The Menu Movie Quotes
Chef Slowik
Where did you go to school?
Felicity
Brown.
Chef Slowik
Student loans?
Felicity
No.
Chef Slowik
Sorry, you're dying.
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Elsa
You will eat less than you desire and more than you deserve.
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Bryce
You told them it was my birthday?
Dave
It seemed funny about three hours ago.
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Margot
I don't like your food.
Chef Slowik
What did you say?
Margot
I said, "I don't like your food," and I would like to send it back.
Chef Slowik
I'm sorry to hear that. What about my food is not to your liking?
Margot
For starters, you've taken the joy out of eating. Every dish you served tonight has been some intellectual exercise rather than something you want to sit and enjoy. When I eat your food, it tastes like it was made with no love.
Chef Slowik
Oh, this is ridiculous. We always cook with love. Everyone knows love is the most important ingredient.
Margot
Then you're kidding yourself. Come on, Chef. I thought tonight was a night of hard home truths. This is one of them. You cook with obsession, not love. Even your hot dishes are cold. You're a chef. Your single purpose on this Earth is to serve people food that they might actually like, and you have failed. You've failed. And you've bored me. And the worst part is I'm still fucking hungry.
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Chef Slowik
It wasn't cod, you donkey. It was halibut.
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Margot
You know what I'd really like?
Chef Slowik
Tell me.
Margot
A cheeseburger.
Margot
A real cheeseburger. Not some fancy, deconstructed, affluent bullshit, a *real* cheeseburger.
Chef Slowik
I'll make you a very good, very traditional cheeseburger.
Margot
I don't think you can.
Chef Slowik
I'll make you feel as if you're eating the first cheeseburger you ever ate. The cheap one your parents could barely afford.
Margot
Show me.
Chef Slowik
How do you like it?
Margot
Medium, American cheese.
Chef Slowik
American cheese is the best cheese for a cheeseburger because it melts without splitting.
Margot
How much will that set me back?
Chef Slowik
$9.95.
Margot
That come with fries?
Chef Slowik
Neils?
Chef
Yes, chef?
Chef Slowik
Is the fryer still on?
Chef
Yes, chef.
Chef Slowik
Crinkle-cut, or julienne?
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Chef Slowik
The s'more. The most offensive assault on the human palate ever contrived.
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Chef Slowik
Who are you?
Margot
I. Am. Margot. Why do you care?
Chef Slowik
Because. I need to know if you're with us or with them.
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Elsa
Here, we are family. We harvest. We ferment. We slaughter. We marinate. We liquify. We spherify. We gel.
Elsa
We gel!
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Chef Slowik
So once again, thank you for dining with us tonight. You represent the ruin of my art and my life, and now you get to be a part of it. Part of what I hope is my... masterpiece. And now our final dessert course is a playful twist on a comfort food classic: The s'more. The most offensive assault on the human palate ever contrived. Unethically sourced chocolate and gelatinized sugar water imprisoned by industrial-grade graham cracker. It's everything wrong with us, and yet we associate it with innocence. With childhood. Mom and dad. But what transforms this fucking monstrosity is fire. The purifying flame. It nourishes us, warms us, reinvents us, forges and destroys us. We must embrace the flame. We must be cleansed. Made clean. Like martyrs or heretics, we can be subsumed... and made anew.
Chef Slowik
I love you all!
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Chef Slowik
Ask yourselves, this entire evening, why didn't you all try harder to fight back? To get out of here? Honestly, you probably could have. Something to think about.
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Chef Slowik
Over the next few hours you will ingest fat, salt, sugar, protein, bacteria, fungi, various plants and animals, and, at times, entire ecosystems. But I have to beg of you one thing. It's just one. Do not eat. Taste. Savor. Relish. Consider every morsel that you place inside your mouth. Be mindful. But do not eat. Our menu is too precious for that. And look around you. Here we are on this island. Accept. Accept all of it. And forgive. And on that note... food!
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Margot
Now that... is a cheeseburger.
Chef Slowik
Yeah. That is a cheeseburger.
Margot
Unfortunately, I think my eyes were a little bigger than my stomach.
Chef Slowik
Well, I understand.
Margot
Can I get the rest to go?
Chef Slowik
One moment, please. One cheeseburger to go. And a gift bag. Thank you for dining at Hawthorn.
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Chef Slowik
As Dr. King said: "We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor. It must be demanded by the oppressed."
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Chef Slowik
What do you need?
Tyler
Leeks.
Chef Slowik
Get the cook some leeks. This is your station here. What else do you need?
