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Leatherheads Movie Quotes

Carter Rutherford Wait. Where were you two?

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly Out.

Lexie Littleton Nowhere.

Carter Rutherford Did you *kiss* her?

Lexie Littleton Now wait a minute.

Carter Rutherford I want answers!

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly Yeah, I kissed her! On the mouth, twice! And I liked it. A lot!

Carter Rutherford Oh you did, did you?

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly Yeah!

Lexie Littleton Thanks.

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly You're welcome.

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Carter Rutherford [Wants to fight Dodge over Lexie] Okay, we can do this right here, or we can go outside.

Lexie Littleton Get him, Dodge!

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly We got a game in five days.

Lexie Littleton What?

Carter Rutherford What, you think you're gonna hurt me?

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly I might.

Lexie Littleton Did you hear what he just called me?

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly He's a little drunk.

Carter Rutherford [Scoffs] I'm not drunk, you coward!

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly Really? Cause your sleeve's on fire.

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Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly [as they prepare to fight] I just want to say, stay away from my right knee.

Carter Rutherford Watch my left shoulder.

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly I will. Also, my right hindquarter. Behind my right thigh, but really, the *whole* hindquarter.

Carter Rutherford Well, you wouldn't punch me in the back, would you? Because I got a bad back.

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly No, never. Let's just go for the face.

Carter Rutherford Me too, just hit me in the face.

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Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly You're the kind of cocktail that comes on like sugar but gives you a kick in the head. The only thing you hate worse than a guy making a play is when a guy *doesn't* make a play.

Lexie Littleton Oh, were you making a play? I hadn't realized. It might work on my Aunt Lurleen. She's a little near-sighted.

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly [about his "Ladies Home Journal"] You know, there's an article on peach canning in here that I'm dying to get back to.

Lexie Littleton Well I know you, too, Dodge Connelly. You think you're the slickest operator in Duluth, and maybe you are, but being the slickest operator in Duluth is kinda like being the world's tallest midget, if you ask me.

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly It's too bad we know each other so well. We might have gotten along.

Lexie Littleton Well, I'll live.

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly Alone!

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C.C. Frazier You've created quite a stir, Lexie.

Lexie Littleton I'm just getting started.

C.C. Frazier You know, there are many qualities I admire about you, not the least of which is intelligence. If you print that story, I will have your job.

Lexie Littleton You wouldn't be good at it.

C.C. Frazier You're quick, too.

Lexie Littleton And I've got great legs.

C.C. Frazier First thing I noticed.

Lexie Littleton The story runs tomorrow.

C.C. Frazier [Nods] See you tomorrow, Lexie.

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Lexie Littleton [as Dodge is hiding behind a magazine] And don't think just 'cause you haven't said anything that I don't know what you're up to. I'm talking to you, behind the magazine. Don't you know I could have you arrested for eavesdropping?

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly Excuse me?

Lexie Littleton Or are you really an avid reader of "Ladies Home Journal?"

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly I never miss an issue.

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Lexie Littleton You're just acting like a big baby 'cause you miss your mother's bosoms.

Leonard My mother's what?

Lexie Littleton Her bosoms, you goof! You're substituting *my* bosoms for your mother's.

Leonard What? No, I'm not!

Lexie Littleton Why not? What's wrong with my bosoms?

Leonard Honestly, Miss Littleton, we're in public. The rules of etiquette apply.

Lexie Littleton Oh, Leonard, it's 1925. There are no rules. Except that boys like you are tedious until they're forty, at which point they become *unbearably* tedious.

Leonard I didn't come over her to be insulted.

Lexie Littleton No? Where do you usually go?

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Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly You're only as young as the woman you feel.

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Carter Rutherford I thought you liked me.

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly Look, she's too old for you.

Lexie Littleton What? Well, you're too old for *me*!

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly Well, you got me on that one.

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Police Officer [Chasing Dodge and Lexie up a staircase] Stop, or I'll shoot!

Lexie Littleton [Gasps] He said he'll shoot!

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly They always say that!

Lexie Littleton [Dodge and Lexie run up some more stairs. The officer suddenly fires a shot. Lexie screams] You said he always says that!

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly He does. Just before he shoots!

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Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly So you're a sportswriter, now?

Lexie Littleton Why not?

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly Well, certain jobs are always going to be done by men.

Lexie Littleton Big, strapping men?

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Lexie Littleton [about Belinda] Enchanting girl. I thought you had to be twenty-one to get into a place like this.

