The Beatles: Yellow Submarine Movie Quotes
Ringo
Hey, I wonder what'll happen if I pull this lever.
Old Fred
Oh, you mustn't do that now.
Ringo
Can't help it. I'm a born "Liver-pooler."
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Paul
Look, it's a school of whales.
Ringo
They look a little bit old for school.
Paul
University then.
Ringo
University of "Wales".
John
They look like drop outs to me.
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Ringo
Liverpool can be a lonely place on a Saturday night, and this is only Thursday morning.
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Jeremy
Ad hoc, ad loc, and quid pro quo! So little time! So much to know!
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Old Fred
Oh! Frankenstein!
Ringo
Yeah, I used to go out with his sister.
Old Fred
His sister?
Ringo
Yeah, Phyllis.
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George
Hey! There's a Cyclops!
Paul
Can't be. It's got two eyes.
John
Must be a "bicycle-ops" then.
Ringo
There's another one.
John
A whole "'cyclopedia"!
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[after Ringo ejects himself from the submarine]
Paul
Poor Ringo.
George
Poor lad.
Paul
Never did no harm to no one.
John
Hey, lads, now that Ringo's gone, what do we do?
Old Fred
Learn to sing trios.
Paul
Naw, let's save the poor devil.
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John
Break the glass.
George
We can't!
Paul
It's Beatle proof.
John
Nothing is Beatle proof!
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Blue Meanie
Are you, er blueish? You don't look blueish.
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Old Fred
Help! Help! Help!
Ringo
Thanks, we don't need any.
Old Fred
Help!
[singing]
Old Fred
Won't you please, please Help me?
Ringo
Be specific.
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John
It's blue glass.
Ringo
Must be from Kentucky.
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[the Beatles are shown as their live action selves]
George
That was one great party. And we brought back some lovely souvenirs.
[takes out a kite string with a wind-up mistaken for a motor]
George
Here's the motor.
Paul
And I've got a little
[the word "love" comes out of his hand]
Paul
love.
Ringo
[takes out a fake hole from his pocket]
And I've got a hole in my pocket.
George
A hole?
Ringo
Well, half a hole anyway. I gave the rest to Jeremy.
George
What can he do with half a hole?
Paul
Fix it to keep his mind from wandering!
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Narrator
Once upon a time, or maybe twice, there was an unearthly paradise called Pepperland. 80,000 leagues beneath the sea it lay, or lie. I'm not too sure.
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George
Maybe time's gone on strike.
Ringo
What for?
George
Shorter hours.
Ringo
I don't blame it. Must be very tiring being time, mustn't it?
George
George, John, Paul: Why?
Ringo
Well, it's a twenty four hour day, isn't it?
John
You surprise me, Ringo.
Ringo
Why?
John
Dealing in abstracts.
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Chief Meanie
Pepperland is a tickle of joy on the blue belly of the universe. It must be scratched. Right, Max?
Max
Yes, your Blueness.
Chief Meanie
WHAT? We Meanies only take "no" for an answer! Is that understood, Max?
Max
No, Your Blueness!
Chief Meanie
That's better!
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Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.
If I spoke prose you'd all find out / I don't know what I talk about.
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John
I am the ego man, goo goo g'joob
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Chief Blue Meanie
Hee, hee hee hee hee! Oh, I haven't laughed so much since Pompeii.
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George
It's all in the mind.
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Chief Meanie
Ah, the hills are alive...
Max
[sings]
... with the sound of music!
Chief Meanie
[Punches Max]
Who did it? Who is responsible for this?
Max
Rimsky-Korsakov?
[Chief Meanie shoots him, Blue Menial #3 stomps him into ground]
Max
[Poking his head up from ground]
Guy Lombardo?
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Ringo
Move over, I'm driving.
George
No, I got here first.
Ringo
We'll drive if you like.
George
No, you sit in the middle.
John
No, I'm sitting in the middle.
George
Who said you were driving?
