The Draughtsman's Contract Movie Quotes
Mr. Neville
You must forgive my curiosity, madam, and open your knees.
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Mr. Neville
Why is that Dutchman waving his arms about? Is he homesick for windmills?
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Mr. Neville
Madame, who is this child who walks the garden with such a solemn look on his face?
Mrs. Talmann
That is my husband's nephew, Mr. Neville.
Mr. Neville
He attracts servants like a little midget king. What is his patrimony, madame?
Mrs. Talmann
His father was killed at Aufbergensfeld. His mother became a Catholic so my husband had him brought to England.
Mr. Neville
To be raised as a little Protestant?
Mrs. Talmann
He was an orphan, Mr. Neville, and needed to be looked after.
Mr. Neville
An orphan, madame, because his mother became a Catholic?
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Mr. Neville
I'm surprised, delighted. I am overwhelmed.
Mrs. Herbert
Mr. Neville, I will take all three states of your satisfaction into consideration.
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[to his nephew Augustus]
Mr. Talmann
Chasing sheep is a tiresome habit best left to shepherds.
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Mrs. Talmann
Your inventory, Louis, is unlimited. Like your long, clean, white breeches, there is nothing of substance in either of them.
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Mr. Neville
Why doesn't your husband have the moat cleaned out?
Mrs. Herbert
He doesn't like to see the fish. Carp live too long - they remind him of Catholics. Besides, from his window, the duckweed could be mistaken for lawn.
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Mrs. Talmann
When your speech is as coarse as your face, Louis, then you sound as impotent by day as you perform by night.
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Mrs. Talmann
She does not fret father, or if she does you well know the cause is your indifference - a house, a garden, a horse, a wife the preferential order.
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Mr. Talmann
The gardens of England are becoming veritable jungles, such exotics are grossly unsuitable. If the Garden of Eden was planned for England, God would have seen to it.
Mr. Neville
The Garden of Eden, Mr. Talmann, was originally intended for Ireland. For it was there, after all, that St. Patrick eradicated the snake.
Mr. Talmann
The only useful eradication that ever happened in Ireland, Mr. Neville, was peformed by William of Orange four years ago on my birthday!
Mr. Neville
And happy birthday to you, Mr. Talmann. And if you are not too old to receive presents, perhaps the gardener and I can find a snake for your Orangerie!
Mr. Talmann
...What?
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Mr. Neville
Well, that was ingenious.
Mrs. Talmann
Since when has adultery been ingenious? You are ridiculous, Mr. Neville.
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[to her husband, Louis Talmann]
Mrs. Talmann
Your speech, Louis, is becoming meteorological.
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[feigning anger]
Mrs. Herbert
Is losing a husband a humiliation, Mr. Neville?
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Mr. Neville
Four garments and a ladder do not lead us to a corpse.
Mrs. Talmann
Mr. Neville, I said nothing about a corpse.
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Mrs. Talmann
I will stay dressed, Mr. Neville; you will not.
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Mr. Noyes
Madam, you are disingenuous beyond words.
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Mr. Seymour
It is said that the Duke de Corsay invited his water mechanic to the top of an elaborate cascade he had built and asked him if he could build such a marvel for anyone else. The man, offering various thanks and pleasantries, finally admitted that with sufficient patronage he probably could. The Duke de Corsay pushed him gently in the small of the back, and the wretched man plummeted to a watery death.
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Mr. Talmann
He eats like a vagrant and dresses like a barber!
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Mr. Noyes
Mr. Lucas was a man whose ethusiasms were divided equally between his garden and his children. Whenever his wife conceived, Mr. Lucas planted fruit trees. His wife seldom came to a successful labor, and those children she was blessed with died before weening. Mr. Lucas threatened to cut his trees down but he never did. To date there are eleven trees in his fruit garden - and he knows them all by their Christian names.
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Mrs. Talmann
Your innocence, Mr. Neville, is always sinister.
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[pretending to accuse Mr. Neville of murder]
Mr. Talmann
More than a witness, Mr. Neville - an accessory to misadventure.
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[first lines]
Mr. Noyes
Mr. Chandos was a man who spent more time with his gardener than his wife. They discussed plum trees - ad nauseam. He gave his family and his tennants cause to dread September, for they were regaled with plums till their guts rumbled like thunder and their backsides ached from overuse. He built the chapel at Fouvant, where the pew seats are made of plumwood, so the tennants still have cause to remember Chandos through their backsides - on account of the splinters.
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Mrs. Clement
Some years ago, two gentlemen went back to Amsterdam saying that Allhevingay was just like home. There was so much water - so many ornamental ponds, so many canals, so many sinks and basins. There was even a wind pump. What they had not realized was my father had made his land into a pattern of reservoirs because he was terrified of fire. There was even a room under the front stairs that housed two hundred buckets, all of them filled with water. I know because whenever I was taken short, my brothers and I used to rush in there and use them.
[laughs]
Mrs. Clement
Those buckets were filled before my mother died. I expect them to be still there, with the same water of thirty years ago, I shouldn't wonder - mixed with a little of myself, of course. I used to pee like a horse. I still do.
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Mrs Pierpont
Mr Noyes, do you have a ribauld piece of gossip for me?
Mr. Noyes
I am here to fulfill a role as entertainer, so, I am sure that I could find something for you.
Mrs Pierpont
Then you are here on merit. A characteristic that the company does not share, being here merely to express confidence in one another's money.
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