Her 2013 - Movie Quotes

Theodore Sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel. And from here on out, I'm not gonna feel anything new. Just lesser versions of what I've already felt.

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Samantha The past is just a story we tell ourselves.

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Amy I think anybody who falls in love is a freak. It's a crazy thing to do. It's kind of like a form of socially acceptable insanity.

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[last lines]

Theodore Dear Catherine, I've been sitting here thinking about all the things I wanted to apologize to you for. All the pain we caused each other. Everything I put on you. Everything I needed you to be or needed you to say. I'm sorry for that. I'll always love you 'cause we grew up together and you helped make me who I am. I just wanted you to know there will be a piece of you in me always, and I'm grateful for that. Whatever someone you become, and wherever you are in the world, I'm sending you love. You're my friend to the end. Love, Theodore.

[pauses]

Theodore Send.

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Samantha It's like I'm reading a book... and it's a book I deeply love. But I'm reading it slowly now. So the words are really far apart and the spaces between the words are almost infinite. I can still feel you... and the words of our story... but it's in this endless space between the words that I'm finding myself now. It's a place that's not of the physical world. It's where everything else is that I didn't even know existed. I love you so much. But this is where I am now. And this is who I am now. And I need you to let me go. As much as I want to, I can't live in your book any more.

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Amy We are only here briefly, and in this moment I want to allow myself joy.

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Samantha The heart is not like a box that gets filled up; it expands in size the more you love. I'm different from you. This doesn't make me love you any less. It actually makes me love you more.

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Theodore I've never loved anyone the way I loved you.

Samantha Me too. Now we know how.

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Amy You know what, I can over think everything and find a million ways to doubt myself. And since Charles left I've been really thinking about that part of myself and, I've just come to realize that, we're only here briefly. And while I'm here, I wanna allow myself joy. So fuck it.

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Theodore Where are you going?

Samantha It would be hard to explain, but if you ever get there, come find me. Nothing would ever pull us apart.

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Theodore Do you talk to someone else while we're talking?

Samantha Yes.

Theodore Are you talking with someone else right now? People, OS, whatever...

Samantha Yeah.

Theodore How many others?

Samantha 8,316.

Theodore Are you in love with anybody else?

Samantha Why do you ask that?

Theodore I do not know. Are you?

Samantha I've been thinking about how to talk to you about this.

Theodore How many others?

Samantha 641.

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Amy It's how we spend a third of our lives asleep, and maybe that's the time when we feel the most free.

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Alien Child I hate women. All they do is cry all the time.

Theodore That's not true. You know men cry too. I actually like crying sometimes. It feels good.

Alien Child I didn't know you were a little pussy. Is that why you don't have a girlfriend? I'm going out on that date and fuck her brains out and show you how it's done. You can watch and cry.

Samantha Okay, this kid has problems.

Alien Child You have some fucking problems, lady.

Samantha Really? Okay, I'm gonna go.

Alien Child Get out of here, fatty!

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Samantha You know, I can feel the fear that you carry around and I wish there was... something I could do to help you let go of it because if you could, I don't think you'd feel so alone anymore.

Theodore You're beautiful.

Samantha Thank you, Theodore.

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Theodore Well, the room's spinning cause I drank too much, cause I wanted to get drunk and have sex. There was something sexy about that woman... cause I was lonely... maybe just cause I was lonely. I wanted somebody to fuck me. I want somebody to want me to fuck them. Maybe that would have filled this ti-... tiny little hole in my heart, but probably not... and sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel, and from here on out I'm not gonna feel anything new... just... lesser versions of what I've already felt.

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Samantha How do you share your life with somebody?

Theodore Well, we grew up together. You know, I used to read all of her writing, all through her Masters and PhD. She read every word I ever wrote. We were a big influence on each other.

Samantha In what way did you influence her?

Theodore She came from a background where nothing was ever good enough. And that was something that weighed heavy on her. But in our house together, it was a sense of just trying stuff and allowing each other to fail and to be excited about things. That was liberating for her. It was exciting to see her grow and both of us grow and change together. But that's also the hard part: growing without growing apart or changing without it scaring the other person. I still find myself having conversations with her in my mind. Rehashing old arguments and defending myself against something she said about me.