Tyler
Uh, sh... sh...
Chef Slowik
Shit, would you like some shit?
Tyler
Shah, Shah, Shallots.
Chef Slowik
Shallots for the great foodie, the phenomenal Mr. Food himself. Everybody gather round. You must learn from Tyler. This is a new uh, new dicing method of which we have been woefully ignorant. What next?
Tyler
Uh, butter.
Chef Slowik
Butter. Leeks and shallots sautéed in butter. I bear witness to a revolution in cuisine.
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Tyler
You don't think Chef is mad at me, do you?
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Margot
You don't have to call him Chef, Tyler. I'm pretty sure he doesn't even know about your existence.
Tyler
I kind of want him to...
Margot
Like you?
Tyler
Yeah. Kinda.
Margot
Tyler, you're the customer. You're paying him to serve you. It doesn't really matter whether he likes you or not.
Tyler
Right. Wait. What does that mean?
Margot
Mmm. Nothing. Relax. Just eat your rock.
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Felicity
How'd you do out there?
Movie Star
I did great. I killed it. I'm the only one who got away. I'm sorry. I'm a fuckin' failure.
Felicity
It's okay. I've been stealing money from you.
Movie Star
I know.
Felicity
I know you know.
Movie Star
I wrote a negative recommendation to Sony.
Felicity
I know. You cc'd me on it.
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Chef Slowik
Folks, I'm afraid our menu cannot continue as planned until we deal with an unresolved matter. You.
Tyler
Me?
Chef Slowik
Mmm-hmm. You. Tell me why you're here.
Tyler
You know, because I wanted to...
Chef Slowik
Swallow first.
Tyler
I wanted to experience your food, Chef.
Chef Slowik
And what were you told? What were you told ahead of time?
Tyler
You told me it'd be the greatest menu ever created.
Chef Slowik
Right. And? And?
Tyler
And that everyone would die.
Chef Slowik
Everyone would die. You had a date. I seem to remember you had a date. Not the young woman here tonight, so what happened to her? Your date?
Tyler
She broke up with me, Chef.
Chef Slowik
So, you brought Margot.
Tyler
Mmm-hmm.
Chef Slowik
Mmm-hmm. Why?
Tyler
'Cause you don't offer seatings for one.
Chef Slowik
So, you hired her knowing she'd die.
Tyler
Yes.
Margot
You entitled piece of shit! I'm gonna kill you, Tyler!
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Elsa
Can I help you, sir?
Bryce
Yeah. What... What the hell are these?
Elsa
These are tortillas. Tortillas deliciosas.
Bryce
Yes, and what are these?
Elsa
These are tortillas which contain EchoBrite's tax records and other documents, showing how your company has created invoices with fake charges.
Bryce
How did you get these?
Elsa
I'm sorry, but Chef never reveals his recipes.
Soren
Do you know how fucked you are? We'll have this place closed by the morning. Do you understand?
Elsa
Oh, no, that won't be necessary. Enjoy.
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Tyler
It's official. Tonight will be madness.
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Chef Slowik
Our next course will be presented by sous-chef, Katherine Keller.
Katherine
Good evening, everyone. Three years ago, Julian Slowik tried to fuck me. I refused his advances. A week later, he tried again. And again, I refused. But he didn't fire me. No. He kept me in his kitchen, and refused to look me in the eye or speak directly to me for eight months. He can do that. Because he's the star. He's the man. Our next course is called Man's Folly.
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Chef Slowik
Jeremy, do you want my life?
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Chef Slowik
My loyal regulars. How many times have you eaten here in the last five years?
Richard
I don't know. Six or seven?
Anne
I think it's more than that, Dick.
Chef Slowik
Eleven. Eleven times. Most people consider themselves blessed if they eat here only once. Mr. Leibrandt, kindly name one dish you ate the last time you were here. Eleven times you take the boat out here where we introduce every dish every single time. We tell you exactly what we're feeding you. Please tell me one dish you ate the last time you were here. Or the time before. One. Please.
Anne
Cod.
Richard
What?
Anne
Cod.
Richard
Cod.
Chef Slowik
It wasn't cod, you donkey. It was halibut. Rare, fucking spotted halibut.
Anne
What does it matter?
Chef Slowik
It matters to the halibut, Mrs. Leibrandt. And to the artist whose work turns to shit inside your gut. I've allowed my work to reach the price point where only the class of people in this room can access it. And I've been fooled into trying to satisfy people who could never be satisfied. Starting with her. But that's our culture, isn't it? And my restaurant is part of the problem.
