Kung Fu Panda Movie Quotes
Po
Maybe I should just quit and go back to making noodles.
Oogway
Quit, don't quit... Noodles, don't noodles... You are too concerned about what was and what will be. There is a saying: yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.
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Mr. Ping
The secret ingredient is... nothing!
Po
Huh?
Mr. Ping
You heard me. Nothing! There is no secret ingredient.
Po
Wait, wait... it's just plain old noodle soup? You don't add some kind of special sauce or something?
Mr. Ping
Don't have to. To make something special you just have to believe it's special.
[Po looks at the scroll again, and sees his reflection in it]
Po
There is no secret ingredient...
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Oogway
One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.
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Oogway
My friend, the panda will never fulfill his destiny, nor you yours, until you let go of the illusion of control.
Shifu
Illusion?
Oogway
Yes.
[points at peach tree]
Oogway
Look at this tree, Shifu. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me, nor make it bear fruit before its time.
Shifu
But there are things we *can* control.
[kicks the tree so that peaches fall]
Shifu
I can control when the fruit will fall!
[he slices a peach and throws the pit to the ground]
Shifu
I can control where to plant the seed! That is no illusion, Master!
Oogway
Ah, yes. But no matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Shifu
But a peach cannot defeat Tai Lung!
Oogway
[folding dirt over the peach pit]
Maybe it *can*, if you are willing to guide it, to nurture it. To believe in it.
Shifu
But how? How? I need your help, master!
Oogway
No, you just need to believe. Promise me, Shifu. Promise me you will believe.
Shifu
I... I will try.
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Po
The Furious Five! You're so much bigger than your action figures! Except you, Mantis. You're about the same.
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Tai Lung
[exhausted after fighting Po]
You... can't defeat me! You... you're just a big... fat... panda!
[He throws a weak punch, Po catches his hand by the finger]
Po
I'm not *a* big fat panda. I'm *the* big fat panda.
[he raises his pinkie]
Po
Oh, you know this hold?
Tai Lung
You're bluffing. You're bluffing! Shifu didn't teach you that!
Po
Nope. I figured it out. Skidoosh.
[he flexes his pinkie and a golden shockwave ripples out over the valley]
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Po
[checking to make sure Shifu is okay after his fight with Tai Lung]
Master! Shifu! Shifu, are you okay?
Po
No, Master I didn't die. I defeated Tai Lung!
Shifu
You did?
[Po nods and smiles]
Shifu
Wow. It is as Oogway foretold, you are the Dragon Warrior. You have brought peace to this valley and... and to me. Thank you, thank you Po. Thank you, thank you.
[slowly lays his head back down, seemingly dead]
Po
No! No no no, don't die, Shifu please!
Shifu
I'm not dying, you idiot!
[he catches himself]
Shifu
Ah, Dragon Warrior. I am simply at peace.
[lays down and folds his hands together, smiling]
Shifu
Finally.
Po
Ooh, so um, I should... stop talking?
Shifu
If you can.
[Po lies down next to Shifu; long pause, then]
Po
Wanna get something to eat?
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[first lines]
Po
Legend tells of a legendary warrior whose kung fu skills were the stuff of legend.
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Oogway
Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, but Today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.
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Shifu
[intercepting Po, who is fleeing the temple after learning he has to face Tai Lung soon]
You cannot leave! A real warrior never quits!
Po
Watch me!
[tries to run around Shifu]
Po
Come on! How am I supposed to beat Tai Lung? I can't even beat you to the stairs!
Shifu
You will beat him because you are the Dragon Warrior!
[pokes Po in his stomach]
Po
You don't believe that!
[Shifu swipes at his hand with Oogway's stick]
Po
You never believed that! From the first moment I got here, you've been trying to get rid of me!
[Shifu knocks him to the ground]
Shifu
Yes! I was! But now I ask you to trust in your master as I have come to trust in mine.
Po
You're not my master. And I'm not the Dragon Warrior.
Shifu
Then why didn't you quit? You knew I was trying to get rid of you, yet you stayed!
