Babylon Movie Quotes
[Jack finds George crying with his head in the toilet]
Jack Conrad
Aw, Georgie. Who was it this time?
Jack Conrad
Claire. Well, Claire's a lesbian. That's an uphill battle for anyone.
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Elinor St. John
In a hundred years, when you and I are both long gone, any time someone threads a frame of yours through a sprocket, you will be alive again. You see what that means? One day, every person on every film shot this year will be dead. And one day, all those films will be pulled from the vaults, and all their ghosts will dine together, and adventure together, go to the jungle, to war together. A child born in 50 years will stumble across your image flickering on a screen and feel he knows you, like... like a friend, though you breathed your last before he breathed his first. You've been given a gift. Be grateful. Your time today is through, but you'll spend eternity with angels and ghosts.
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Nellie LaRoy
It's written in the stars. I am a star.
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Ruth Adler
How do you do it? Just tear up over and over like it's nothing?
Nellie LaRoy
I just think of home.
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Nellie LaRoy
Honey, you don't become a star. Either you are one or you ain't. I am.
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Nellie LaRoy
Fucking listen up, all you big-dick Mister Men! Who wants to see my dad fight a fucking snake?
Jack Conrad
Fuck yeah!
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Nellie LaRoy
I hate when people put fucking toppings on ice cream. Doesn't need it. It messes up a good thing. You know what I mean? I fucking hate that. God, I've never done nothing except disappoint people my whole life. Teachers told me I was no good. Boys told me I was no good. Every fucking casting director in the city told me I was too short or I was too fat. Usually I was too fat. You know, my mama actually had some fat years too. You wouldn't know it now, looking at her, but she did. They fucked up with me, Manny. They really fucked up with me. 'Cause I make 'em squirm. And I like making 'em squirm. Let 'em know that I got here on my terms, not theirs. And when I'm done, I'm gonna dance my ass off into the night. And they'll know - everyone will fucking know that they could never control one goddamn fucking thing. Do you like ice cream?
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Jack Conrad
Elinor, you peddle gossip. You don't make anything. You don't know what it is to put yourself out there. You're just a cockroach. I've been counted out before. This isn't new to me.
Elinor St. John
Have you ever stopped to think why, when there's a house fire, the people die and the cockroaches all survive?
Jack Conrad
Jesus Christ.
Elinor St. John
What happened was you thought the house needed you. It doesn't. Doesn't need you any more than it needs the roaches. And the roaches, knowing this, crawl back into the dark, lay low, and make it through. See, but you, you held the spotlight. It's those of us in the dark, the ones who just watch, who survive.
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Jack Conrad
I had a good run, didn't I?
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Nellie LaRoy
That's what a degenerate fucking animal from Jersey does. So you know what? I'm gonna let you go on fucking your cousins, polishing your guest lists, buying your underage fucking mistresses' fucking lingerie, you sick fucks! I'm the animal? What is this shit? What is this shit? Oh I'm the sick one? I'm the fucking crazy one? You people make me fucking sick! You're not better than me! You're not! You're not fucking better than me. I don't need this shit. You know what? I'm gonna go home, I'm just gonna stick some coke up my pussy and... . You can all stick your champagne flutes up your rose-smelling, candy tasting *Snow White fucking assholes*!
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Manny Torres
[on the phone, after seeing "The Jazz Singer"]
Jack? It's Manny. Everything's about to change.
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Elinor St. John
Marbled meadows metamorphose into the medieval plains of Iberia. Soldiers swarm the fields like flecks of paint from a madman's brush as your humble servant bears witness to the latest of the moving picture's magic tricks. - - Oh, why do I bother? Look at these idiots! I knew Proust, you know.
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Jack Conrad
You ever been on a movie set before?
Manny Torres
No.
Jack Conrad
You'll see. It's the most magical place in the world.
Manny Torres
Eso dicen.
