The Toxic Avenger Movie Quotes
The Toxic Avenger
You fat slob. Let's see if you've got any guts.
[Toxie then punches the mayor in the stomach and rips out his guts]
The Toxic Avenger
Officer O'Clancy, take care of this toxic waste.
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Cigar Face
I owe you for the other night monster faggot. So now we're going to give you six new assholes. Compliments of me Cigar Face.
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The Toxic Avenger
No ticky, no washy.
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Bruce
I heard that the monster is soooo big.
Chauncey
Well I bet he's got his eye on ME!
Bruce
For your information, everyone knows monsters prefer blondes.
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Man That Hates His Mother-in-Law
Gruesome ha? Have you met my mother in law? Now that's gruesome!
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Leroy
All right everybody, drop your tacos or I'll blow your brains out.
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Bozo
[about Melvin]
AHH! He's stressin' me, Julie, he is STRESSIN' ME!
Julie
Oh, Bozo.
Bozo
I can't take it, Julie, I cannot take it! He is screwin' up my karma! AHHHHHHHHHH! I'M STRESSED!
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Frank
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, we are the entertainment for this afternoon. Now on the shotgun we've got my man Leroy. And on the cash register, we've got that magic fingers Rico.
Rico
That's me.
Frank
And last but not least, yours truely, Frank, on the stick.
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The Toxic Avenger
And you can tell all your scum friends that things are gonna change in this town. I'm not just another pretty face.
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Officer O'Clancy
No way, you're wasting your time.
Cigar Face
That's where you're wrong. YOU'RE wasting our time. And now we're gonna waste you!
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[Melvin catches Slug and Wanda having sex in the locker room]
Slug
Get out of here you pervert.
[Wanda pulls out a switchblade]
Wanda
Or I'll kill you.
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Cigar Face
Honest cops are all alike. A bunch of fucking faggots.
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[Julie and Wanda are looking at pictures of a dead kid]
Julie
That new camera really captures the moments.
Wanda
I know. The reds are so red. It really gets me hot.
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Sara
Why Melvin you're beautiful. You're a beautiful person. You're so muscular. It's been two years since I've touched a man.
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Wanda
Slug, are you sure no one will come in?
Slug
I paid Tony 15 bucks. He said the place is ours till tomorrow morning.
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[from trailer]
Narrator
Meet little Melvin, he's a 90 lb. weakling. Everyone hated Melvin.
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Cop
[Police chasing the monster] Its my first day in the force and I am chasing monsters.
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[Cigar Face is counting money, while Knuckles is counting out loud]
Knuckles
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
Cigar Face
When we lay this wad on O'Clancy, the boss is going to have him by the balls.
Nipples
I don't think O'Clancy will take the money. Everyone says he's a honest cop.
Knuckles
He don't take the dough, I'm going to give him a blow.
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Leroy
Hey look Frank. Teeny-boppers. You like video games teeny-boppers? Your mommy give you quarters for video games? Well cough 'em up.
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Leroy
Look what we've got here. A little mother and a littler baby. You like Mexican food little baby?
[Leroy points his gun at the baby]
Leroy
Well how would you like to have this hot tamale shoved down your throat?
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Bozo
[about Melvin, who is clumsily mopping]
Would you take a look at that fucking guy? The mop boy. Can't even mop right!
Julie
He's SO stupid!
Slug
He's always got that shit-eatin' grin on his face. What's he so happy about?
Bozo
I HATE that mop boy.
Julie
[as Melvin approaches]
I think that creep's comin' over here!
Bozo
[sniffs]
Julie, you... uh, smell somethin'?
Julie
Ew! Pee-you! What's that stink?
Melvin Junko
[sniffs]
G-Gee, t-that's funny, I don't smell nothin'.
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Frank
Now if you all do just what we tell you, you just might, just might get your asses home all intact.
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Melvin's Mom
[hears the Toxic Avenger growling in the bathroom]
My little Melvin. He must have finally reached puberty.
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The Toxic Avenger
Hey Bozo! You recognize this face? You know who this is? It's Melvin that's who it is!
[kisses Bozo on the cheek as he drives erratically]
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Bozo
[to Melvin]
Next time you fuck with me I'm gonna take this mop and shove it down your throat!
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Bozo
Julie, does it count if i graze em.
Julie
You got to destroy them, Bozo... I want them dead.
Bozo
Oh, now we're gonna get em. Come on, come on, come on now. Where the fuck is everybody, where the fuck is everybody.
Bozo
How much is a kid on a bicycle.
Slug
Where.
Julie
28 Points if you get both the kid, and the bike.
Julie
Let's take a closer look,
Wanda
Oh, he's a cute little boy isn't he.
Julie
How pretty late, aren't ya buddy.
Wanda
The coast is clear Bozo.
Bozo
We got em.
Bozo
We're gonna get him, we're gonna get him.
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Slug
You know, I think you oughta work a little bit on your gut. You're getting a little bit flabby there!
Bozo
[stops lifting]
What? What are you talking about? I ain't go no fat! There's no fat on here, there's no
[grabs a piece of his stomach and is shocked]
Bozo
... FAT! FAT!
[lifts weights harder]
Bozo
.
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2026, Japan / USA, Adventure, Animation, Comedy, Family, Fantasy, Adaptation, Horror