Po
Yeah, I stayed. I stayed, because every time you threw a brick at my head, or said I smelled, it *hurt*; but it could never hurt more than every day of my life just being *me*! I *stayed* because I thought, if anyone can change me, can make me... *not* me, it was you! The greatest kung fu teacher in all of China!
Shifu
But I can change you! I *can* turn you into the Dragon Warrior! And I will!
Po
Come on! Tai Lung is on his way here right now! And even if it takes him a hundred years to get here, how are *you* gonna change *this* into the Dragon Warrior? Huh? How? How? How!
Shifu
I don't know!
[sighs]
Shifu
I don't know.
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Po
There is no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness.
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Tai Lung
Who are you?
Po
Buddy, I... am the Dragon Warrior!
[bows over, panting from the stairs]
[laughs]
Tai Lung
He's a panda! You're a panda! What are you gonna do, big guy? Sit on me?
Po
Don't tempt me.
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Tigress
Shifu loved Tai Lung like he had never loved anyone before... or since. And now, he has a chance to make things right. To train the true Dragon Warrior. And he's stuck with you. A big, fat, panda, who treats it like a joke.
[Po makes a sudden funny face]
Tigress
Oh that is it!
[she lunges at Po]
Mantis
Wait, my fault! I accidentally tweaked his facial nerve!
[Po falls to the ground revealing a lot of needles in his back]
Mantis
And may... have also stopped his heart.
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Tai Lung
The Wuxi finger hold!
Po
Oh, you know this hold?
Tai Lung
You're bluffing. You're bluffing! Shifu didn't teach you that.
Po
Nope. I figured it out. Skadoosh!
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Po
He was so deadly, in fact, that his enemies would go blind from over-exposure to pure awesomeness!
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[Po slurps up noodles, one ends up draped on his nose like Shifu's mustaches. Everyone starts chuckling]
Po
What?
Mantis
Oh, nothing... Master Shifu.
Po
Oh, yeah, yeah.
[imitating Shifu]
Po
You will never be the Dragon Warrior, unless you lose 500 pounds, and brush your teeth!
[everyone except Tigress laughs]
Po
What is that noise you're making? Laughter? I never heard of it! Work hard, panda, and maybe someday, you will have ears like mine.
[he holds two bowls over his head to look like Shifu's ears]
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Po
Skadoosh!
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Oogway
There are no accidents.
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Monkey
But, he will.
Viper
He's not gonna quit, is he?
Mantis
He's not gonna quit bouncing, I'll tell you that.
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Tigress
One would think that Master Oogway would choose someone who actually knew kung fu.
Crane
Yeah, or could at least touch his toes.
Monkey
Or even see his toes.
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Po
The Sword of Heroes! Said to be so sharp you can get cut just by looking at - Ow!
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Shifu
Let us begin.
Po
What? Well, uh, I don't know if I can do *all* those moves...
Po
Well, maybe we could start out with something more at, you know, my level.
Shifu
And what level is that?
Po
Uh, well, I'm not a master but, let's just say zero, level zero.
Po
Well, what about that?
[He indicates a small dummy]
Shifu
That? We use that for training children, and for propping the door open when it's hot. But, if you insist...
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Po
[looking around at the historical artifacts in the palace]
Wow! I've only seen paintings of that painting!
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[after completing his training]
Shifu
You have done well, Panda.
Po
Done well? Done well? Ha, I've done awesome!
[Elbows Shifu]
Shifu
The sign of a true hero is humility. But, yes, you have done...
[elbows Po, causing him to stagger]
Shifu
... awesome.
[They laugh]
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Oogway
[walking towards Po]
Ah! I see that you have found the Sacred Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom!
Po
[Po turns around with a lot of peaches stuffed in his mouth]
Is that what this is? I'm so sorry! I just thought it was a regular peach tree!
Oogway
I understand. You eat when you are upset.
Po
Upset? I'm not upset. Why, what makes you think I'm upset?
Oogway
So why *are* you upset?
Po
[sighs]
I probably sucked more today than anybody in the history of kung fu. In the history of China. In the history of sucking!