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Jack Conrad
And then he says: "Frankly Scarlett, you're a cunt." Type it.
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Sidney Palmer
I think you've got the cameras pointing in the wrong direction.
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Ruth Adler
Man number three, I can see your erection.
Max (Ruth's Assistant Director)
All right, tuck it. Just tuck it up.
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Nellie LaRoy
Hello, college!
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Jack Conrad
[approaches the bellhop]
Hey, you do a great job. What's the best tip you've ever received?
Bellhop
Fifty dollars.
Jack Conrad
Who gave you that?
Bellhop
You did, Mr. Conrad.
Jack Conrad
[gives the rest of his money to the bellhop and says his last words]
It's on you now, kid. The future's yours.
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Elinor St. John
And this boy, who breathed his first decades after you breathed your last, will look at your image and think he's found a friend.
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Constance Moore
This goddamn bitch is stealing the scene from right in front of me! She's changing the blocking in every take! She's icing her nipples to perk them up!
Nellie LaRoy
Fuck you, I ain't icing my nipples, this is natural. You're just sore because yours just look like fuckin' latkes.
Nellie LaRoy
I don't even know what that is.
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Jack Conrad
It's not a low art, you know. I want you to know that. What I do means something to millions of people. My folks didn't have the money or the education to go to the theater, so they went to the vaudeville houses, and then the nickelodeons. And you know what? There's beauty there. What happens up on that screen means something. Maybe not to you in your ivory tower. But for real people on the ground, it means something.
Estelle
Jack, I - I have no idea what you're talking about.
Jack Conrad
Of course you don't. Of course you don't! A hundred thousand people see you on Broadway, and it's the smash of the century, right? Well, here it's a flop! A fucking flop! So do me a favor, darling. Save your subtext recommendations for your pretentious Eugene O'Neill-Henrik Ibsen jerk-offs that only a handful of rich geriatrics give two fucks about, and I'll do what I do - without your help!
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Manny Torres
I'm not used to these kind of people.
Jimmy
They're no worse than movie people.
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Driver (Wallach's Party)
Sir, George won't come out of the car. He's insisting I drive him off the nearest cliff.
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Jack Conrad
I'm not asking you to fuck him, just make him feel special.
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Director (Wallach's Party)
Oh God, please forgive us! You sent us this beautiful light and we're squandering it!
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Lady Fay Zhu
You okay, sweetie?
Lady Fay Zhu
It was.
Jack Conrad
Another set, another review. Another romance, another breakup. I'm tired, Fay.
[long pause]
Jack Conrad
It's okay.
[clicks tongue]
Jack Conrad
It's okay. I've been the luckiest bastard in the world. I had a good run, didn't I? Hmm?
Lady Fay Zhu
You sure did.
Jack Conrad
Yeah. I enjoyed that.
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Jack Conrad
Hola, Carmelita!
[turns to his fiancée Estelle]
Jack Conrad
I have no idea who that was.
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Ruth Adler
Who the fuck is this? I asked for the girl with the tits.
The Count
This is who they found.
Ruth Adler
What happened to the tits part?
The Count
She OD'd.
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Manny Torres
I just love watching movies, you know?
Nellie LaRoy
I love watching movies too.
Manny Torres
You sit there. And you're watching the movie and...
Nellie LaRoy
And you escape. You don't have to be in your own shitty fucking life.
Manny Torres
Exactly!
Nellie LaRoy
Exactly!
Nellie LaRoy
You can be in their life!
Manny Torres
Or wherever!
Nellie LaRoy
Or wherever!
Manny Torres
You can be in the fucking Wild West! You can be in fucking space! You can be like a gangster. And people dance in movies and people die in movies. And they're not really dead. It's fucking amazing. They're not really dead!
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Nellie LaRoy
They said if I don't have the money in a week, they'll pour acid on my pussy!
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Elinor St. John
When in doubt, say something in French.
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Nellie LaRoy
Don't "Nellie baby" me, you six foot fucking vagina!