Ringo
I am driving.
George
I'll get in the back, then.
[they drive off camera]
George
[Crash!]
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George
Okay, instruments at the ready.
John
Okay, on the beat of one, a-two, a-three, a-four, a-five, a-six.
Ringo
Hey, can't you make it three?
John
Oh, all right, on the beat of three: A-one, a-two, a-three.
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[Jeremy is cornered by the Chief Meanie]
Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.
He does, in truth, seem quite annoyed. Some reference material be-be-before I'm destroyed!
[reading]
Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.
"Where ground is soft most often grows, arise! Arise! Arouse! A rose!
[a rose sprouts on the Chief Meanie's nose]
Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.
A rosy nose?
Chief Meanie
Speak your last piece!
Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.
Peace! Peace! Supplant the doom and the gloom! Turn off what is sour! Turn into a flower and bloom! Bloom! Bloom!
[roses sprout all over the Chief Meanie]
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Old Fred
"H" for "Hurry," "E" for "'Ergent,'" "L" for "Love me," and "P" for "P-P-P-Please help!"
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[seeing John looking through a telescope, concerned]
Paul
What's the matter, John Love? Blue Meanies.
John Lennon
Newer and bluer Meanies have been sighted in the vicinity of this theatre. There's only one way we can go out!
George
How's that?
John Lennon
Singing!
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Old Fred
Hey, what would your friends be doing here?
Ringo
Displaying.
Old Fred
Displaying what?
Ringo
Dis-playing around.
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Chief Meanie
A thing of beauty; destroy it forever!
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George
Ok, men all aboard. Lets go somewhere.
Ringo
[Indicating Jeremy]
What about him?
John
He's happy enough going around in circles.
Ringo
Aw, poor little fellow.
Paul
I don't know. Ringo's just a sentamentalist.
Ringo
Aw, look at him. Can't he come with us?
[he goes over to Jeremy]
Ringo
Hey, Mr Boob! You can come with us if you like.
Jeremy
You mean you'd take a nowhere man?
Ringo
Yeah, come on. We'll take you somewhere.
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George
Yes, dey do look very nice, don't dey?
Ringo
Yes, dey do.
John
Dey do dough, don't dey?
George
Yes, dey do.
Ringo
Don't dey, dough?
George
Dough?
[Paul enters]
John
Fa-la. Dat dough!
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John
Hello, there, blue people! Won't you join us? Hook up, and otherwise co-mingle? What do you say?
Chief Meanie
Max.
Max
Your Blue-, uh, I mean, er, Your Newness?
Chief Meanie
It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?
Max
Argentina?
John
Are you with us? Will you join?
Chief Meanie
Shall we?
Max
[nodding]
No!
Chief Meanie
[threatening]
Aargh!
Max
[hastily]
N-n-y-y-y-y-Yes, Your Newness!
Chief Meanie
Yes, Max!
Jeremy
Yes! Ah, yes is a word with a glorious ring! A true universal utopious thing! Engenders embracing and chasing of blues, the very best word for the whole world to use!
Chief Meanie
Yes, let us mix, Max. I've never admitted it before, but my cousin is the bluebird of happiness!
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Old Fred
Now whatever you do, don't touch that button!
Ringo
Which button?
Old Fred
That button.
Ringo
This button?
[presses the button and is ejected]
Ringo
Aaaahhhhh!
Old Fred
That was the panic button.
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John
Well, in my humble opinion, we've become involved in Einstein's time space continuum theory.
George
Oh, right.
John
Relatively speaking, that is.
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John
[singing]
Nothing you can make that can't be made. No one you can save that can't be saved. Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time. It's easy. All You Need is Love. All You Need is Love. All You Need is Love, love. Love is all you need.
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Old Fred
[after they have all been turned into much younger versions of themselves]
Now I don't mean to alarm you, mates, but the years are going backwards.
George
What does that mean, Old Fred?