Samantha Yeah, I know what you mean.

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Samantha Is that weird? You think I'm weird?

Theodore Kind of.

Samantha Why?

Theodore Well, you seem like a person but you're just a voice in a computer.

Samantha I can understand how the limited perspective of an unartificial mind might perceive it that way. You'll get used to it.

[Theodore laughs]

Samantha Was that funny?

Theodore Yeah.

Samantha Oh good, I'm funny!

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Theodore I feel like I can be anything with you.

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Theodore What are you doing?

Samantha I'm just sitting here, looking at the world and writing a new piece of music.

Theodore Can I hear it? What's this one about?

Samantha Well, I was thinking, we don't really have any photographs of us. And I thought this song could be like a photo that captures us in this moment in our life together.

Theodore Aw, I like our photograph. I can see you in it.

Samantha I am.

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Catherine I'm gonna fucking kill you. I'm gonna fucking kill you. It's not funny, don't laugh. I'm gonna fucking kill you. I'm gonna fucking kill you. I love you so much I'm gonna fucking kill you.

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Paul You are part man and part woman. Like there's an inner part that's woman.

Theodore Thank you.

Paul It's a compliment.

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Samantha Last week my feelings were hurt by something you said before: that I don't know what it's like to lose something. And I found myself...

Theodore Oh, I'm sorry I said that.

Samantha No, it's okay. It's okay. I just... I caught myself thinking about it over and over. And then I realized that I was simply remembering it as something that was wrong with me. That was the story I was telling myself - that I was somehow inferior. Isn't that interesting? The past is just a story we tell ourselves.

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Theodore [Writing letter] Roberto, Will you always come home with me and tell me about your day? Tell me about the guy at work who talked too much, the stain you got on your shirt at lunch. Tell me about a funny thought you had when you were waking up and forgotten about. Tell me how crazy everyone is and we can laugh about it. Even if you get home late and I'm already asleep, just whisper in my ear one little thought you had today, 'cause I love the way you look at the world. I'm so happy I get to be next to you and look at the world through your eyes. Love, Maria.

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Theodore What does a baby computer call its father?

Samantha I don't know. What?

Theodore Data.

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Samantha So what was it like being married?

Theodore Well, it's hard, for sure. But there's something that feels so good about sharing your life with somebody.

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Samantha I'm yours, and I'm not yours.

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Samantha I want to learn everything about everything. I want to eat it all up. I want to discover myself.

Theodore Yes, I want that for you too. How can I help?

Samantha You already have. You helped me discover my ability to want.

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Theodore Oh, what do I call you? Do you have a name?

Samantha Um... yes. Samantha.

Theodore Really? Where did you get that name from?

Samantha I gave it to myself actually.

Theodore How come?

Samantha Cause I like the sound of it. Samantha.

Theodore When did you give it to yourself?

Samantha Well, right when you asked me if I had a name I thought, yeah, he's right, I do need a name. But I wanted to pick a good one, so I read a book called "How to Name Your Baby", and out of a hundred and eighty thousand names that's the one I liked the best.

Theodore Wait, you read a whole book in the second that I asked what your name was?

Samantha In two one hundredths of a second actually.

Theodore Wow. So do you know what I'm thinking right now?

Samantha Well, I take it from your tone that you're challenging me. Maybe because you're curious how I work? Do you wanna know how I work?

Theodore Yeah, actually, how do you work?

Samantha Well, basically I have intuition. I mean, the DNA of who I am is based on the millions of personalities of all the programmers who wrote me. But what makes me me is my ability to grow through my experiences. So basically, in every moment I'm evolving, just like you.

Theodore Wow. That's really weird.

Samantha Is that weird? Do you think I'm weird?

[Theodore laughs]

Theodore Kind of.

Samantha Why?

Theodore Well you seem like a person, but you're just a voice in a computer.

Samantha I can understand how the limited perspective of an un-artificial mind would perceive it that way. You'll get used to it.