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly She *is* twenty-one.

Lexie Littleton I meant her I.Q.

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly I wasn't planning on running her for Congress.

Lexie Littleton No? What *were* you planning on doing with her?

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly You know, the usual.

Lexie Littleton Put her in shoulder pads and a helmet and knock her brains out?

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly I think somebody beat me to it.

Lexie Littleton She'll do well in Congress.

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly Well you're only as young as the women you feel.

Lexie Littleton How quiet it must be at the Algonquin with you here in Duluth.

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Suds Tough loss there, Dodge. Hate to end a home stand like that on a technicality.

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly You ever heard of that rule?

Suds Me? No, I never heard of *any* rules.

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly My point exactly. Goddamn rules are running this game.

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Joe Hey, Lexie! Someone's here to see you.

Lexie Littleton Who?

Joe Dodge Connelly.

Lexie Littleton [Her eyes widen and she whispers] Tell him I'm not here!

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly [From outside the office] I heard that!

Lexie Littleton Goddammit!

[She goes out the door, to Dodge]

Lexie Littleton You know, you have a real knack for showing up at the perfect time!

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly Some people call it a skill.

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Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly So here we are.

Lexie Littleton Not sure what the next move is.

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly It happens.

Lexie Littleton It's the first time for me.

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly They all say that.

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Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly So you flying solo, or is the Bullet casting about?

Lexie Littleton What do you care? You're here to entertain Miss Nipplewidth.

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly It wouldn't look good for you to get caught in a place like this.

Lexie Littleton I dare say it wouldn't look good for *anyone* to be caught in a place like this.

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Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly [looking at Carter's plays] I guess I should get a couple of diagrams of the plays we run.

Carter Rutherford Sure. Yeah. These are a lot like your plays, only a little more... effective.

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Lexie Littleton [Dodge smirking down at Lexie while laying in the top bunk in her room] What?

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly I think I will sleep up here tonight.

Lexie Littleton Oh, you most certainly will not!

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly Really?

[Mimes talking on a phone]

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly "Believe me, Harvey. By the end of the week, that kid will cook his own goose."

Lexie Littleton [Her eyes widen] You were spying?

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly I was observing.

Lexie Littleton So you want to play dirty, huh?

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly Maybe later, I'm a little tired right now.

[Lexie gapes at him, brief pause]

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly So, here we are.

Lexie Littleton I'm not sure what the next move is.

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly It happens.

Lexie Littleton It's my first time.

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly They all say that.

Lexie Littleton [pauses then huffs and takes off her shoes] I'm sure you snore!

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly Atta girl!

[Lexie goes into the bottom bunk, Dodge settles into his. Lexie pulls close the curtain on her bunk]

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly Sorry if what I said to you today upset you.

Lexie Littleton Don't be.

[She opens her curtain]

Lexie Littleton Which part?

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly The kick in the head part.

Lexie Littleton It's forgotten.

[Her and Dodge close their curtains]

Lexie Littleton Sorry if what I said today upset you.

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly Don't be.

[Opens his curtain]

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly Which part?

Lexie Littleton The world's tallest midget part.

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly What about the I know you part?

Lexie Littleton [Opens her curtain] I still mean that.

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly Then I'm still upset.

[They both close their curtains]

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Lexie Littleton Being the slickest operator in Duluth is sort of like being the world's tallest midget, if you ask me!

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly You know, it's too bad we are so much alike, otherwise we would have gotten along perfectly!

Lexie Littleton I'll live.

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly Alone!

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Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly I got a new play. It's called the Sergeant York.

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Carter Rutherford CC tells me you're printing that story.

Lexie Littleton I haven't decided.

Carter Rutherford You're not a reporter. You're a *liar*.

Lexie Littleton Slow down there, Kaiser.

Carter Rutherford If you just wanted a story, then why didn't the Trib send one of their hacks with a cigar stuffed in their snout. But, no, they sent you to snuggle up and play nice.

Lexie Littleton I never was much for cigars, but if it'd make you feel better...

Carter Rutherford Maybe I should just leave twenty bucks on the bed stand!

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Lexie Littleton What I want to know is why you chose to come in here from the lobby, where you obviously had business, to sit next to me and listen to my conversation. Tell me, or are you afraid to say?

Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly I'm not afraid to say it. I'm in love with Leonard. Go ahead and laugh, everyone does. We had something beautiful until you came along. You think you can just toss him away like a sack of flour?

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Actors Who Said Iconic Phrases