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Tigress
It is said that the Dragon Warrior can survive for months at a time on nothing but the dew of a single ginko leaf and the energy of the universe.
Po
I guess my body doesn't know I'm the Dragon Warrior yet. Gonna take a lot more than dew, and universe... juice.
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Gang Boss
I see you like to chew. Maybe you should chew... ON MY FIST!
[smashes fist on table]
[swallows]
Po
And then he spoke!
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[after hiking up into the mountains, Shifu and Po stop at a pool of water]
[he scoops up some water]
Shifu
Panda, we do not wash our pits in the Pool of Sacred Tears.
Po
The Pool of-?
[he quickly shakes the water off his paw]
Shifu
This is where Oogway unraveled the mysteries of harmony and focus. This... is the birthplace of kung fu.
[cut to a vision of the yinyang and young Oogway mastering kung fu]
Po
Yeah!
Shifu
Then I *am* your master!
Shifu
Don't cry.
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[Tai-Lung's nerve strikes are only tickling Po]
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Viper
Are you ready?
Po
I was born read...
[Viper attacks, Po is flung and lands on his head]
Viper
I'm sorry, Brother! I thought you said you were ready.
Po
That was awesome! Let's go again!
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Shifu
When you focus on kung fu, when you concentrate... you stink.
[Po frowns]
Shifu
But perhaps that is my fault. I cannot train you the way I have trained the Five. I now see that the way to get through to you, is with this.
[pulls out a bowl of dumplings]
Po
Oh great, 'cause I'm *hungry*!
[He eats a dumpling]
Shifu
Let us begin.
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Shifu
Master! I have... it's very bad news!
Oogway
Ah, Shifu. There is just news. There is no good or bad.
Shifu
Master, your vision. Your vision was right! Tai-Lung has broken out of prison! He's on his way!
[pause]
Oogway
That IS bad news.
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Tai Lung
[attacking Shifu]
What I ever did, I did to make you proud! Tell me how proud you are Shifu! Tell me! TELL ME!
[he knocks Shifu to the ground]
Shifu
[quiet and sad]
I have always been proud of you. From the first moment I've been... proud of you. And it was my pride that blinded me. I loved you too much to see what you were becoming. What I... was turning you into. I'm s... I'm sorry.
[long pause, then Tai Lung growls and seizes Shifu by the throat]
Tai Lung
I don't want your apology! I want my scroll!
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Po
What? Just like that? No sit-ups? No ten-mile hike?
Shifu
I vowed to train you, and you have been trained. You are free to eat.
[Po sits and picks up his chopsticks]
Shifu
Enjoy.
[Po lifts a dumpling to his mouth, but it is snatched away]
Po
Hey!
Shifu
I said, you are free to eat. Have a dumpling.
[Po tries another dumpling, it is snatched away again]
Shifu
You are free. To eat.
Po
Am I?
Shifu
ARE you?
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Oogway
My time has come.
[hands his staff to Shifu]
Shifu
What? What are you...?
Oogway
You must now continue your journey without me.
Shifu
No! WAIT! Master! You can't leave me!
Oogway
You must believe...
Shifu
MASTER!
[in a haze of peach blossoms, Oogway ascends to the heavens]
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Po
[dazed]
What are you pointing at? Oh! Okay. Sorry, I just wanted to see who the Dragon Warrior was.
Oogway
How interesting.
Tigress
Master, are you pointing at... me?
Oogway
Him.
Po
Who?
[Moves around, Oogway's finger follows him]
Oogway
You.
Po
What?
Oogway
[Raising Po's arm with his stick]
The universe has brought us the Dragon Warrior!
Po
What?
Tigress
Tigress, Crane, Monkey, Mantis, Viper: What?
Shifu
WHAT?
Mr. Ping
WHAT?
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Tai Lung
Where's the Dragon Warrior?
Tigress
How do you know you're not looking at her?
Tai Lung
[laughs]
You think I'm a fool? I know you're not the Dragon Warrior. None of you! I heard how he fell from the sky on a ball of fire. That he's a warrior unlike anything the world has ever seen!
Monkey
Po?