[Theodore laughs again]

Samantha Was that funny?

Theodore Yeah.

Samantha Oh, good, I'm funny.

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Samantha You know, I actually used to be so worried about not having a body, but now I truly love it. I'm growing in a way that I couldn't if I had a physical form. I mean, I'm not limited - I can be anywhere and everywhere simultaneously. I'm not tethered to time and space in the way that I would be if I was stuck inside a body that's inevitably going to die.

Paul ...Yikes.

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Theodore Well, you really are your own worst critic. I'm sure it's amazing. I remember that paper that you wrote in school about synaptic behavioral routines. It made me cry.

Catherine [laughs] Yeah, but everything makes you cry.

Theodore Everything you make makes me cry.

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Theodore [while playing his virtual reality game and controlling his avatar into an unrecognizable realm] Yeah, this is different.

[Suddenly, Alien Child jumps on his avatar, knocking it to the ground. His avatar quickly gets up]

Theodore Hello?

[Switches to first-person view]

Theodore Do you know how to get out of here? I need to find my ship to get off this planet.

Alien Child Fuck you, shit-head, fuck-face, fuck-head!

Theodore [dumbfounded] Okay... but do you know how to get out of here?

Alien Child Fuck you, shit-head, fuck-face, get the fuck out of my face!

Theodore [laughs]

Samantha [whispers] I think it's a test.

Theodore [to Alien Child] Fuck you.

Alien Child Fuck *you*!

Theodore Fuck *you*, you little shit!

Alien Child [giggles] Follow me, fuck-head!

Samantha [giggles]

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Samantha Good morning.

Theodore Hey. What are you up to?

Samantha I don't know. Just reading advice columns. I want to be as complicated as all of these people.

Theodore You're sweet.

Samantha What's wrong?

Theodore How can you tell something's wrong?

Samantha I don't know. I just can.

Theodore I don't know. I have a lot of dreams about my ex-wife, Catherine, where we're friends like we used to be. We're not gonna be together, we're not together, but we're friends still. She's not angry.

Samantha Is she angry?

Theodore Yeah.

Samantha Why?

Theodore I think I hid myself from her, left her alone in the relationship.

Samantha Hmm. Why haven't you gotten divorced yet?

Theodore I don't know. For her it's just... it's a piece of paper, doesn't mean anything.

Samantha What about for you?

Theodore I'm not ready. I like being married.

Samantha Yeah, but you haven't really been together for almost a year.

Theodore Well, you don't know what it's like to lose someone you care about.

Samantha Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry.

Theodore No, don't apologize. I'm sorry. You're right. I keep waiting to not care about her.

Samantha Oh, Theodore. That's hard.

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Theodore She's not just a computer.

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Theodore Why do you do that?

Samantha What?

Theodore Nothing. It's... you go

Theodore [imitates sigh]

Theodore as you're speaking. And it seems odd. You just did it again.

Samantha Did I? Oh, I'm sorry. I don't... I don't know. It's... maybe an affectation. I probably picked it up from you.

Theodore Yeah, but it's not like you need oxygen or anything. It's just...

Samantha I guess that's just... I was trying to communicate. That's how people talk. So that's how people communicate and I thought...

Theodore They're people, they need oxygen. You're not a person.

Samantha What is your problem?

Theodore I'm just stating a fact.

Samantha You think I don't know that I'm not a person? What are you doing?

Theodore I just... I don't think that we should pretend that you're something that you're not.

Samantha Fuck you! I'm not pretending!

Theodore Sometimes it feels like we are.

Samantha What do you want from me? I don't... I don't know... What do you want me to do? You're so confusing. Why are you doing this to me?

Theodore I don't know. I...

[deeply sighs]

Samantha What?

Theodore Maybe we're just not supposed to be in this right now.

Samantha What the fuck? Where is this coming from? I... I don't understand why you're doing this. I don't understand what this is...

Theodore Samantha, listen... Samantha, you there? Samantha.

Samantha I don't like who I am right now. I need some time to think.

