Freaky Friday Movie Quotes
Mrs. Schmauss
Where do I start, honey?
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
In the kitchen. We had a little problem this morning.
Mrs. Schmauss
What happened?
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
Well, the washing machine went bananas and uh...
Mrs. Schmauss
[suddenly we enter the next scene, in the laundry room just after the kitchen]
Well, lets take a look and see what's going on.
[she opens the washing machine lid, and very instantly sees that it's overloaded]
Mrs. Schmauss
Oh no! No! Well no wonder.
[starts taking them out piece by piece]
Mrs. Schmauss
You're going to cram your shirts, and your rugs, and your hose, and your sneakers, and some little tin things. What are these little tin things? Oh jacks! That's cute. That's cute! And all of your jacks in here together, not to mention you used too much soap. That is your problem.
[shuts the lid]
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
Well, that's what comes of letting Annabel help with the laundry. That sweet thing trying to be helpful.
Mrs. Schmauss
A genuine first?
[rolls her eyes]
Mrs. Schmauss
Ugh!
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Mrs. Andrews
Annabel, how do you like yourself?
Annabel
I'm not sure yet.
Mrs. Andrews
Annabel, about your hair, I swear they only took off an inch and a half. And I bought you a new outfit, but you don't have to wear it. YOUR TEETH! Don't you like your teeth now?
Annabel
Mom, I'm not talking about how I look, I'm talking about how I am. I'm a lot smarter than I realized I am, and a lot dumber too.
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Ben Andrews
Boy mom that was terrific, that's even better than Annabel can do and she's a super ball player.
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
Really?
Ben Andrews
And she's beautiful.
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
She's what?
Ben Andrews
I think she's beautiful and I love her braces. I hope when I get that old I'll have braces too.
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
With in luck you won't need braces.
Ben Andrews
That's what I'm afraid of, now Annabel going to hate me more than she does now. Well why does she hate me so much?
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
Because there's nothing more annoying in the whole entire world with a little blue eyed saint, with perfect teeth, who's always on time, never has a messy room.
Ben Andrews
Do you hate me too?
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
Don't be a jackass I'm just trying to tell you why Annabel hates you.
Ben Andrews
But I can't help those things, I can't help what I look like and about being neat, I can't help that either. Listen if I thought she'd bite me I might be better being famous, I even try being messy. Once I took all my piled up blocks and the books on the shelf, and a big bag of marbles and Lego's and threw them in the middle of the room so Annabel wouldn't be the only one getting in trouble. Do you want to know what happened? That stinky old Mrs. Schmauss said I was too young to know any better and picked everything up. So no matter what I do Annabel keeps on hating me.
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
Well, why don't you hate her back? That's a good idea.
Ben Andrews
I told you before I tried. But you can't hate someone and love them at the same time can you mom?
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
No I didn't used to think so.
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
Now blow. Feel better now?
[Annabel holds up the tissue to Ben's nose]
Ben Andrews
Uh huh.
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
Come on let's go home.
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[Annabelle and her mother have already just got their own bodies back, but stayed in the same places that they were switched, and it looks to Boris and Ben like she and her mother just did an impossible trick]
Boris Harris
Hey Annabelle, where did you come from?
Annabel
Don't ask me.
Ben Andrews
Where did Mom go?
Annabel
Don't ask me.
Ben Andrews
Can you do that again?
Annabel
I hope not.
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Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
I was only kidding, Daddy.
Mr. Andrews
Daddy? You never called me "Daddy" before?
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
[covering up the problem]
Oh, and I never will again, Bill, Dear.
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Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
Male chauvinist pig!
Ben Andrews
Why did you call Daddy a male chauvinist pig?
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
Because he is one!
Ben Andrews
But what does that mean?
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
It means he spends 3 months taking bow for a ceremony, then when it backfires he expects you to pull it together in 3 hours!
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Mrs. Andrews (as Annabel)
Could I trouble you for a dime, dear?
Virginia
[shocked]
Could-I-trouble-you-for-a-dime-dear?
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Annabel
Annabel, Mrs. Andrews: [about each other, from two different places at the same time, they are saying the magic word which suddenly makes them unintentionally switch] I wish I could switch places with her for just one day.