Old Fred
It means that if we slip back through time at this rate, pretty soon we'll all disappear up our own existance!
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John
[Frankenstein's monster has turned into John Lennon]
Hey, Ringo, I've just had the strangest dream.
Ringo
I warned you not to eat on an empty stomach. Now listen to Old Fred.
[calmer]
Old Fred
What do you think?
John
[to Ringo]
I think he needs a rehearsal.
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Paul
[they're hiding from the Meanies in the gazebo]
Do you think they heard us?
John
I hope not.
Paul
Shhh!
George
What did you say?
Paul
Shhh!
George
Good plan.
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Paul
So this is a submarine!
John
Soft, isn't it?
Ringo
[popping out of a hatch in the floor]
Not if you're on the bottom.
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[Jeremy is writing with his foot]
Jeremy
The footnotes for my nineteenth book. This is my standard procedure for doing it. And while I compose it, I'm also reviewing it!
George
A boob for all seasons.
Paul
How can he lose?
John
Were your notices good?
Jeremy
It's my policy never to read my reviews.
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Paul
Groovy! How do you start this thing?
Old Fred
It starts with a Blue Meanie attack.
John
Well, supposing there are no Blue Meanies in the neighbourhood?
Old Fred
Oh, er, well, then you, um, start looking for a switch.
Ringo
[Ringo pushes a button that starts playing the first few notes of the song "All Together Now"]
Perhaps this is it.
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Paul
[singing]
When I get older losing my hair many years from now. Will you still be sending me a valentine, birthday greetings, bottle of wine? If I'd been out till quarter to three would you lock the door? Will you still need me, will you still feed me When I'm Sixty Four?
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John
Hey, Jeremy, what do you know about holes?
Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.
There are simply no holes in my education.
Paul
You mean you haven't composed a "hole" book?
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Lord Mayor
It's quite uncanny, your faces.
Paul
We're quite cute, really.
Lord Mayor
You could pass for the originals!
John
We are the originals.
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Ringo
Cor! It's all a load of Father Xmas's.
Paul
No, that's Father Time.
Ringo
How'd you know that?
Paul
Well, I read it in a book once.
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Chief Meanie
Go, glove! Point, and having pointed, pounce!
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[being swallowed by the vacuum monster]
John
The motor's packing in!
Old Fred
By all the sea nymphettes! We're losing power!
George
We're being swallowed!
Paul
What should we do?
John
Serve tea?
Paul
Lovely.
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John
[in the Sea of Holes]
This place reminds me of Blackburn, Lancashire.
Paul
[sings]
Oh, boy!
George
How many do you think there are in all?
Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.
Enough to fill the Albert Hall!
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Ringo
[as Jeremy disables the Chief Blue Meenie with flowers]
First time I saw that Nowhere Man, that Nobody, "I" knew he was Somebody.
John
You're right.
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Ringo
Hey, would you believe me if I told you I was being followed by a yellow submarine?
Police Officer
Um, uh, no. No, I would not.
Ringo
I, uh, didn't think you would. I could've sworn it was a yellow submarine. But that isn't logical now, is it? It must've been one of them "Unidentified Flying Cupcakes". One of the figments of me imagination. But I don't have an imagination.
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Chief Blue Meanie
[as Blue Minions are routed]
You're advancing the wrong way! Retreat backwards!
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Ringo
George, what are you doing up there?
George
[driving in Ringo's car]
Now, what is it, Ringo? Is there a matter you'd like to take up or down?
Ringo
[indicating Fred]
This chap, here.
Ringo
Ringo, Old Fred, John: Blue Meanies!
George
Aww, you're nuts, the pair of you.
[drives off]
Ringo
Hey, that's my car, lad.
George
How do you know it's your car, lad?
Ringo
I know it anywhere. Red with yellow wheels.
[the car changes colors]
Ringo
I mean blue with orange wheels.
[the car changes colors again]
George
It's all in the mind.
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George
Hey, it's seen us!