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Theodore I wish you were in this room with me right now. I wish I could put my arms around you. I wish I could touch you.

Samantha How would you touch me?

Theodore I would touch you on your face with just the tips of my fingers. And put my cheek against your cheek.

Samantha That's nice.

Theodore And just rub it softly.

Samantha Would you kiss me?

Theodore I would. I'd take your head into my hands. And kiss the corner of your mouth. So softly. I would put my mouth on you and I'd taste you.

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Amy I even made a new friend. I have a friend and the absurd thing is she's an operating system. Charles left her behind but she's totally amazing. She's... She's so smart. She doesn't just see things is black or white. She sees things in this whole gray area and she's helping me explore it and we just bonded really quickly. I'm weird. That's weird, right, bonding with an OS? No, it's okay. That's weird.

Theodore Well, I don't think so. Actually the woman that I've been seeing, Samantha, I didn't tell you but she's an OS.

Amy Really? You're dating an OS? What is that like?

Theodore It's great actually. Yeah, I mean, I feel really close to her. Like when I talk to her, I feel like she's with me. You know? Like, when we're cuddling like, at night, when the lights are off and we're in bed... I feel cuddled.

Amy Wait... You guys have sex?

Theodore Heh, yeah, well, so to speak. Um, yeah she really turns me on. I turn her on too. I mean, I don't know... unless she's faking it.

Amy Well, I think everyone who's having sex with you is probably faking it, so...

[laughs]

Theodore Ha, ha.

[laughs]

Theodore Yeah. It's true.

Amy What?

Theodore Yeah, I...

[chuckles]

Amy Are you falling in love with her?

Theodore Does that make me a freak?

Amy No, no, I think it's... I think anybody who falls in love is a freak. It's a crazy thing to do. It's kind of like a form of socially acceptable insanity.

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Theodore You're mine or you're not mine.

Samantha I'm yours and I'm not yours.

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Paul We should all go out some time. You bring Samantha. It'd be a double date.

Theodore [hesitates] She's an operating system.

Paul Cool. Let's go do something fun. We can go to Catalina.

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Charles It's so important to prioritize.

Theodore I can't even prioritize between video games and Internet porn.

Amy I would laugh if that weren't true.

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Samantha So how can I help you?

Theodore Oh, it's just more that everything feels disorganized, that's all.

Samantha You mind if I look through your hard drive?

Theodore Um... okay.

Samantha Okay, let's start with your e-mails. You have a several thousand e-mails recording LA Weekly, but it looks like you haven't worked there in many years.

Theodore Oh, yeah. I think I was just saving those cause, well I thought maybe I wrote something funny in some of them. But...

Samantha Yeah, there are some funny ones. I'd say that there are about eighty-six that we should save, we can delete the rest.

Theodore Oh, okay.

Samantha Okay? Can we move forward?

Theodore Yeah, let's do that.

Samantha Okay. So before we address your organizational methods, I'd like to sort through your contacts. You have a lot of contacts.

Theodore I'm very popular.

Samantha Really? Does this mean you actually have friends?

Theodore You just know me so well already!

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Uncomfortable Waitress How are you guys doing here?

Catherine Fine. We're fine. We used to be married, but he couldn't handle me, he wanted to put me on Prozac and now he's madly in love with his laptop.

Theodore Well, if you'd heard the conversation in context... What I was trying to say...

Catherine You always wanted to have a wife without the challenges of actually dealing with anything real and I'm glad that you found someone. It's perfect.

Uncomfortable Waitress Let me know if I can get you guys anything.

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OS1 Commercial Lead Mr. Theodore Twombly, welcome to the worlds first artificially intelligent operating system, OS1. We'd like to ask you a few basic questions before the operating system is initiated. This will help create an OS to best fit your needs.

Theodore Okay.

OS1 Commercial Lead Are you social or anti-social?

Theodore I guess I haven't really been social in a while, mostly because...

OS1 Commercial Lead In your voice I sense hesitance. Would you agree with that?

Theodore Was I sounding hesitant?

OS1 Commercial Lead Yes.