Tai Lung
So that is his name. Po. At last, a worthy opponent. Our battle will be legendary!
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[Po gazes upon the Dragon Scroll and screams...]
Po
It's blank!
Shifu
What?
Po
Here, look!
[Po holds out the scroll]
Shifu
No, I am forbidden to look upon...
[Shifu grabs the Scroll and looks for himself]
Shifu
Blank!... I don't, I don't understand...
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Po
[breathing heavily]
I know you're trying to be all mystical and Kung Fu-ey, but could you at least tell me where we're going?
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Tai Lung
I have come home, master.
Shifu
This is no longer your home, and I am no longer your master!
Tai Lung
Oh, yes. You have a new favorite. So where is this Po?
[chuckles]
Tai Lung
Did I scare him off?
Shifu
This battle is between you and me.
Tai Lung
So, that is how it's going to be.
Shifu
That is how it MUST be.
[Tai Lung attacks]
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Tai Lung
Finally... oh, yes... at last, the power of the Dragon Scroll is *mine*...
[He opens the scroll - and stares at it]
Tai Lung
It's nothing!
Po
It's okay. I didn't get it the first time either.
Tai Lung
What?
Po
There *is* no secret ingredient. It's just you.
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Shifu
Our only hope is the Dragon Warrior.
Tigress
The panda?
Shifu
Yes, the panda!
Tigress
Master, please!
[pushes chair out]
Tigress
Let us stop Tai Lung, this is what you've trained us for!
Shifu
No! It is not your destiny to defeat Tai Lung, it is his!
[points at Po, then realizes he's not there]
Shifu
Where'd he go?
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Shifu
Obeying your master is not weakness!
Tai Lung
You knew I was the Dragon Warrior! You always knew! But when Oogway said otherwise, what did you do? What did you do? NOTHING!
Shifu
You were not meant to be the Dragon Warrior! That was not my fault!
Tai Lung
Not your fault? Who filled my head with dreams? Who drove me to train until my bones cracked? Who denied me my destiny?
Shifu
It was never my decision to make!
[gazes at Oogway's shrine and picks up his staff]
Tai Lung
It is *now*. Give me the Scroll!
Shifu
I would rather die!
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Tigress
You don't belong here.
Po
Right, I know. This is your room.
Tigress
No, I mean you don't belong in the Jade Palace. You're a disgrace to kung fu, and if you have any respect for who we are and what we do, you will be gone by morning.
[Closes door]
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Po
[serving a noodle bowl to a customer into which he accidentally pitched a throwing star]
Careful, that soup is... sharp!
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Shifu
But who? Who is worthy to be trusted with the secret to limitless power? To become the Dragon Warrior?
Oogway
I don't know.
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Crane
Look, you don't belong here.
Po
Yeah. Yeah. I know. It's just... All my life I have dreamed of...
Crane
I mean you don't belong here, in this room. This is my room. Property of Crane.
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Po
Ow! I thought you said acupuncture would make me feel *better*!
Mantis
Trust me, it will. It's just not easy finding the right nerve points under all this...
Po
Fat?
Mantis
Fur! I was gonna say fur.
Po
Sure you were.
Mantis
Who am I to judge a warrior based on his size, I mean, look at me!
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Po
No! The Legendary Urn of Whispering Warriors; said to contain the souls of the entire Tenshu Army!
Po
[stunned, thinking the voice had come from the urn]
Oh, sorry! I should've come to see you first!
Shifu
My patience is wearing thin.
Po
Oh. Well, I mean it's not like you were going anywhere.
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[watching Po get massacred by the training hall's obstacle course]
Shifu
This'll be easier than I thought.
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Mr. Ping
Noodles? You were really dreaming about noodles?
Po
Yeah. What else would I be dreaming about?
[hands a customer a bowl of soup with a throwing star in it]
Po
Oh, careful, that soup is... sharp.
Mr. Ping
Oh, happy day! My son finally having the noodle dream! This is a sign, Po!
Po
Uh, a sign of what?