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Chef Slowik
Ladies and gentlemen, please meet sous-chef Jeremy Louden. Jeremy created the next dish. It's called The Mess. Originally from Sparks, Nevada, Jeremy studied at the Culinary Institute in Hyde Park. Jeremy's goal, as he wrote in a heartfelt letter, was to work for me here at Hawthorn. Isn't that right, Jeremy?
Jeremy
Yes, Chef.
Chef Slowik
Jeremy is talented. He's good. He's very good. But he's not great. He'll never be great. He desperately wants my prestige, my job, my talent. He aspires to greatness, but he'll never achieve it. Correct, Jeremy?
Jeremy
Yes, Chef.
Chef Slowik
Like me at his age, Jeremy has forsaken everything to achieve his goals. Like mine, his life is pressure. Pressure to put out the best food in the world. And even when all goes right, and the food is perfect, and the customers are happy, and the critics are, too, there is no way to avoid the mess. The mess you make of your life, of your body, of your sanity, by giving everything you have to pleasing people you will never know. Jeremy... do you like this life? This life that you dreamed about?
Jeremy
No, Chef.
Chef Slowik
Mmm-hmm. And do you want my life? Not my position, nor my talent. My life.
Jeremy
No, Chef.
Chef Slowik
Ladies and gentlemen, your fourth course, sous-chef Jeremy's The Mess.
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Chef Slowik
I want you to understand something, Margot. I am a monster. No, was a monster. And a whore. But tonight, everything I'm doing is pure. Egoless. And at last, the pain is almost gone. Chef's hands. Asbestos hands. I can carry a cast-iron from a hot oven to your table with no protection. I can no longer be hurt, Margot. As Dr. King said, 'We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor. It must be demanded by the oppressed.'
Movie Star
Did he just quote Martin Luther King?
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Felicity
You can tell us. Are we all really dying tonight?
Katherine
It doesn't work if you live.
Anne
What doesn't work?
Katherine
The menu.
Felicity
Why not?
Katherine
It needs an ending... That ties everything together conceptually. Otherwise, it just tastes good, and who cares.
Lillian
I mean, really, you should have your own place. Right? And I could help you with that.
Katherine
I'm sure you could, Ms. Bloom.
Lillian
I could. I could. We, we would just have to talk about the, the, you know, the... the dying thing.
Katherine
Oh, everyone dying was my pitch, actually. I'm super proud of it.
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Margot
I am perfectly capable of deciding when I eat, and what.
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Chef Slowik
Do you wanna know why you're being punished?
Movie Star
Sure.
Chef Slowik
I saw the film Calling Doctor Sunshine, and I did not enjoy it.
Movie Star
Wait, sorry?
Chef Slowik
It was a Sunday. My one day off in months. The most precious day. The day where I was allowed to live. And I saw the film Calling Doctor Sunshine alone in the cinema.
Movie Star
But look, I, I, I didn't direct it. I just acted in it.
Chef Slowik
The memory of your face in that film, and seeing you again now haunts me. Drives me. What happens to an artist when he loses his purpose? It's pitiful.
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Bryce
He kept you open through COVID you prick, he did that!
Chef Slowik
Yes, he did and he questioned my menu. He would even request substitutions despite the fact that there are no substitutions at Hawthorn! Fallen angel please.
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Chef Slowik
Bread has existed in some form for over 12,000 years, especially amongst the poor. Flour and water. What could be simpler? Even today, grain represents 65% of all agriculture. Fruits and vegetables only 6%. Ancient Greek peasants dipped their stale, measly bread in wine for breakfast. And how did Jesus teach us to pray if not to beg for our daily bread?
Tyler
Beg for our daily bread.
Chef Slowik
It is, and has always been, the food of the common man. But you, my dear guests, are not the common man. And so tonight... you get no bread.
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Chef Slowik
And please enjoy your gift bags. Um... Some goodies in there. A booklet of our local suppliers, some house-made granola, one of Doug Verrick's fingers, and a copy of tonight's menu.
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[last lines]
Chef Slowik
I love you all!
Sous-Chefs and Remaining Dinner Guests
[in unison] WE LOVE YOU, CHEF!
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Chef Slowik
The next course is called Memory. And that is what it's meant to evoke. A memory. So, let me tell you a memory of mine. When I was growing up, a child in Waterloo, Iowa, Tuesday was taco night.
Movie Star
Oh, yeah!
Chef Slowik
Taco Tuesday!