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Elinor St. John
I'm on a deadline, darling.
Jack Conrad
You know, when I first moved to LA, you know what the signs on all the doors read? "No actors or dogs allowed." Yeah, I changed that. I helped build this place you call home. I've never had any illusions about us. I've never pretended we're friends. We're friendly. I scratch yours, you scratch mine. That's our work. But this?
[tosses the Photoplay magazine on Elinor's table]
Jack Conrad
This is something else.
[sits down on a chair in front of Elinor's desk]
Jack Conrad
I want to know why you wrote it.
Elinor St. John
No, you want to know why they laughed. Would you like me to tell you?
Jack Conrad
Why they laughed. Sure, Elinor. Why?
Elinor St. John
There is no why. It wasn't your voice. It wasn't a conspiracy. And it certainly wasn't anything I wrote. There's nothing you could have done differently. There's nothing you can do. Your time has run out. There is no why. Stop questioning it.
Jack Conrad
I'm on a dry spell.
Elinor St. John
No. It's over. It's been over for a while. I'm sorry.
Jack Conrad
Elinor, you peddle gossip. You don't make anything. You don't know what it is to put yourself out there. You're just a cockroach. I've been counted out before. This isn't new to me.
Elinor St. John
Have you ever stopped to think why, when there's a house fire, the people die and the cockroaches all survive?
Jack Conrad
Jesus Christ.
Elinor St. John
What happened was you thought the house needed you. It doesn't. Doesn't need you any more than it needs the roaches. And the roaches, knowing this, crawl back into the dark, lay low, and make it through. See, but you, you held the spotlight. It's those of us in the dark, the ones who just watch, who survive.
Jack Conrad
A house fire.
Elinor St. John
And there'll be hundreds more like it, too. An earthquake could wipe this town off the map and wouldn't make a difference. It's the idea that sticks. There'll be a hundred more Jack Conrads. Hundred more me's. Hundred more conversations just like this one, over and over again, until God knows when. Because it's bigger than you.
[gets up from her chair]
Elinor St. John
I know it hurts. No one asks to be left behind.
[sits on her desk in front of Jack]
Elinor St. John
But in a hundred years, when you and I are both long gone, any time someone threads a frame of yours through a sprocket, you will be alive again. You see what that means? One day, every person on every film shot this year will be dead. And one day, all those films will be pulled from the vaults, and all their ghosts will dine together, and adventure together, go to the jungle, to war together. A child born in 50 years will stumble across your image flickering on a screen and feel he knows you, like... like a friend, though you breathed your last before he breathed his first. You've been given a gift. Be grateful. Your time today is through, but you'll spend eternity with angels and ghosts.
Jack Conrad
[sadly gets up from his chair, begins to walk away, and stops for a second to sigh]
Thank you for that.
[continues to walk away as Elinor returns to her typewriter]
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Jack Conrad
[over the phone to Manny]
Don't say a word. I'm happy for you. You deserve this. Now go and show those fat fucks how it's done!
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Ruth Adler
Just, uh, shoot the men.
Max (Ruth's Assistant Director)
No tits?
Ruth Adler
No tits.
Max (Ruth's Assistant Director)
All right, no tits, everybody! We're shooting the men.
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Ruth Adler
Cut! Okay, forgive the ask. This is nuts, but could you by any chance try the same thing with less tears?
Nellie LaRoy
One tear or two...
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Nellie LaRoy
Party time, sparkle cocks!
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Robert Roy
First you have to assume the pose of the mongoose!
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Jack Conrad
This table only has one bottle, and we're gonna need eight. We're also gonna need two gin rickeys, an orange blossom with brandy, three French 75s. Can you do a Corpse Reviver? Gin, lemon, triple sec and Kina Lillet with a dash of absinthe. Two of those.
Jen
Two of those.
