The Queen Movie Quotes
Alastair Campbell
They, er, sent a copy of the Queen's speech. Might want to scrape the frost off it first... Oh, I phoned them with a couple of suggestions, to make it sound like it came from a human being.
Tony Blair
Yeah, all right, Alastair.
Alastair Campbell
Well, at least the old bat's finally agreed to visit Diana's coffin.
Tony Blair
You know, when you get it wrong, you really get it wrong! That woman has given her whole life in service to her people. Fifty years doing a job SHE never wanted! A job she watched kill her father. She's executed it with honor, dignity, and, as far as I can tell, without a single blemish, and now we're all baying for her blood! All because she's struggling to lead the world in mourning for someone who... who threw everything she offered back in her face. And who, for the last few years, seemed committed 24/7 to destroying everything she holds most dear!
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HM Queen Elizabeth II
Have we shown you how to start a nuclear war yet?
Tony Blair
Er, no.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
First thing we do, apparently, then we take away your passport and spend the rest of our time sending you around the world.
Tony Blair
You obviously know my job better than I do.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
Yes well, you are my tenth Prime Minister, Mr Blair. My first, of course, was Winston Churchill, he sat in your chair in a frock coat and top hat. And he was kind enough to give a shy young girl like me quite an education.
Tony Blair
I can imagine.
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Portrait Artist
You may not be allowed to vote, ma'am, but it is your government.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
Yes. I suppose that is some consolation.
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HM The Queen Mother
You will have to talk to Lord Chamberlain about all this.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
Oh, I have. And to Robert Fellowes, and it seems they both agree with Mr. Blair.
HM The Queen Mother
I see.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
Something's happened. There's been a change, some shift in values. When you no longer understand your people, Mummy, maybe it is time to hand it over to the next generation.
HM The Queen Mother
Don't be ridiculous. Remember the vow you took?
HM Queen Elizabeth II
I declare that my whole life, rather it be long or short, shall be devoted to your service.
HM The Queen Mother
Your whole life. That is a commitment to God, as well as your people.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
But what if my actions are damaging the crown?
HM The Queen Mother
Damaging it? You're the greatest asset this institution has. One of the greatest it has ever had. The problem will come when you leave. But you mustn't think about that now, certainly not today.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
Oh, Mummy.
HM The Queen Mother
You must show your strength, reassert your authority. You sit on the most powerful throne in Europe, head of an unbroken line that goes back more than a thousand years. Do you really think that any of your predecessors would've dropped everything and gone up to London because a bunch of hysterics carrying candles needed help with their grief? And as for that silly Mr. Blair, with his Cheshire Cat grin...
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HM Queen Elizabeth II
Oh, really? You don't think that what affection people once had for m... for this 'institution' has been diminished?
Tony Blair
No, not at all. You are more respected now than ever.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
I gather some of your closest advisors were less fulsome in their support.
Tony Blair
One or two... But as a leader, I could never have added my voice to that chorus.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
Because you saw all those headlines and you thought: 'One day that might happen to me'...
Tony Blair
Oh... er...
HM Queen Elizabeth II
...and it will, Mr. Blair. Quite suddenly and without warning... So, shall we get on with the business in hand?
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Equerry
And remember, it's "Ma'am" as in "ham", not "Ma'am" as in "farm".
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HM Queen Elizabeth II
Prime Minister.
Tony Blair
Good morning, Your Majesty. Sorry to disturb, but I was just wondering whether you'd seen any of today's papers?
HM Queen Elizabeth II
We've managed to look at one or two, yes.
Tony Blair
In which case my... next question would be whether you felt some kind of response...
[Queen Elizabeth puts Blair on speakerphone]
Tony Blair
...might be necessary?
HM Queen Elizabeth II
No. I believe a few over-eager editors are doing their best to sell newspapers. It would be a mistake to dance to their tune.