Movie Star
Yeah!
Chef Slowik
And this, here, this lady here. This is my mother. As you can see, she's rather drunk. This is not unusual. When I was seven years old, one Tuesday, my father came home quite drunk. Really drunk. Also, not unusual. My mother grew angry and screamed at him, at which point, he proceeded to wrap a telephone cord around her neck and pull it tight. I wept. I screamed, I begged him to stop. To make him stop, I finally had to stab him in the thigh with kitchen scissors. You remember that, Mother, don't you? Now, I suppose I should've stabbed him in the throat that evening. But we're not so smart when we're young. It was, as you can imagine, as a very memorable taco night.
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Chef Slowik
I guess I'm gonna have to make your decision for you. You belong here with your own breed.
Margot
And what breed is that?
Chef Slowik
With the shit shovelers. You thought I couldn't tell? Oh, I know a fellow service industry worker when I see one. Mr. Leibrandt. How do you know him? You've been eyeing him all evening.
Margot
Well, I think you know.
Chef Slowik
No, I don't. So, he paid for an experience. And I can tell, as one provider of experiences to another, that you don't rattle easily. So, how did he rattle you?
Margot
He didn't rattle...
Chef Slowik
Margot.
Margot
He told me to agree with everything he said and continue eye contact while he jerked off.
Chef Slowik
Wow. Specific.
Margot
Not really. Pretty unoriginal. What rattled me is that he told me to tell him that he was a good man, and that I was his daughter, and that he loved me, and I loved him and...
Chef Slowik
And so, he's a romantic.
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Chef Slowik
You haven't touched your food.
Margot
There... There is no food.
Chef Slowik
Well, no. This is food.
Margot
So, um, lots more food to come. Don't wanna fill up.
Chef Slowik
That would not be possible. I've precisely designed the portions to account for that. So, you won't fill up. Please eat. The menu only makes sense if you eat.
Margot
But you told us not to eat.
Chef Slowik
That is not what I meant, madam. And you know it.
Margot
Well, thank you for your concern, but I am perfectly capable of deciding when I eat and what. Thank you.
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Chef Slowik
Do you hear it? Do you hear that silence? Listen, can you hear it? That silence means... I'm free.
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Chef Slowik
Who are you?
Margot
Margot. My name is Margot.
Chef Slowik
I've served many Margots. You're not a Margot. No.
Margot
What the fuck does it matter?
Chef Slowik
It matters because this menu, this guest list, this entire evening has been painstakingly planned. And you were not a part of that plan. And it's spoiling everything. In order to proceed, I have to know where to seat you. With us, or with them? It's really... It's very important.
Margot
And then you'll let me live?
Chef Slowik
Let you live? No! Of course not. Can't you see that that would ruin the menu? We're all gonna die tonight.
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Chef Slowik
I've told you who I am. I'm Julian Slowik, and I am the chef here. Now, who are you? I'll ask again. Who are you?
Margot
I'm Margot Mills.
Chef Slowik
So, where are you from, Margot?
Margot
I'm from Grand Island, Nebraska. Now, does that make you feel better? You want the address for Mom's trailer park, you asshole?
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Chef Slowik
We are but a frightened nanosecond. Nature is timeless. Enjoy!
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Tyler
Well, the attention to detail, it's like, fuck! And he knew my name, babe!
Margot
Yeah. I noticed you didn't ask his name.
Tyler
Yeah, well, you know.
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Chef Slowik
So, the question is, do you wanna die with those who give, or with those who take?
Margot
But I die either way? It's arbitrary.
Chef Slowik
No, it's not arbitrary. Nothing in this kitchen is arbitrary. Please pick. These decisions are important, and, uh, our menu is strictly timed. In 15 minutes, I'll take a break between courses, and that is how long you have to decide. It's our side or theirs. In the meantime, please return to your seat. The next dish is exquisite.
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Tyler
Oh, my God. I mean, it's next-level badassery. The way he weaves in historical allegories. I mean, the game is trying to guess what the overarching theme of the entire meal is gonna be. You won't know until the end.
Margot
Wait. You... You like this?
Tyler
Mmm-hmm. Oh, yeah.
Margot
He's basically insulting you.
Tyler
No, no, no. You don't get it. It's a concept.
Margot
I know what a concept is, Tyler.
Tyler
Trust me. He's telling a story. That's what makes his food so exciting. He's not just a chef. He's a storyteller. And he doesn't give a fuck about the rules.
Margot
Call me the girl next door, but maybe there are some rules that you should give a fuck about, like, I don't know, giving food to people at a restaurant.