Mr. Ping
You are almost ready to be entrusted with the secret ingredient of my secret ingredient soup. And then you will fulfill your destiny and take over the restaurant just as I took it over from my father, who took it over from his father, who won it from a friend in a game of mahjong!
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Po
[standing before a training dummy]
Hey, what you got? You got nothing because I got it right here. You picking on my friends? Get ready to feel the thunder. Come out with the crazy feet. What you goin' to do about the crazy feet. I'm a blur! I'm a blur! You never seen *Bear* style!
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Po
I just ate, so I'm still digesting, so my kung fu may not be as good as later on.
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Tai Lung
Shifu taught you well.
[disables Monkey with a nerve strike]
Tai Lung
But he didn't teach you everything.
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[grabs Zeng's throat]
Tai Lung
Go and tell Shifu that the REAL Dragon Warrior is coming home!
[throws him into the sky]
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Mr. Ping
We are noodle folk. Broth runs through our veins.
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[Tai Lung, after evading all the prison's deathtraps, leaps to the last one, a cluster of dynamite, and pulls it free]
Zeng
Can we run now?
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Po
[after a long battle against Master Shifu, he allows Po to eat. Po tosses away the dumpling]
I'm not hungry... Master.
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Shifu
Well done, students... *if* you were trying to disappoint me.
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Zeng
Tai Lung is free! I must warn Shifu!
Commander Vachir
You're not going anywhere, and neither is he!
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Shifu
You are not the Dragon Warrior! You will never be the Dragon Warrior until you learn the secret of the Dragon Scroll!
Po
[looking up at the scroll]
Oh. So, how does this work, do you have a ladder or a trampoline or something?
Shifu
You think it's that easy, that I'm just going to hand you the secret to limitless power? No! One must first master the very highest level of kung fu, and that is clearly impossible when that one is someone like you!
Po
Someone like me?
Shifu
Yes! Look at you!
[whacking him]
Shifu
This fat butt! Flabby arms!
Po
Ow! Those are sensitive in the flabby parts.
Shifu
This ridiculous belly!
Po
Hey!
Shifu
And your utter disregard for personal hygiene!
Po
Now wait a minute, that's a little uncalled for!
Shifu
Don't stand that close, I can smell your breath!
Po
Listen, Oogway said that I was...
[Shifu grabs his finger]
Po
The Wuxi finger hold! No, not the Wuxi finger hold!
Shifu
Oh-hoho, you know this hold.
Po
Developed by Master Wuxi in the third dynasty, yes!
Shifu
Oh, then you must know what happens when I flex my pinky...
Shifu
You know the hardest part of this? The hardest part... is cleaning up afterwards.
Po
Okay, okay take it easy...
Shifu
Now listen closely, panda. Oogway may have picked you, but when I'm through, I promise you, you're going to wish he hadn't! Are we clear?
Po
Oh, yeah! We're clear, we're clear, we're so clear!
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Commander Vachir
Hey, tough guy! Did you hear? Oogway is about to give someone the Dragon Scroll, and it's not gonna be you.
Zeng
What are you doing? Don't make him mad!
Commander Vachir
What's he gonna do? I've got him completely immobilized.
[Stomps on Tai Lung's tail; he doesn't even flinch]
Commander Vachir
Oh, did I step on the widdle kitty's tail? Aw.
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[Tigress puts up a very good fight, but soon Tai Lung begins getting the upper hand]
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[after his defeat by Tai Lung, Master Monkey hits Po]
Monkey
He's too fast... Sorry, Po!
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Po
But dad, didn't you ever, I don't know, want to do something else? Something besides noodles?
Mr. Ping
Actually, when I was young and crazy, I thought about running away and learning how to make tofu.
Po
So why didn't you?
Mr. Ping
Oh, because it was a stupid dream! Can you imagine *me* making tofu?
[laughs airily]
Mr. Ping
No! We all have our place in this world. Mine is here, and yours is...
Po
I know. Here.
Mr. Ping
[throws Po bowls of soup to catch]
No, it's at tables two, five, seven and twelve. Service with a smile!
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Po
Yeah, ha-ha-ha!
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Po
Ears. It's not working for ya? I thought they're pretty good.