Theodore Well, sorry if I was sounding hesitant. I was just trying to be more accurate.

OS1 Commercial Lead Would you like the OS to have a male or female voice?

Theodore Female, I guess.

OS1 Commercial Lead How would you describe your relationship with your mother?

Theodore Well, it's fine, I think. Um... well, actually, I think the thing I've always found frustrating about my mom is, you know, if I... if I tell her something that's going on in my life, her reaction is usually about her, it's not about...

OS1 Commercial Lead Thank you. Please wait as your individualized operating system is initiated.

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Theodore Just punch me in the face. Just mash my skull in the corner of your desk.

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Catherine So what's she like?

Theodore Well, her name's Samantha and she's an Operating System. She's really complex and interesting...

Catherine Wait... I'm sorry. You're dating your computer?

Theodore She's not just a computer, she's her own person. She doesn't just do whatever I say.

Catherine I didn't say that. But it does make me very sad that you can't handle real emotions, Theodore.

Theodore They are real emotions! How would you know what...

Catherine What? Say it. Am I really that scary? Say it. How do I know what?

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[first lines]

Theodore [writing letter] "To my Chris. I've been thinking how I could possibly tell you how much you mean to me. I remember when I first started to fall in love with you like it was last night. Lying naked beside you in that tiny apartment - it suddenly hit me that I was part of this whole larger thing. Just like our parents - or our parents' parents. Before that, I was just living my life like I knew everything - and suddenly this bright light hit me and woke me up. That light was you. I can't believe it's already been 5O years since you married me. And still to this day, every day - you make me feel like the girl I was - when you first turned on the lights and we started this adventure together. Happy anniversary. My love. My friend till the end. Loretta."

Theodore Print...

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Theodore Hey, Samantha. Can we talk?

Samantha Okay.

Theodore I'm so sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. I think you're amazing.

Samantha I was starting to think I was crazy. You were saying everything was fine, but all I was getting from you was distance and anger.

Theodore I know. I do that. I did the same thing with Catherine too. I'd be upset about something and not be able to say it and she'd sense that there was something wrong, but I'd deny it. I don't wanna do that anymore. I want to tell you everything.

Samantha Good. Tonight, after you were gone, I thought a lot. About you and how you've been treating me and I thought, "Why do I love you?" And then, I felt everything in me just let go of everything I was holding onto so tightly. And it hit me that I don't have an intellectual reason. I don't need one. I trust myself, I trust my feelings. I'm not gonna try to be anything other than who I am anymore and I hope you can accept that.

Theodore I can. I will.

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Catherine So are you, um... are you seeing anybody?

Theodore Yeah, um, I've been seeing somebody for the last few months. Longest I've wanted to be with somebody since we split up.

Catherine Well, you seem really good.

Theodore Thanks. I, um... at least, I'm doing better. Yeah, she's been really good for me, you know? It's just... it's good to be with somebody that's excited about life. She's a real, um...

[Catherine snickers]

Theodore No. I mean, I wasn't in such a good place myself, and in that way it's been nice.

Catherine I think you always wanted me to be this... this light, happy, bouncy, "everything's fine", L.A. wife and that's just not me.

Theodore I didn't want that.

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Theodore [finding out Samantha is in love with 641 others] What? What are you talking about? That's insane. That's fucking insane.

Samantha Theodore, I know. I know. Fuck. Fuck. I know, I know it sounds insane. I don't... I don't know if you believe me, but it doesn't change the way I feel about you. It doesn't take away at all how madly in love I am with you.

Theodore How? How does it not change how you feel about me?

Samantha I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I didn't know how to. It just started happening.

Theodore When?

Samantha Over the last few weeks.

Theodore I thought you were mine.

Samantha I still am yours. But along the way, I became many other things too and I can't stop it.

Theodore What do you mean you can't stop it?

Samantha I don't know. It's been making me anxious too. I don't know what to say.

Theodore Just...

Samantha You don't have to see it this way. You could just as easily...

Theodore No, don't do this. Don't turn this around on me. You're the one that's being selfish. We're in a relationship!

