mean squat anymore. It's all about power and money.

Will Hayes I've read every single one of your books and you're completely obsessed with power and money.

Summer Hartley Oh, well that's because he doesn't have any. Right, babe?

Hampton Roth Babe, I am about the love.

Summer Hartley Oh. Yes.

Hampton Roth As you know, that's why you keep me around, to keep that rampant rapacious ambition of yours in check.

[to Will]

Hampton Roth I have a thought! Why don't you use that newly acquired scintilla of power and influence to get Summer here to write an article about your man Robredo? That way Summer gets a break, and you get the word out.

Will Hayes And what do you get, Hampton?

Summer Hartley Yeah!

Hampton Roth Well, I guess it's the love. More of the love.

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Will Hayes That's Hampton Roth! He's an incredible writer! His book on the McGovern campaign is...

Summer Hartley Yeah.

Will Hayes And you...

Summer Hartley Yeah. We do. Look, have you ever actually had sex with a sexagenarian?

Will Hayes I haven't.

Summer Hartley Well then, you shouldn't really judge.

Will Hayes Well, actually, I'm not judging. Look at you. You're beautiful, you're sophisticated, you're a very talented writer.

Summer Hartley Thank you.

Will Hayes I mean, to please a woman like you it wouldn't obviously take a...

Summer Hartley Real man.

Will Hayes Exactly. Hard to compete with that.

Summer Hartley Well, unless you're the competitive type.

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Will Hayes Summer tells me you're dating a sophomore.

Hampton Roth No, its two freshman. Which, on a good day, add up to a sophomore, I suppose.

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Will Hayes I haven't had sex since Clinton was re-elected.

April Why bother? He's having enough sex for the entire country.

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[wanting her dad to tell her the story of how he and her mother met]

Maya Hayes Tell me how it happened. And the real story, not the "Oh, we met, we fell in love, and we decided to take all that love and make a family, and that's how we made you."

Will Hayes You know something? I'm going to tell you the real, true story of how me and your mother met.

Maya Hayes When I'm old enough.

Will Hayes Yep.

Maya Hayes Look, I know love isn't a fairy tale.

Will Hayes Really?

Maya Hayes Really.

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Charlie I can't believe you're letting him go. I mean, don't you know about New York girls? Besides being incredibly hot, they have no problem with casual sex, which by the way I totally respect.

Emily What if Charlie's right?

Will Hayes Charlie's never right. He's functionally retarded.

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Hampton Roth It's killing me that you're going out with the kid.

Summer Hartley Really? It's not the booze or the cigarettes or the sophomores?

Hampton Roth That has nothing to do with this.

Summer Hartley Nothing to do with it.

Hampton Roth Listen, I want you to know I've donated my organs to medical science except for one, which is for you.

Summer Hartley Sweetie, that's so kind.

[looks down towards the torso]

Hampton Roth No, no, not that.

[points to his chest]

Hampton Roth My heart, stupid.

[Summer laughs]

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Will Hayes You should go to life rehab or something like that.

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April You're the toilet paper guy.

Will Hayes Yes, I am in fact the toilet paper guy, but feel free to cal me the bagel-and-coffee guy. Or, Todd in accounting calls me Chrystal, which I'm pretty sure is a girl's name.

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Hampton Roth Please tell me you're not in love with him

Summer Hartley I can't do that.

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April Don't make me staple your head.

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[after Emily turns down his proposal, and admits she slept with Will's roommate]

Will Hayes I thought we had a plan.

Emily No, Will, you had a plan. Will, you have a really big plan.

Will Hayes No, I'm pretty sure we both had that plan...

Emily I just can't keep pretending that I want to be part of it anymore.

Will Hayes Uh, you were there when we made it, so...

Emily And I didn't know how to tell you. How do you tell someone that you care about that you don't want the things that they want anymore?

Will Hayes The best way? Definitely having sex with the roommate.

Emily That was cowardly. And I'm sorry.

Will Hayes Oh. Good. You're killing me.

Emily No, I'm not. I'm letting you go. Cause if we stay together, Will, we're gonna be miserable. I'm gonna hold you back from all these incredible dreams that you have. And then eventually you're totally gonna hate me for it.

Will Hayes No...

Emily Yes! Will, I don't want that. And you don't want that. Trust me. You're gonna be just fine, Mr. Hayes. Without me.

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[after convincing Will to try on a racy shirt]

Summer Hartley You know, it really isn't so bad.

Will Hayes You know what the funny part is? It's a thousand dollars.

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April And it felt life changing and - and I realized I had to tell someone. When I realized who that person was, it was so unexpected.

Ring Salesman [the Ring Salesman enters and presents a ring to Will] Here we are sir.

April It's like when something is staring at you in the face. And you're too blind to

[April notices the ring]

April see it. What's that?

Will Hayes ...I have some news for you too.

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Hampton Roth What do you do now? Wait, don't tell me. You work for your daddy.

Will Hayes No.

Hampton Roth No, don't tell me! Wall street. No! You kiss ass some fancy uptown law firm.

Will Hayes Actually...

Hampton Roth No! I give up. What do you do?

Will Hayes I'm working for Bill Clinton. He's running for President.

Hampton Roth [gives a shock look] No. I know who Bill Clinton is. Yeah, in fact. I know more about Bill Clinton than his own mother.

[hands glass to Will and pours him a drink]

Will Hayes Really?

Hampton Roth Yep.

Will Hayes What do you do?

Hampton Roth What do I do? I drink!

[clings glass with his glass]

Hampton Roth Drink!

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[Will accidentally staples his finger]

Will Hayes Jesus Murphy!

[to a random girl beside him]

Will Hayes What am I doing here? Move over! Another foot, go! Over, over, over! I wrote three speeches for Congressman Sweeney. How's high school?

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Hampton Roth [Will knocks on the door] Who is it?

Will Hayes Will Hayes. I called earlier.

Hampton Roth You a Jehovah's Witness?

Will Hayes No.

Hampton Roth Christ, your tall.

[unlocks and opens door]

Will Hayes Hi.

Hampton Roth [pulls up reading glasses and looks at Will harder] Come in.

Will Hayes Ok.

Hampton Roth Close the door behind you.

[Will closes the door]

Hampton Roth Lock it!

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Will Hayes You see, I don't want a fling. I want the real deal.

April Forget about the real deal. You don't find *it*. *It* finds *you*.

Will Hayes What does that mean? I don't know what that means.

April It means that you get to a certain age, and then you're ready. You know, you're ready for... kids, or a commitment, or, you know...

Café Gitane Night Waitress Sir?

Will Hayes Yeah.

April ...a mortgage.

Will Hayes The table's ready.

April Okay. You know what I mean? And the person that you're with then, they become the one.

Will Hayes So you're saying it's not who, but it's when.

April Exactly.

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Hampton Roth [to Will] Be a man.

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Hampton Roth Can I have a cigarette? Just a dying man's last request.

Summer Hartley Not happening. God, you're such a drama queen. Nobody's dying. What do you care if I'm in love with him, huh? You're the one who set us up, remember.

Hampton Roth Yeah, well, I kind of figured you'd chew him up and spit him out.

Summer Hartley You're such a sweetie. You're a sweet guy, you know that?

Hampton Roth I read the Robredo piece.

Summer Hartley Yeah.

Hampton Roth The guy's been in New York politics for over 20 years and all you can dig up is that his daughter had an eating disorder?

Summer Hartley What are you saying, Hampton?

Hampton Roth Do your job.

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Definitely, Maybe Movie Quotes