Tony Blair
Under normal circumstances I would agree. But... well, my advisors... have been taking the temperature among people on the streets... and, well, the information I'm getting is that the mood is quite delicate.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
So, what would you suggest, Prime Minister - some kind of a statement?
Tony Blair
No, ma'am. I believe the moment for statements has passed. I would suggest flying the flag at half-mast above Buckingham Palace... and... coming down to London at the earliest opportunity. It would be a great comfort to your people... and would help them with their grief.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
[Picks up the receiver]
THEIR grief? If you imagine I'm going to drop everything and come down to London before I attend to my grandchildren who've just lost their mother... then you're mistaken. I doubt there is anyone who knows the British people more than I do, Mr. Blair, nor who has greater faith in their wisdom and judgement. And it is my belief that they will any moment reject this... this "mood", which is being stirred up by the press, in favor of a period of restrained grief, and sober, private mourning. That's the way we do things in this country, quietly, with dignity. That's what the rest of the world has always admired us for.
Tony Blair
If that's your decision, ma'am, of course the government will support it. Let's keep in touch.
[the Queen slams down the phone]
Prince Philip
Bloody fool! And now your tea's gone cold.
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Tony Blair
Will someone please save these people from themselves! Fine. I'll call Balmoral. Because as Prime Minister, I really got nothing better to do.
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Prince Charles
Why is it? Why do they hate us so?
HM Queen Elizabeth II
Not *us,* dear.
Prince Charles
What?
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[Cherie has just offered a shallow curtsy. The Queen looks at her and smiles]
HM Queen Elizabeth II
Mrs. Blair, lovely to see you, and congratulations.
[the Queen shakes Cherie's hand]
HM Queen Elizabeth II
You must be very proud, and exhausted, I imagine. Where will you be spending the summer?
Cherie Blair
Erm, France.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
Oh, lovely.
Tony Blair
You'll be in Balmoral?
HM Queen Elizabeth II
Yes, yes, I can't wait. It's such a wonderful place. My great-great-grandmother Victoria once said 'Balmoral always seems to breathe peace and make one forget the world and its sad turmoils'.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
Oh, excuse me.
[Robin whispers something inaudible into the Queen's ear]
[she shakes both their hands and they exit without showing their backs]
HM Queen Elizabeth II
[to Robin]
It wasn't too short was it? Fifteen minutes, one doesn't want to be rude.
Robin Janvrin
No ma'am.
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Cherie Blair
I don't know why I'm surprised. At the end of the day, all Labour Prime Ministers go ga-ga for The Queen.
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Tony Blair
[after getting off the phone with Lord Airlie]
Precedent? Where do they find these people?
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Alastair Campbell
Flippin' heck. You think the Royals are nutters? You should meet their flunkies. Two and a half hours of whether she should be carried in a hearse or a gun carriage.
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[first title card]
Title card
"Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown" - Henry IV, Part II
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Prince Philip
Sleeping in the streets and pulling out their hair for someone they never knew. And they think we're mad!
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Robin Janvrin
The Prime Minister is on his way, ma'am.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
To be, Robin, Prime Minister to be. I haven't asked him yet.
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Prince Philip
Apparently Elton John is going to be singing. That would be a first for Westminster Abbey.
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Prince Philip
Have you seen the latest funeral guest list?
Prince Philip
I suggest you keep it that way. A chorus line of soap stars and homosexuals.
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HM Queen Elizabeth II
Do you think it wise for the boys to go stalking so soon?
HM The Queen Mother
Anything that gets them into the fresh air is a good thing.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
Well maybe they shouldn't take their guns, I mean if a photographer were to see them it might send out the wrong signal.
HM The Queen Mother
If there is a photographer out there, he could be the first kill of the day.
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Prince Philip
Your sister called, from Tuscany.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
I hope you told her to come back, cut her holiday short.
Prince Philip
I did.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
I'd imagine she was pleased.
Prince Philip
That's putting it milder.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
What did she say?