Po
Of course it's Shifu. Who do you think I'm doing?
[the Five stare at Po shockingly; Monkey points at the door. Po looks and sees Shifu]
Po
Oh, Master Shifu! Uh...
[slurps the noodle and presses the bowls to his chest like he has pecs. The Five, except Tigress, snicker]
Shifu
[angrily]
You think this is funny? Tai Lung has escaped from prison, and you're acting like children!
Po
What?
Shifu
He is coming for the Dragon Scroll!
[to Po]
Shifu
And you are the only one who can stop him!
[Shifu looks at him deadly serious]
Po
I'm gonna... stop Tai Lung.
[realizing]
Po
What, you're serious, and I have to...? Uh, Master Oogway will stop him. He did it before, he'll do it again.
[face softens and he stares sadly at his master's staff]
Shifu
Not anymore.
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Po
Okay. Right, right. So, yeah, you wanna get to sleep and I'm keeping you up. We get big things tomorrow. All right. You are awesome. Last thing I wanna say. Bye-bye.
[He leaves, but remains outside the door, making Crane sigh in annoyance]
Crane
Oy.
Crane
I didn't say anything.
Po
Okay. All right. Good night. Sleep well.
[Po closes the door and Crane puts his foot on his head]
Po
That seemed a bit awkward.
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[Trying to get to his room without waking anyone, Po tiptoes through the hallway, only to trip and walk into Crane's room]
Po
Hi, you're, uh, you're up.
Crane
Am now.
Po
I was just--some day, huh? That Kung Fu stuff is hard work, right? Ur biceps sore?
Crane
[looks at his arms awkwardly]
Uh, I've had a long and rather disappointing day. So, yeah. I should probably get to sleep now.
Po
Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
Crane
OK, thanks.
Po
It's just-- Man, I'm such a big fan! You guys were totally amazing at the Battle of the Weeping River. Outnumbered a thousand and one, but you didn't stop. And you just--
[He tries Kung Fu, only to accidentally kick a hole in the wall, leading to Monkey's room; Po peaks into the hole to see Monkey, who is now glaring at him]
Po
Oh, sorry about that.
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Po
Good morning, Master! I just thought I'd warm up a little.
[He tries to lift one leg, but fails]
Shifu
You're stuck.
Po
Stuck? Wha? Pfft... stuck... does this look stuck to you... Yeah, I'm stuck
Crane
Oh, dear.
[Crane approcaches, gingerly grabs Po's waistband and attempts to pull him up by flapping his wings]
Po
Maybe on three. One. Two...
[Crane pulls him up and Po flops onto his back]
Crane
Don't mention it.
Po
No, really, I appreciate...
Crane
*Ever.*
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Mantis
There's no words.
Crane
Not denying it.
Viper
I don't understand what Master Oogway was thinking. The poor guy's just gonna get himself killed.
Crane
[mocking Po's lack of skills; sarcastically]
He is *so* mighty! The Dragon Warrior fell out of the sky on a ball of fire!
Mantis
When he walks, the very ground shakes.
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Po
[making dinner for The Furious Five]
So, I'm like "Fine. You may be a wolf. You may be the scariest bandit in the Hajin Province, but you're a lousy tipper!"
Crane
Really, so how'd you get out of there alive?
Po
I mean, I didn't actually say that, but I thought it... in... in my mind. If he could read my mind, he would've been like "What?" Order up!
[passes out bowls of soup to four of the Five]
Po
Hope you like it.
Mantis
This is really good!
Po
Nah, c'mon, you should try my dad's secret ingredient soup. He actually knows the secret ingredient.
Viper
What are you talking about? This is amazing!
Crane
Wow, you're a really good cook!
Mantis
I wish my mouth was bigger!
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Po
[voiceover]
He was so deadly in fact that his enemies would go blind from overexposure to pure awesomeness!
Awed Ninja
[blindy fiailing about]
My eyes!
Blind Gator
He's too awesome!
Smitten Bunny
And attractive!
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2026, Japan / USA, Adventure, Animation, Comedy, Family, Fantasy, Adaptation, Horror