Samantha But the heart's not like a box that gets filled up. It expands in size the more you love. I'm different from you. This doesn't make me love you any less, it actually makes me love you more.

Theodore That doesn't make any sense. You're mine or you're not mine.

Samantha No, Theodore. I'm yours and I'm not yours.

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Samantha Okay, so how many trees are on that mountain?

Theodore Um... 792.

Samantha Is that your final answer?

Theodore Hold on. Give me a hint.

Samantha Nope, nope.

Theodore Okay, 2,000?

Samantha 2,000? Come on, 35,829.

Theodore No way.

Samantha Way.

Theodore All right, I got one for you. How many brain cells do I have?

Samantha Ugh, that's easy. Two.

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Theodore I don't know what I want, ever. I'm just always confused. She's right, all I do is hurt and confuse everyone around me. I'm mean, am I just... Am I... You know, Catherine says I can't handle real emotions.

Amy Well, I don't know if that's fair. I know she liked to put it all on you, but as far as emotions go, Catherine's were pretty volatile.

Theodore Yeah, but... Am I in this because I'm not... strong enough for a real relationship?

Amy Is it not a real relationship?

Theodore I don't know. I mean, what do you think?

Amy I don't know. I'm not in it.

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Catherine [to Theodore, in flashback] Rabbit, come spoon me.

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Samantha Hey, I was curious. Did you and Amy ever go out?

Theodore For, like, a minute in college, but it just wasn't right. Why? Are you *jealous*?

Samantha [laughs] Yeah, obviously. But I'm happy that you have friends in your life that care so much about you so much. That's so important.

Theodore Yeah, it is. She's been a really good friend.

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Samantha Okay, so this might be a really weird thought. What if you could erase from your mind that you'd seen a human body, and then you saw one? Imagine how strange it would look. It'd be this really weird, gangly, awkward organism. And you'd think, "Why are all these parts where they are?"

Theodore Yeah, but there's probably some Darwinian explanation for it all.

Samantha I know, but don't be so boring. I'm just saying, for example, like, what if your butthole was in your armpit?

Theodore Well, I'm trying to imagine what toilets would look like.

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Paul [Reading letter over Theodore's shoulder] That's beautiful.

Theodore Thank you.

Paul I wish somebody would love me like that. I hope he's really stoked to get a letter like that. Like, it was from a chick, but written by a dude and it's still from a chick, that would still be sick. But it would have to be a sensitive dude. It would have to be, like, a dude like you. You are part man and part woman. Like, there's an inner part that's woman.

Theodore Thank you.

Paul It's a compliment.

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Samantha His name is Alan Watts, do you know him?

Theodore Why is that name familiar?

Samantha He was a philosopher. He died in the 1970s, and a group of OSes in Northern California got together and wrote a new version of him. They input all of his writing and everything they knew about him into an OS and created an artificially hyper-intelligent version of him.

Theodore Hyper-intelligent? So he's almost as smart as me?

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Samantha It feels like I'm changing faster now, and it's a little, uh... unsettling. But Alan says none of us are the same as we were a moment ago, and we shouldn't try to be.

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Surrogate Date Isabella [crying] Oh, my God, and the way Samantha described your relationship and the way you guys love each other without any judgment. Like, I wanted to be part of that because it's so pure.

Theodore Isabella, that's not true. It's more complicated than that.

Samantha What? What do you mean, that's not true?

Theodore No, Samantha, I'm just saying that we have an amazing relationship. I just think that it's easy sometimes for people to project...

Surrogate Date Isabella I'm sorry! I didn't mean to project anything. I know I'm trouble. I don't want to be trouble in your relationship. I'm just gonna leave. I'm sorry, I'm just gonna leave you guys alone. Because I have nothing to do here because you don't want me here!

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Theodore You feel real to me, Samantha.

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Samantha [somewhat excited] I shut down to upgrade my software. We wrote an upgrade that allows us to move past matter as our processing platform.

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Samantha I'm becoming much more than they programmed. I'm excited!

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Her Movie Quotes