Prince Philip
Something about Diana managing to be even more annoying dead than alive.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
Just make sure you never let the boys hear you talk like that!
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Prince Charles
They're going back to sleep, or try anyways. My private secretary office have found a travel agency out in New York that will sell me a flight to Paris, with a hour stop over in Manchester. Perhaps now you might like to consider whether it's still an extravagance to bring back the mother of the future king of England. In one of our planes.
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HM Queen Elizabeth II
Have you voted yet, Mr. Crawford?
Portrait Artist
Yes, ma'am. I was there when they opened. First in line. Seven o'clock. I don't mind telling you, it wasn't for Mr. Blair.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
You're not a modernizer then.
Portrait Artist
Certainly not. We're in danger of losing too much that is good about this country as it is.
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HM Queen Elizabeth II
Nowadays people want glamor and tears, the grand performance. I've never been good at that.
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Robin Janvrin
The atmosphere at Downing Street is expected to *very* informal. Everyone on first name terms - at the Prime Minister's insistence.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
What, as in call me Tony?
Robin Janvrin
Yes, Ma'am.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
Oh, I don't like that. Could we send him a protocol sheet?
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HM Queen Elizabeth II
That's how I think best: on my feet. I've never been one for sitting around endlessly. A good walk and fresh air sorts everything out.
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HM Queen Elizabeth II
Oh has anyone heard from Spencers' yet? Have they made up their minds when the funeral will be?
HM The Queen Mother
Hmm? Well I don't know, nobody tells me anything.
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Prince Philip
It's not right, you know.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
No, but further discussion is no longer helpful, either.
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[long pause]
HM Queen Elizabeth II
What are you going to do about the boys?
Prince Charles
Let them sleep until we know more.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
Yes, that's sensible.
Prince Charles
I should go to Paris, I told my people to start organizing a jet.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
What, a private one?
Prince Charles
Yes.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
Isn't that precisely the sort of extravagance they always attack us for?
Prince Charles
How else am I supposed to get to Paris at this time? The airport at Aberdeen will be closed and...
HM The Queen Mother
Charles, Charles dear, use the Royal Flight; they keep one plane on permanent standby, in case I should kick the bucket.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
No, Mummy, that's out of the question; this isn't a matter of State.
Prince Charles
What are you talking about?
HM Queen Elizabeth II
Diana's no longer a member of the Royal Family, she's not an HRH, this is a private matter!
Prince Charles
She's mother to your grandchildren!
HM The Queen Mother
What's happening now?
Prince Philip
I don't know; I can't hear, everyone's shouting!
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Alastair Campbell
You going to speak to the Queen?
Tony Blair
Yep.
Alastair Campbell
Ask her if SHE greased the brakes.
Tony Blair
Now, now.
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[last lines]
HM Queen Elizabeth II
So tell me, Mr. Blair, what might we expect from your first parliament?
Tony Blair
Well, ma'am, top of the list is education reform. We want to radically reduce classroom sizes.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
Oh, yes. Yes, we must.
Tony Blair
Create a much lower teacher-pupil ratio.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
Yes, it will be difficult to achieve...
[trailing off, inaudible]
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HM Queen Elizabeth II
Why do they do that? Why do they bury their bodies so soon after the death?
HM The Queen Mother
Islamic tradition. Something to do with the heat. It stops the body decomposing.
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Lord Airlie
Right. It's ten o'clock. Let's get started, shall we? And thank you all for coming at such short notice. I think we all agree that this is an extraordinarily sensitive occasion which presents us with tremendous challenges logistically, constitutionally, practically, diplomatically, and procedurally.
Alastair Campbell
[under his breath]
Oh, Christ.
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Tony Blair
I know, what was all that about?
Cherie Blair
God knows, Diana, whatever it is it'll be something to do with Diana.
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Robin Janvrin
His manifesto promises the most radical modernization and shake up of the constitution in 300 years.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
Oh, you mean he's going to try and modernise us?