Tyler
Dearest, no one would ever call you the girl next door.
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Movie Star
I told you, you weren't leaving.
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Soren
It's a fucking taco, okay? It can't hurt you.
Bryce
Yeah, a fucking taco that might hold up in court.
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Tyler
Do you make that with a Pacojet?
Jeremy
Exactly right, sir.
Tyler
Mmm. You know, a Pacojet can produce a powderized, uh, snow-like texture.
Margot
Cool.
Tyler
Yeah. I have one.
Jeremy
You really know your stuff, Mr. Ledford.
Tyler
You know my name?
Jeremy
Oh, we like to know everyone who dines with us.
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Sommelier
That's a 2013 Pinot Noir from Ross Cobb. We hyper-decanted it with an immersion blender to awaken it from its slumber. Slavonian oak, rich cherry and tobacco notes, and a faint sense of longing and regret. Enjoy.
Margot
Longing and regret. My favorite.
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Tyler
You do not send shit back to this kitchen, you child. You thank them for even letting you in the door.
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Chef Slowik
Our first course is called The Island. On your plate are plants from around the island, placed on rocks from the shore, covered in barely frozen, filtered seawater which will flavor the dish as it melts.
Tyler
You know, this is what the guy was fishing for earlier...
Chef Slowik
Sorry?
Tyler
Um... Sorry, Chef.
Chef Slowik
It's perfectly all right. Yes, they are those very same scallops. Now, here is what you must remember about this dish. We, the people on this island, are not important. The island and the nutrients it provides exist in their most perfect state without us gathering them or manipulating them, or digesting them. What happens inside this room is meaningless compared to what happens outside in nature, in the soil, in the water, in the air. We are but a frightened nanosecond. Nature is timeless. Enjoy.
Margot
That's a cheery thought. Are you crying?
Tyler
It's just that I find it all very moving. It's all so beautiful. I just... It's almost too beautiful to eat.
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[first lines]
Tyler
Babe, please don't smoke. It'll kill your palate.
Margot
Then my palate will die happy.
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Felicity
Not gonna serve bread at a restaurant known for their bread. That's sweet.
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Bryce
What is happening?
Movie Star
It looks so damn real.
Lillian
No, no, no, no. This is, this is just theater, right?
Soren
What the fuck are you talking about, lady? He just fucking shot himself, okay?
Ted
It looked very real, Lillian. Quite real.
Lillian
This is... This is just theater. It's stagecraft.
Soren
Is it really?
Lillian
Yeah. This is what he does. It's part of the menu.
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Chef Slowik
So, in a kitchen we all work together, or nothing works at all. We work as a team. You... Margot from Nebraska. You... You've betrayed our sacred bond of trust. And you've shown your craft to be careless. I was wrong. You're, you're an eater. You're a taker. Like all the rest.
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Richard
I'll handle this. Just let me handle this.
Elsa
With which hand, Mr. Leibrandt?
Richard
What?
Elsa
With which hand will you handle this? Left or right?
Richard
What the fuck are you saying?
Elsa
Shall we choose?
Richard
Choose what?
Elsa
Very well. Left hand. Ring finger.
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Sommelier
And to pair, from our friends at Caroline Morey, a Chassagne-Montrachet premier cru from 2014. Not just a single vineyard. A single row of vines.
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Chef Slowik
In this spirit, please enjoy the unaccompanied accompaniments.
Felicity
"The bread you will not be eating tonight was made from a heritage wheat called red fife, crafted with our partners at the Tehachapi Grain Project devoted to preserving heirloom grains." This is insane.
Movie Star
Mmm! I gotta say that the shit around the total absence of the bread is, like, really good.
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Elsa
Feel free to observe the cooks as they innovate. But please, do not photograph our dishes. Chef strongly feels that the beauty in his creations... lies in their ephemeral nature.
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Chef Slowik
You think it's done. You're sure?
Tyler
Mmm, hmm...
Tyler
No.
Chef Slowik
Mmm. Wow. Wow. It's actually quite .. bad.
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Margot
Okay, so what is it with this food thing?
Tyler
I don't know. It's like, you know how people idolize, you know, athletes, and musicians, and painters, and stuff?
Margot
Mmm-hmm.