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James McKay
OK, so there's this 10-year-old kid and he's a prodigy. Good with words, plays piano, recites Lincoln. But the twist is, he's a 50-year-old midget! The joke's on us!
Manny Torres
That is good.
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Bob Levine
The Jersey thing doesn't work anymore. Today's audiences find her pornographic. She's been hanging around Jim McKay's casinos like a half-wit. She owes gambling debts all over town. And she sounds like a donkey.
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James McKay
Welcome to the asshole of Los Angeles!
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Jimmy
Never talk to Elinor! Pretend you can't speak English!
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Nellie LaRoy
You know, "Roy," actually, in French, means "king." And I added the "La," so it's "Nellie the King." I made that up.
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Manny Torres
Nothing happened, for real, but at the same time, it's something even more important than life. You can feel it! Like - I don't know. Movies are sad sometimes. Movies are fucking happy.
Nellie LaRoy
They make you feel something.
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Elephant Wrangler
This is a truck for horses! Do I look like a fucking Maharaja?
Manny Torres
[bribes the wrangler]
And you're invited to the Party.
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Manny Torres
Morphine, opium, ether, heroin, coke. And Louis XIV sat on that.
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Lady Fay Zhu
[singing]
There's one pet I like to pet. Every evening we get set. I stroke it. Every chance I get. It's my girl's. Pussy. Seldom plays and never purrs. And I love. The thoughts it stirs. But I don't mind. Because it's hers. It's my girl's pussy. 'Cause I'll do anything. For my sweet pet. She works me to a sweat. And that's hard to do. I must first. Remove my gloves. When stroking my girl's. Pussy.
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Jack Conrad
You know what we gotta do? We gotta redefine the form. The man who puts gasoline in your tank goes to the movies why? Why? Why? Because he feels less alone there. Don't we owe him more than the same old shit? You got the guys in Europe with the twelve-tone. You got Bauhaus architecture. Fucking Bauhaus, you know? And we're still doing costume pictures? It's the dinosaurs, kid. It's the ones who go to Beverly Hills for meatballs and mint juleps to reminisce about the old days, when they can't see there's so much more to be done! We've got to innovate. We've got to inspire. We got to dream beyond these pesky shells of flesh and bone. Map those dreams onto celluloid and print them into history. Turn today into tomorrow so that tomorrow's lonely man may look up at that flickering screen and say for the very first time, "Eureka! I am not alone!" Yeah.
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Ruth Adler
Tim, you're fired.
Max (Ruth's Assistant Director)
You heard her, get the fuck off this set!
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Manny Torres
[to Nellie]
I've always helped you. And all you've done is break my heart!
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Jack Conrad
Manuel's great!
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Jimmy
[Dead Extra]
He probably ran himself through.
Director (Wallach's Party)
I heard he was a heavy drinker.
Jimmy
It's a disease.
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Jack Conrad
Bauhaus! You know what I mean by Bauhaus, don't you?
Writer (Jack's Tent)
Not as it relates to this, no sir.
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Nellie LaRoy
It'll be like nothing they've ever seen!
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Nellie LaRoy
Manny... this is the end of the road for me.
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[phone rings]
Jack Conrad
Hello?
Irving Thalberg
Jack, it's Irv. Listen, there's no good way to say this. They found George in his home this morning. Looks like he struck out with a girl he was seeing.
[music stops]
Irving Thalberg
He shot himself. Jack?
Jack Conrad
Thank you.
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Jack Conrad
Noah's Ark, why? Because it's raining so much?
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Nellie LaRoy
Oh, I'm no good for you!
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Nellie LaRoy
I'm already a star.
Manny Torres
Ah, you are?
Nellie LaRoy
Yeah.
Manny Torres
What have you been in?
Nellie LaRoy
Nothing yet.
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Extra
That's the cocksucker they sent here to screw us!
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Jack Conrad
So, do you like warm syrup or do you let the pancakes do that?