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Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
Do this... do that... everybody's had breakfast but me!
[rummages in the fridge]
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
Ah! Macaroni and cheese, breakfast at last.
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Annabel
As a dad you're terrific. As a husband, you're more like a traffic cop!
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Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
Your mop stinks!
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Annabel
Max, you big hamburger!
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Mrs. Andrews
Honestly, Bill, that child hasn't got a clue about my life, not a single clue.
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Mrs. Andrews
Too late, Miss. Gibbons, I've already seen your action!
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Mrs. Andrews
you know, Borris, I do believe this is the first time you've ever gotten a chance to see our lovely, lovely home... it's simple, yet elegant!
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Mr. Andrews
What's going on in there?
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
Something really freaky!
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Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
Male chauvinist pig!
Ben Andrews
Mr. Dilk too?
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
No, still your father.
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Boris Harris
You and your little boy have the same sized feet?
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
Yes, I told you he's peculiar.
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Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
[on phone]
Boris, this is Mrs. Andrews across the street. Could I borrow a cup of...
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
[sees Max chewing on cereal box]
Kibble? Kibble. K-I-B-B-L-E, that's right, the stuff dogs eat.
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Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
We're having a pickup lunch. Pick up anything you want and put everything else back in the bag.
Ben Andrews
[takes bottle out]
Gin?
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
Ahhh!
[takes it back]
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
That's the wrong bag!
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Opposing Coach
Now listen, girls, I've taught you to play fair, to play clean, and with good sportsmanship. Still, the name of the game is winning, and we can only win this one if you remember one thing: *get Annabel Andrew and get her good*!
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Mrs. Andrews (as Annabel)
[while Mrs. Andrews speeds in traffic in her car]
Which way do I turn here? Left?
Boris Harris
Right!
Mrs. Andrews (as Annabel)
Right, You sure?
Boris Harris
No left!
Boris Harris
Right!
Mrs. Andrews (as Annabel)
Right?
Ben Andrews
Left's that way!
[Mrs. Andrews cuts off the car hauler truck and the driver brakes and 3 police cars falls out of the car hauler. The police in their car quickly turns on their sirens and chases after Mrs. Andrews speeding car]
Boris Harris
Uh oh! Hey! I think we've got company!
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Mrs. Andrews (as Annabel)
What is this?
Virginia
Your usual rum raisin banana-split breakfast.
Mrs. Andrews (as Annabel)
Of course! what else would the junk food junkie eat for breakfast?
[looking at the girls, who are staring]
Mrs. Andrews (as Annabel)
You notice something different about me, right? Something different?
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Annabel
This is my room. Don't knock it, I like it this way, you don't have to find anything.
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Annabel Andrews
Hey! Whose foot is that? That's not MY foot... that's Mom's foot! And those are Mom's legs
[feels her legs and works up]
Annabel Andrews
... and, and her stomach, and her uh... uh...
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Mrs. Andrews
[as Annabel, thinking]
No wonder Annabel's always walking around barefoot, these sneakers feel like they're full of marbles.
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Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
Exploding mousse and burnt turkey! Boris how could you do this?
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Mrs. Andrews
[to herself, going through a day at school]
How're you supposed to win? One side snubs you if you don't do well, the other side snubs you if you DO do well.
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Mrs. Andrews
Right body wrong place!
[after getting her body back while water skiing]
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Mrs. Andrews
Annabel, I said, when you're grown up, people don't tell you what to do, you have to tell yourself, which is sometimes more difficult.
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Annabel
I'm not falling for that again, the last time I got my hair trimmed they chopped six whole inches off!
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Virginia
No I couldn't possibly! I know you've got more change than that, Annabel, I've seen the way you walk.
Mrs. Andrews (as Annabel)
The way I walk?
Mrs. Andrews
[thinks]
Of course!
[takes off her shoe and coins scatter]
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Mrs. Andrews (as Annabel)
Listen! Let me put it this way, uh number one, I'm not going to go out there and make a fool out of myself let alone break every bone in my body.
Mr. Andrews
Annabel you can't do this to me! My job may depend on this deal!
Mrs. Andrews (as Annabel)
I'm sorry, but I just can't do it!
Mr. Andrews
Okay okay I give up! Heh heh, sit down and we'll talk about it here hold this. HIT IT CHARLIE!