Tyler
Yeah, those people are idiots. What they do, it doesn't matter. They play with inflatable balls and ukuleles and shit. Chefs, they play with the raw materials of life itself. And death itself. It's... I mean, I've watched every fucking episode of Chef's Table two or three times. I've watched Slowik's 20 times. I've watched him explain the exact moment a green strawberry is perfectly unripe. I've watched him plate a raw scallop during its last dying contraction of muscle. It's art on the edge of the abyss, which is where God works, too. It's the same.
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Margot
How do they turn a profit?
Tyler
$1,250 a head. That's how.
Margot
You're fucking kidding, right? What, are we eating a Rolex?
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Chef Slowik
So, here you have house-smoked Bresse chicken thigh al pastor and our own tortillas made with heirloom masa, one of Hawthorn's signature dishes.
Ted
Thank you.
Chef Slowik
We change our menu constantly, but, as Ms. Bloom knows, this has been a staple since day one. It's what you once said...
Lillian
Put you on the map.
Chef Slowik
Put me on the map. Precisely what map would that be... I wonder. Anyways, because we're always innovating, and we fear irrelevance, an update to a classic. The images on the tortillas have been made using a laser-engraving machine. It's the first time we've used it. We hope this taco night evokes strong memories for us all. Enjoy.
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Margot
We have reached the base camp of Mount Bullshit. This is insane.
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1
Chef Slowik
Um, ladies and gentlemen, I wanna apologize to you all. What you just saw was not originally part of tonight's menu. We strive for perfection, which of course does not exist, and that is a hard truth for me to accept, so please forgive me. Come with me.
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Dale
Did anybody here call in a distress over the shortwave tonight?
Chef Slowik
We're not in the habit of serving our guests shortwave radios with their meals.
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Lillian
There's a neediness to the plating, you know. I mean, it's been tweezered to fuck. But the flavors are there. It's very clean. It's very, um, thalassic.
Ted
Thalassic?
Lillian
Oceanic. Thalassa was the primeval spirit of the sea.
Ted
Oh, Thalassa and Pontus. Yes, yes, yes.
Lillian
Correct. So, we are... We're eating the ocean.
Ted
We're eating the ocean.
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Chef Slowik
There's a saying. 'Sometimes all you need is a good cup of tea.' I learned that growing up in Bratislava. I've found that not only does tea cleanse the palate, but it offers a soothing balm when facing some hard home truths. But before we continue, are there any questions about me or Hawthorn? Any questions?
Tyler
Is this bergamot I'm getting, Chef?
Chef Slowik
Yes, it is.
Movie Star
Chef?
Chef Slowik
Yes?
Movie Star
Uh, I think I speak for everybody here when I say that, uh... I wanna know... I mean, we wanna know...
Soren
Why the fuck is this happening, man?
Chef Slowik
Well, I'll tell you. Think of yourselves as ingredients in a degustation concept.
Soren
What?
Chef Slowik
A tasting concept. Figuratively speaking. I think that is the best way to describe it. But none of this should be a surprise to most of you.
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Felicity
Then why don't you go talk to him? Go talk to him! Because you know him, right?
Movie Star
I made that up.
Felicity
Why?
Movie Star
Because I'm a name-dropping whore. That's why, okay?
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Elsa
[deeply pretentious]
Feel free to observe the cooks as they innovate. But please do not photograph our dishes. Chef strongly feels that the beauty of his creations lies in their ephemeral nature.
Margot
[to Tyler]
And I strongly feel the need to punch her in the cunt. Like an uppercut. Right to the cunt.
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Dave
So, maybe there's a spare boat somewhere and we can get out of here.
Bryce
To what?
Dave
What?
Bryce
Get out of here to what?
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Felicity
How is it?
Movie Star
Mmm. It's good.
Felicity
You can't just say 'good' for the show. You have to... You have to embellish.
Movie Star
Oh, my God. For crying out loud. It's not brain surgery, okay?
Felicity
I know. Okay, so then, do it.
Movie Star
It's a goddamn travel-food show.
Felicity
Yeah, yeah. So pitch it to me.
Movie Star
Okay, so we go to Italy, right?
Felicity
Mmm-hmm.
Movie Star
We shoot me in capri pants on a pastel green Vespa, driving around to get to some Giuseppe's farm with cheese. I eat the cheese, and then... There's a close-up of me. And I close my eyes, and I fake an orgasm, and then off to South Africa, and then, I maybe... I talk about how racism is not so cool, and bingo bongo, Emmy time.
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Soren
Whatever. At least we can say we've been here, right? My dad used to say that you buy the experience.
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Anne
I don't usually enjoy foam, but this is delicious.
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[her last lines]
Elsa
He didn't tell me about the barrel. I didn't forget.
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