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Jack Conrad
I saw Olga Putti sing to herself in Hungarian, and I think I'm in love. Send two dozen roses to her dressing room every morning this week.
Manny Torres
You know she doesn't speak English?
Jack Conrad
Neither does love.
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Nellie LaRoy
What a nice man. I wonder if he's single.
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Otto
Okay, remember, you're a sad lonely man and no one will ever love you!
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Nellie LaRoy
Now I do apologize, but I must resign briefly to the powder room. I shan't be long. Ta-ta!
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Institutionalised Mother
[standing in echoing corridors in a smock]
Nellie LaRoy
Seems like a nice place.
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Jack Conrad
[serenely watching the chaos]
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Jack Conrad
I'm gonna play it adagio. You know, for the music and the poetry. All art aspires to music.
Otto
I like it.
Jack Conrad
Yeah. Sandwich!
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Ruth Adler
Is that gum? Are you fucking kidding me? What's wrong with you?
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James McKay
What... the fuck?
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Don Wallach
We're really excited about our new discovery, Nellie LaRoy.
Reporter (Small Restaurant)
Is she here tonight? Can you point her out to me?
Don Wallach
She's the one having sex with the ice sculpture. We're all very fond of her.
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Jack Conrad
This is not a low art!
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Elinor St. John
Would you mind showing me to the upstairs powder room, my dear boy?
Manny Torres
Sure. Uh, it's here down the hall.
Elinor St. John
No! No, no, upstairs.
Manny Torres
The stairs are very steep, I think.
Elinor St. John
I can be carried.
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Betty Boop
Dabadabadabadabadab said the Monkey to the Chimp!
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Nellie LaRoy
Suck a dick, Señor Avocado.
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James McKay
Would you like a drink? It's Brandy and Ether.
Jimmy
Yes.
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Nellie LaRoy
Oh, if they could see me now! All the cunts in Lafayette called me the ugliest mutt in the neighborhood. Well, let them see me now!
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Robert Roy
Nellie dresses low 'cause Nellie is low. Now, let me tell you about the time I fought a rattlesnake.
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Nellie LaRoy
Hot damn! Jack Conrad? You are even more fuckable in person.
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Manny Torres
What's your name?
Nellie LaRoy
Nellie LaRoy.
Manny Torres
Perfect. Once again.
Nellie LaRoy
Nellie LaRoy.
Manny Torres
In French.
Nellie LaRoy
It is French already!
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Police Officer
So, we're talking an elephant, plus Garbo, plus others tonight at Don Wallach's house, is that right?
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Manny Torres
There's a new sensibility now. People care about morals.
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Director (Wallach's Party)
Schneller, motherfuckers!
Subtitle
Faster, motherfuckers!
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Writer (Jack's Tent)
It was brillig, and the slithy toves...
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Nellie LaRoy
You're about to not have a job, fucko!
Dale
Listen, I know you wish you were Billie Dove...
Nellie LaRoy
Oh, I think you wish you were eating my ass!
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Reggie
I practice nine hours a day, you fuck.
Sidney Palmer
Yeah, yeah, but I mean on saxophone, not cocksucking.
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Nellie LaRoy
Chaplin is hung for sure, but Gary Cooper. Gary Cooper is a fucking horse! He's also a fucking pussy. All that cock, no balls. A shame. What are the schlongs like on Broadway?
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Elinor St. John
There is no why. It wasn't your voice. It wasn't a conspiracy. And it certainly wasn't anything I wrote. There's nothing you could have done differently. There's nothing you can do. Your time has run out. There is no why. Stop questioning it.
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Jack Conrad
Elinor, I will master the talking film on film.
Elinor St. John
Do you miss the silents?
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James McKay
Incredible, isn't he? You either are a star or you aren't. And he is!
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Nellie LaRoy
Hey, you two with the camera! Do you know who I am? I'm Nellie LaRoy, bitches.
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Manny Torres
Today's white audiences want Negroes in their pictures. Negro music, Negro voices.