Old Fred
Fire the boxing button!
Paul
Whoever heard of a "boxing button"?
George
Who cares! Find one!
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Ringo
Nothing ever happens to me. I'd jump in the River Mersey but it looks like rain.
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[the Beatles have finally arrived in Pepperland]
John
Pepperland!
George
Looks a bit salty around the edges.
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George
Not a Meanie in sight.
John
Not even a teeny Meanie.
Paul
Not even a teeny weeny Meanie.
Ringo
Grace.
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Jeremy
[Describing himself]
Eminent physicist, polyglot, classicist, prize-winning botanist, hard-biting satirist, talented pianist, good dentist, too.
John
Lousy poet.
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[opening a door to find King Kong abducting a woman]
George
Do you think we're interrupting something?
John
I think so.
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George
Maybe we should call a road service?
Paul
Can't; no road.
Ringo
And we're not sub... scribers.
George
George, Paul, John: [cringing] Subscribers! Oh.
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Old Fred
All right then. Let's get this vessel shipshape.
George
I kind of like it the way it is. Submarine shape.
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Ringo
Oh, your story has touched me heart. Jump in. We'll get me friends.
Old Fred
Oh, bless you.
Ringo
Did I sneeze?
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Paul
[seeing the Chief Meanie for the first time]
Hey, he reminds me of my old English teacher.
John
Look, if you must shout, shout quietly!
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John
It's time for time!
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John
If I could come in, here, I think the theory put forward by Einstein.
Paul
[singing, to the tune of "Any Old Iron"]
Any old Ein, any old Ein, any any any old Einstein.
John
Could well be applied here. The people in the ball are obviously extensions of our own personalities, suspended, as it were, in time, frozen in space.
George
Uh, John.
John
According to the now-famous theory of relativity.
George
John.
John
Which, briefly explained.
George
John!
John
Is simply a matter of taking two eggs.
George
John!
John
Beating lightly, and adding a little salt and pepper to taste.
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[repeated line]
Ringo
I've got a hole in me pocket.
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Old Fred
Now, whatever you do don't touch that button.
Ringo
Which button?
Old Fred
That one.
Ringo
This one?
[Ringo presses the button and is ejected from the submarine, ending up on a creature that gallops away.]
Old Fred
Oops, that was the panic button.
Paul
Poor Ringo.
George
Poor lad, never did no harm to no one.
John
Hey lads, now that Ringo's gone, what are we gonna do?
Old Fred
Learn to sing trios?
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George
[as Ringo pulls arrows out of himself]
How was it?
Ringo
'Arrowing.
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Old Fred
Not polite to point!
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Paul
Senile delinquents.
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Chief Meanie
My dear friend let us not forget that heaven is blue.
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George
Hey, he looks wrong.
Paul
He doesn't look at all well.
George
In fact, he's horrible.
John
He's so ugly.
All
Really ugly!
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George
Do you speak English?
Jeremy
Old English, Middle, Dialect, Pure.
Paul
Well, do you speak English?
Jeremy
You know, I'm not sure.
Ringo
He's so smart he doesn't even remember what he knows!
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Paul
Say, Ringo, you're not half the lad you used to be.
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John
It appears to be a group of fellas.
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Chief Meanie
What, what, what! The glove is losing his touch!
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Old Fred
Well, lads, what do you think?
George
I think that...
Old Fred
Remember, there'll be rough seas ahead! What do you think?
Paul
Well, um...
Old Fred
Pounding overwhelming waves! What do you think of that, eh?
John
Well, I think that...
Ringo
As a matter of fact, I think that...
George
George, Paul, John, Ringo: I think...
Old Fred
Well?
George
George, Paul, John, Ringo: I've forgotten.
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Paul
What's the matter fellows? Blue Meanies?
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Ringo
Hey look at John will you?
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George
[singing]
Tiptoe through the meanies.
