Jakob the Liar Movie Quotes
[first lines]
Jakob Heym
Hitler goes to a fortune-teller and asks, "When will I die?" And the fortune-teller replies, "On a Jewish holiday." Hitler then asks, "How do you know that?" And she replies, "Any day you die will be a Jewish holiday."
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Jakob Heym
I believe we are the chosen people... but I wish the Almighty had chosen somebody else.
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Jakob Heym
Here's a book about Africa. You read this, you'll forget you're hungry.
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Lina Kronstein
Jakob, there are thieves in your apartment.
Jakob Heym
My apartment? What's to steal?
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Lina Kronstein
Tonight is Shabbat.
Jakob Heym
Great. We'll fast like every other night.
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Jakob Heym
Hunger for hope may be worse than hunger for food.
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Frankfurter
Until the last line has been spoken, the curtain cannot come down.
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Jakob Heym
Technically, they're retreating. But strategically, they're advancing.
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Jakob Heym
I'll burn that bridge when I get to it.
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Jakob Heym
A barber with a dull razor is like a blind moyl.
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Mischa
If you had one and didn't want anyone to know... ...the best way would be to say you had one... ...because no one owning a radio would be stupid enough to admit it. They'd leave you alone, which means.... What does it mean, Jakob?
Jakob Heym
I don't know.
Mischa
It means you've got a radio.
Jakob Heym
I don't have a radio.
Mischa
I understand.
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Kowalsky
If you hang yourself, I'll kill you.
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Jakob Heym
Stop torturing me. The Germans are already doing a fine job.
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Jakob Heym
My name is Jakob Heym.
Miss Esther
The Jakob Heym? I imagined you much taller.
Jakob Heym
So did I.
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Mischa
Think about the resistance that'll be organized because of this radio.
Rosa
Maybe I should have put up a little more resistance. Then you'd pay more attention to me.
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Lina Kronstein
What happened to your wife?
Jakob Heym
They *shot* her. Under a tree. I don't know what kind of tree it was. I didn't bother to ask.
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Jakob Heym
Oh, God of the Jews! Why didn't you make your people a race of mice?
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Jakob Heym
I don't want to see you playing with that cat. I certainly don't want to see you catch it and eat it. Any cat that lets itself get caught is sick.
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Lina Kronstein
Does that mean it's nearly over?
Lina Kronstein
He heard me!
Jakob Heym
[imitating the BBC radio announcer.]
We remind listeners not to ask questions... as that interferes with reception. And please don't look at the radio!
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Avron
Jakob Heym may not be the Messiah, but he could be a prophet.
Herschel
Prophets speak in the name of God. All the pancake vendor has got is a radio!
Avron
He's saying the same thing Isaiah said, people of Israel, I will lead you out of bondage.
Frankfurter
[wryly]
Out of bondage. If this is what we get from Isaiah, I can't wait to find out the results from the pancake vendor.
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Mischa
So, now that you've shared a toilet seat with the master race, maybe you'll be good enough to tell us the news...
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[last lines]
Jakob Heym
But maybe it wasn't like that at all. Because you know, as Frankfurter says, "until the last line has been spoken, the curtain cannot come down".
Rosa
Mischa!
Jakob Heym
About 50 kilometers out of town, the train was stopped by Russian troops, who had just taken Bizonika, and Pratt...
[national anthem proudly playing]
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Mischa
You're hiding someone?
Jakob Heym
Yes. Why couldn't you think this quick in the ring?
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