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Sidney Palmer
You need to play better. You embarrassing us.
Reggie
Joe, you hear what he just said to me? Listen to this psychopath. When you gonna do something?
Sidney Palmer
Why you worried about Joe? Nigga, when are you gonna do something? Have you ever heard of Alexander Scriabin?
Reggie
Why the fuck do I care about Alexander Scriabin?
Sidney Palmer
Alexander Scriabin was a Russian pianist. Broke his hands just so his fingers could stretch across the keys better. I'm saying if I fucking headbutt you across them funky-ass lips of yours, you might start playing a little better. We can hope.
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James McKay
My last idea is the best.
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Robert Roy
We'll serve sandwiches in the shape of her face!
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Manny Torres
[stuck in the catacombs]
It's getting really late.
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Orville Pickwick
[after Jane Thornton overdoses on cocaine]
Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
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James McKay
Ah, you came through. That's the main thing.
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James McKay
We were going to make movies together!
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Jack Conrad
Did you know Michelangelo painted the entire Sistine Chapel on his back?
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Nellie LaRoy
[Is at the Hearst party, struggling to cope with the upper-class snobbery. Finally she breaks:]
Actually, I've got one. A bear and a rabbit are shittin' in the woods one day. And the bear says to the rabbit, 'Hey, do ya ever have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?' And the rabbit finishes shitting and he says, 'No, I never do. Why?' And the bear says, 'Fan-fuckin'-tastic!' And he grabs the rabbit behind the ears and...
[She grabs the rabbit fur scarf from around Mildred Yates' neck and imitates wiping her butt]
Nellie LaRoy
Why not? Why, haven't you heard what they say about me? I'm a degenerate fuckin' animal. 'Oh, Nellie!' Look at them. 'Oh, who knows what she might do? She's from Jersey, y'know.' This is what a degenerate fuckin' animal from Jersey does.
[She viciously downs the buffet like an animal, to everyone's horror]
Nellie LaRoy
That's what the degenerate fuckin' animal from Jersey does. So y'know what? I'm gonna let you go on fuckin' your cousins, polishing your guest lists, plying your fuckin' underage mistresses with fuckin' Beaujolais, you sick fucks! I'm the animal? What is this shit? What is this shit? Oh, I'm the sick one! I'm the fuckin' crazy one! You people make me fuckin' sick! You're not better than me! You're not! You're not fuckin' better than me. I don't need this shit. Y'know what? I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna stick some coke up my pussy. And you all can stick your champagne flutes up your rose-smellin', candy-tastin', snow-white fuckin' assholes!
[She goes to leave, but quickly runs back inside. She then projectile vomits on the floor, horrifying and disgusting everyone]
William Randolph Hearst
My rug! You puked on my rug!
[Nellie proceeds to projectile vomit on Hearst, before taking a sarcastic bow and leaving]
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Elinor St. John
So, upstairs is where Don keeps his underage girls, then?
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Nellie LaRoy
I ain't a fucking pussy!
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Elinor St. John
Never have I seen such a maelstrom of bad taste and sheer magic.
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Nellie LaRoy
Well, that was a waste of time!
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Bob Levine
You! I've been looking all over for you. We got a serious fucking situation.
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James McKay
I was thinking, you make a movie about him, and in it, you make him full-fledged retard.
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Director (Wallach's Party)
This is when you kiss the apparition.
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Elinor St. John
So, Jacky boy, how do you think it turned out?
Jack Conrad
Ah, people want the kiss, we give them the kiss.
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Lady Fay Zhu
Do you think she swings both ways?
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Elinor St. John
There is no why.
[Yoda!]
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Elinor St. John
Ordinary and uncool as she may be, there's something about her that speaks to us in a language as vital and as pressing as life itself. Never have I seen such a mess of a bad taste and sheer magic. Your humble servant bares witness... just killed our grandmothers, and we thank her for it!
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