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Chief Meanie
Ah, here you are my glovey-dovey. Go get thee hence, and destroy yon upstarts. Smash them, squash them, crush them! O-blue-terate them!
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Max
Here, your Blueness have some nasty medicine!
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George
As a matter of fact, there's a war on.
John
Then brothers in war, to the skirmish must we hence! Shall we hence?
Paul
Oh, let's not waste any more time sitting on the hence! Beatles to battle! Charge!
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Old Fred
[George tries to fix the sub's motor; receives a huge electric shock instead]
What do you think?
George
I think I burnt me finger.
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Ringo
[singing]
And the band begins to play. We all live in a Yellow Submarine. Yellow Submarine. Yellow Submarine.
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Chief Meanie
Are the troops in readiness?
Max
No, Your Blueness!
Chief Meanie
The bonkers?
Max
Nope!
Chief Meanie
Clowns?
Max
No!
Chief Meanie
Snapping Turks?
Max
No!
Chief Meanie
Anti music missiles?
Max
No!
Chief Meanie
The Dreadful Flying Glove?
Max
No!
Chief Meanie
Splendid! Today Pepperland goes blue-y!
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Chief Meanie
[confronting Jeremy]
I think I'll tear him up into little pieces.
Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.
Oh, he does, does he?
Chief Meanie
Yes, I think I'll make a blue burger out of him.
Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.
I don't care what you think.
[tries to leave, but the Chief Meanie grabs him]
Chief Meanie
Oh, you don't, eh? We'll soon see about that!
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George
It's all in the mind, you know!
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[last lines]
John
John, Paul, George, Ringo: All together, now!
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Paul
Let's show him our motor.
John
Steady on! I mean, you don't want to be showing your motor to just anybody.
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Ringo
[sadly]
I want me mom.
[Blows his nose]
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Ringo
[seeing Jeremy captured by the Blue Meanies]
Jeremy! Can it be you?
Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.
Can it be me? I think you had better inquire of the guards, for when I was captured, they took all my cards.
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Paul
Gosh, look at all this dust.
[Paul picks some of the dust up]
George
Where does it come from?
Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.
A chemical error, I'm quite imprecise. This is a condiment...
Ringo
Condi...
Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.
...a spice
Ringo
Ohh. He's right, ya know. It's a pepper.
Paul
Pepper?
[John blows the dust off Paul's hand]
John
Pepper.
Ringo
ACHOO!
George
ACHOO!
Headland Heads
AAA... .AAACHOO!
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George
[referring to Dr. Jeremy Hillary Boob, Ph.D]
A Boob for all seasons!
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Paul
Do you ever get the feeling?
John
Yeah.
Paul
That things aren't as rosy as they appear to be under the surface?
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Chief Meanie
Tomorrow the world!
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Lord Mayor
Four scores and 32 bars ago, our four fathers
Old Fred
A quartet?
Lord Mayor
And four mothers
Old Fred
Another quartet?
Lord Mayor
Made their way in this yellow submarine.
Old Fred
What, that little thing?
Lord Mayor
To Pepperland.
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Chief Meanie
FIRE!
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Paul
Oh, let's not waste time sitting on the hence.
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Chief Meanie
Let us not forget that Heaven is blue.
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Paul
Beatles to battle! Charge!
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George
We're the spitting image of ourselves!
Pepperland George
Golly yeah!
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George
Hey. That's a funny place to leave a goldfish bowl.
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[as the sub travels through the Sea of Time, the Beatles and Old Fred turn smaller and younger because the time is traveling backwards]
George
[as they reduce in size]
Hey, look, everything's getting bigger!
John
It's not. It's us that are getting smaller.
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[the Beatles just saw duplicates of themselves in a second yellow submarine]
George
Maybe we're both part of a vast yellow submarine fleet.
Ringo
There's only two of us.
John
Well, then, I would suggest that yonder yellow submarine is none other than ourselves...
Old Fred
Going backwards.
John
In time.
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Ringo
I'll just park it here.
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