Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse Movie Quotes
Carter
He looks like shit!
Augie
I set him on fire.
[everyone looks at him]
Augie
He tried to eat me!
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Ben
Carter, let's go!
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Carter
[Posing in the jail cell trying to take a selfie, one of the zombies grabs his shoulder]
Dude, what the fuck? Haven't you had enough to eat? Jesus
Ben
Carter, stop agitating them.
Carter
What? I need a new profile pic.
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Augie
It's the zombie apocalypse! Come on, we're scouts! We're trained for this!
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Ben
Guys, let's go. We gotta get to the party
Augie
Ben, this is a suicide mission.
Ben
Guys, they're gonna bomb this whole town in less than two hours.
Carter
What if Denise reaches the military in time?
Ben
And what if she doesn't, Carter? Then what? Who's gonna save them? The police? They're gone. The military? They're not coming, either. Guys we're the last line of defense. And so what? Maybe we look like dorks in these uniforms. And maybe we're a big joke to everyone at school. But tonight, we're gonna show them what being a real Scout's all about. So, are we just gonna stand here with our thumbs up our asses? Or are we gonna go out there and save the world?
Carter
Fuck yeah, dude!
Augie
It was a really good speech, Ben.
Ben
Thanks, Augie.
Carter
Let's do it.
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Augie
We're fine! Everything's under control!
[a zombie jumps through a window and attacks]
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Carter
[giving money to a stripper, unaware that she's a zombie]
Don't worry, mommy! Daddy's here! This is fucking awesome!
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Denise
Calm the fuck down!
Ben
Calm down? Are you crazy? We almost just got killed in there!
Ben
Can you please just tell us what the hell is going on?
Carter
Anyone? I really need to wash off my face right now!
Ben
Not until you tell us what's happening.
Carter
A wet nap! Anyone got a wet nap?
[Pulls a bandana from pocket and uses that]
Denise
What the fuck do you think is happening? Everyone's eating each other.
Ben
Wait... Like a...
Denise
YES! Like that!
Ben
But that's not possible...
Carter
I think it's possible Ben. A dead stripper just tried to eat my face!
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Ben
All right, scouts. Let's kick some zombie ass!
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[post credits scene; Rogers' head is lying on a sandy hill with the blown up building from before behind him. Rogers is heard grumbling until bird feces lands on his cheek]
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