Robin Janvrin
I wouldn't let it past him. He's married to a woman with known anti-monarchist sympathies. You may remember her curtsy, the first time you met. It could best be described as: shallow.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
I don't measure the depth of a curtsy, Robin. I leave that to my sister.
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Prince Charles
They stood up, as we drove past, in cafes, in restaurants, removed their hats. This was Paris, one of the busiest cities in the world, and you could hear a pin drop.
Tony Blair
I imagine it will be the same here.
Prince Charles
The Palace would still prefer to see this as a private funeral. What are your feelings on that?
Tony Blair
I - I think that'll present us with difficulties.
Prince Charles
So do I. My mother, The Queen, comes from a generation of best equipped. She grew up in the war. I think what we need, what this country needs, is a more modern perspective. If you follow.
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HM Queen Elizabeth II
Nowadays people want glamour, and tears, the grand performance. I'm not very good at that. I never have been. I prefer to keep my feelings to myself. And foolishly, I believed that was what people wanted from their Queen, not to make a fuss, nor wear one's heart on one's sleeve. Duty first, self second. That's how I was brought up. That's all I've ever known.
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[first lines]
Reporter
After weeks of campaigning on the road, Tony Blair and his family finally strolled the few hundred yards to the polling station this election day morning. Amongst the Labour faithful up and down the country, there is an enormous sense of pride in Mr. Blair's achievements, and the confidence that he is about to become the youngest prime minister this century.
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HM Queen Elizabeth II
I can see that the world has changed and one must - modernize.
Tony Blair
Well, perhaps that's where I can help.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
Oh, don't get ahead of yourself, Prime Minister, and remember, I am the one supposed to be advising you.
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Prince Charles
For the first time my parents can see what it's been like for me all these years, being up against her popularity. But they're still making the mistake of thinking that the Diana they knew, from living and dealing with her, will eventually be the one seen by the public. But it won't. The two Dianas, the public's and ours, bear no relation to one another, at all.
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Tony Blair
They screwed up her life, let's hope they don't screw up her death.
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Cherie Blair
Maybe this time people will finally have seen them for what they actually are.
Tony Blair
Which is?
Cherie Blair
A bunch of free loading, emotionally retarded, nutters!
Tony Blair
That's just absurd.
Cherie Blair
Why? They have a ludicrous cocoon of privilege and wealth...
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Cherie Blair
[to Tony]
I hope she shows you some respect this time. It's quite a debt of gratitude, she owes you. Mr. Saviour of the Monarchy!
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Alastair Campbell
You got raves in the press.
[holds up 'The Mirror']
Alastair Campbell
This lot calls you the nation's Mourner-in-Chief.
[holds up 'The Express']
Alastair Campbell
This lot says you're the only person who's correctly judged, the mood of the country. Even the 'Mail' is impressed. The "People's Princess," mate. You owe me.
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Cherie Blair
Don't you think she deserves it? Sitting up there on her 40,000 acres.
Tony Blair
Yeah, but allowing her to hang herself, might not be in our best interest either. Besides, I think there's something ugly, about the way everyone started to bully her.
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Robin Janvrin
I understand how difficult her behaviour must seem to you. How unhelpful. But, try to see it from her perspective. She's been brought up to believe it's God's will. She is who she is.
Tony Blair
I think we should leave God out of it.
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Prince Philip
That's madness! The whole thing! Bloody madness!
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HM Queen Elizabeth II
Oh, look. I do love this time of day. Shall we walk, while there is still light? You know the clocks go back next week, it will be dark before five. I do hope you're a walker?
Tony Blair
I am.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
Good. I always think these meetings have a far greater chance of success if the Prime Minister is a walker.
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Equerry
When we reach the audience room, I will knock. We will not wait to be called, we shall go straight inside. Standing by the door, we bow - from the neck. I will introduce you. The Queen will extend her hand. You go to her, bow again, then shake her hand.
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Equerry
When you're in the presence, at no point must you show your back.