[Bill gives Annabel the tow rope to hold]
[the boat tugs Annabel on the water as she struggles to water ski]
Mr. Andrews
I'M SORRY HONEY! I HAD TO DO IT!
Mrs. Andrews
[Mrs Andrews thought]
Bill! You dirty louse!
Mrs. Andrews (as Annabel)
OH, HELP! Oh!
[Annabel continues to struggle and panic on the moving water skis]
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Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews), Mrs. Andrews (as Annabel): I wish I had my own body back!
[Annabel and Mrs. Andrews bodies magically switch back with their own spirit in their correct bodies. Mrs. Andrews is now on water skis while Annabel is reckless driving in a car]
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Boris Harris
[after Annabel gets her own body back, she appears in the car]
Hey Annabel! Where did you come from?
Ben Andrews
Where did mom go?
Annabel Andrews
Don't ask me.
Boris Harris
How'd you do that?
Annabel Andrews
Don't ask me.
Ben Andrews
Could you do it again?
Annabel Andrews
I hope not.
[the police cars continue to chase after them]
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Mrs. Andrews
Let's make this a creative enterprise.
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Annabel
Another thing, she's not going to let me go to Hillary's this afternoon. Says she knows all we do there is kissing games, she's also my back to get my hair trimmed. I'm not falling for that again, last time I was trimmed they hacked six inches off me. I tried to be cool right? Parents just seem to be immune to it. Sometimes I'd really blow my top, when yesterday I said to her, What are you trying to do change my whole entire image? She said no dear I wouldn't know where to start. Chuckle chuckle I mean that's really funny.
Virginia
If it's any comfort to you Annabel, my mom is even rottener than yours.
[Annabel throws a spoon of ice cream at the wall]
Annabel
Mother's just doesn't understand what a person goes through. I'm an individual right? I can't eat what I want, wear what I want to keep my hair and nails the way I want. Last night we really had it out though, Listen, I screamed at her, I know how to scream at her you know. Listen, you're not letting me have any fun and I'm sick of it. You're always pushing me around and telling me what to do. How come nobody ever gets to tells you what to do. Will you ever tell me that? Do you know what she said?
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Annabel
Oh yeah said this real bitter tongue, yeah that always blows my mind. Oh yeah you can tell you something, watch TV all day, or go to lunch with your friends, eat what you want for breakfast. Or go to big parties or movies with dad.
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Mrs. Andrews
And do the laundry I reminded her. And the shopping and the cooking. Make things nice for everybody. Honestly Bill that child has not got a clue about my life, not a single clue.
[Mrs. Andrews lights a cigarette]
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Annabel
Sounds like a picnic to me.
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Mrs. Andrews
Mrs. Andrews is caressing the box of Katy Kibble that Boris brings over.
Mrs. Andrews
I'll put this away where it belongs... in the jewelry box!
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Annabel
I am so much smarter than I thought, and so much dumber.
Mrs. Andrews
Oh, my darling, aren't we all?
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Mr. Andrews
Counting on you both.
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
But you're counting on the wrong both!
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Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
[Mrs. Andrews is watching TV in the living room when she hears a loud rumbling]
[She runs into the the kitchen to find the washer shaking excessively and the lid going up and down with suds flying out]
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
It's alive!
[she runs to the washer and tries to keep the lid down as she starts talking to it]
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
Whoah there! Take it easy, you're going to be fine it's just a little case of hiccups.
[the phone starts ringing in haste she runs to the phone to answer it but can't hear the caller from the washer]
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
Hello? Wait a minute I got to take you to the hall thank you!
[puts the phone down and heads over to the hall phone]
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
Hello?
[hears a loud gushing noise]
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
hang on I got to hang up in the other room.
[Heads back to the kitchen and finds suds gushing out of the washer and going all over the floor]
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
Holy cow!
[runs back to the washer and unplugs it shutting off]
Annabel (as Mrs. Andrews)
[she leans down and starts talking to the washer again]
Couldn't you picked another day to have a breakdown? I mean what was the matter with yesterday when mom was around? You had to shake yourself to death on my important day. Come on now shape up!
[she hits the washer and it rumbles some more]
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