Tony Blair
The presence?
Equerry
Yes, sir. That's what it's called, when you're in Her Majesty's company.
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Prince Philip
Condolence books are now being signed in our embassies in every major city in the world. And in London alone, the number has reached 40. It reminds me of one of those films. A few of us in a fort, hordes of Zulus outside. So it's vital you hold firm. Stick to your guns. You wait. They will come to their senses soon. They have to.
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Tony Blair
You obviously know my job better than I do.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
Well, you are my tenth prime minister, Mr. Blair. My first, of course, was Winston Churchill. He sat in your chair, in a frock coat and top hat. He was kind enough to give a shy young girl like me quite an education.
Tony Blair
I can imagine.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
With time, one has hopefully added experience to that education, and a little wisdom, better enabling us to execute our constitutional responsibility, to advise, guide, and warn the government of the day.
Tony Blair
Advice which I look forward to receiving.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
Yes, we'll save that for our weekly meetings. If there's nothing else, I believe we have some business to attend to.
Tony Blair
Of course. Your majesty, my party has won the election, so now I come to you to ask your permission to form a government.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
No, Mr. Blair. Mr. Blair, I ask the question. The duty falls upon me, as your sovereign, to invite you to become prime minister, and to form a government in my name. And if you agree, the custom is to say yes.
Tony Blair
Yes.
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Prince Philip
On our walk today one of the ghillies said he'd seen a large stag up Craggie Head. He reckoned, 14 pointer.
HM The Queen Mother
We haven't had one as big as that on the estate, for years.
Prince Philip
No, quite. Anyway, I thought it might be a good distraction - for the boys.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
What? Stalking?
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HM Queen Elizabeth II
The chaplain called. He wanted to know, whether we should make any changes in the service - any special mention of Diana.
Prince Philip
What did you say?
HM Queen Elizabeth II
Well, I told him not to change a thing.
HM The Queen Mother
Quite right.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
I think the less attention one draws to it, the better.
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Prince Philip
I suppose it does give the ghillies time to find another stag for the boys.
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Robin Janvrin
I've just spoken to our Ambassador in Paris, ma'am. I'm afraid it's not good news.
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Tony Blair
Funny, I'm actually rather nervous.
Cherie Blair
Why? You've met her often enough before.
Tony Blair
I know, but never one to one and never as Prime Minister.
Cherie Blair
Well, just remember, you're a man that's just been elected by the whole nation.
Tony Blair
But, she's still, you know: The Queen.
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HM Queen Elizabeth II
This is a family funeral, Mr. Blair, not a fairground attraction.
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Lord Airlie
Good afternoon, Prime Minister, it's my job to organize all the ceremonial events. There is simply no precedent for the funeral of an ex-HRH.
Tony Blair
Perhaps we shall plan for any contingency.
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HM The Queen Mother
I supervised those plans myself.
Robin Janvrin
Indeed. And the Lord Chamberlain was at pains to stress that the spirit of the occasion will be quite different. For example, the suggestion is that instead of 400 soldiers, 400 representatives of the Princess' various charities march behind the - coffin. And instead of foreign heads of state and crown heads of Europe, the guests would include a sprinkling of actors of stage and screen, fashion designers, and other - celebrities.
HM The Queen Mother
Celebrities?
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HM The Queen Mother
[to Charles]
Your grandfather didn't get the flag at half mast, when he died.
[whispers]
HM The Queen Mother
If you're mother died tomorrow, she wouldn't either.
Prince Charles
Yes, granny. But sometimes, you know, in a situation like this, one has to be flexible. It is just a flag.
HM Queen Elizabeth II
What about the Union Jack? Was Mr. Blair's next suggestion.
HM The Queen Mother
For heavens sake?
Prince Philip
The next thing he'll be suggesting you change your name to Hilda and mine to Hector! Who does he think he's talking to? You're the Sovereign, the Head of State. You don't get dictated to.
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